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Fetzen male Member

STATUS: People are torn apart in the status bar ? Not me. I am heavier than iron, splitting me apart will release dangerous levels of energy. 19 days ago
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Recent Statuses

19 days ago
Current People are torn apart in the status bar ? Not me. I am heavier than iron, splitting me apart will release dangerous levels of energy.
8 likes
28 days ago
I got money, I'll just buy the whole prison including all inmates from the state, but not before placing a bet on the financial markets that crime rate will massively increase very soon and suddenly.
3 likes
3 mos ago
Colleagues told me I'd look like a viking. I'm not sure whether that's a compliment, a warning, something derogative or all of these things.
4 likes
3 mos ago
I'd change the name from 'President' to 'Presidentist' to troll the nation. If a press conference is too noisy, I let a piece of chalk screech on an old whiteboard in front of the microphone.
4 likes
6 mos ago
Why doesn't the US government order the invasion of their own country, North America got plenty of natural resources, too! *looks at ICE and national guard activities* Oh wait, they already are...
1 like

Bio

Welcome to my profile page!


Who the hell is this person behind those many miles of fiber optics and copper cable ?

  • I'm a 34 year old guy.
  • ... who's working as a software developer
  • ... and enjoys roleplaying as a casual hobby to distract himself from ongoing stress


And into which hell will I descend with you participating in one of my roleplays?

  • I'm a fantasy addict: medieval high and low!
  • I'd consider myself to be a low casual roleplayer, 3 paragraphs per post on average.
  • My schedule varies. It might happen that I won't be able to post at all for a week, but then again it might happen that I'll reach a sweet spot inside which I can go on a posting rampage. I'd say one can expect 1-2 posts a week from me, depending on the lengths involved.
  • English is not my native language, but so far I've not encountered anyone who had had trouble with me over that :)


Want to RP with me ? Shoot me a PM, but don't shoot me!


Thanks for visiting!

Most Recent Posts

In O R I F L A M M E → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Calendar calculation

Brief explanations

'/' denotes an integer division without considering the remainder

Examples
  • 5 / 5 = 1
  • 5 / 3 = 1, NOT 1.66666...7
  • 0 / 5 = 0
  • 5 / 0 = not allowed, as always :)


'%' denotes an integer division only considering the remainder ('modulo')

Examples
  • 0 % 5 = 0
  • 1 % 5 = 1
  • 2 % 5 = 2
  • 3 % 5 = 3
  • 4 % 5 = 4
  • 5 % 5 = 0
  • 6 % 5 = 1
  • 12 % 5 = 2

The formula

Assuming you want to know the honored aspect and deity x years after year 0, you can do the following calculations:

icycle = x / 5
iaspect = icycle % 4
ideity = icycle % 5
number = ((icycle / 20) * 5) + (x % 5) + 1

After this you only need to map the numbers iaspect and ideity to their respective names according to the following tables:

Aspects
0: Aun
1: Zept
2: Aun-Zept
3: n/a

Deities
0: Ipte
1: Shune
2: Oraff
3: Eshiran
4: Dami

Important notice: The calculation is currently limited to values for x >= 0. For negative numbers the whole math might break apart or yield wrong results (to be confirmed).

(Small) lookup table

As far as I know Excel is capable of the required mathematical calculations, so it should be easy to implement an automatic table. Just in case though I've already programmed a bit and created this table for you (can be expanded as necessary):

In Winds of Fate - A Thieves' Adventure (Semi-Tabletop) → 4 yrs ago Forum: Advanced Roleplay
Skarsat


So first of all Neh'miah had tried to get them all into lethal jeopardy by meddling in the affairs of people who apparently were way too important to the city for its sheriff to just ignore the matter. Then their beloved (or rather not so) Solange had tried to abandon them by doing what she so far had always done: caring about herself and only herself. Just to back up these efforts and for general good measure Maréngo was not hesitant to set up a fireworks that had serious potential to consume more than just its propellant, but at least did singe Skarsat's body hair as the rapidly spreading cloud of exquisite odour could tell. Still not enough danger around ? Apparently so because now he could also hear the unmistakable thunder of cannons fired along with some of the damage that caused to the dock's surroundings. Being all in the hands of some unknown sailors' accuracy in terms of aim was not a good feeling, so the Tork tried to make an even faster run for it.

Left shoulder, that was it! The most comfortable, or rather least hindering, position for a dead body to be carried. Good thing that Neh'miah obviously had been a rather lightly built man so he didn't slow things down that much, even though the dead thief's dangling legs and feet kept hitting Skarsat in his back as he rushed towards the gangway.

