Jangel13

Soul Eater: Chaos Rising

uh what?

Attack on Titan - Survival of the Fittest

nobody but you bothered to tell me what was wrong they just said mary sue and assumed I understood what they meant. I know I have problems with the grammar but I would like to point out that its only like that during the occ because im really just trying to put everything down beforehand. thanks to your help though this cs will be able to be approved by someone else. its not that im unoriginal I just want to make sure that since Aot is made as a dark anime I don't want to steal someone on the animes problems so I tried to go with upbeat. ill ask someone to help me make the cs you made better for someone else. thanks again

The Gift of the Gods

Angelo lived high up in the mountain with the other Alituum reading the books that threatened to consume his entire room considering the books reached high into top of the doorway and windows as Angelo kept reading and learning about many different things. Angelo's curiosity would always grip him in different times and he would learn about whatever he thought of, his father lord of the Alituum and always told Angelo that out of his brothers he was the smart and curious one but Angelo didn't stay in his room all the time.

He would go out on a walk and practiced with his sword and shield however he was only allowed to use the sword in the church his mother took him to everyday to pray and learn about the different gods the protected them because of Angelo devotion he was given the churches most sacred item Angel feather told to be given to the church by the gods themselves and the name was given since it was thought that it was this weapons power that gave the Alituum their gift of flight to soar above the clouds, while it may only be a myth its power is no legend. The sword is a sacred weapon and not meant to be handled by anyone other then a clergy member or the one the has earned the right to own it as its master, anyone that did was sentenced to death and the sword would be cleansed of the unworthy hands that touched it.

Angelo would usually stay in his room to read whenever he had the chance instead of going through the many ceremonies or traditions that needed to be followed on holidays or special occasions. During their year preferring to stick to their traditions rather then to accept new ones but Angelo honored all his families traditions for fear it would tarnish him or his family name Angelo had a high opinion of a mans honor and pride that it was everything a man had but Angelo wasn't afraid to do things his way as long as it kept his own honor clean. Angelo doesn't know why he has such a curious mind but one night Angelo had a vision or a realistic dream of a war and he was not leading It but instead he was advising a general talking him into taking odd strategies and battle plans but would win the war with minimal casualties Angelo doesn't know why it is he has that dream sometimes but it just urges Angelo to learn more about war strategies and soon rumors floated about an Alituum that could win any war....

Living in Aincrad: a SAO RP

InvariantName said
Sanshain sighed at the fact everybody was trapped in the game. No matter what anybody said he was a solo player. It's not that he didn't like other people's company, it's the fact he didn't talk much. He found people preferred to be with other people that talked and show emotion. Those are things Sanshain didn't do often. Sanshain was sitting on a rock over looking a cliff in the spawn area. He had nothing better to do. Then he heard a small squeal from one of the boars that wanders around the area. Sanshain looked around and noticed another player. The player had just killed the boar and then went on walking. Sanshain stood and began walking over to the player.

Angelo walked around looking for another boar to kill as Angelo looked through his stats to see how much longer he had till he could level up again but Angelo looked around to see another player going towards him then Angelo waved to him "hey dude what's up?" Angelo asked as he looked through his inventory to make sure he had everything he would need for another attack as Angelo waited for his stamina to replenish knowing that spear skills take a lot of them.

Attack on Titan - Survival of the Fittest

Undying Curiosity said
I don't think a Mary Sue character is what you think it means. Mary Sure, Is a very loose term for a character that doesn't really have flaws, and just seems a little to unoriginal in that sense.A quick summary of your characters personality: To nice to fight, Hard worker, Funny, Not Violent, Persuasive. All the things to a to-good-to-be-true characterQuick summary of his Bio: Helps his dad be a carpenter, To busy working hard to have friends, Mother died giving birth, Stronger than average cause he's a hard worker, Big dreams and ambitions, Wants to leave the walls to build a better place for everyone.Your character doesn't really stand out. It's like someone pulled out the main character from a novel. Your character's inefficiencies are even good: Leaning more to pacifism? How is that an inefficiency To top it all off you didn't read the rules >:cI don't intend to be rude or mean or anything, but maybe reading this will help you further develop your character, maybe even rework his CS and have it acceepted.

no please I thank you for it! finally someone actually tells me what that means! I changed it up I hope its better. I made him bullied a lot and lacks respect. he got teased about it and has anger inside him that he doesn't show if that's not enough I could make my character go through a worse kind of hell to him...

those of silver cross academy (blue exorcist themed)

Okay I'm here sorry I fell asleep

those of silver cross academy (blue exorcist themed)

Wow, intense storyline. Just remember the name you want to give yourself later on and make sure that their is a way to make this part of the story later on as we keep going

Attack on Titan - Survival of the Fittest

I changed him up a little but someone please tell me who im mary sue him from? cause it cant be armen or erin since they wanted to go beyond the wall for different reason to just explore while my character wants to build something great. besides my character wants to join the scouts so he can get out and make a new city and the garrison regiment aint going anywhere to begin with. wanting to go outside the wall or wondering whats beyond it cant be considered a mary sue. my character is a carpenter and prefers pacifism against people I had another character I tried but the gm said that was a mary sue to

Attack on Titan - Survival of the Fittest

(just thought id try)

