"A heartbeat is the body's most monotonous chore, essential though it may be."
Appearance bio: Height: 5'8'' Weight: 155 lbs Skin: Very pale white. Hair: White, reflective, and messy. His bangs are parted above his right eye, and held behind his ears, with several strands standing rigidly on end, and moving freely with his head. The rest of his hair is tied back into a short pony-tail, severe just below his shoulders. Body details: Medium build, top-heavy, but not very muscular overall. Somewhat lanky. Facial Details: Sharp features. Very small nose, thin lips, droopy eyes. His jawline is very fine, and pointed at every angle. Short face, long neck. Clothing: Wears a white set of pants with his family crest embroidered on either thigh, and an iron crotch-guard. Typically bare-footed. Owns sandals that he prefers to carry on a rope around his neck rather than wear. Usually shirtless, will wear whatever is accessible in cold weather.
I'm fine with this appearance description, don't know if it's detailed enough for Partisan or Savato's standards though.
Personnel files. Access only by security personnel with a C3 clearance.
【Full Name】 Tetsuba Zaisette
【Alias】 Zay, or Za-se
【Affiliation】 Undecided huehuehue
【Age】 21
【Sex】 Male
【Sexuality】 Asexual / Hetero-romantic i dun getit
【Birthplace】 Iwagakure
【Bloodline】 The Tetsuba are practically extinct, and have no significant reputation outside of Iwagakure, where their 'silvered' hair has become a fleeting sign of bad luck.
【Rank】 Chūnin
Psych. report. Medical secrecy applies.
【Personality】 In a word? Lazy. +1
His lack of dedication, and methodical lifestyle is simply a byproduct of his mental lethargy. Zay is capable- Far more capable than most would like to admit, but his motivation does not match his potential. When speaking on his terms, rested and free of responsibility, Zay's speech is refined, polite, and he is very attentive to detail. In most cases however, Zay does not consider himself very 'rested' and acts completely aloof, purposely insulting the intelligence of others, and showing minimal interest in serious discussion. His attitude often causes conflict between him and his peers, making his life even harder than he already perceives it, and perpetually forcing himself into a downward spiral.
That being said, Zay perceives life itself as less than noteworthy, quoted as claiming the human heartbeat to be 'The body's most monotonous chore' on more than one occasion. Questions regarding his history or opinions on the general status of the Shinobi world are often met with a ballad of anecdotal references, and depressing metaphors that tend highlight the negative aspects of, well, being alive. Due to his seemingly infinite disdain towards basically everything, most perceive Zay as an angst ridden peon who cares nothing of his friends, family, or own well being. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. Nice and killjoy.
Despite what his nihilistic charade would suggest, he's a particularly caring individual that places tremendous importance on not only his own well-being, but that of all living things, and more importantly, the freedom they are entitled to. There's nothing more important to him than the heart that keeps him standing, and by extension, the people that give it the courage to beat freely. However, Zay prioritizes himself over all others. He claims that he would never risk his life, even if it were for the safety of a loved one. Truth be told, his attitude keeps him from actually developing any strong relationships, and his known family has been dead for years. Still, he considers his allies precious, and will do everything he can to keep their heart's beating if it doesn't put his life at serious risk. pussy
One could infer that Zay purposely distances himself from others to avoid the responsibility the coincides with friendship and romance, but since he is awfully secretive about his personal affairs, nobody's really be able to pry a solid explanation from his iron-hard brain-case. Wouldn't it be silver-hard?
【History】 Zay's life started off rich with love and wealth. Born in Iwagakure, Zay lived out his infant years in the care of his mother and father, both of whom had little respect for the Hamajō Confederation. This disrespect quickly blossomed into action when Zay's mother, Ikomi Tetsuba, allied herself with the Red Sages and put her family in immediate danger. Although her husband supported the haphazardous decision she'd made, his sister Tskia did not appreciate seeing her nephew put in harms way. Before he turned 3, Tskia Tetsuba stole Zay away from his father and fled Iwagakure to raise him in hiding. Not a year later, Tskia had received knowledge that both her brother and his wife were killed, having been revealed as supporters of the red sages.
Gonna have to interject here. Zay is 21 years old, so these events were 18 years ago. The Hamajo Confederation didn't complete it's campaign until only 11 years ago, but it also only started 15 years ago. It kinda came out of nowhere, something that will be elaborated upon at a later date. Gonna suggest you tweak this area to fit the timeline but otherwise I have no complaint.