No! No! This could not be! Oh how cruel fate could be! First presenting the very possibility of one's most hated enemy stumbling over nothing less than the very piece of clothing she herself had chosen to wear no matter how utterly inappropriate it foreseeably had been, then taking said possibility away again like the carrot in front of the greedy horse desperate for food. Just how nice it would have been to see Solange drenched in oily, murky water crying out for anybody to pull her out of it -- everyone except for the sheriff's men, of course!

Now was that him accidentally hitting some kind of resonance frequency while running up the gangplank or did that wooden thing bend up and down that much under his steps even without ? Would have been another good way to send someone flying into the water if only he had been a lot faster, but now all that was left for him was the significant feeling of discomfort as the swaying motion made the contents of Skarsat's stomach hitting the top end of their container again and again, too.

Only once on board the ship and thus out of the most of trouble he noticed that there was something on Neh'miah's belt which was close to Skarsat's neck. A pouch of coins, and even a lot of those. Skarsat wrapped his hand around the small leather thing and pressed his fingers against it firmly. Noone would take that away, not until its contents had been split up evenly among the remaining members of their little... expedition.
In The Five Senses → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Týfurkh


"If everything works well you won't have to take them down!" Týfurkh shouted, although his voice was seriously muffled whenever not directly speaking through one of the holes Chres had deliberately left open. These... heat constructs... were one damn handy thing to have, that was for sure, and Týfurkh couldn't help but secretly admire the man who was able to weave them with such accuracy despite massive repetition again and again.

Not that anybody else in the party had lacked their skill or not proven to be of great benefit for them all so far. The question was: Would he be in the end, too ? All he could do was work on it! Týfurkh started moving his mouth, his colossal chest greedily consuming the air around him so he could let it pass through his vocal chords to form an invisible trap. Or was it even invisible to the sightless ? Maybe not, but Týfurkh could not care less at this point for it would still need the sightless to actually find out that 'it' would be able to prematurely trigger the spell by moving one of the tentacles into it, which in turn however would also mean that said tentacle would no longer be available for going after anybody else while being busy preventing another buildup to an explosion. So in any case they would win, would they ?

Týfurkh's hope was that the sightless indeed was not able to see what was going over its 'head' in the first place however, and the chance of any tentacle accidentally triggering the spell was pretty low for he had placed it not directly as deep in the hole as possible from his position, but on the contrary directly below the ceiling. The plan was for the shockwave to be reflected downwards by the massive stone and then having nowhere to go down in the hole, forcing any of its contents to go up sideways and upwards.

Yes, it was a very veritable mess he was approving. There were quite a few dead bodies down in that pit and these might come up as well, but what was the alternative ? Going into melee they'd have to even step onto them anyway!

Time almost seemed to slow down for Týfurkh despite the fact that no temporal magic was involved for certain. The moving tentacles started to blur in his vision more and more, their various impacts became less and less distinguishable from each other in his ears as he transferred as much of his mental capacity as he could onto weaving the trap. Maybe not having participated in the previous fight now would even pay off a bit, even if completely unintentionally, because he was not tired yet.

Ready! Týfurkh now just neeeded to set the thing off himself and the perfect tool for this was his crossbow and one of the holes in the shield to shoot through. He aimed at the ceiling knowing that he was going to blast through an invisible beehive full of what was basically sound beyond a deafening intensity.

"Cover!" he yelled, then pulled the trigger.
In The Mystery (WolfLover + Fetzen) → 4 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
It seemed at least some of the gods had chosen to abandon the capital, maybe even the entire kingdom. After a prolonged period of warmth and wealth rapidly growing on the peasants' fields there had been no such thing as benign weather for weeks on end. The many alleys with their rare trees brought here from far away lands, the many parks with their maticulously laid out stone patterns, hedges and flower patches had fallen dysfunctional in terms of public attention, and now were slowly but surely even doing so with regard to the botanic aspect as well. It just had become increasingly impossible to maintain them with the steady rain and thunderstorms.

Good thing the capital city was built on solid foundations! The founders had not chosen any treacherous field full of earth that would reveal itself as a swamp ready to devour any buildings on it if just watered long enough, and they had also not fallen victim to the temptation of cutting corners when it came to anything artificial that was beneath any inhabitant's feet: The elaborate network of channels, canals and reservoirs had proven to be up to the task, as least as of now. What the next days would bring ?

Valentin was not to find out, nor was the companion he had been assigned to but whom he had yet get to know in more detail. The two of them had been scheduled to arrive at the royal guard's main barracks this dreary morning -- and if there was anything the city guard was notorious for, then it was its punctuality, or rather the steady insistence on it whenever somebody outside their ranks had to deal with them for some reason.

