Recent Statuses

11 hrs ago
Current If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7 mos ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
10 mos ago
How do wing.
11 mos ago
You know what's awful? Drawing a resting place for your character. You know what's worse? That same character dying from the setting the same day you drew it. GG Lazo. No hard feelings.
1 yr ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.


Well hello.

I guess I should introduce myself, huh.

I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.

I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.

I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.

I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.

"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."

Most Recent Posts

"Oh jeez! Sorry about that, buddy!" Skylar apologized, patting Seabreeze on the head as the Wingull looked towards the pond, diving down into it to try and wash out the awful taste in his mouth. Skylar felt really bad for the bird, but there wasn't much he could do. He still had the herbs in his possession, though, and he was certainly keeping them in case of a pinch. They did heal up his Pokemon, but it didn't exactly work out as well as he had thought.

Earl explained why he had been in the woods, and told about his plight to find the horned Pokemon of the woods. Skylar admired that, and rightfully responded. "I feel that. I'm trying to become the best flying type trainer in the region myself. Hopefully I can get the attention of one of the legendary flying-type Pokemon in the region." Skylar placed a hand on his hip as Seabreeze came flying back up, landing in Skylar's hair and... making the boy wet. He didn't mind that, though.

Earl asked about Vivia next. "Oh, Vivia? She's new to this too, heck, she was even my first battle! She lost, but she still gave it her all with her team. She's really cool. We're traveling together for right now, since we're both kinda new."

Skylar smiled and waved at Vivia before turning back to Earl. "So what is the mystical Pokemon you're speaking of? I've just looked for a lot of flying Pokemon since I've been in this forest, but a mystical Pokemon like that would be super cool to see."

Celebrity was busy looking at Venonat while all of this was going on, and was upset at the jealous poison type, especially since it made the pats stop! Celebrity was not having that, and simply frowned at the bug-eyed brat.

Digbie tilted his head with a smile as he saw the Rubber Frog. "Well, aren't you kinda cute..." He was excited to try and tame this beast, but then something else caught his eye. As if on cue when he prayed, moles from under the Earth thought it'd be cool to guide him towards the mountains. Clearly, something out there wanted to show him something, and from the looks of things, it was something rather important.

But then, he heard the horn, and his focus was shifted to the goblins that approached him.

They stated who they were, part of the... Broke Tower Tribe? Gods, sometimes the intellect of these goblins made him sick. Regardless, they seemed pretty threatening to the lone Demiblin until they got down on their knees and started bowing to him. They said something about how they needed- no, wanted- him to join their ranks and become a member of their tribe, going on about how he was the "Great Demi-blin". On one hand, the feeling of being superior to some people was nice, but on the other, this seemed really sketchy.

Oh well, time to try some of that social engineering his friend from Old Earth told him about.

"Rags Nar," Digbie began. To clear some things up, those 'pets' are my friends, and you guys gots some nerve, showin' up here without so much as an offerin' for my friendship!" Digbie's voice shifted to a more barbaric style. He didn't want to confuse these goblins with his big words., plus he needed to make himself sound convincing. "Still, you guys have my attention! If you want me to come and help, you'll abide by MY two demands! First, you tell me why you have come to receive my aid, and second, you come back here tomorrow, and bring one of these 'perty wimmin' with you, so I may have someone to raise under my wing!"

"Do these two things, and I'll come and see if you truly need my aid tomorrow!"

While he was speaking to the goblins, Digbie was sizing up Rags Nar with {Analysis}, seeing if he was a real threat or a dog with more bark than bite.

Aw jeez, I guess I should get in on this train. I got a lot of love to share, though, so prepare for a wall.

@Old Amsterdam You rock. Seriously. I'd go through a list but I'm pretty sure I'd hit the character limit for this post. Thanks for the help with my personal issues and stuff, you're probably my best friend, and I'm sorry that I'm not the best at reading crucial details.

@ProPro You're a fantastic GM and I seriously love being in your games. Don't change, and keep being awesome.

@BCTheEntity Your posts are awesome, you're pretty reasonable and analytical about situations, and I think you're super dope in the settings that we have characters in. Also keep being awesome.

