EliteCommander

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei followed Pircalmo's explanations closely, as well as reading through the section of the book he pointed out. She had not been too optimistic about finding useful help for her issue before, and even now, it was not as if she had been given the answer to her woes outright. However, Pircalmo's ideas were actually surprisingly encouraging for Meesei. She realized now that she had been approaching the problem from too narrow of a point of view. She had been focusing too much on how she might re-create the effect her own, living body had on her soul, but there were other approaches. She might have come to that conclusion on her own eventually, perhaps, but his perspective had opened up that option for her sooner.

"This is...interesting. I am not sure if anyone knows the precise metaphysical mechanism that allows a normal living body to so easily bind to a soul, but we might not need to." Meesei remarked. "What you said about Dwemer constructs and soul gems, I had not been thinking about that. I have been concentrating too much on trying to find ways for my soul to exist on its own, but that may be the wrong approach. Maybe...maybe I just need to find some other way to bind it. I know of multiple ways to keep this body from aging, but that would only buy me time. Even if nothing kills me, the world itself may eventually come to an end, and I would still be destroyed along with it. No, I need something that would still allow me an afterlife. Maybe...bind my soul directly to the Hist somehow? Or some part of myself that is connected to the Hist? I am not sure if that would keep my memories intact, and I am not sure if...another part of me might interfere."

Giving a soft sigh, Meesei turned her attention towards Lunise. "It may not be possible to keep all of my secrets, Lunise. If we want your father to truly be able to help, he may need to know about everything that is bound to my body."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Without approval from Lunise, Meesei did not want to share any more about her situation than was needed for Pircalmo to help her. She was not sure if Lunise wanted her father to know about the work they were doing to fight against Vile, but at the very least, Meesei was sure that Pircalmo would be accustomed to the restrictions and secrecy that came with being a Justiciar. There could be dire consequences for sharing restricted information, and she doubted that Pircalmo would want his daughter taking that risk. With Meesei at the very least being associated with Lunise, that risk could also reasonably extend to her in Pircalmo's mind.

"As you said, the Hist certainly has a destiny in mind for me. One of importance to them that requires me to be capable." Meesei answered vaguely before shifting back to the subject at hand. "Lunise did inform me that you do not have as extensive of expertise in matters of souls, but I still have a suspicion that your knowledge of the physical body may be helpful. My soul is clearly kept stable in this body, and I find myself curious on what exact properties of a physical body, or even my specific body, would keep a soul together. Perhaps there is a chance that I might use that knowledge to protect me beyond death? In truth, I am not sure that it is likely, but I am sure that you can understand why I would want to explore all of my options."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei gave a single nod, along with letting out a slow breath. "Yes. If that were the end of it, I might be annoyed at the unfair advantage, but I could accept it. There is more to it." She answered. Honestly, she was reasonably surprised that Pircalmo understood her situation as well as he did, though she supposed she should not have doubted Lunise's assessment of her father. She knew better than to think that any of Lunise's personal biases might have prevented her from giving an honest answer.

"According to Nytala, the Psijics do not believe my soul is stable in its current state. True memories or no, a mortal soul was not meant to be created with the experiences of thousands of lifetimes. It is just...too much. In my mortal body, I am kept intact, but Nytala does not believe my being will survive death. My soul may well be torn apart by it. At best, I might be left with no memories nor any of my personality, and that may as well be the same as destruction entirely. That is why I wish to seek help from you, and any expert in esoteric magical subjects that may be even vaguely related. As you might imagine, I take my continued existence too seriously to leave it to chance." Meesei explained. Although she had not called attention to it directly, she expected that Pircalmo would be able to figure out that there was even more going on than he had been told. He had already reasoned that the Hist had a destiny in mind for Meesei, but for the Hist to form one of their own creations in a way that would potentially doom her to destruction implied a destiny of dire importance to the Hist.

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

In all honesty, Meesei felt that this might be an inelegant way to go about bringing up the issue to Pircalmo. Although, in fairness to Lunise, she was not sure there was an elegant way to bring it up. If Meesei wanted to get any actual, useful help from Pircalmo, there were certain truths about herself that would have to be revealed. Otherwise, any information he might give would be flawed.

"Well, I am a restorationist myself, and I am familiar with my own anatomy, of course, but I find myself in a rather unique situation and I feel that I may benefit from an outside perspective. One that does not share the same assumptions that may cloud my judgment." Meesei began. Out of Tamriel's races, Argonians had some of the most unique and, frankly, confusing physiology. Like Khajiit, Argonians could take on different forms, like the large-mouthed Naga, or even massive behemoths, but they were all still Argonian. However, their forms were not always fixed. An Argonian egg, born from one tribe but taken to the Hist tree of another, would be hatched with a body befitting that of the new tribe. To the Hist, their forms were malleable. Adaptable. Argonians were cold blooded, yet they could survive in at least reasonable comfort even in a harsh environment like Skyrim. From many of the writings that Meesei had read, there were not many outsiders who truly understood the actual nature of their existence. Some who had examined Argonian cadavers even remarked that they did not understand how they were even alive in the first place, but that was a question with an answer most Argonians just accepted naturally. The Hist was what shaped them to begin with, and their bodies were intrinsically infused with the Hist's magic. The Hist was the missing piece that most outsiders failed to consider, or at least, failed to understand. An Argonian could be hatched away from the Hist, but it was still an inescapable part of them.