The barracks themselves were in complete lack of the splendor many of the city's other official buildings were decorated with. A sturdy building of simple architecture, designed for mass housing with at least some comfort left. Could be a lot worse, but better also. Valentin had been told to just wait in the courtyard, a task that made him increasingly nervous as the next drill was soon to begin and he'd be left just standing in the middle of shouting, marching soldiers while doing absolutely nothing. Was he really that hard to miss ?
In O R I F L A M M E → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Interest Checks
I'd also be interested.
In The Five Senses → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Týfurkh


Týfurkh felt himself hating himself. Could this plan of his have worked out any better if he had done anything better or just planned with a little more intelligence in his head ? The fact that he could probably never give himself an answer to this question kept nagging at the man for just too many resources had been spent on the previous fight: Their last jade candle, the number of soliders who either had died or been wounded because he had been busy strapping his gear back one, the amount of time they had lost on a plan that had worked out for... half a minute maybe ?

He needed to concentrate on here and now even if that meant exposing his mind to what was euphemistically called 'the seed', blatantly ignoring the fact that a seed usually was a good thing while this was nothing but a monstrosity that surpassed pretty much anything even the most unreasonable experimenter could cook up in a laboratory. Except if he or she was with this cult, that was...

He did not want to end up as yet another corpse in this pit, not end up as nourishment for this aberration that sought after ultimate knowledge but had lost any reason on the first mile of its journey already. The small question was: How to stop it now that the level of uglyness and the number of tentacles roaming around had just doubled ?

This was a damn wine cellar! Wine was mostly water, so it didn't burn. Something burning however was what Týfurkh felt they needed. Maybe burning the corpses could starve the thing to death if they could just keep the willing servants away long enough ? Or was there another way to empty the feeding trough ? Having rushed into cover a fair bit away and hoping for everyone else to share this most instinctive reaction for the lack of obvious alternatives, Týfurkh shouted out to the others: "Gonna try and set up an explosion! This will be ugly!"

Easier said than done though for being in cover also meant that the very depth of the pit did not have a direct line of sight with him. He'd have to work his acoustic magic in a very well placed manner and as intensively as possible to have any effect...
In SANDSTRIDERS: A Lost Land → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Dalani


Just like the destructive jaws of a grappler crane, just a lot more miniature and unlike the latter in actual existence, Dalani's clawed fingers hovered over the small area of table all of his attention was focused on. People commonly believed that glass was a very well organized, crystalline miracle with a high degree of order on both the very small and the larger scale, but the truth was that it was chaos just like liquid water that had stopped moving because its internal bonds had become too strong anyway. It made merging the stuff actually easier, at least on the tiny scale of things Dalani could only see by means of magic.

Strictly macrosopically speaking however it was still a daunting task to drop each and every single shard into a position that would preserve the bottle's overall shape. One misaligned piece and none of its successors would fit properly anymore -- and it appeared the tavern was becoming more vibrant by the second. What was going on ?

Dalani raised his head and looked over the boy that was accompanying him towards the counter. The hefty male was hard to overlook, but even more so the crude exclamations from the patrons behind his back were hard to overhear. These primitive people! And then the guards arrived and happily picked up on the overall situation. It was apparent that the big, elderly man's moments in this tavern were already counted, but what Dalani did not expect was for them to end with such a beating quite literally.

"Please go back to your parents for a moment, will you ?" Happily the boy had been sitting with the back towards the worst of the scene, so maybe the child's eyes had been spared some of the bloody spectacle. Dalani did not even want to know at this point however whether the boy's parents had been part of those patrons asking for this. Afraid of the answer ? Probably, yes. But also lucky to have been spared of that sight, too.

The Ayiralite approached the two soldiers who seemed rather confident in having done a good job, something he hoped to change: "My sincere thanks for getting this man out and caring about this place's atmosphere." he introduced himself not trying to tear down the door right away.

"It is important to keep the filth out, but..." His voice remained calm and halfway friendly, but his tongue right now was nowhere near reflecting his real thoughts about what had just happened. "... would you mind turning your eyes towards your most immediate surroundings ?

Dalani's arm reached out as if to embrace all the bloody dirt on the way from his current position to the beaded curtains and beyond and sure he could and maybe even would have taken care of that all for himself, but only if there had not been two disciplined and able-bodied men who'd certainly be willing to listen to someone who was much closer to their beloved Maatrho than their humble human self could ever hope for, right ?

