@6slyboy6
Make me the lich no balls won't do it.
Make me the lich no balls won't do it.
Gardevoiran Member
The Forbidden One
- Last Seen: 2 yrs ago
- Joined: 10 yrs ago
- Posts: 3231 (0.85 / day)
- VMs: 0
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Username history
- Gardevoiran 9 yrs ago
- ██████ 10 yrs ago
Status
Recent Statuses
7 yrs ago
Who here likes cuddles?
9
likes
7 yrs ago
If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7
likes
8 yrs ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
4
likes
8 yrs ago
How do wing.
8 yrs ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
3
likes
Bio
Well hello.
I guess I should introduce myself, huh.
I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.
I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.
I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.
I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."
Most Recent Posts
@KRIEEEG
The real question is who could win in a fight, Stride or Grox?
The real question is who could win in a fight, Stride or Grox?
"The job is rather simple actually. We go to where a certain artifact is kept, we kill anyone trying to take it, then we grab it and run our asses back to our employer before we die on this quest. I'm assuming you're coming along with us?"
Stride spit again. This curse was annoying as shit.
"In that case, I'll tell you about the rest of our squad as it currently stands. I'm the squads resident mage and a bit of a summoner on the side, Grox has a giant... quaggoth, I think it's called, as a sort of mount. We have an ogre who is remisque of being a paladin, and that's all I know of so far. Oh, and should I mention one other thing..."
Stride spat one final time in the cup, knocking it over and onto the floor.
"Try to kill me and I will tear off your bloody legs one by one, then forcefully feed them to you from your arsehole, shoving them in 2 at a time."
Westley leaned back in his chair and spoke again.
"With that out of the way, what are you packing in terms of power, my arachnid ally?"
Over at the blacksmiths shop, the UFO began speaking to the short little goblin in the same voice.
>: I AM THE SUMMON OF MY MASTER 'STRIDE'. TO GET IN ON THIS MISSION, FOLLOW THIS OGRE TO THE INN WHERE MY MASTER AND GROX ARE LOCATED. TAKING ME APART WILL ALSO PROVIDE NO PARTS, AS I FADE AWAY AFTER BEING DAMAGED ENOUGH OVER TIME.
Stride spit again. This curse was annoying as shit.
"In that case, I'll tell you about the rest of our squad as it currently stands. I'm the squads resident mage and a bit of a summoner on the side, Grox has a giant... quaggoth, I think it's called, as a sort of mount. We have an ogre who is remisque of being a paladin, and that's all I know of so far. Oh, and should I mention one other thing..."
Stride spat one final time in the cup, knocking it over and onto the floor.
"Try to kill me and I will tear off your bloody legs one by one, then forcefully feed them to you from your arsehole, shoving them in 2 at a time."
Westley leaned back in his chair and spoke again.
"With that out of the way, what are you packing in terms of power, my arachnid ally?"
Over at the blacksmiths shop, the UFO began speaking to the short little goblin in the same voice.
>: I AM THE SUMMON OF MY MASTER 'STRIDE'. TO GET IN ON THIS MISSION, FOLLOW THIS OGRE TO THE INN WHERE MY MASTER AND GROX ARE LOCATED. TAKING ME APART WILL ALSO PROVIDE NO PARTS, AS I FADE AWAY AFTER BEING DAMAGED ENOUGH OVER TIME.
@KRIEEEG
I'll wait for the full party, but for right now Stride has claimed leadership, especially considering he's the smartest one of the bunch right now, and that the only other one present is drunk off his ass.
I'll wait for the full party, but for right now Stride has claimed leadership, especially considering he's the smartest one of the bunch right now, and that the only other one present is drunk off his ass.
@KRIEEEG
True, while we are too civilized to decide in the OC, in the IC we aren't all together yet, so a vote would be near impossible to do.
*sips tea*
True, while we are too civilized to decide in the OC, in the IC we aren't all together yet, so a vote would be near impossible to do.
*sips tea*
Doing a bit of plot progression.
Anyone have any issues with Westley being the current leader of the party until we get the full squad together to take a vote?
Anyone have any issues with Westley being the current leader of the party until we get the full squad together to take a vote?
