~| Day 2, 7:20 - 7:30 GST |~
~| Aboard the Kaggath, Main Prison Complex |~
Lea, Xid & Arix
It was later than he meant to wake, eyes flickering open with mild and sticky protest. For a moment things were simple and quiet, only the humming of the ship’s engines and the soft sound of conversation and footsteps on durasteel in the background. If he dreamed he didn’t remember it, and though he knew he was imprisoned there was an odd calm before the ice-cold realization that he was wearing someone else’s blood.
His breath left his chest in as sudden a rush as ever, eyes squeezing shut again sharply. It was so much different with a knife, so much more awful. A meticulous person at the best of times, the mess made is somehow more real, more visceral. A jedi didn’t draw his saber without intent to kill, but that was--
Different.
Arix breathed deeply, slowly, through his nose as he pushed himself to his feet and tried to keep things together. He needed,
so badly, to be clean. More than anything, he just needed to be clean. Silent as could be so as not to wake those that slept--please don’t let them see him like this, he practically whispered under his breath--he made for the shower.
...and found it occupied, not to mention guarded. The new knight, Xid. Brilliant. Dressed in what was left of his robes and spattered in the rust brown of old sanguine, he tried his best to seem together and aloof. His voice had no such intention and cracked when he tried to speak--he cleared his throat, tried again.
“...there a reason you’re just standing there?”
He didn’t mention how red the boy was, even if he started to guess.
“Waiting, Lea’s in there... “ Xid managed to spit out. His hands were still fidgeting as he pushed deeper into the wall, his head wanting to twist back which he barely managed to stop several times. The Knight tried to calm his mind and keep his mind centered on the floor. It wasn’t easy with his curiosity growing by the minute and adding that to the brief glimpses, it was almost hard not to give in. He raised his eyes to glimpse the padawan’s state causing his eyes to widen in shock and surprise.
“What happened to you and how are you still standing?”
“It’s not mine.” His eyes flicked past the doorway, briefly, before catching some sight of the woman on the other side and closing. Of course there was someone else in the shower, and of course it was a girl. Woman. Young woman. Whatever.
“I... gambled. And lost. And killed a man.” And really,
really needed to wash. To be clean.
“You look like you’ve had some wear and tear yourself. Are you alright?”
Xid digested the information as he considered the fact how the blood got onto the Jedi, his expression crunched up in thought. There was only a few ways and he didn’t like over half of them that came to mind. He shuddered and push the thoughts away, obviously those were off the list naturally due the fact the man being a Jedi. They never would consider willingly to take a life or so he assumed. When asked about his own condition, Xid inwardly debated on what to reveal. Truthfully he didn’t want anyone to worry and fret after him, but he also didn’t want to lie to anyone. Several moments passed before he finally answered.
“I’m Xid Terrik, and I’m alright, just a few cracked ribs, lightsabers burns and minor bruising. Nothing serious really. Tolun Fi just told me to make sure to land right next time not to get hit on this side,” Xid pointed to his wounded ribs, the right side, “or fall on this side. Else I risk breaking them further. Something I’m sure I can avoid… mostly.”
He scratched his head and winched slightly, his wounds healed a bit but still very tender. It would still take another day or two to heal the fractures completely so until then, they would certainly hurt pretty badly.
Flicking his eyes open and following the Jedi’s fingers, he nodded slightly as he followed along. A Knight, Arix remembered, a recent one… he nodded again, more slowly. “I’m glad. I’m not a healer, or I’d do what I can, but I’m sure the kaminoan knows what he’s talking about.” He was more curious than Xid, it seemed, or at least less afraid to ask--the damage he’d taken, at least, was a sign of resistance. Bravery.
He probably hadn’t had to kill anyone, Arix thought briefly and unfairly, and felt bad for it as he quieted his voice just slightly.
“I need to wash. You need to wash. This will be less awkward if you come as well.” Stepping forward and past him into the showers, Arix was already tugging off his robes, keeping his gaze even and level. It was the girl, Lea, the one who’d been here for so long. He hadn’t spoken to her more than he’d spoken to anyone, really, but he nodded to her by way of greeting and tried to keep his face level and calm, without the rush of blood that plagued the other boy. It...almost worked, as he shucked the rest of his clothes on the way to a stall of his own.