Name: Angelo Ortega
Gender: male
birthday: January 13
Appearance: (except darker skin and no wings)
District: Karanese District
Personality: Angelo is a hard worker but he is usually a very nice person to others whenever possible. He can be sort of a clown sometimes trying make up lame jokes on the spot to try and ease peoples tension choosing to use his persuasion to get people to get along instead of fighting with others but it wouldn't be helpful because trouble would always find him and he wouldn't fight, if possible Angelo tries to stay out of conflict all together since he isn't a violent person to people and as a result goes home to his dad with more bruises and black eyes then he could count.
Bio: son a carpenter from wall maria. Angelo didn't grow up with many friends except his pet dog because he wouldt try to hurt him when he tried to help him so he followed him around mainly because Angelo always kept food out for him when he came by his house so Angelo named him shadow because the dog always seemed to sneak around easily Angelo didn't have many friends since he always worked hard with his father and he was an easy target for real bullies while Angelo wouldn't fight Angelo never really forgave them for it but he never showed it. His mother however died when she gave birth to him so because he was always busy building new houses with his father gathering wood and moving blocks of cement it made him stronger then most average people working was all Angelo was good at to be honest since he has no social skills when it comes to making friends and nobody would want to be the friend of a "giant weakling" as the bullies would call him. Angelo was told to be strong by his father so he wouldn't get picked on so much but Angelo just couldn't find the heart to find someone smaller then him he always told him as he did work while kids his age would walk by and laugh at Angelo, although Angelo was a strong person he was also shy and hated to fight simply to prove he was strong but the thing that Angelo always wanted to do was go outside the wall and help build a grand utopia for everyone, Angelo always built houses and small accessories like fountains with his father but Angelo always wanted to start something from scratch and make something amazing, something that would eco through time as his creation and his idea alone. While Angelo would go back and forth between lumber yards and quarries for the wood and stone he would need for a project he would sometimes see the garrison regiment talking about how it was easy to be them and Angelo even saw some scout regiment soldiers coming home bloody and near death from a recent mission outside the wall but Angelo couldn't help but feel they risked a lot for a little gain but Angelo respected their path since they had the courage to do what nobody else would even think of doing they seemed so strong and even respected by people and Angelo wanted to have that so he would never have to fight anyone, Angelo started to think that he should put his strength to use and prove to people he wasn't a weakling and someday make his dream a reality outside the walls and what better way then to be a scout and expand their world beyond the walls and build a place where it could be a thriving city where Angelo would be remembered as the architect for a new city more beautiful then the one they already had and be respected by all. so Angelo went into wall rose and he wanted to join them, Angelo probably guess they would call him a fighter but Angelo was simply a person that wanted respect and had a dream of a new home for everyone where everyone could be at peace.
relationships: Father that was a carpenter, and a dog that always followed Angelo around so Angelo named him shadow
proficiency: intelligent in finding ways to win the battle, can help repair 3d gear on site if necessary with his tools
inefficiencies: a pacifist and hates to fight people, 3d gear he isn't very fast on it and that makes it harder to get around titans
other: wears a gold Angel necklace that his mother had, it is very special to him and friendly or not if someone messes with his necklace he will beat them down...

I <3 3DMG

Attack on Titan - Survival of the Fittest

Name: Angelo Ortega
Gender: male
birthday: January 13
Appearance: (except darker skin and no wings)
District: Karanese District
Personality: Angelo is a hard worker but he is usually a very nice person to others whenever possible. He can be sort of a clown sometimes trying make up lame jokes on the spot to try and ease peoples tension choosing to use his persuasion to get people to get along instead of fighting with others, if possible Angelo tries to stay out of conflict all together since he isn't a violent person to people.
Bio: son a carpenter from wall maria. Angelo didn't grow up with many friends except his pet dog that followed him around mainly because he always kept food out for him and Angelo named him shadow though Angelo didn't have many friends and his mother died when she gave birth to him, because he was always busy building new houses with his father and gather wood they would need which made him stronger then most average people. Angelo was born to be strong his father always told him as he did work that kids his age wouldn't be able to do, although Angelo was a strong person he was also shy and hated to fight unless absolutely necessary but the thing that Angelo always wanted to do was go outside the wall and help build a grand utopia for everyone. Angelo always looked around seeing the garrison regiment being lazy and talking about how it was easy to be them and Angelo even saw some scout regiment soldiers coming home bloody and near death but Angelo couldn't help but feel proud of them because they had the courage to do what nobody else would even think of doing, Angelo started to think that he should put his strength to use and help people someday and what better way then to be a scout and expand their world beyond the walls and build a place where it could be a thriving city. so Angelo went into wall rose and he wanted to join them, Angelo probably guess they would call him a fighter but Angelo was simply a person with a dream of a new tomorrow.
relationships: Father that was a carpenter, and a dog that always followed Angelo around so Angelo named him shadow
proficiency: intelligent in finding ways to win the battle, can help repair 3d gear on site if necessary with his tools
inefficiencies: short tempered if someone hits the right button with him, 3d gear he isn't very fast on it and that makes it harder to get around titans
other: wears a gold Angel necklace that his mother had, it is very special to him and friendly or not if someone messes with his necklace he will beat them down...