Tskia rose Zay as her own, treating him as the son she'd never had, and teaching him the basis of his family's ninjutsu. Even so, Zay was one to question every minute detail behind the lessons he'd received. this often lead to questions regarding the Tetsuba Clan, and by extension, his parents. Of course, Tskia was never at liberty to reveal much to Zay, in fear he'd adopt his parent's ideals, putting himself in immediate danger. Due to the secrecy that enveloped his training, Zay didn't take to his aunt's lessons very kindly, and instead spent all of his time training himself in the art of silver Release with his aunt's wisdom as a very loose basis.
At the age of 17, around the time that Zay had achieved the rank of Chuunin, Tskia had fallen fatally ill, and was home-bound. Although it was difficult, Zay was forced to support both himself and his aunt on what little money he could earn through the few missions he was approved for. Ultimately, Tskia passed away, leaving Zay to fend for himself. On her death bed, Tskia told Zay of his parents and their fate, along with the history of their family. Although he didn't change the way he behaved, his aunt's death, and his family's history took a serious toll on his inner thoughts, and changed the way he looked at life, and death. Zay, without a mentor, continued to develop his silver release on his own.
Zay now spends his time conducting missions as a registered shinobi. When he isn't on assignments, sleeping, or training his jutsu, Zay spends all of his time outside, walking outside city limits as much as he can. That's a good way to get on the watch list. lel
【Family ties】 Zay has no living relatives to his own knowledge, but it's likely that some have survived to this day. Regardless, he doesn't care enough to look into the possibility.
【Dreams and fears】 "I dream of a world where everyone can lay their backs against softened grass, and gaze at clouds without fear of fire or fist" "Spiders are horrible, but they kill moths, and moths are a plague on my very sanity" gay fear, but I read the personality so I don't care much about this section tbh
Combat reports. Gathered from evaluation reports after missions. 【Fighting style】 Zay harnesses the power of his silver release almost exclusively. That is to say, he refuses to even acknowledge Taijutsu, Genjutsu, and most other ninjutsu as a viable option of combat. Zay is proficient at close-mid range combat, with limited long-range options. He focuses on a iron-hard defense to compensate for his lack of ranged options. silver-hard
【Kekkei genkai, or bloodline limit】 Bloodline limit name: Silver Release Description: Silver release allows members of the Tetsuba Clan to mold fire and Earth chakra natures into a shimmering metallic liquid, hence the name 'silver release'. This substance can be used in a plethora of different ways using subsequent jutsu as long as the user's chakra remains infused inside of the liquid, but without proper concentration, it is impossible to do much more than move it along the ground at a snails pace. It is also impossible to control this liquid if it travels more than 15 yards away from the user. If any of this substance leaves the user's 15 yard radius, whether it is in solid or liquid form, will quickly dissolve into raw chakra. Users can also reabsorb this liquid to replenish their chakra pool with diminished return. Due to these limitations, silver release users are not very mobile, and instead rely on the agility and durability of their jutsu.
Okay, so he can create liquid silver and manipulate existing silver. Can he absorb silver that he didn't create himself?
In use, the silver liquid acts as a base for several techniques. The most common application is consuming opponents in range and smothering them to death. It can however be hardened to create temporary weapons with very high Chakra affinity, large scale attacks, barriers, armor, and various mechanisms relative to the user's knowledge of the technology they are trying to mimic. More advanced users of Silver release can sense the presence of other living things within their pool as long as they are connect by a constant stream of chakra, coat their entire body in an armor that removes their sense of sight and hearing but makes them nearly impervious to physical assaults, temporarily patch wounds by fusing the liquid with their skin, heat the liquid to boiling temperatures, and in very rare cases, transfer their body instantaneously from one section of their puddle to another with a delayed reemergence. It's rumored that certain Tetsuba could create golden, Copper, and even mercury based liquid metals, but nothing has been confirmed, and their lineage runs so thin that it's difficult to confirm or deny such rumors. tbh copper would be the best to have. Most durable, most conductive, so on and so forth.
Members of the Tetsuba Family are known to have very pale skin, reflective white hair, and silver blood. These effects appear to be purely cosmetic and otherwise have no effect on their biology whatsoever. Pretty sure silver blood affects the biology. What with red blood cells and whatever. But this isn't real life, it's just fantasy. And I'm just being a dick by bringing it up. Oh well.