“Hi.” He managed only slightly awkwardly by way of introduction, raising his voice a bit to speak over his shoulder and forcing it past the odd frog on his throat. “Which Sith did that to you, Xid?”
Arix was very glad, for reasons he knew full well were entirely silly, that he kept himself in such excellent shape. Aside from the bruising at his chest and the...well, gore… he was as fit as any echani warrior could have been at his age.
Over the sound of the shower, Lea could hear Xid speaking with someone. She didn’t recognize the voice, but that didn’t mean much. She hardly knew anyone. When she half-sensed that one of the two had entered the room, she turned around to look. It was the Echani, whose name she’d forgotten. He was pulling off his blood-stained robes, headed for one of the showers. Though he was muscular and all that, she found that for some reason she didn’t find him… interesting. . . Not in the way Xid was. Not that she was willing to admit that last bit to anyone, least of all herself.
“Umm… Hi.” she answered the Echani.
When Arix moved into the showers, Xid’s head whipped to follow the boy but couldn’t move his feet. “Hey, wait. She’s still-”
His mind still stuck on giving Lea all the space and privacy he could. It cut off his words in the sentence middle, his throat tightened as if something invisible had expanded within it. Immediately, realizing he was on the brink of staring, he jerked his back to the wall and out of sight. At not being able to see Lea he inhaled sharply and made himself relax, forcefully. When he thought his cheeks could get no redder, he was proven wrong rather quickly. They felt like they were on fire now. Biting his lip bottom, his ears caught Arix’s voice over the running water causing Xid’s desperate mind to focus on the topic. “A Trandoshan Sith, he tossed one of the droids I was fiddling with right on top of me. It disabled me and did interior damage, the fractures on my framework I mentioned earlier. It will mend in time. Though I did get a semi-decent analyzation of his battle tactics and specialty during the fight. I couldn't get a proper one since I fell below his level when it came to combat and the droids had already sustained a large amount of damaged when I got to them.”
Xid had gotten rather focused on answering the questions, he let his mind slip into machinist mode. It wouldn’t be a surprise if neither Lea or Arix understood even half of those terms, let alone translate them into something more casual.
It was bad enough that Xid didn’t follow him, or that Lea seemed to think he had two heads. Worse was that the Knight hadn’t taken the hint and followed, choosing to lurk instead. There was a flush of irritation, an eye-roll--if they were going to survive this, they were going to need to accept that modesty was somewhat low on the list of concerns. When he was fully stripped he made his way towards the stall closest to the door, taking the opportunity to reach out with the Force and give the older boy a jerk back into the room. If it wasn’t exactly serenity that fueled him, at least he could still manage to grasp it.
“I didn’t see a trandoshan. Only a Sith--the proper ones, red-skinned and all. She debated the philosophy of conviction and redemption.” He said without looking, jerking the water on as hot as it went. Hot enough to scald, he hoped, hotter than blood. His hand shook on the red glass as he started to scrub.
And scrub. And scrub.
Xid felt a sudden pull and tug on his body, then in moments he came stumbling into the room. His feet slipped onto the water and his back smacked hard on the floor as his head lightly bounced, spotting spots dancing across his closed eyelids. It all happened a little too quickly, his figure coming to a full stop upon his back at last. Luckily he only lightly banged his ribs and the damage wasn’t too much. It didn’t stop Xid from turning his head to frown at Arix’s unnecessary and excessive actions. The Jedi appeared to had a slight bullying nature which bother the knight greatly, a surprise to himself, when he started to pull himself upright. He dusted off his robes, inwardly considering his next words, trying to make them sound as calm as possible.
His head turned to see the naked Echani scrubbing his skin off. Though his head ached and throbbed, a small knot at the back, he sighed. It was pointless to say anything now as he knew, or rather had a feeling, anything he said would go in one ear and out the other. How a person like him ever became a Jedi was a mystery to Xid. “If you’re not careful, you’ll end up scrubbing your skin off.”
The whole time he shifted in unease, his eyes still tried to avoid Lea’s direction by twisting about.
