Avatar of Kalleth
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    1. Kalleth 10 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current So I guess I should've watched Firefly ages ago, huh?
4 likes
9 yrs ago
Bleed over my grave, and plunge in the stake. Don't give me a break, when you're on the take.
9 yrs ago
Expanding Horizons Players! Join up with The Reapers of Castletain if you're looking for a group to join!
9 yrs ago
Swearing in other languages besides the mother tongue is ceaselessly amusing.
9 yrs ago
The Second Labour awaits, and I am ready to pursue it. FEAR NOT FELLOW GUILDMEMBERS, I SHALL BRING YOU GLORY ON THAT DAY!

Bio

I like language.

Speak to me.

And I'll tell you more.



Most Recent Posts

@71452K

During the first half of the first week of the voyage to the Lightless, an elegantly scribed note appears without being noticed on Ricardo De Vigil's cot. It reads as follows;

Dearest Alchemical Addict,

While I gladly thank you for your uncharacteristically generous behaviour as to the haranguing of everybody's favourite innkeeper, and said man's insistent attempt to throttle yours truly, I thought it in your best interest, in light of certain remarks made during the encounter, for you to do some light reading.

You will find, listed below, an abridged recounting of my many conquests, be they woman, man, or Savolin. And yes, they're awfully small, I don't recommend using the traditional technique on the last, else you might inflict undesired contusions or avulsions. Do not be surprised if some of the names that appear on the aforementioned list are those you recognize from popular tales or songs, as no doubt, you've heard some of my compositions prior to now, but were as of yet unaware of their composer.

I have been compiling this list since we set sail, and owing to its volume, I was unable to render this note to you sooner, however I have thanked you personally, and in doing so, hope I conveyed the appropriate amount of assiduous gratitude. After all, those pungent fern saplings seemed awfully impressed by my gravitas. Or at least, they bowed quite dramatically when I rubbed against them on my way to deliver this note.

-Sincerely, your humble travelling companion,

Vice-Captain Fiers Hartwine

P.S. I was being serious while taunting him you know, in fact, it's actually twice as bad as I made it out to be! She initiated the kiss! I suspect her father keeps her pent up in her room and the tavern serving people instead of letting her go out to find a proper boyfriend. In any event, perhaps you'll indulge me in an academic question, as to why those pungent ferns are turning an unfortunate shade of orange?


Underneath the elegantly scribed note is an actual journal, filled cover to cover with names ranging from those of Giltaris' lover, to that of a consort of a prominent member of the Council. A cursory examination will quickly make clear that this journal is comprehensive in the ages, names, and countenances of its entrants, and the tally numbers well into the thousands.
Whomever posts next, Fiers has found you. :D




Betrayal, came for the bard as he sat on his cot, restringing his lute. He'd been unbearably sea-sick, and aside from his own personal flask of whiskey, he'd consumed nothing the whole day. And even he, fool though he might be, inferred the full implications of the black-clad men charging into his quarters. It was of course, impossible for him to do much of anything at all, but he managed two reactions, both fairly thoughtless. The first, was to whisper, "Fuck," and his second reaction was to take the spools of his lute strings wound tight, and shove them in his breeches.

The men seized him by the wrists, the bard took another breath to shout, give warning, anything, and then they knocked him out.




When Fiers felt the coarse wetness of the beach against his cheek, and a wash of saltwater swept over his bottom half, he knew they'd been fucked. He opened his eyes and tears welled, the stinging of salt burning, and he slowly lifted himself into a kneeling, half-bent position. Something was grinding against... his balls? Fiers went south, fished around, and found to his pleased surprise that there between his legs was one set of spindled strings for his lute.

That set his heart beating in a panic, not that there was only one string of course, because that in and of itself was a godsend, but because he hadn't been wearing his lute when he was presumably thrown off-shore. He finally straightened to a semi-erect posture and looked round. Just to his left, as loyal as they come, lay his lute. Fiers didn't really pray to any god, but he thanked all of them for this miracle. He brought the instrument to his chest and clutched it softly. It was damp. He didn't have any semblance of dry cloth to use to dry the lite and that pained him, but he'd seen lutes go through worse and still carry a tune. It saved him the troubles of stealing or carving a new one. His lure on the other hand... that was solid metal, and he somehow doubted that it would be anywhere other than the bottom of the ocean. Fuck, I'm lucky I'm not at the bottom myself!

Fiers finished taking stock of what he'd been left. His rapier of course, was a familiar weight at his hip. He would actually have to kill with his rapier now, no training left, no chances to try again. He also had both of his coin purses, for the thief and for himself, though he suspected gold didn't carry much value out here. Could you eat, fuck, or skin gold? No, you couldn't, but you could be damned sure that any of those three worked just fine on people carrying around gold. Fiers bit his lip, biting off a stream of curses. He hated being backed into a corner, with no outs. He felt the medallion dangling from his neck and rubbed it loosely. He had that as well, so all couldn't be lost just yet. But aside from his lute, his blade, his damp clothes, and what amounted to a pile of useless shiny metal in terms of survival, Fiers felt naked. No supplies, no disguise, and no knowledge of what to do next.

Fiers looked up, past his immediate location on the shoals, and scanned the beaches, the caves and rocky promontory, the sinister wooded area beyond. They'd been sent here presuming full equipment, organization, and support from the crew of the Sea-Stalker. Assuming then, that support amounted to throwing over their equipment along with their unconscious bodies, Fiers had about as much support and equipment as he was going to get for free. As for organization...