Tetsuba Shinobi
Strengths: Ray's mastery of Silver release is exceptional, and it wouldn't come as a surprise considering he does not practice any ninjutsu that would not coincide with his Kekkei Genkai.
At his current mastery, Ray can keep a constant pool of Silver going at the full 15 yards from his body for a considerable pretty vague term there, but I'm gonna guess it means upwards of 10 minutes amount of time before it begins to strain his Chakra reserves. His mid-close range combat is unmatched in many scenarios, disallowing easy movement within his radius without immediate danger. His liquid can nullify most wind natured ninjutsu, protect against some earth/water/fire natured ninjutsu, and offer substantial protection from most forms of attacks when hardened en-masse. Ray's agility with his silver allows him to cast jutsu in quick succession, giving the liquid considerable agility when he is focused. You said Ray a few times when you meant Zay. fix plz Weaknesses: Without a ready supply of silver, Ray is practically defenseless, only able to conjure weapons and small short-range projectile type jutsu quickly enough to defend himself. Even with a pool at the ready, Zay is incapable of firing ranged attacks outside of his range effectively. His mobility with the pool is also very slow, and he cannot travel long distances without being encumbered by his jutsu. While channeling a substantial pool of silver, Ray require immense concentration, disallowing him to move his body too quickly at risk of his entire jutsu falling apart momentarily. If he is forced to dodge, or struck by anything that would interrupt his concentration, any hardened liquid could instantaneously melt back down into liquid form, and any silver under his control will fall back into his pool, including any weapons or armor he's equipped himself with. Additionally, his silver is highly-conductive, allowing lightning-natured jutsu to travel effortlessly along the entire expanse of the pool as long as it is connected, or close enough to allow a current to travel throughout. Certain Lightning-natured Jutsu can also pierce through any solidified silver effortlessly, and even destroy portions of his liquid. Conjuring the liquid, albeit quick, also requires an initial Chakra dump that nearly drains Zay of half his energy. Additionally, Zay can only sustain a pool for about 10 minutes called it before he runs out of energy, assuming he rations his chakra sparingly.
I'm okay with this. It's basically like what Gaara had but with different strengths and weaknesses such as range or durability. Just make sure to address my note on absorbing silver.
【Ninja techniques】
【Custom made techniques】
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Forge Rank: D Range: Short-Medium Description: Creates a weapon or device based on the user's knowledge and skill either somewhere in a mirror pool nearby, or in the user's hand using newly created liquid silver. The weapon's strength is on par with average steel, and resonate with Chakra very well.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Constellation Rank: D Range: Medium Description: Fires an array of tiny silver balls from either the user's mouth, or from any point in his mirror pool, with a width of about 15 feet. These have the potential to break skin and heavily bruise upon impact, but are not usually deadly. Can travel up to 25 Feet away from the user despite his limitation, but once leaving the 15 yard radius, they decrease in power to a point of absolute worthlessness. Note: 25ft is less than 15m.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Mirror Pool Rank: C Range: Short-Medium Description: The basis of Zay's Jutsu. Creates a reflective pool as the user's feet that spread out quickly. Can be channeled to extend the range of the pool, or to absorb the chakra infused in the liquid with diminished returns. This liquid can be controlled with the user's Chakra while it exists. The user can sense anyone touching the Silver if they are within his radius, and 'feel' their chakra network. All attacks within range, liquid or solid, are considered part of the Mirror pool.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Boiling Flow Rank: C Range: Short Description: The user instantly heats up a section of liquid silver for a few seconds. Effect persists if the liquid is solidified, allowing for heated jutsu followups. Would contact also hurt Zay?
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Tempid Mail Rank: C Range: N/A Description: Covers the user's skin in a thin layer of liquid silver that can be hardened at will with other Jutsu types.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Solid Wall Rank: C Range: Short-Medium Description: Raises a wall at any point in the mirror pool to intercept an attack. Fast, but not effective as an offensive option.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Solid Mail Rank: B Range: N/A Description: Covers the user in a thick layer of hardened steel. Blocks nearly all forms of attack, but blocks out the user's sense of Smell, Sight, And Hearing. How does silver become steel? Or do you mean it just hardens to a similar density?
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Tepid Flow Rank: B Range: Short-Medium Description: Slices forth with a blade of liquid silver from any point within the user's radius, with enough force to sever limbs. Cannot break through guards, but will not be stopped unless blocked in its entirety; Due to its liquid nature, it will simply phase through swords and around small shields. Technically it'd still phase around swords, not through them.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Solid Flow Rank: B Range: Short-Medium Description: Launches a solid spike from any point in the user's mirror pool. The thicker the spike, the stronger, and slower, the strike. Often used in quick succession to create multiple spikes at once.
