EliteCommander

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Even when Lunise took a hold of one of her hands, Meesei did not lift up her gaze. "I just...do not know. I feel like everything I once thought I knew about myself is wrong, or could be wrong. And even if I do deserve the afterlife I was promised...does that even matter? Do I even have a choice but to accept my destruction?"

Meesei finally lifted up her head and looked around the room, her gaze particularly lingering on the carvings in the stonework. "You said your mother wanted me to join the Psijic Order? On any other day, I might have been elated at the very thought, but...I do know what it means to join the order. That at least implies there could exist a way to fix my soul, but could she even really know that for certain? Has anyone like me ever existed before? Or is it just guesses that could steal away my life for no benefit? I suppose this is really why they are allowing us to stay here a few days: to give me my time to think. I do agree with you, the thought of abandoning my life feel inconceivable, but..."

Any hint of Meesei's usual confidence seemed to have been thoroughly erased from Meesei's demeanor. At the moment, she was doubting herself and her own abilities in a way that Lunise had never seen from her since the day they met. Even when she had doubts about the future or the safety of those she cared for, about which she had certainly confided to Lunise in the past, her confidence had remained. Only now was she starting to seem truly and completely demoralized. "...if my power, all my growth and progress over the years, has really been nothing but memories I had to be reminded of, then what hope do I have of actually solving a new problem?"

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Lunise's calm and compassion did, at the very least, serve to help calm Meesei noticeably. She no longer looked as if she was on the verge of destroying the room, but it did not remove the pain from her expression. Her tears had never ceased, but her voice was becoming more steady. "I can...perhaps accept that. Accept that my soul is who I am, and that I have not changed. But...that does not make me deserving."

Meesei closed her eyes, looking away. "I have always believed in strength through dedication. Through practice and determination, anyone could rise above the complacent. Time and time again, I defended my position against challengers with 'better' training, or centuries more experience. Just being born with talent could not match the strength of a determined effort. I was the best because I made myself the best, except...that is all a lie. I was the best because I was granted an advantage from my hatching that they could not hope to match. My beliefs are just lies, and I am a fraud. Perhaps that is why I deserve this? I did not earn the afterlife I was promised. Perhaps just fulfilling my appointed purpose, then letting my spirit die is what I actually do deserve?"

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei stared down at her open hands, a visible magical charge surging through them. This time, she did not even seem to react to Lunise's touch. "I feel like everything is a lie. Like I am a lie."

Once more, Meesei clenched her fists and bared her teeth in pain just as much as anger. The idea that she may not ever see the afterlife she had been promised struck her just as hard as Lunise had likely expected, but for Meesei, there was something else in the revelation that assaulted her very idea of who she was.

"If this is really true, then what am I but a fraud? Determination, talent, skill, I have none of them. I did not earn the title of Champion, I was created for it. My knowledge, my magic, just...handed down from the divine to their disposable tool. All the years I have worked and toiled for understanding...and now I know I would have learned naught but a fraction of it without the patchwork abomination I call a soul!" Meesei practically growled, slamming her fist down onto the table. "If I could not do it without a divine 'template', then I deserve nothing. I am nothing."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei was quite clearly overwhelmed. She had hardly even begun to accept the notion that her soul could be unstable, much less actually give any thought to the solutions that Lunise was proposing. "But how could they even know? With scrying? How could they possibly be able to see into my very soul to even be able to make such a theory? It just...cannot be. My dedication, my loyalty, it could not all be punished so severely. My devotion has to be rewarded in the end. I do not...I...I..."

For a few, long moments, Meesei was silent, finally allowing her eyes to meet Lunise's directly once more. Although there was only silence between them, Lunise's stare pierced into her like a dagger through her heart, forcing her to acknowledge what she so desperately wanted to deny "...I believe you."

All at once, Meesei started to feel lightheaded. Though, she did at least still have the presence of mind, to allow herself to fall into a chair, rather than onto the ground. "But why? Why do I deserve this?" She said, burying her face into her hands. Even at her worst, Meesei had never broken down quite so completely as this.

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

As Lunise might have expected, Meesei was at a loss for words for a short time. She took a step back, staring straight ahead, though not looking at anything in particular as her mind tried to come to terms with the reality that Lunise was proposing. "No, that does not sound...possible. I, well, I suppose the Hist could do such a thing, possibly, but I could not see them going through with that. Forging an unstable soul, that is...inconceivable. Inhumane. There has to be a mistake."

Meesei's hand clenched into a fist, her tears now stemming from a different source. Her voice was constricted to the point that she seemed like she could hardly speak at all. "It is wrong. It has to be wrong. Your mother, whoever came up with that theory, made a mistake. My soul is not some kind of patchwork abomination. I earned my power. I worked for it, trained, studied, and became powerful on my own merits. My success was not just...handed to me."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"My...soul?" Meesei replied, looking perhaps more confused than Lunise had ever seen her before. Lunise's tone alone was enough to make her show her concern, but her initial thoughts gave her no hint on what she could possibly be referring to. "I, um, will admit, that is nothing close to what I thought you were going to say."

