If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7
likes
8 yrs ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
4
likes
8 yrs ago
How do wing.
8 yrs ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
3
likes
Bio
Well hello.
I guess I should introduce myself, huh.
I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.
I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.
I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.
I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?" "Lean beef."
As Ruben was finishing his meal, he heard a loud shot from his computer. It seemed that it was time to follow behind these guys. His drone stopped recording as it quickly proceeded to where the shot came from. It very soon reached where it heard the gunshot, which was unsurprisingly the shooting range. Surprisingly, it has only one person in it. An idea cracked in Ruben's head as he controlled the eye to find the easiest escape route leaving the vents and entering that room. Unsurprisingly, his drone ran into an empty room and proceeded to bash the vent cover until it came off, allowing the drone to enter the facility. Hopefully nobody heard that...
The drone proceeded to sneak into the shooting range, where one of the female Wards members was situated, firing an M1911 issue standard handgun. Hopefully she would react calmly to The Eye's presence. The drone flew above the girl and connected to her earpiece while Ruben grabbed his helmet. "Let's hope I'm lucky here." whispered Ruben as he dawned the sweet freedom of his alias. One it was on, his helmet's microphone automatically powered up and was ready to speak into.
"Hey... um... how're you doing my friend?" How do you interact with people again? It'd been a while.
@Oraculum This is the best team. Totally not fodder.
I'm gonna recap it for you. - A currently dead but soon-to-be-revived half-elf wizard. - A giant fucking spider and his pet. - A skeleton that fucks shit. - An orc with a nuclear ride. - A goblin inventor who can create the *best* shit. - and an ogre paladin.
Not to mention we have a wagon that has a cannon which shoots sound that fucks everything up and the cannon itself is made out of a head.
Name: Jameson Privy Age: 36 (Humanly speaking) Gender: Male Race: Etlocks Appearance: Jameson is a younger Etlocks man, cursed with dwarfism so he's about 3'11". His facial features include a large black beard, coming down to the bottom of his neck, he wears a top hat, and has a long tattoo on the side of his face. His body structure is of course, short, but it's very resilient from damage. He is built like a truck, and made to last a while. His clothing includes a hooded cloak atop a button-up white shirt, and a pair of khaki trousers.
Privy was rather doomed from the start, as he was born very short and was ridiculed by any and all of his companions and colleagues. The first day of school was tough when you're a short kid, and nobody really liked how he was so secretive and shy. This continued for the man until he reached a maturation point, where he discovered that he can cast his fair share of magic. This enlightened his life and he went to learn how to cast more and more spells, eventually leading to recognition as a mage. Unfortunately, his luck ran out when he started trying to cast certain spells and ended up casting a different spell (One time he tried freezing a tree and ended up igniting it). While this would probably depress some magic users, Privy was rather excited about it, and began to start taking a stage name and becoming a children's entertainer, putting on magic shows and making kids laugh. It was fun for a long time, and eventually he caught wind of the Hunters Guild accepting new recruits, and eagerly went to go join and help kill things as the great magician he was destined to be.
Personality: Privy speaks in a Russian accent, and enjoys making people laugh and smile. He doesn't like to think his disability is a weakness, rather as a motivator for his success in the future. He is also friends with an war battle axe.
Weapon skill/choice: He has an enchanted war axe, but he never uses it. He instead likes to use his fists as his main weapons.
This is a sentient war axe named Cliff, and is a very strict pacifist. It has the ability to speak on it's own will, and also float around on it's own will as well, but that's literally it.
Notable ability: Privy is a self-proclaimed Magician. As stated before, Privy has become a master of magic, but has lost the ability to accurately predict his spells when he casts them, so it's sort of random. He knows one spell that he can accurately cast on his own, and that is a defensive armor spell, and is casted when Privy exclaims he is armoring up.
Other Info: Cliff the war axe and Privy have been buds for the longest time, and as such are inseparable.
@KRIEEEG "The closest thing I can remember was having a conversation with a spider about going for a contract I had with a man named Yashar... then our local powerhouse of our group tried to... kill... the... spider... and I got in the way..."