Quietly in her mind, Meesei had to wonder how much Pircalmo had truly learned about her people. Despite his experience, it was still possible that his knowledge was fundamentally flawed. However, Meesei's questions were still worth asking. "The problem I face relates to my body, though it starts with my soul. Nytala was...well, she was kind enough to share with me an unfortunate truth about myself. Do you know of how our souls pass on through death? Instead of some other destination out of Mundus, we return to the Hist. Our essence, our memories, become a part of the Hist until such a time as our souls can be reborn again into a new form. According to Nytala, from the Psijics' understanding...my soul was not reborn into this body as a clean slate, as it were. I have memories, or...templates, as she described them, from potentially thousands of past lives. They are not true memories, I do not believe, as I cannot recall them in the same way as my own memories. However, they are still there deep in my consciousness, just waiting to be...nudged awake by the right inspiration. If I attempt to learn something that one of these past lives once knew, it is more like trying to recall a memory than learning a new concept. It is much easier, and quicker."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei could not help but to smile, if subtly. She took her tea cup in her hand and blew over its surface before answering. "To be honest, I am not completely certain myself. Time has been quite...fickle for me, especially as of late." It was true that she did not remember the exact amount of time it had been since her last visit, though she was also not quite certain that she even remembered what city they were in. In both visits, she had arrived through a portal in which someone else had given her the destination.

Given how Lunise had described her father, Meesei could see how Pircalmo hid the vast majority of his emotion. She had to admit that he was quite masterful in putting on a facade. Were it not for Lunise, Meesei had to admit that she likely would have been fooled by his act, and she could see where Lunise had developed that particular skill. Before they had began their relationship, and even for a short while in the beginning, Meesei had tended to be left guessing on Lunise's true thoughts on any matter, important or no.

Meesei did not want to come across as accusing Pircalmo of hiding anything, but she did want to at least present the fact that she did not blame him for the emotions he may have been hiding. "Do not worry. I know of the nature of Nytala's relationship to you, not to mention the fact that she is a Psijic mage, and I do not blame you for taking the time to appropriately address whatever it is that letter may have contained. I can only guess that it was important. I can say that I did enjoy the garden; I am someone who does appreciate natural beauty."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei began to smile, glancing off towards a cluster of flowers frozen in the midst of a gust of wind. "Yes, I think we have cheated time enough these past few days. Or hours, depending on your perspective. If you do change your mind, though, I will be there for you. I am better at finding time than most." She laughed lightly before stepping back into place and releasing the spell, bringing them back into the regular flow of time.

As the world around them started to move once more, Meesei gave a slow nod to Lunise, who, from an outside perspective, had only just approached. "I take it he is ready, then? I will be right behind you." She remarked. Just as Lunise had suggested, Meesei would wait outside Pircalmo's office for Lunise to give the word to enter.

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

"Hmm, maybe he already suspected she was not coming back? But even if he did, having that fact confirmed would still hit me just as hard, were I in his position." Meesei remarked. "Do you think he needs more time? While I would like to speak to him, I do not want to disturb him if you think it would be better that he be left alone."

Meesei took hold of Lunise's hands, looking her firmly in the eyes. "And for that matter, do you need any more time? I doubt either of us can get away from our responsibilities later today, but I would use up a whole crate of welkynd stones to keep this spell going if you needed it."

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei silently and attentively listened through the whole of Lunise's explanation. She nodded to Lunise, her own expression mirroring her sadness. "I see. That possibility did cross my mind while I was waiting. From our time with your mother, I did not get the impression that she was leaving. Out of any of the bad news she could have given him...that did seem the most likely."

There was some hesitation from Meesei, but she did feel that she may have some helpful advice. Though, it was something that may well also have occurred to Lunise already. "Did you mention anything to him about our visit to her in Artaeum? If not...perhaps he does deserve to know? Speaking with Nytala, I never got the sense that she was anything less than genuine when she said that she loved you, and him. I do believe that, if it were her choice, she would want to return to you. I believe that she does want to return to you, even still. But, she mentioned several times that she has seen into many possible futures, and as frustratingly vague as the Psijic Order demands that she be, she did hint that she has some sort of purpose there. Some purpose that will directly influence you. For her to give up being with you and your father...whatever she has seen must be immensely important. Perhaps it would help your father to know that?"

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

Meesei stood up from the stone bench on which she was relaxing when she saw Lunise approach. She had to admit that she had not anticipated such a long conversation between Lunise and her father, but she did hope that was a good sign. If it helped her, then an hour of light boredom was a worthwhile sacrifice.

There were students in the garden, some passing through, others taking a break themselves. They could have moved somewhere else, or waited for them to move along, but Meesei elected to freeze the both of them in time. Or take them out of it, more accurately. Even if there were easier options, Meesei did feel there was a certain sort of romance to halting time, just to afford her the opportunity to lean in and give Lunise a kiss. More seriously, based on Lunise's demeanor, Meesei felt that she might benefit from a more personal sort of comfort than she was free to give in the open. "How did it go? Was there anything of concern in the letter?"

Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

“I, unfortunately, do not think I can tell you one way or another what would be the best choice.” Meesei remarked. “As I said, I do not know him as you do. But, maybe I can help you ask yourself the right questions. Do you think he does not ask for that kind of support because he does not want it, or because he is afraid to ask? I know that the…expectations of Altmer society are much different from what I am accustomed to. I know that if you seek him out and open up to him, it may change his perception of you as a proud, strong Justiciar, but…perhaps that would be something you would want at this point? That is your decision.”

Meesei paused and took a look around the hall multiple times before, briefly, smiling and putting a hand on her shoulder. “I think I will go and sit outside in the garden for a while. You can come with me if you like, but if you want to go back and talk with him in private, you do not need to worry about me. You can take as much time as you like as well; I know how to act like I belong.”