Before Lea had time to do more than stare at the Echani’s attempt to scrub his own skin off, Xid tumbled into the room. Seeing how nobody stood behind him, it was pretty obvious that someone had pushed him. Or rather, pulled him. Since she hadn’t done it, that left the Echani. “Give the water time. What little blood remains will be washed away.” She hoped the words would get in, but she had her doubts. She had seen such behavior before, in patients back on H’Ratth. Words rarely did enough.
She then looked at Xid. Though the shower stalls were well designed with drains and raised sides, it was clear that this was far from perfect, for there was a good bit of water spilled on the floor. Or rather, there had been. Now most of it seemed to have been absorbed by Xid’s robes. More water kept splashing at his robes, all due to the Echani’s frantic scrubbing. “I doubt words will get through. I’ve seen obsessive scrubbing like this before. We really need to restrain him until his mind can be healed.”
With that said, Lea turned off the shower and strode over to the stall with the Echani. With her healer mindset at the front, she quite forgot about any modesty. “Help me restrain him, would you?”
Xid had stiffened and froze to the spot, his eyes turned at the sight of movement. He stupidly snapped his head toward it and regretted it. He got a full image of Lea, bare and fully expose, imprinted on his brain and would likely stick there for some time. He couldn’t help but stare for a time. At least, until her mention of restraining the Echani came to his ears. A fog cleared enough for his logic to slam him fully in the face. Something was clearly wrong and the gears turned in his head, concreting the realization of that deep within his heart.
Quickly, he stripped off his robes and his soaking tunic underneath. His arms threw them away as he stepped into the shower, feeling the scorching water burning him. Xid gritted his teeth to prevent a scream while his arms wrapped about the Echani’s arm to stop the scrubbing. Naturally, he wasn’t very strong so he had to resort to considering another, unwanted option. His mind filled with a familiar, dark chuckle when someone from a memory whispered in his ear.
Stop trying to change your view to suit the world and change the world to suit you. A living being is, after all, in essence, only a machine, isn’t it? When you know how it works, and you do, it is so easily to jerk its gears.A sourness seeped into Xid’s throat while he adjusted his grip, pushing into a small pressure point in the arm nook. On applying pressure, he cut off blood and forcibly applied some Force energy. His aim was to stop the flow and weaken the arm enough to pry it from the other which would stop the scratching, allowing Xid the upper hand in strength. It was like blocking a fluid pressure line inside a droid. Always affecting the limb and weakening the function, it was very little that was different compared to the human body as Ithor had sadly shown him. Xid hated to do this. Every fiber of him oozed with it while he resisted using it to aid his weak force.
Something within Lea warmed up strangely when Xid stripped, but she did not quite understand what. She could see several prominent scars on his body, previously concealed underneath his robes. Even if little else about him gave evidence that he had been through hardship, those scars could not deny it. She could see that he was clearly strong inside to not have such affect him duly. She found that worthy of respect. When he started pressing on the point just above the nook of the Echani’s arm, she saw the jagged scar across his navel. She didn’t know what had created it, but she found herself not wanting to encounter such. At least not without a lightsaber on hand.
She sucked in a small breath at seeing Xid’s front, a bit disappointed he’d left his trousers on, then shook herself loose and started to help. She grabbed the Echani’s other arm, using the same pressure point to stop him from trying to scrub his skin off. “Stop, Echani. You’ll only hurt yourself. We’ve got enough Sith to deal with to injure ourselves. You mustn’t show them weakness.”
“I’m alright.”
They were the first words out of his mouth, and he meant them so emphatically. He was alright because he had to be alright, because as soon as he realized that they had him by the arms, that he
hadn’t been alright he wished very much that he could simply disappear in shame. They were doing something to him, pressure points and Force energy, and he couldn’t he torn free even if he’d wanted to. There was some blood--his, he realized, with something approaching numbness--but not much. Only where thin nails had scratched the skin.
He’d just wanted to be clean. To wash what was left of Venkel off his skin, to leave it behind. He forced his head up even as his eyes burned, forced his arms to relax in their grip to show they didn’t need to grasp him so. Disgusting. Pathetic, to fall apart so quickly--the first, he felt, and closed his eyes slowly to take a breath.