Stride felt his neck, and then remembered his past and began retelling it.
"Have you ever been to the Elven-Human region? Down south in that region was my hometown, and it was strictly against the intermingling of races and the babies they made. I had a bad roll and this happened, and I was haunted by everyone for it. Constant plaguing with life about how I was never going to be helpful and how I was just doomed and to be killed..."
Stride's eyes teared up at these thoughts. He wiped his eyes as he gulped a bit of the beer down.
"I went to a college for magical aptitude, and began to excel to the top of my class at it. During this time, I was aloof of a war that caused death to countless humanlike races and monsters alike. I felt like I had to choose a side after this war, and I went to the monsters. It seemed right because of how I was treated like a kid, an abomination, so I imagined I could relate to them about it. My first day in town, I heard a man call for assistance, claiming there were countless riches to be rewarded. I went to his tower in the town, and touched one of his staves he kept in his room where he did business. I was cursed to drool excessively, and I'm glad that didn't carry over here into this place."
Another swig of beer was had, as Stride kept speaking.
"Later, after we settled as a small group on this quest, I tried to recruit a spider for our group, and the resident Orc of our squad was afraid of spider, so he tried killing it with a swift blow of his axe. I got in the way, trying to save the life of the spider. Unfortunately, I think my head was taken off as a result."
Stride put his cards down on the table, and began to look at the man in front of him.
"To answer your final 2 questions, I'd love a second chance to go back and be with this group. Honestly, even though one of them killed me, I'd like to think that's a good trait for him, and I want to think of whoever's on this team as a brother... and that ogre was nice. As for who you are... hm... I'd say you were Death, am I assuming correct?"
Ruben wheeled up to his computer, a bowl of freshly made ramen placed beside him. He was surprised it kept for so long, considering it was about 2 or 3 years old. That being said, it's expiration date was the next day, so that ruined some of the magic for Ruben. Nonetheless, a hot meal that wasn't vegetable based was very nice for once. He kept his helmet off as he opened a window on his computer, turning on his little buddy near PRT headquarters. A smile washed over Ruben's face as he pulled his controller to him. "Here we go buddy, let's take this nice and slow..."
Over at the headquarters, a small black ball turned on near the top of the building. It started to float around before landing on 3 small legs. It began to run into the ventilation shaft at the top of the building and followed any noise until it made it to what looked like a business room, complete with holograms of people speaking. It started to record anything it could while Ruben watched it on a live feed. He recorded because it allowed him to use anything as information later if he needed it. Smiling, Ruben pulled over a tray and sat his bowl of ramen on it. After a quick bite, he spoke once. "...and now, we observe the power of 'The Eye'.
To anyone, it would look completely fine aside from the few lines of white which were barely noticeable behind the vent. Ruben sat and happily ate his ramen while taping this boardroom scene. He then heard from an apparent 'Collin' that they were heading down to a practice room. He decided to wait until they actually got to that room to follow, as he was bound to get lost if he didn't know where to go. His helmet sat close by as a safety net in case he wanted to speak to anyone while he was there.
[center][h3][u]Well hello.[/u][/h3]
I guess I should introduce myself, huh.
I'm [color=00aeef]Gardevoiran[/color], just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.
I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.
[url=https://ko-fi.com/U7U1HBS5][img]https://az743702.vo.msecnd.net/cdn/kofi1.png?v=0[/img][/url]
I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.
I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."[/center]
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><div class="bb-center"><div class="bb-h3"><span class="bb-u">Well hello.</span></div><br>I guess I should introduce myself, huh.<br><br>I'm <font color="#00aeef">Gardevoiran</font>, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.<br><br>I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.<br><br><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://ko-fi.com/U7U1HBS5"><img src="https://az743702.vo.msecnd.net/cdn/kofi1.png?v=0" /></a><br><br>I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not. <br><br>I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.<br><br>"What do you call a cow with two legs?"<br>"Lean beef."</div></div>