Jutsu name: Silver Release: Tether Rank: A Range: Long Description: The user coats his hand in a rubbery silver, with a higher concentration of chakra, and extends it into a amorphous whip, which they can then fling around for about a minute before it loses form. While active, this tether acts as an extension of the user's chakra network, allowing it to exist outside the normal range of the user's pool, and increasing their pool's range to be 15 yards from wherever the tether reaches. This tether can also latch onto targets, including shinobi, but cannot be detached from the user unless they cancel the jutsu. Requires a large amount of chakra it to form.
【Weaponry, tools and objects.】 Zay carries no Ninja weaponry, an to create his own.
There's probably a few things I missed, but I'm mostly concerned with his abilities atm.
Overall he's looking good. I don't have any big issues, but a few small ones I'd like to see addressed before I give it my seal of approval.
Quick question: Do the rebels live in the villages as spies, or do they have their own base?
Yes and yes. Rebels have several makeshift bases of operation, but for the most part individuals have their identities preserved and merely pretend to be allied with the Confederation. The smart rebels that don't get caught are the ones that don't seem like they are rebels. There are some, however, who can be considered "career" rebels whose identities have been found out so they don't hang around the cities unless they are on a mission or soon will be.
Question: Do we need to be providing actual pictures of our characters? Not all of us are artists, or have the easiest time finding "closest to the truth" pictures.
I spend, on average, four hours of actively searching for each picture I use in a CS.
Yeah, all three of us GMs have Skype and use it regularly. We will set up a chatroom that can be used by anyone in the RP with Skype. Just give us your usernames if you want in.
Just to piss off everyone, I'll do my review in blue.
“Yeah, I am that guy's sister. No, I won't get you a date with him. Why? Because he doesn't freakin' like dudes!”
This is already gold.
Standing at a not even surprising 1.64 meters and a rather slim and flimsy frame, it is Amatsurahashi Kanata.
Like her brother, she has fiery red hair and blue eyes, but neither of them are as well cared for as his. In fact, her brother likes to point out the split ends her hair might have.
Her hair is long and usually kept in a pair of twintails that reach her waist. Because men like something to hold on to
Her blue eyes are big and have been called cute several times, by relatives and her mother, mainly.
Her fair skin does have some cream put into it but not the ungodly amounts her brother uses. Like other men, she fears she might catch fire if she imitates her brother.
Her frame is slim but well trained, as expected of any shinobi. The problem lies in her chest, something she has a strong complex about and what often makes others confuse her for a boy (given how her brother is). Another member of the itty-bitty-titty-committee
A teenager who'd like to put as much attention on her appearance as her homo brother, Amatsurahashi Kanata. ayyyyyy
Personnel files. Access only by security personnel with a C3 clearance.
【Full Name】 Amatsurahashi Kanata
【Alias】 Little Sister
【Affiliation】 Undecided *cough*
【Age】 16
【Sex】 Female
【Sexuality】 Straight
【Birthplace】 Kirigakure
【Bloodline】 Amatsurahashi Say it out loud five times, really fast
【Rank】 Chūnin
Psych. report. Medical secrecy applies.
【Personality】 Unlike her brother who has 'shit for brains', Kanata is a lot more normal than her egocentric and metrosexual brother, if a lot more tomboyish than your regular kunoichi. But let's be honest here, what screams femininity more than a girl in a tight suit jumping around and throwing sharp things at others? Her brother.
Foul-mouthed by nature, full of hormones thanks to her age and Kanata's short fuse make her an adorable pack of emotions, insults, bad words and sarcasm all in one.
She's known for not holding anything back, and this has gotten her in a lot more of problems than she's ever wanted to have. Her tongue moves faster than her brain can catch up, hurling insults at people she shouldn't piss off. She depends a lot on her brother Mikoto to get her out of such situations. Sounds dangerous.
An idiot by birth not by choice, Kanata has found herself in more than one tight spot both in school and in the streets. She often comments on how life wouldn't be as exciting if she didn't get in as much problems as she does, though.
Add to all of this the fact that she has several complexes about her body and life and it just makes her the perfect adolescent with attitude problems. She just needs to run away and the pack should be complete.