“It’s alright. I’m alright.” He said quietly, calmly, as if trying not to spook an animal. “Please let me go.”
He breathed, slowly, and closed his eyes. He even managed a wry smile of chagrin.
“...I’m sorry. I’m making a fool of myself and dragging you into it. I’ll be alright.”
Xid was questioning the sincerity of the Echani, his eyebrow raised and glanced at Lea. Making his own choice, he cautiously opened his hand to release the pressure point as well as his weak force. He stepped back to examine the Jedi and hoped his choice wasn’t the wrong one. His blond hair was plastered to his hand and darkened by the water, still burning his flesh, raining down upon the trio. Scars were visible over his body though they were merely history now. His trousers cling tightly to his figure and sagged, weighed down by the collecting water near the pant bottoms. They were nearly falling off his narrow hips though he hadn’t noticed.
“No, you aren’t because that guilt over that life is still there. You may never be alright, but you’re strong and will make it.” Xid said, trying to sound heartening. In reality he wasn’t sure if it was Arix that he was speaking to or himself, continuing in a soft voice so not to spook Arix. “Taking a life isn’t easy and you’re not the only one that’s had to swallow that experience. I’ve just recently killed a trooper when I was trying to protect another Jedi. Something I swore to myself I would never do, else I risk following the path of another I couldn’t bear to. As for making a fool of yourself. Among friends and allies, it’s much better to lose yourself as you can draw support from us than allow the Sith to witness it. they feed off the pain, misery and worse. I wasn’t so lucky. I broke down in front of a Sith trying to save the life of my victim and instead his life slipped from my hands.”
Xid stepped forward and placed his hand upon the padawan, resting there. “So, foolish is the last thing you are. None of us are perfect but it doesn’t mean we’re not Jedi because of it.”
Lea released the Echani’s arm, then took a step back, crossing her arms. “Yes. Taking lives is no easy thing. But sometimes you have no choice. In a war like this, you end up with allies and enemies. You might not like their tactics or choices, but more often than not, the alternatives are worse.” Noticing Xid’s flushed cheeks and tendency to look away from her, she found that to be oddly charming.
“You need not be afraid to look, Xid. I am neither ashamed of what I am or of my body. I don’t mind you looking at it.” She grinned a little as she said this. After about a minute, she did feel a bit ashamed and walked over to the shower stall, where she found a stashed towel. Not that she would ever admit that. She wrapped it around herself and picked up her robes while listening to the other two talking. She’d dry herself off properly later on.
When the other two started speaking of experiences with the Sith, about what they had been forced to do, she thought back on what she had gone through the past two months and shuddered involuntarily. “Trust me. . . You don’t want to know what I’ve been forced to go through in my captivity here. Had my master not taught me to be strong when faced with challenges, I doubt I would have still been sane. Or even alive.”
Xid’s ears burned at hearing Lea’s comment. His spine stiffened and his mind twitched, itching to peek. While she stood there for a full minute, the Knight resisted. It wasn’t easy and several times, he felt like his will would give out. It wasn’t until he heard her pad away did his curiosity get the better of him. His eyes couldn’t help it. His head slowly, and cautiously, glanced at Lea’s retreating figure. It wasn’t as awful as he thought, mildly, still staring a bit until she retrieved a towel. Immediately his eyes averted again. This time both guilt and shame flooded his mind causing him to flush even redder than he thought possible.
By the force, is there any blood left that isn’t in my face? He thought bitterly.
“I think we all have scars we bear.” His hand gently traced his navel’s history, his tone depressed at recalling his memories. “Some scars are on the outside and more dangerous ones on the inside. My last mission proved to me that the surface ones heal a lot easier than the inside ones, namely when you’re faced with a truth you never want to believe yet it’s staring you in the face.”
The release of his arms was a relief, that odd channeled weakness disappearing with the hands of his comrades. Letting them fall to his sides he took a smooth deep breath, hands open in the universal sign of nonaggression. Xid was right, of course, that there were scars to bear, but as he looked between them he saw the coping mechanism more than the telltale wound. The Knight's words were comforting because they were what he hoped someone would say--their guilt may have trickled down different paths but it still stemmed from taking a life.
