Funny thing about electricity: it really didn't care what species you were. A living body would never respond well to electricity being passed through it. Except if you were an electric eel. Or a water bear because, seriously, unkillable.
It's funny what runs through your head when you're being tased. The least funny thing is, again, the electricity. There are other things however. Like the fact that Shemp could have prevented this pain. That's what the feeling was saying. That's what the feeling had tried to do. Already wary of danger from the escalating catfight, when it had spotted a black clad faceless goon rushing him it had nearly taken matters into its own hands to solve the problem. The Mantis Shrimp only really has one solution to most problems, and it was only the tale tell click feeling in his arm that alerted Shemp to what a deeper, more primal part of his brain was trying to do.
The effort of will it had taken to suppress that instinct to punch was why Shemp was now twitching on the ground instead of standing triumphantly over a liquid pile of what was once a man. Or a woman. Who knew though that facemask. Probably had family though. Probably had friends. Was probably given this posting specifically because they were expendable. And really, standing up like that was just asking to get tased. He felt bad about everybody else though. Well, not everybody else.
As he pushed himself up off the floor, elbows shaking and primal mind still eagerly looking to lash out from the pain, he looked over at Oliver and Zain. As he pushed himself up the wall he never took his eyes off them and spoke shakily between breaths. "What....did I tell you....assholes?" Then he turned stumbled toward the door, he said aloud to the guards. "Any of you tall strapping lads willing to show a poor broken down tramp to his hovel?"
Gentlemanvaultboy Member
- Last Seen: 4 yrs ago
- Joined: 12 yrs ago
- Posts: 2326 (0.55 / day)
- VMs: 5
-
Username history
- Gentlemanvaultboy 12 yrs ago
Status
User has no status, yet
Bio
I guess my comfort zone is "eccentric side character."
Most Recent Posts
Shemp stands up so quickly his chair topples over and slams him hands down on the table. "Would you idiots get some damn perspective?" He shouts. "This isn't some high school where all they do is expel you over a lunchroom brawl! You think those are god damn toys on the end of your fingers!?"
Tyler's head swings around to to the source of the sound, curiously. The sound had seemed to jump through the daze that this whole strange situation had put him in, like a warning bell ringing out to remind him to get his priorities in order. For example, if Stella found out that he'd gotten lost in something as small as park she'd never let him live it down. She barely trusted him to navigate big cities. But maybe if he'd been dosed with something by locals and carried off somewhere as part of some prank he would at least have an excuse. "Excuse me," he called out, "Is someone playing games out there? Am I on a TV program?"
He scanned the treeline for cameras.
He scanned the treeline for cameras.
Name: Bishop Bishop Bishop
Appearance: A pale, balding man in his mid-twenties to early thirties with clammy looking skin and a patch of scraggly black hair set upon his scalp. His skin seems to be pulled tight to his bones, but he has a perfect set of teeth. Wears a long black robe, of course with a hood, fastened on by at length of metal belt buckles each bearing the symbol of a different esoteric order. He carries a sliver shovel upon his shoulder and moves as though there's a tune in his heart only he can understand.
History: As his name might suggest, Bishops mother and father had very much decided what he was going to be well before he was born. Devout members of the Aphrodite church, Goddess of love, they spend his formative years grooming him for a position in it. At twelve years old, having been thoroughly spoiled on the idea of unconditional love by sheer exposure, he did what anyone who wants to stick it religious parents would: he ran away from home and joined the first cult that would take him. This happened to be the Cult of G'Narrel, a minor goblin deity know for punching humans in the trousers. Though he was human, his fellow goblin members saw how great his enthusiasm for the Cult was and he excelled, rising through the ranks of the church until a group of adventurers showed up, killed his fellow cult members, and returned him to his loving parents. They had believed him kidnapped in the night.