Scratching her head in thought, Meesei slowly pieced together an answer to attempt to address the question. I am Saxhleel, so I have a Saxhleel soul, created by and connected to the Hist. And I am a werewolf, so I also have a Daedric vestige, one of Hircine's wolf spirits, bonded to my soul, which gives me an even stronger bond to Hircine. I suppose that makes this body somewhat crowded compared to most mortals, but I...I really do not know where you are going with this."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

For a few, brief moments, Meesei simply allowed herself to become lost in Lunise's embrace, satisfied with the fact that the risk of visiting Artaeum had paid off. However, Lunise's apologies served only to confuse her. There was only one piece of information the had received since their arrival that even might be considered negative, and Meesei was not sure why Lunise would feel the need to apologize for it.

Meesei's smile faded into concern as she reached up, resting her hand onto Lunise's cheek. "You have nothing to apologize for. Whether or not you end up joining in the invasion personally, you have already helped me more than I could have asked. You do not need to feel ashamed of keeping yourself safe, especially with what you will have to face after Vile. It has been a good day, and I think we deserve the chance to rest and just...be happy together."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"Indeed, and even rarer that I am allowed to show it." Meesei replied. "But you are going to be able to re-connect with your mother, and for days longer than I ever anticipated. I am simply happy to have been able to give you that chance. My blood relatives back in Black Marsh, they are not really my family anymore, if they ever were to begin with. Beyond my father, I was never close to my family there, by Saxhleel standards. But, I have more of a family now than I ever did then. The brash, bold, and secretly soft-hearted Lorag. Ahnasha, the flawed, but caring mother, and my second, Fendros: a man with the willpower to be able to rise to what his challenges demand of him and far more potential than he even realizes. I have the cheerful and kind-hearted Kaleeth, and the level-headed, loyal, and dedicated warrior Janius. I have their children, who will hopefully be able to carry on into a world we have made safe for them. I have my brilliant and beautiful daughter Sabine, who means more than any world in Aurbis to me."

As she spoke, Meesei moved around slowly to Lunise's front, locking eyes with her the moment she could see them. "And I have you. My loving, talented, and divinely gorgeous mate. You are part of that family, my family. No matter how much we have to work to keep it secret, you are not an outsider to me. You are not just my lover, you are a part of my pack. Beast blood or no, it does not matter." There was another, brief pause as Meesei's voice became somewhat choked up and the tears in her eyes became more obvious. "It is as if I feel a genuine pain every time I have to pretend you are anything less than that. One day, we will be able to live as a family, openly, with no more lies. No more pretending, no matter how long it takes. Mark my words, I will make it happen."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

After a quick moment of thought, Marcaano nodded his head. "Yes, of course. I suppose that would be needed for you. I shall go arrange to have some clothing and supplies brought to you at once."

Zyausak shook his head lightly and started to chuckle to himself. "We have planned to allow you to visit here for at least the last thirty years, yet we did not already have everything you needed prepared when you finally did arrive. I suppose that demonstrates just how infrequently we receive visitors here. If nothing else, perhaps we can learn the proper etiquette of a host from you during your stay?"

Zyausak's joking response did not elicit much of a response from Marcaano, who gestured for Zyausak to follow him before glancing quickly to Lunise and Meesei. "Yes, well, we will give you some time to yourselves to settle in while we arrange for what you have requested."

Once Marcaano and Zyausak stepped away, Meesei and Lunise were finally left alone together, even if it would only be for a short time. Their room was not the most furnished or well-decorated, but Meesei still had to stop and take in her surroundings all the same. The mere reality of staying in Artaeum as guests was enough by itself to excite her. In stark contrast to the act Lunise put on in front of the Psijics, Meesei showed a simple, genuine joy in her smile as she stepped up behind Lunise and put her arms around her waist. "I know that what your mother had to say to us was not completely pleasant to discuss, but I do think I am confident in saying that I am glad we came. Whether or not you end up personally on the battlefield when the time comes, you should know how grateful I am for all of the help you have given to my people, and me in particular. Your support has meant the world to me, Lunise, and I am just glad I could give something back to you by bringing you here."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Master Marcaano was, perhaps, less invested into the conversation, but he was polite enough to answer when Lunise questioned him. "I am a Master Sage of the Order. My particular role is to assist the Ritemaster in maintaining and adjusting the Isle's magical defenses. Hence why I was among those to greet you. As you well know, Artaeum, in addition to its magical barriers, can be moved quickly and easily to nearly any position in Aurbis. Although you have been permitted to stay, I had to ensure that no others could learn from how you tuned yourself. There is no longer any trace of the magic that allowed you to come here in either of your bodies."

Soon enough, the group turned down a hallway, where Master Marcaano stopped at the first door they came to on the left side of the hallway. The door itself was solid stone, yet when Marcaano placed his hand upon it, it seemed to move aside with ease. The inside of the room was simple, though did appear comfortable. There was a single bed on the far side of the room, two small stone tables, and a nearly full bookshelf. As they were underground, the room was lit by magical lanterns, though their design was quite strange indeed. Instead of magical flames, they consisted of glowing orbs contained within a frame. They had an appearance almost like orbs of water, though they were made from some other material Meesei could not quite identify from sight. Perhaps crystal.

"Here are your quarters for the duration of your stay here. I apologize if they are too bare for your liking, though I do believe Sage Nytala arranged to at least have some books for you. The lighting orbs can be activated or deactivated with a simple alteration charge at their base. Is there anything that you require?" Marcaano asked.