Westley saw the very large spider walk up to the duo of associates and, much to the surprise of him, began to see Grox start to get a little antsy. Poor bastard must be afraid of spiders, although that's quite a common fear. The spider spoke to them in a rather unsettling tone.
"Well met, gentle-monsters! Are you in need of anything this lous- vely city has to offer? Some fine working-hands, perhaps? Fresh, obedient, cheaper by the dozen. Just say the word."
Westley leaned over and whispered in Grox's ear. "I'll do the talking, you be ready for a fight if one breaks out." Westley then began speaking to the spider, but first spitting in the tankard so his voice wasn't muffled or garbled.
"Excuse me, I've been cursed to drool excessively, much to my dismay. Allow me to introduce myself to you. You can call me Stride, and this here is Grox, my..."
Westley actually considered what Grox was in this little rag-tag band of misfits he called his team, then he considered that Grox and him were at Yashar's tower first, so he figured they'd probably be this teams interim 'leaders' for the current moment.
"... first mate. We were recently assigned a job by an old mage in the tallest fucking tower in this goddamn cesspool of a city, and for right now we're waiting on the other members of our bloody squad. Enough about that, however. You said something about working hands...? Honestly, mate, the way you worded that makes me think that you're running a slave trade underneath this here inn. Now, I can hand you into the local authorities and have them deal with you (provided there are any even here), or I can extend an offer to you..."
Westley spit in the tankard again before continuing.
"... how about you join our little team of misfit mercenaries? I understand you have no idea who I am or who this orc is, but I can promise you that you will get a good time out of this, in addition to a reward which was told to us by our employer to be near limitless."
Stride spit one final time in the tankard, making it reach almost 3/4ths of the way filled.
"You in?"
Over at the blacksmith, Stride's UFO flew into the workshop, a small note attached to it with the words 'Not a threat'. It hovered beside Tugrok and began to speak.
>: I HAVE ORDERS FROM MY SUMMONER TO ASSIST YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN, UNTIL WE GET TO THE INN WHERE HE AND GROX ARE CURRENTLY LOCATED.
"Well met, gentle-monsters! Are you in need of anything this lous- vely city has to offer? Some fine working-hands, perhaps? Fresh, obedient, cheaper by the dozen. Just say the word."
Westley leaned over and whispered in Grox's ear. "I'll do the talking, you be ready for a fight if one breaks out." Westley then began speaking to the spider, but first spitting in the tankard so his voice wasn't muffled or garbled.
"Excuse me, I've been cursed to drool excessively, much to my dismay. Allow me to introduce myself to you. You can call me Stride, and this here is Grox, my..."
Westley actually considered what Grox was in this little rag-tag band of misfits he called his team, then he considered that Grox and him were at Yashar's tower first, so he figured they'd probably be this teams interim 'leaders' for the current moment.
"... first mate. We were recently assigned a job by an old mage in the tallest fucking tower in this goddamn cesspool of a city, and for right now we're waiting on the other members of our bloody squad. Enough about that, however. You said something about working hands...? Honestly, mate, the way you worded that makes me think that you're running a slave trade underneath this here inn. Now, I can hand you into the local authorities and have them deal with you (provided there are any even here), or I can extend an offer to you..."
Westley spit in the tankard again before continuing.
"... how about you join our little team of misfit mercenaries? I understand you have no idea who I am or who this orc is, but I can promise you that you will get a good time out of this, in addition to a reward which was told to us by our employer to be near limitless."
Stride spit one final time in the tankard, making it reach almost 3/4ths of the way filled.
"You in?"
Over at the blacksmith, Stride's UFO flew into the workshop, a small note attached to it with the words 'Not a threat'. It hovered beside Tugrok and began to speak.
>: I HAVE ORDERS FROM MY SUMMONER TO ASSIST YOU IN ANY WAY I CAN, UNTIL WE GET TO THE INN WHERE HE AND GROX ARE CURRENTLY LOCATED.
@KRIEEEG
Nah, I had an idea for a side affect of that curse to be "if decapitated, head becomes the first thing the neck collides with."
Either way, someone get this man to a healer afterwards so they can actually assess the situation.
Nah, I had an idea for a side affect of that curse to be "if decapitated, head becomes the first thing the neck collides with."
Either way, someone get this man to a healer afterwards so they can actually assess the situation.
I vote we call our group "The Bomb Squad".
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