Undeterred, Bishop again ran away and joined a new cult; "The Esoteric Order of GhARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!", called such because no one ever made it past the first syllable of its gods name. He quite enjoyed himself in this cult as well, until he stood to close to the door the day they were going to sacrifice the princess of a neighboring Kingdom. The door that conveniently slammed him into the wall when the adventurers kicked it open, knocking him out and saving his life as the rest of the cult was slaughtered and the princess rescued. Refusing to be cowed by this, he joined the Serpent Riders later that same day. Less than a month later they had been killed to a man while raiding a castle, except for Bishop because his serpent had choked to death the night before. He joined up with the Astral Society of Tallbrook and partook in their mass suicide to summon their Star God, except he had accidentally gotten sawdust instead of the poison powder he was suppose to inhale. The god was still summoned in a weakened state and was finished off, along with the rest of the Society, by adventurer as he walked off in a huff. He put on a wig and joined the Night Sisters and did pretty well there until he was discovered, chased out of their secluded hot spring retreat by the entire gathering, and watched as a sudden rock-slide send them tumbling down into a ravine.
This kept happening until Bishop developed a sort of reputation, and cults started baring him entry out of fear. It was at this point any sane man would have called it quits and gone home. Bishop, however, was not quite a sane man due to all the esoteric knowledge he had rattling around in his head. He determined that, if no cult was going to let him usher in an age of darkness with them, he would his own one-man cult and bring about the destruction of the world himself. His journey has taken him far and wide across in search power and knowledge to bring this about, and now his wandering bring him to....hmm? Where was this place again?
Personality: Despite his look Bishop is actually a very sunny, polite, courteous, generous man because some things you learn as a child just stick. He doesn't see anything wrong with giving away his earthly possessions and time to those less fortunate because it doesn't matter. The planet is going to be destroyed sooner or later, what do the dark forces care that he's helped an old lady carry her bags. She asked him after all, to refuse would have been rude. He is jittery though, energetic, and throws himself 120% into whatever task is at hand. He has the sort of focus that only the insane develop, shutting out everything else once he engages something.
Abilities: Bishop has been a member of more cults and secret societies than most people can name, and is likely the last surviving member of every single one of them. His mind is an amazing sponge for rituals and secret arts, and he can bring to bare the strangest of magic if he can get it out of his mouth properly. Being a veteran of many secret societies has made him very good at ciphers and codes. He's shock resistant, as he's built up an immunity to sanity destroying effects by exposure.
Theme Tune
Appearance: A pale, balding man in his mid-twenties to early thirties with clammy looking skin and a patch of scraggly black hair set upon his scalp. His skin seems to be pulled tight to his bones, but he has a perfect set of teeth. Wears a long black robe, of course with a hood, fastened on by at length of metal belt buckles each bearing the symbol of a different esoteric order. He carries a sliver shovel upon his shoulder and moves as though there's a tune in his heart only he can understand.
History: As his name might suggest, Bishops mother and father had very much decided what he was going to be well before he was born. Devout members of the Aphrodite church, Goddess of love, they spend his formative years grooming him for a position in it. At twelve years old, having been thoroughly spoiled on the idea of unconditional love by sheer exposure, he did what anyone who wants to stick it religious parents would: he ran away from home and joined the first cult that would take him. This happened to be the Cult of G'Narrel, a minor goblin deity know for punching humans in the trousers. Though he was human, his fellow goblin members saw how great his enthusiasm for the Cult was and he excelled, rising through the ranks of the church until a group of adventurers showed up, killed his fellow cult members, and returned him to his loving parents. They had believed him kidnapped in the night.
Undeterred, Bishop again ran away and joined a new cult; "The Esoteric Order of GhARRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!", called such because no one ever made it past the first syllable of its gods name. He quite enjoyed himself in this cult as well, until he stood to close to the door the day they were going to sacrifice the princess of a neighboring Kingdom. The door that conveniently slammed him into the wall when the adventurers kicked it open, knocking him out and saving his life as the rest of the cult was slaughtered and the princess rescued. Refusing to be cowed by this, he joined the Serpent Riders later that same day. Less than a month later they had been killed to a man while raiding a castle, except for Bishop because his serpent had choked to death the night before. He joined up with the Astral Society of Tallbrook and partook in their mass suicide to summon their Star God, except he had accidentally gotten sawdust instead of the poison powder he was suppose to inhale. The god was still summoned in a weakened state and was finished off, along with the rest of the Society, by adventurer as he walked off in a huff. He put on a wig and joined the Night Sisters and did pretty well there until he was discovered, chased out of their secluded hot spring retreat by the entire gathering, and watched as a sudden rock-slide send them tumbling down into a ravine.