Among her several complexes, she's got a complex about her chest and an inferiority complex towards her brother. Don't try to mention her height or call her a boy either. k
Overall, Kanata is a short-tempered idiot with a big mouth AND some ability as a ninja. At least she knows how to fight AND when she should just run for it instead of fighting.
"Live to fight another day. Those idiots will never catch me anyway, not with mighty homo Mikoto watching my back." I sense family problems
【History】 Unlike her brother, Kanata was largely ignored in her school years, all the way from elementary school it was just a big whole of... nothing. Have you ever seen your graduation photo and noticed a guy that is there but you never actually saw? If not, that's what several people thought after getting their graduation photo and finally noticing Kanata.
Everyone expected big things from Amatsurahashi this name just keeps popping up and its starting to freak me out Mikoto's sister, only to be let down by the extremely pragmatic and sarcastic Kanata.
Her existence mostly went unnoticed until she finally became a Chuunin. Pairing up with her brother and going out in missions made them a deadly combo.
Finally, people started noticing Kanata and she wasn't sure of whether this was a good or bad thing. Well, she never really did have a lack of friends, she just was in that small group that mostly went unnoticed by others.
Later she determined that it was bad. Real bad. They all came to her with words like 'Oh, did Mikoto have a sister? Never knew.' or 'Wow, to think you could actually do something!'. What came after those comments was most definitely not pretty.
Having gained a bad reputation this time around, people started to actually avoid her. Well, her fame was short lived, and it was good that it was. ... so tragic?
【Family ties】 Kanata's father died before she was born, so she only has her older brother and mother to rely on.
While she is fond of and loves the two of them, she does find them, Mikoto specially, annoying.
Amatsurahashi Haruka | Mother | 42, Kirigakure, Retired Shinobi Amatsurahashi Mikoto | Brother | 20, Kirigakure, Shinobi, Part of the Red Sages, "Full time homo"
【Dreams and fears】 She dreams of one day surpassing her ever so perfect and beautiful brother, or at the very least shake off the feeling of inferiority she feels towards him. punching up is fun
Her biggest fear is not being able to go to the next One Direction concert living in the shadow of her brother. RIP Also to be noted, she is scared witless of Mikoto's imminent death if he keeps doing dangerous things.
Combat reports. Gathered from evaluation reports after missions.
【Fighting style】 Never to shine herself but to give others the opportunity to shine, Kanata's fighting style is a purely supportive one. She can indeed defend herself in hand to hand combat, yes, but her true talent comes out when she is fighting alongside someone else.
Her specialty are ninjutsu and genjutsu used to support a more aggressive battle style like her brother's. She intends to stall, hinder and trip her opponents at every step they give. Even if they are about to hit their mark, she'll make sure that what they hit is nothing more but an illusion she's made. Cunning and brains, not muscles and... more muscles, are what make her a formidable fighter.
She uses water release, but unlike her brother, she uses mist and barriers to hinder her opponents.
Her taijutsu is the weakest part of her fighting style as a whole. She can easily be overpowered by any opponent with more experience in hand to hand combat or otherwise.
Her taijutsu is focused on the use of her legs, since her arms are more like sticks. Her legs, though, do pack quite a punch for someone her height. She uses a combination of muay thai and tae kwon do to keep opponents at bay while she uses her hands to prepare her next jutsu. Kanata also tends to use submission holds against opponents bigger than her, in order to keep them from moving and to give herself more time to cast her next jutsu. So her taijutsu is shit, but her kicks aren't? Slightly contradictory, probably just me on this one.
Thanks to her being bad at taijutsu, she carries even more kunais than the average shinobi.
【Kekkei genkai, or bloodline limit】 Thank God I don't need to fill this longass form ikr?
【Custom made techniques】 Jutsu name: Water Release: Enveloping Mist
Rank: C
Range: Large, it covers an area of 30 meters around the user.
Description: The user, Kanata, releases mist from the tip of her fingers that envelops a wide are around her. It does nothing more, nothing less. Once the mist is out of Kanata, it does not take any chakra for her to mantain it. thrifty
I don't really have any issues with this character. Seems fun, doesn't seem broken. Her ninjutsu game is pretty strong for someone who isn't a heavy hitter but not so much as to be unacceptable. It also mentions she uses lots of kunai but you omitted the weapons section. A small thing, but I'd like it if you fixed that.
All in all I give her a pass. Just be sure to address the small things before I go full on anal retentive about it.
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