Lea's was a different matter, a trauma rather than a guilt. It was the Sith, she understood, that were the enemy, that inflicted these little horrors on them. Her fiery demeanor and forced optimism spoke of resilience, certainly... but looking between the two of them now Arix knew that this was a companionship of attraction. The flushed cheeks, the awkward glances, the shift of hips and posturing of shoulders left little room for doubt or surprise. In some ways it was heartening--in others it was very much not, realizing that he had no part in their friendship and likely never would.
But if nothing else, Xid was right. They were still Jedi, no matter what else they were. He had failed, and it had been costly, but he would not allow himself to crack like this again or let the wound fester as Xid had.
"I killed a man named Venkel because I bet his freedom on his repentance for a crime." Arix said finally, getting to his feet and taking another slow breath. "It was foolish, and wrong, but there isn't anything to do but learn from the mistake and use it to become stronger, so that I can stand for others and keep them from my own errors." His master would have said it, or something like it--acknowledge fault, learn, move on. He felt like someone should have.
"Thank you." he added at the end, awkwardly. "I didn't think I needed all that... but I guess I did. I hope I'll be able to stand for you two when you need it."
He turned off the water and stepped back, slipping between them and heading for his clothes.
"And neither of your bodies are anything to be ashamed of." He added without looking. "Their yours. They tell your story. It's a good thing."
Xid listened to Arix's confession, his gut twisted and turned in silence, as the padawan slipped between them. He bit his tongue when he heard it. Xid had figured he had heard correctly the first time, however he had chosen to think better and in doing that, he hadn't braced for the truth a second time. Inside his mind, the recently minted Knight wondered if his words really made a difference at all.
Sela would've known.
His heart ached at the thought as his hand reached to scratch the nape of his neck, his eyes spying in gratitude that Lea had grabbed a towel. She held her clothes in hand and listened to their conversation. His head turned to see his still sopping wet pants and robes on the floor, knowing they would never dry before the Sith's arrival time. It was either putting them back on or run around naked, neither idea had it's ideal perks.
After a bit of thinking, the teen was tempted to fashion a device to haste the process but he recalled Tolun Fi's words about being careful with his abilities. Creating a crude heater would've been a dead give away and their plans were at risk of crumbling.
His fingers tightened into a fist at the thought of how so much rode on him. In the end, he felt so limited that it was frustrating.
"Mistakes doesn't make you less of a Jedi. It's the aftermath which determines that." Xid said in what he hoped was a strong, comforting voice, he purposely ignored the Padawan's comment over his body. Compared to the Echani, Xid knew he wasn't much of a looker and lacked the thicker muscular appeal many combat specialized Jedi had. He sighed and added. "Now comes the real challenge. Getting washed up, drying my clothes and figuring out who's going with the Sith coming shortly."
“I am not ashamed of my body.” Lea said as in response to Arix’s statement, more willing than Xid to admit such, even if she did not yet fully realize her attraction to him. Lea looked over at Xid, noticing his dilemma. She had no idea how to dry his robes or clothes. She’d not seen any suitable sources of heat or other means of drying. That was roughly when she figured out a pragmatic idea. “You can always borrow my outer robe, Xid. I’m not that much smaller than you, and it has a fairly loose fit on me.”
She pulled it out of the pile of clothes she held in her hand, then held it out to him. was the logical solution to the issue of him not having any dry clothes available. “If you wring out your other clothes, they’ll probably dry fairly quickly if you hang them up somewhere. . . Or you could ask the Sith for some extra clothes. They probably won’t be Jedi robes, though.” She hoped Xid would not be to stubborn to take the robe.
"Thanks," Xid said and took her outer robe, smiling at the gesture. Luckily his trousers were the least soaked and could be possibly wearable by the end of his shower. He noted Lea's suggestion about asking their captors for another set of clothes with raised eyebrow. "I don't think I could bring myself to so that. Namely as I'm a bit worried what the price for a request might cost me. Sith aren't generous by nature and to expect there not to be strings attached to anything is dangerous."
His mind recalled the dinner with the last Sith and it became a downhill spiral after things didn't appear to go the Sith's way. The thought of requesting something from a monster like that made Xid's feet shift uncomfortably. "Thank you for the suggestion but I'll make do. Now where to put these so they can dry."
