Review of Caixal
Suggestion for formatting: put the
tags before the entries in the Personnel files section.
Rank should be this: Apprentice (Warrior)
Question: Has he ever taken on any apprentice(s)? If yes, are any of them still alive?Appearance:
Perhaps add in some of the images you chose to compliment the description?Force skills:
In addition to the list, we suggest you write a sort of report to give people a feel of how he uses the Force. Perhaps written by another Sith or an imperial officer?
How is he on playing with the more esoteric elements of the Force?Non-Force skills:
The listed skill levels says very little about his skills outside the Force. Perhaps you could describe what it means for others?
Is he experienced as well as well-trained? Does he have the patience for politics? What would he do if someone tried to frame him for something?
He’s a decent pilot, but is it with fighters? Transports? Capital ships? Is it in combat or outside it?Combat experience:
Not altogether sure that a personalized form can/should truly be named like that. While some Jedi/Sith use a single, pure form, most tend to have a personalized form that is mixed together from many.
The bit about controlling the area falls somewhat under the Principle of Sokan
, of using the terrain to your advantage.
Does he use Dun Möch
? The art of deceit and taunting in combat, pointing out their mistakes and such?
Would he seek to inspire terror in enemies while fighting multiple foes through intentionally disarming and/or dismemberment of foes, potentially up to complete delimbing? (the arts of Sun Djem, Cho Mai, Cho Mok, Cho Sun and Mou Kei)
Rather than name it as something like “total area control”, describe that he fights with the intent to control the battlefield, using all tools at his disposal, the environment, etc.
Minor grammar tweak: Well trained → Well-trained
Question: you’ve delved into six of the seven forms, but not Juyo. Why? (not saying you should, but we’re curious.Political Influence:
In the Empire, political influence is not just about the backstabby, backtalking stuff. It is just as much about having associates and contacts elsewhere in the Empire. Having people who might warn him about an unfriendly rival planning a trap for him.
Does he have any contacts in Imperial Intelligence? Any people he really
It is also worth noting that being an apprentice of Darth Theya brings with it a good bit of political influence. Mind you, it might be that he doesn’t use it much, but it does exist. As does the influence that comes with him being a Pureblooded Sith.Rivals and Enemies:
Does he have any other rivals in the Empire, perhaps non-Sith who have offended him somehow, but who are still alive? People who don’t like him?
Does he have any particular foes in the Republic or Jedi Order, people he’s had problems with before?
Perhaps Heat’s Battlemaster could be one to explore for such?Associates:
Perhaps flesh out a little on what these associates are like? Are they important in the imperial war machine? Do they deal mostly with offense or defense?
Does he have any apprentices? Any “pet” officers? Any troops he usually brings along, or does he take whatever is available?Ownerships:
Guessing you meant Balmorra there?
Any details on the slaves?
Does he perhaps have an underling or two to deal with the day-to-day activities that slaves cannot be trusted with?
When traveling apart from the imperial Army/Navy, what sort of ship does he use, since the Bloodmark is not outfitted with a hyperdrive?
As an apprentice of Darth Theya, he would have access to requisitioning small vessels when he needs to travel.Psychological Evaluation:
Phrasing: rather than “having unlocked”, use “expressed a natural talent for”.
The blood rage bit, we believe that it is not so that most warriors are consumed by it, but still something that many do.
We suggest expanding this into two sections, one for his behavior in battle, another for elsewhere.Flaws:
Details would be wonderful on the flaws.
While some of this will overlap with earlier sections, but sometimes it is better to cover elements twice, with slightly varying perspectives of it.Interests:
Might be an idea to note that he has little interest in politics.
You’ve got Balmoora again instead of Balmorra.
Formatting. Perhaps add
tags around “Exotic Encounters”, so that it is even clearer that it is the proper name of the place?
What sort of personal training? Combat? Physical fitness? Pazaak? Force? Erotic Dancing? Something else?Major achievements:
Details would be wonderful. Especially since some of these achievements are not really covered in the interview section.Failures:
Any other failures? Perhaps something related to politics?Interview:
Was he perhaps involved in the Sacking of Coruscant, but not at the Jedi Temple?
Wild suggestion: Perhaps the attack on the Senate, where Darth Angral slew the Supreme Chancellor?
While not a requirement, it would also be nice to have some more parts to the interview. If you want, you can have them done from other perspectives, such as reports from other people. (Perhaps a report acquired by agents from republic files, to show how terrifying he is to them?)