This kept happening until Bishop developed a sort of reputation, and cults started baring him entry out of fear. It was at this point any sane man would have called it quits and gone home. Bishop, however, was not quite a sane man due to all the esoteric knowledge he had rattling around in his head. He determined that, if no cult was going to let him usher in an age of darkness with them, he would his own one-man cult and bring about the destruction of the world himself. His journey has taken him far and wide across in search power and knowledge to bring this about, and now his wandering bring him to....hmm? Where was this place again?
Personality: Despite his look Bishop is actually a very sunny, polite, courteous, generous man because some things you learn as a child just stick. He doesn't see anything wrong with giving away his earthly possessions and time to those less fortunate because it doesn't matter. The planet is going to be destroyed sooner or later, what do the dark forces care that he's helped an old lady carry her bags. She asked him after all, to refuse would have been rude. He is jittery though, energetic, and throws himself 120% into whatever task is at hand. He has the sort of focus that only the insane develop, shutting out everything else once he engages something.
Abilities: Bishop has been a member of more cults and secret societies than most people can name, and is likely the last surviving member of every single one of them. His mind is an amazing sponge for rituals and secret arts, and he can bring to bare the strangest of magic if he can get it out of his mouth properly. Being a veteran of many secret societies has made him very good at ciphers and codes. He's shock resistant, as he's built up an immunity to sanity destroying effects by exposure.
Theme Tune
"Calm down man, don't even joke about threats like that." Shemp says sharply. "You're men. You don't need claws to settle disputes!"
"Besides," He says, slipping back into the casual tone of voice he was using before, "The Mole Rat dies like everything else, it just doesn't get any weaker with age. For immortality, there are species of Jellyfish. And for straight up 'you-can-not-kill-me-no-matter-how-hard-you-tryabillity,' there's this tiny little thing called a Water Bear. If you mix all three you'd probably get as close to true immortality as is possible to come."
"Besides," He says, slipping back into the casual tone of voice he was using before, "The Mole Rat dies like everything else, it just doesn't get any weaker with age. For immortality, there are species of Jellyfish. And for straight up 'you-can-not-kill-me-no-matter-how-hard-you-tryabillity,' there's this tiny little thing called a Water Bear. If you mix all three you'd probably get as close to true immortality as is possible to come."
"Method of control in case the subject went AWOL. Make it so you can't transform freely under UV light unless you want to get cooked. If I was Vlad I'd build a defect like that into each of us that he could exploit in case we went wild. Then I'd fix the defect when I'm ready to start mass producing animal serum."
"Laugh if you want, if I was in Vlad's shoes the first thing I'd do after this is start handing out Naked Mole Rat to anyone that was willing to pay for it. Sure you'd look old, but you'd feel young right up until a little bit before you die. Imagine summiting Everest or running the New York Marathon at 95."
"Now imagine doing that with a full body sunburn." Shemp said, crunching down on a carrot. The feeling was still distressed, but it was getting less so as he got more full. "And you definitely can't kill censer doing that. Though I guess you could see if Vlad would dose you with Naked Mole Rat. Those little buggers are immune to cancer, and you get the side benefit of eternal youth."
I would like this, yes.
"I'm just saying natural light could be an issue." He replied, taking a closer look, specifically at Zain's face. "Not necessarily though. White striped fur doesn't necessarily mean albino, there are actually white tigers rarely born in the wild whose fur just looks like that. No, you tell albinism from the eyes. Albino eyes are pink or red. Doesn't seem that way yes, but I'd check the mirror every once and a while."
© 2007-2026