He moved to set Lea's robe where it wouldn't get wet and then pondered where to hang up his others to dry. Leaving them in the shower room wasn't optimal, the vapors in the air causing the process to last longer. Xid was even still doubtful his trousers would be fully dry by the time he was done. It would mean he would have to deal with the dampness and try not to get anything else wet until they did.
“Another apology is due, it would seem. I hadn’t meant to send you tumbling. Though her robe is likely more comfortable, you’re welcome to my clothing if you need it.” Arix muttered, closing his eyes and taking another breath before looking about idly. There really didn’t seem to be a brilliant answer to the problem, but it was simply wet clothing. It would dry soon enough when hung, and there were plenty of beds to drape it over. Stepping into his pants and cinching them as he stood, he stepped from the shower shirtless to dry in the cool air of the cell.
“Funny. I spent such time perfecting my saberwork only to find myself without it. If she were still alive, my master would be greatly amused.”
Lea thought for a while about where the clothes could be dried. There weren’t any particular places that were optimal. Nor any reliable heat sources. That left only the less-than-optimal locations. The medical bay didn’t have much to hang anything on. The sanitation room was too humid. That left the bunk rooms. Either the bunks or the table would probably work. “I’d wring out the wet clothes and hang them to dry somewhere, maybe over one of the bunks or the table in the least-used bunk room? Maybe I can take them over there for you?”
Going with the Echani’s advice, Lea did hope Xid wouldn’t be too ashamed to do it. She was, after all, a bit curious about what the rest of him looked like. Purely on a medical basis, of course. She wondered if he had any other scars. He had seen all of her, so it was only fair she see all of him. At least in her mind it was that way.
“It’s alright. I’ve always lacked in combative skills and because of it, I’m not the strongest in pure application of the force. Even at eight years old, I could barely lift a stool as Tolun Fi learned. It wasn’t for lack of trying. It’s a bit of wonder why a master like Sela, pure combat and fighting skills, chose a padawan like me.” Xid’s eyes rose to linger over the camera’s location within the room, frowning at being watched. “ And I understand what you mean, Arix. At least a bit, but I was never good at combat and still miss my lightsaber.”
He sighed and realize he wasn’t likely to get any privacy, until he bathed. “Well, I’m not getting any cleaner standing here. Or drier. Could you do me a favor, Arix? Warn me of any other females coming in so I can hurry up? I think I’ve been red enough to make me a tomato for life and much rather not stay that way.”
He took a deep breath, his hand pressed against a stall edge to strip off his boots. They thumped off one by one, piling with the other wet clothing. Next he stepped into the unused shower with his back turned to the other two and held his trousers out to the nearest padawan before turning on the water. Under his breath he murmured softly enough that his words were drowned out by the water. “This is going to be a long captivity... “
Before Lea did anything else, she went just outside the room, dropping her own clothes in a pile there, then turning back around to go in and grab Xid’s trousers from where he held them out, she couldn’t help but take a quick glance through the red-tinged transparisteel side of the shower. The sight, though discolored, made her all warm and fuzzy inside. She walked over to where Xid had dumped his other clothes, then picked those up too, wringing them out to remove most of the water. She picked the pile up afterwards.
Though a part of her wanted to see more, those clothes did need to dry. As she left the room, she also grabbed her own clothes, carrying both piles to the starboard bunk room. There she spread them out on some of the spare bunks, before drying herself off properly and getting dressed again. As she did, she started to hear noises from the other bunk room, where she thought someone else might be waking up. She sat down on one of the lower bunks to wait.
“Always a benefit in keeping things diverse.” The platitude was uncomfortably true, as Arix was learning. Slipping out of the shower and heading to his bed, he caught Lea sneaking her peak at the naked knight and smiled slightly to himself in spite of it all. It must be a strange thing for her, suddenly having so many people in what was once her space. The pair of them were hitting it off, certainly--the thought that the Sith might realize the same thing sobered him a bit, but he said nothing for now. No need to call attention to it…
And if nothing else, he did need to dry off. He hopped on one of the beds and sighed, trying to take his mind off things and return to the state of readiness preached by his old master.
It might even have worked.
El Taco Taco