@floodtalon Past aside, your characters are all a different brand of entertaining and chaotic, but incredibly fun to interact with and watch for their antics. You're dope as hell.

@LemonZest1337 ˙ʎʇsoɹɟ ʎɐʇS ˙sɹǝʇɔɐɹɐɥɔ ɹno ɥʇᴉʍ uo ƃuᴉoƃ ǝɹ,ǝʍ ʇɐɥʇ ǝpᴉɹ ǝɥʇ ƃuᴉʎoɾuǝ ɐllǝɥ ɯ,I puɐ 'ɥʇᴉʍ punoɹɐ ssǝɯ oʇ unɟ ʇɐǝɹƃ llɐ ǝɹɐ sɹǝʇɔɐɹɐɥɔ ɹnoʎ 'ǝᴉssnɐ ʎllᴉs noʎ ǝɹǝɥ ʞoo˥
(god that's super hard to read)
@POOHEAD189 I'm having tons of fun in Maroleth, even if my posts aren't the greatest up there (thats probably a tie between TFF and BC). Thanks for being a great GM.

@The Fated Fallen Thanks for the shoutout, and thanks for being an amazing mage in Maroleth. You make good posts, and I'm enjoying the shit out of them.

@Guy0fV4lor You're a fokkin' memester and I love it. Jason and Digbie should've totally just grouped up and worked towards being Earth Gods or something in Demon King's True Heroes. Stay spicy.

@Rune_Alchemist Your characters are incredibly charming, whether it's Ash being a crotchety old lizard or Claire being a fiery diva. Super great, and you should stay that way, too.

@PlatinumSkink You're cool, a good GM, a great player, and a nice friend. What more could I deserve? Thank ye.

@Eklispe You're sarcastic as hell and that's something that I admire, even if it makes me want to pull my hair out sometimes. Don't stop being yourself, my guy.

@solokolos You know loads more about Discord, Worm, League, and like 5 other things than me, and even without that, your jokes bring a smile to my face when it's been a blue day.

@Crossfire Even though a setting might've been kinda bad, thanks for giving me a second chance as a Co-GM and being a generally cool dude as we gush about things in our Discord PMs. I'm havin' a ton of fun.

@iTem Matija is indescribable with how you play her, and she's such a colorful character I could probably write a small paper about her. Thanks for being a great dude and better player.

@yoshua171 You and Cel are super amazing, and I'd mention her here too if I could remember how to spell her name (whoops). Keep being knowledgeable on Worm, good luck on future endeavors, and thanks for putting up with my crap.

@Lucius Cypher So maybe we haven't interacted a ton, but you're still cool as hell and please stay cool as hell.

@Crusader Lord You might be a faulty cruise missile, but you still got that Lordship for a reason. Keep up the good posts.

@Skinner35@Turbowraith I don't even know if you guys'll be able to see this, but you're dope and I want you to stay dope, so stay dope.

[@anyone i forgot in the process of making this post] Thank you for putting up with my idiocy throughout my time on the guild, and I'm sorry I'm a pain in the ass and forgot you while making this post.

Alright I'm gonna go watch something to turn back into my standard mentality. Thanks everyone, and I'll see ya around.

EDIT : @Belladonna I guess it's fitting to say that I'm sorry I forgot you especially. You're great, and I didn't want you to be left out. My Discord DMs are always open for a nice chat with you. :)
The Wards


Mastar felt her body get flung back by the force of Protean's punch, her legs failing to keep her on the ground as she actually picked up a bit of air time. As her body reconnected with the floor, however, it quickly became more elastic as Mastar liquefied herself, forming back into the familiar body when there was a safe chance to do so. This guy was a pretty tough customer, that was sure. One of those punches could easily spell total disaster for her. She felt the heat, no doubt if a punch connected she'd catch on fire.

At least until Tulpa's projection managed to pull out something to get the nasty blasts out of the picture, Mastar stood back up and dusted herself off in her standard fashion. She was thinking about what she could do. Lobbing shots wasn't much of an option, considering that he could probably easily dodge around the shots... wait a tick, maybe it was a good idea to lob some shots. Maybe she could turn the tide of the battle into the Ward's favor and render the thing she was afraid of useless...