"Do you think it will do any good to this business' income if its customers' feet are denied to tread on these refreshingly cold, beautifully laid glazed tiles with their marvelous red-brown color, but instead have to avoid the occasional tooth that might otherwise punch into their skin and give back the extra bit of grip they might be missing due to all the... blood-red lubrication on the ground ?" More serious than before, he continued: "You think the Maatrho would approve of such a thing impairing the economy of his kingdom when there's such a simple fix available ? I believe it's called 'a rag in your hand'!"

With this being Dalani's last words, he left the guards to their own devices and returned to his table only to scoop up all the glass in the partly reassembled state it was and dump it into his bag a little less carefully than would have been appropriate for that kind of stuff. One last smile to the boy and the Ayiralite shoved aside the beaded curtain quite vigorously so he could start following this tavern's most recent... advertisement... on the ground.

Whether the guards would be sensible enough to try and clean up this mess outside as well ? He had little hope, but it would be fun if they did because he planned to go where any cleaning effort would have to go as well and that was the elderly man who had been treated so miserably.

In Winds of Fate - A Thieves' Adventure (Semi-Tabletop) → 4 yrs ago Forum: Advanced Roleplay
Skarsat


From his position behind the cart, Skarsat had not so much insight into about where the whole cart was heading towards. His vision was blocked by empty containers, jars full of alchemist's fire, barrels serving as wooden wrappers for selfish bandits who had had enough bad luck not only for themselves but for the whole lot of people as well, and two other individuals whose uselessness had already been ascertained in the female and -- fortunately! -- not yet proven or disproven in the male case. Right now both of them made the effort of pushing only more difficult, only feeding Skarsat's desire to leave the job of steering in the hands of those who actually were in control of the pair of wheels that could turn.

Skarsat's ongoing thoughts shattered to pieces as he felt and heard something whizzing right through the gap between his arm and body as if through an almost ridiculously small archway. The barrel it hit, to use less harmful words, structurally failed and revealed its content just as the latter made the ultimate transition from life to death. In the brief moment before their mule's shriek announced the end of their short drive, Skarsat could see into Neh'miah's eyes. They were wide open almost as if the thief had seen that shot coming which, of course, was a thing of impossibility. Maybe the result of one last, uncontrolled stimulus as nerves had been severed and pushed aside by shattered bones ? The grotesque statue the man had been reduced to toppled over and landed on the ground butt-first as the cart veered to the right onto a collision course, the lethal bolt still sticking out at the back of the head and the front of the dislocated jaw.

"Get yer arse down, ye fecking hefty oaf...! Yer gonna get ye fecking head shot off!"

Y'Vanna's heavy accent brought Skarsat's attention back to the fact that difficulties had just begun. Not sitting on the cart had spared him from the worst of the impact, but he was still blatantly exposed indeed! The Tork man's shadow engulfed Y'Vanna for a fraction of a second as he jumped over the cart's remains, landing next to the woman with one massive noise.

"Get your driving skills up!" he snapped back at her, adding "And keep your head away from the cart. These crossbows are strong!" If one of those bolts could punch trough a barrel, it could probably also get quite a bit through the wooden boards in front of them and hit anybody who did not keep some fair bit of air between them and himself.

Skarsat was well aware of his new investment being slung right over his shoulder and just waiting for a first use. Space was quite an issue for a big man big bow combination if one had to remain covered for the sake of staying alive, but even more so would it be an issue for him to try and get to the shit without any of those four trained soldiers hitting him. It had almost worked before already... Perching on the dock's dirt and making his height as insignificant as possible, Skarsat readied his weapon and tried to make an educated guess about one of sheriff's men rough position by sound. He did not dare to raise his head above the cart's frame until he really had to for one quick, final correction of his aim.

And only as he was about to do that he noticed what their crazy madwoman was doing... This Solange dared to search and loot the shit out of their dead comrades while under fire! Now would she at least offer to share the spoils or would she keep everything to herself ? Hell why did he even wonder... However, just as much as Skarsat felt his profound aversion towards her refueled by her actions, he also found them to be quite useful for himself. The Sheriff's bowmen would probably pay less attention to him taking his final aim while looking -- or perferably just shooting at -- Solange's nice butt making a run for it, would they ?

The broadhead arrow cut through the air with a hissing noise. Skarsat really would have preferred to just kill Gerranti and thereby take the head of the snake instead of just cutting away a small slice of its tail, but Gerranti was in cover and one ranged fighter less still improved everyone's odds. So the individual hit was one of those with a crossbow just as the soldier got his hand off the crank. The man's breakfast was to suddenly find a second exit from his guts along with large quantities of blood as the armor had only provided insufficient protection against the broadhead. Gerranti's subordinate collapsed almost instantly and frantically pressed his hands against the disturbingly large arrow and its entry wound, but a few seconds later the cries became fewer and quieter already. So that was one quarter of the most immediate threat eliminated.