Fiers groaned, both drugs, fatigue, and a well-deserved bruise to the gonads weighing him down, but he managed to get into an unsteady crouch, and that was both all he could manage and all he wanted to accomplish. In this half-light, any obfuscation Fiers could gain from unfriendly eyes was worth it. He could barely make out a silhouette in the distance, and so Fiers made for it, lure in hand, strings pocketed, clutching his few possessions tight to prevent any unnecessary noise. Perhaps he was being paranoid, but the sounds of the waves lapping against the coast seemed eerie. There was something underneath it, bearing a lingering semblance of menace.



Seems I killed the rp.


I literally cannot do any more without pretty much asking Zel to come in and have Fiers killed. So I'm waiting for Zel. Dunno about the others but, I'd rather have Fiers' reactions interspersed with his actual actions.

Quantify how one kills an RP, anyway.

Fiers finished his short insolent little tune, and the cacophony of voices he elicited from his fellow members filled his heart with glee. Given as he was to causing mayhem, his mischief was interrupted by a pair of voices, each giving their own kind of answer to his previous question.

Elsie's reply made Fiers crack a smile, and he formulated a reply instantly. Letting the syllables roll off his tongue like raindrops, he exclaimed, "Why, the only thing that I've gotten stroked is right here between my-" At this point Fiers actually registered what Reiggy had said immediately after.

"Ahem, my uh, my pride." Fiers looked at the faces of each of the members of the company, and even at the innkeeper, searching for a hint that they were pulling his leg. "Seriously? They made me Vice-Captain? Not Captain? Is it because they heard about my legendary history, and renamed the title of Captain Vice-Captain? No... Reignald the Old as our Captain eh? I suppose you probably have the most military experience of the bunch, so it's only fair. But me? Vice-Captain? That's not funny at all..."

Fiers hopped back onto the dock, snatched up the letter that the innkeeper was holding onto and tore it open. After reading it a couple times, he wiped the sweat from his brow. "Well fuck me softly and call me a new whore! This is in writing! Does it say this on all of your letters?" Fiers skipped from member to member, trying to peer at their letters, before finally coming to a rest back where he'd started, next to the innkeeper.

Fiers put a caring hand on the man's shoulder, and looked deeply into his eyes, adopting a sincere expression. "My good man, in light of my recent promotion and in order to live up to the responsibility and dignity of the station that has been bestowed upon me, I feel it is my honour and my obligation to inform you, that I stuck my tongue down your daughter's throat."

In the blink of an eye, Fiers darted back over the gangplank and onto the ship, his lute swinging wildly around his neck as he twirled past Ricardo, and planted himself on the gangrail, his head in his hands. His voice took on a mournful and regretful tone, one of such sorrow as could actually bring tears to one's eyes.

"Humble innkeeper, furthermore, your daughter... she," Fiers paused for dramatic effect. "She stuck her tongue down my throat too!" And the bard collapsed into a heap behind the rail, cackling and shaking with delight. Whatever else happened today, the look on that sorry man's face would be worth everything else.
Fiers' shoulder was weighed down by the gauntleted hand of Reignald the Omen, and he half-snorted in laughter, and half-choked in a panic. He'd gone rigid, and his mind was fluttering from jibe to jibe but in what seemed half a heartbeat, Reignald had already taken his hand off of Fiers and was turning to address...

An orc? That's odd. He seems like a jovial fellow, though I can't imagine why he'd-

Fiers burst out laughing, his howls drowning out both Rosha's admonishment, and the crooning of Alya's flute for a span of seconds.

"The Virginal Company? That's hilarious! And what a gathering of innocent virgins we are! A seasoned general, a cold bitch with fists for her tongue, a Songweaver without a tongue, an alcoholic orc, and myself, well, I need no introduction! Yes, truly we are quite the group of untested whores," Fiers cackled, pointing to each present member of the group, before his eyes fell and he spotted R'Ornn. "Ah yes, that most revered and weathered of us all, His Most Feared and Respected member of the Virginal Company, rumoured to have actually been in the bedchamber of a member of the opposite sex while a modicum of danger transpired outside its doors, I present to you; our crystal puppy. I'm told that women are quite fond of his adorably childish features. And you'd be surprised what you can do with a crystal, given the proper inspi-"

Fiers paused in his tirade, cocking his head, had he heard that? Completely forgetting his address to the other company members, the bard sprang up the gangplank and dropped his newly purchased things into a bag which he then tossed down into the brig. A clattering sound ensued, followed by angry shouts but the bard had already turned back towards the docks, to face the others and asked, "Why are the juniors talking about Vice-Captain Hartwine? Is there something I've not been told?"

With a flourish, Fiers took his lute off his shoulder and played a flurry of arpeggios and a veritable storm of notes, subconsciously infusing the musical barrage with a raw form of inquisitive anger that implied that he should have been the first one to know the information that had been withheld. In the deep and thunderous rolling of the short piece, he captured the size and authority, the tempered expectation and stern iron-clad strength that Reignald seemed to carry on his shoulders as naturally as Fiers would his own lute. He rarely did solely instrumental pieces, and even more seldom improvisation, but the emotion took him and he bombarded the crew and company with a true outpouring of righteous indignation. He kept it brief, so as to avoid dulling the sensation, but ended with a high contrast note that set their ears ringing, hoping his point would come clearly across.
Interested!
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