"Here's hoping, lovelies. Cover me!" Mastar smiled and prepared some shots in her hand, Just in case shit hit the fan, she was prepared to turn around. She took a deep breath, and darted forward, chucking two blobs of her sticky and flammable tar at Protean, but not at his mouth. She was aiming for something that was a bit more problematic for the ex-hero, and with her practice as a vigilante, she was confident in her aim.

His claws.

If he tried to punch with tarry claws, he'd set himself on fire, not to mention have a harder time actually winding up for the punch. The biggest risk here was that Mastar was getting a little close, but with the projection defending her as best as it could to Mastar being ready to flee from a blast, she wasn't too terribly worried.

Too, terribly worried. She was still absolutely fucking scared.


"Why do they make you teach biology so much when you have a high degree in theoretical physics?" Eve asked before snickering. "Heh, maybe it has something to do with how I can fly so fast when I shouldn't be able to!" Eve chomped a bit of her bacon before looking up at the clock and smiling hard.

9:15. The post office is opening in 15 minutes.

"Shoot, I gotta get going if I'm gonna beat the line!" Eve said as she began shoveling food into her mouth, finishing it... alarmingly fast. Hell, she even ate all of the eggs! She never did that unless she was excited! After quickly placing her plate in the sink, Eve ran back into her room to get properly ready for the day. She threw on her hero outfit, fastening everything tightly on her, before grabbing her fireproof bag with her everyday clothes in it. She ran back into the kitchen after, grabbing her mask out of the third drawer on the left of the cabinet (right next to the junk drawer), before running back over to her dad and hugging him tightly.

"I'll call ya and let you know what's the deal after I get my mail. Have fun teaching those classes." She took a few steps towards the window, opened it, and lit her back on fire, fastening her mask to her face all the while.

"Love ya, pops!"

And with that, she threw herself out the window, and immediately began to soar into the open sky, completely cloaked in flames.

Digbie sighed when he got the analysis of the skin, pushing it outside of the shelter he made before standing upright once again, stepping out of his earthen shelter with his knees shaking, his eyes quickly shifting around between various clouds in the sky and the cut mountain. He was incredibly worried about things, what with the mountain LITERALLY EXPLODING BEHIND THEM! Heck! He felt like he heard an avalanche or rock-slide coming down towards them! Thank God when he looked he was pretty certain that the avalanche wasn't coming towards them.

The demiblin finally worked up the courage to speak to the group, shyly looking down. "Err... the skin is useless. I checked it already, and it's literally Worthless quality." Digbie scratched his arm, waiting for {Earth Vein} to give him the full restore he was looking for. "If you still wanna try using it, you can. I-I think I'm gonna go and... uh... try to make friends with one of those Rubber Frogs."

The demiblin shuffled over to the stream and sat down, looking at one of the only remaining Rubber Frogs in the area and using {Analysis} to get an overall check on the Rubber Frog. Simultaneously, he decided to continue filling up his MP with Earth Vein, wanting to get topped off.

Then, a very risky idea came upon him. If he couldn't pray to a certain person... could he seek wisdom and guidance from someone else?

"U-uh... is there an Earth God I can look to? I-I'd like to ask for guidance from them." Digbie poked his fingers together in anticipation, a little scared of what might happen. "... o-or a Magical Aspect of Earth or something... anyone... just something to help guide me...?"

Skylar tilted his head at the herbs in Earl's hand, and shrugged to himself before he stuck his hand out and tried to grab them. After missing the first time, Skylar managed to grab hold of them and place a few in his bag. "Sorry... I'm incredibly blind."

Skylar accepted the Mysterious Herbs!

He, of course, left two herbs out. One for Seabreeze and one for Celebrity. Since he couldn't get down there to give one to Celebrity right now, he just settled for passing one to Seabreeze, who gobbled it after giving a hesitant sniff before flying up into Skylar's hair again. Now all there was to do was wait for the effects to kick in. While they waited, however, Skylar looked at Earl and had to ask another question. "So what'cha doin' way out here, Earl?"