Still three quarters left though and they were running out of time as the melee fraction of Gerranti's men would certainly not wait forever until closing in. They had to get away from here and now there were three not only halfway disciplined, but also very angry shooters just waiting for anyone to come out of the cart's cover. The ship was just too far away for a mad dash, it would have to be a lunatic's dash!

That was, unless...

Skarsat's eyes wandered towards one of the cart's wheels that looked a bit dislocated as if its axle had partially cracked. To his delight he noticed that these were not some of those more delicate hub and spoke weels, but made by a much more primitive and heavy-duty design comprised of thick wooden boards bolted to each other in separate layers and ultimately carved into their final, round shape. That could work, at least for one of them! The Tork crawled towards the piece of equipment and did his best to complete the damage, yanking it off the axle's remains and figuring out how to get a good hold on it without exposing his fingers on the other side too much.

That was one very makeshift shield, but still a lot better than nothing and probably sufficient to protect him while moving ducked and someone much smaller than him while running. He'd only need it for one thing before handing it over to Y'Vanna and that was reaching Neh'miah's body. Searching it for the pricey stuff like that vulture called Solange ? Never! There were more speedy options available to extract any of the coins or other valuables the poor man had been carrying, options that even would preserve the chance to give the fellow anything similar to a proper burial at sea. And of course he'd be able to put it between him and the guards as a larger, thicker, softer version of a shield for himself while Y'Vanna used the wheel. Given the mess that Neh'miah's head had been turned into it would take an incrediby bad strike of luck to desecrate it any worse than the city's officials would, would it ?

"Y'Vanna ? Give me cover and tell me when at least some of them are reloading again!"

But... now what! Explosions ? Smoke ? There were too many weird things going off for Skarsat's poor mind to understand simultaneously... Now if he could only wait for the smoke to become the thickest and then get this body...

In Old Glory: Land of Opportunity (Post Apoc Dungeon Diving) → 4 yrs ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
In Winds of Fate - A Thieves' Adventure (Semi-Tabletop) → 4 yrs ago Forum: Advanced Roleplay
Skarsat


Skarsat had already felt the itch on the back of his hand to clench his fist and to liberate all of the poor air around that was imprisoned in a space without Neh'miah, without any chance to see the marvelous inside of the glorious man's nostrils ever again. It would have been a quick and easy move to ram a breathing hole into the wooden barrel and, while some people around them might have wondered about why he did this, none of them would have had the authority or even just the bare means to stop them due to any kind of upcoming suspicion.

The bar had been raised, however. A lot.

Skarsat was not in the cart with the others, but walked next and halfway behind it and did not care much about the busy market behind him he had already seen inside out. So the sheriff's men approaching them from that direction did go undetected by his attention initially, but either the booze had not yet left Solange's system in sufficient quantity and she was talking utter bullshit, or they had a problem. His gaze turned towards her and maybe she could see that, maybe for the first time ever, he was actually taking her seriously and not as the unscrupulous bitch she was already marked down as in his mind. What she said made just too much sense.

That brief moment of appreciation was likely doomed to remain the only one of its kind this morning however as the Tork man realized that Solange, despite her mouth actually making useful noise for a change, still was yet another ass aside Neh'miah's that did not help move things forward. Skarsat's eyes wandered towards Maréngo and quickly deduced from the man's obvious lack of engagement to get himself going instead of talking that the pirate would not be of much help either. Now could at least that new pet of him take off and help pushing ?

Of course Pyka didn't...

Skarsat considered whether he should spare himself the effort and claim that suddenly going to higher speeds would only shed the spotlight on them while it was not yet ascertained that the sheriff's men were actually looking for Neh'miah and knew he was with them, but it was a false hope. This thief had stolen some important stuff, but even more so he was now stealing all of their neves! And so Skarsat's hands reached for the sides of the cart as he positioned himself right behind it, his body leaning forward more and more and his feet digging into the ground and trying to find some grip on whatever protruding cobblestone he could find. Maybe it was a bit of a start too flamboyant as Y'Vanna's feet now were in serious danger of being rammed into the mule's dirty rear as long as the latter's speed wasn't synchronized with the cart again, but Skarsat could hardly care less.

They were in danger, and so was his chance of proving that he was not the annoying, useless, ludicrously oversized foreigner refusing to endulge himself in the local supply of vine for it now were exactly these properties that seemed to make him the perfect choice for making that thing go faster as requested! Just knowing that those who had tried to screw him would now be screwed without him was such a morale boost...

Awareness roll
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