Celebrity was still enjoying the pats, if not loving them more, since there was a visible smile on her face that she was trying to hide from Vivia. It was failing spectacularly, however, as the purrs became more audible. After a few moments more of trying to hold back the smile, Celebrity simply caved in. "Jiiiigglyyyy~"

"Not particularly. I was just wonderin' who lived way out here." Skylar cheerily said as he offered his hand to the new boy. "I'm Skylar. Started my adventure earlier today, actually, and I wanted to see what the deal was out here." Whether the kid took Skylar's hand or not was up to him, but in any case, Skylar held out his other arm and called out to a particular bird. "Seabreeze! C'mere pal!"

As if on cue, Seabreeze dove under the water in the pond and emerged, flying upwards towards Skylar before planting himself right on the trainer's arm. He was a little wet, but that wasn't any problem since Skylar didn't have any sleeves. "Wingull?"

"This is Seabreeze, he was the first buddy I met today!" Skylar patted his companion's head before turning to the pond and smiling. "He's pretty useful, and just adorable!"

There was the question in the air of if the kid wanted a battle that Skylar decided to finally answer completely. "Oh, and it's not that I don't want to battle, my team just isn't in the best shape right now. A few of the critters around here roughed us up, but I'm sure you'd understand, right..." Shoot, Skylar! You didn't even know this kid's name. "... I just realized I never got your name."

Celebrity, meanwhile, was responding to the pats that Vivia was giving with slightly mixed signals. On one hand, the furrowed frown and bashful appearance of Celebrity made it seem like the Jigglypuff wasn't willing to admit she enjoyed them, but on the other... the audible purr coming from the puffball was enough to convince anyone she was enjoying it.

Apart from Celebrity and Seabreeze, Paradise was just enjoying the sunbeams that soaked down from beyond the leafy roof of the forest. Heck, she even decided to take a seat and relax for a moment. After all, carrying a kid wasn't the easiest task when your only tool for lifting him was your neck!


"I slept like a boulder... crap, hang on..." Eve excused herself quickly as she ran back into her room, grabbing a pair of shorts from the pile of clean clothes she kept on her bed, running back into the kitchen while sliding them over her legs. She knew her dad didn't like her wearing not much around the house, so she figured she'd make an effort at least once to try to make him a little more comfortable around the house. "Sorry, forgot you weren't a fan of me not wearing pants around here."

She sat down at the table and picked up a small piece of bacon, talking before she ate. "No interviews today. I need to do a little coding for the website though after I'm done at the Post Office. I should be hearing back from my job prospects, so hopefully there are some letters in my box." She took a bite, chewed, and let out a small sigh. "Though, a self-igniting harpy isn't something most people would necessarily want in a business. Though, when they need a hero, they definitely want me to be there." Eve looked out the window before shrugging. "Eh, it's okay. As long as I'm accepted somehow." Her tone considerably shifted there as she looked back at her father.

"What about you?" she started. "What do you have going on today?"
Lorenzo of Windor

"I'd applaud you, old man, but unfortunately I'm a bit bogged down!" Lorenzo shouted as he lead the dog along the paths he saw ahead of the group. The hound the group was riding on was fine for the moment, knowing it's own path to the light fairly well. That is, until the path ahead started to fade from the hound's memory. It began to branch out into arcing and winding paths, only for the dog to slowly grow more and more confused. It seemed to know the general direction of where to go, but it was as if it wasn't exactly sure what direction that consistently was.

Lorenzo patted the beast on it's head before taking the true lead away from the mount, looking at the paths for multiple moments each before deciding on the path based on two conditions. It's speed as the primary condition, and it's roughness as a secondary one. Lorenzo took a deep breath before whistling out loud to the hound, causing the beast to perk it's ears up in attention, and allowing Lorenzo to guide it with a pat. The first pat directed the dog slightly to the right, through a slightly narrow, yet rather easygoing path. It wasn't the most direct, but it was a quick route for advancing.

Lorenzo turned to the rest of his crew. "What in the name of Hell do you call that beast?!"
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