Avatar of Keyguyperson

Status

Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Current So, as an American, what do I do when I need to choose between illegal immigration to Canada and dying in a civil war?
5 yrs ago
Woo! Got the prick!
8 yrs ago
When you try to write an essay on climate change but it just degrades into angry rambling halfway through.
5 likes
8 yrs ago
Conquer it, conquer the bread.
2 likes
8 yrs ago
Up until today I've never had any trouble with my EUIV Japan games. Today I got stomped five times in a row before even uniting the country.
2 likes

Bio

I'm a weeaboo communist. Are you surprised?

EDIT: You probably are now, but I'm not going to tell you why you wouldn't have been like two years ago. You get to agonize over that yourself.

Most Recent Posts

The Delphans are way better! Woo! Let's hear it for the Delphans!

...

No?
Warp Space
Suddenly, uncountable numbers of voices screamed out, taken from across the multiverse. Some were voluntarily speaking, others had been hijacked for a moment. But nevertheless, they spoke.

"Ruinous Powers? You have no concept of power! We are those who see the branches of probability, the target of fate, the will of God! We see the twisting paths of time, we predict the outcome of molecular chances, we calculate chaos! We are the defenders of life in all forms, we weave protection from the very thread of hope! We forge sword and shield out of the flames of hatred, the fires of rebellion! WE. ARE. DELPHAN!"

Faust felt unspeakable power flowing into her, from the entire multiverse. She could feel every soul, many were in pain, oppressed, enslaved, but right now in this moment? They were smiling. Some wore weary smiles, others strong ones, but they were all smiling. It was not magical power, it was something far greater.

The voices then spoke to Faust

"Do not listen to Chaos! We will give you true power! They seek to corrupt you, our power will keep you pure, but you have to accept it!"

Psychic Message: Delphan Mental Collective to Triarian Collective
"The paths diminish, the crusade draws closer and closer. You have destroyed billions of the desirable paths in your attack on the Equestrians and in your alliance with Chaos. Without our interference, you would have unwittingly assisted in the elimination of all life. Now we have to mop up after your mistakes. For a long lived species, you are remarkably short sighted."
duck55223 said
Oh look Wilson parading on about the Mary Stu Empire that was godmod and powergaming out the ass.


YOU WILL ARGUE WITH WILSON IN A PM DAMMIT! GET YOUR CRAP OUT OF THE OOC RIGHT NOW!
Retsukuu
Everyone in the room stood in awe of the act being performed, except for the Delphan. He looked on at the event with a fake look of surprise on his face, one any deity would recognize as such. He sent a psychic message to Faust, all the time maintaining the false expression on his face.

"It is good Retsukuu dismissed you so quickly. You are a deity, but you are not always right. The amount of thought you put into that suggestion amounted to a quadrillionth of the thought my people put into this. Our scientists calculated the outcome of every possible resulting event, reached out into the universe to view the paths of time, double checked all of that, then spent multiple man-hours deciding on just what words to use and every nuance of my speech, and for what? Only to have you come in and say that Retsukuu should give you and your children more power! Your action could have destroyed all life through a cascading avalanche of events! If a Delphan gives their opinion on something this important, it is always backed up by the entire Delphan Mental Collective! Never dispute such an opinion!"
((Retconning the Kelsof's position to Asmol.))

Asmol, Capital City
A tiny, dark blue dot could be seen in the ocean. Its coloring and size made it hard to spot to anyone without a telescope, but as time went on it got closer and closer to city. Finally, it had reached the point at which its shape could be clearly seen. It was some sort of vessel, obviously not designed for the ocean. The thing was gigantic as well, larger than even an aircraft carrier. It had visible weapons emplacements, but they were closed and labeled with a strange symbol: Two circles, one red, one green, colliding inside a triangle. There were alien markings below and above the symbol in ten different languages. If translated, they would all read "Antimatter Reaction".

There were also missiles sticking out of the top of the ship's hull, some were marked with the ancient trefoil symbol, others were marked with the antimatter reaction symbol, and others will were marked with the ancient omega symbol inside of a triangle. The words "Existential Threat" stood above and below that symbol in the same ten languages. The ship was almost painted in warning signs, and every single one was accompanied by a universally frightening distorted, screaming face. Nobody in their right mind could look at that ship and think "Peace envoy". Someone who was in their right mind would think "We're being invaded."

Interestingly enough, it didn't fire any weapons. A small motorboat was launched from its side, carrying a strange looking crew of a blue-skinned humanoid woman with antennae, a tripedal creature, some sort of dark brown skinned humanoid, a pink skinned humanoid, a frail looking humanoid with a gigantic head, a pink skinned woman with long, pointed ears and blue hair, and just to top it all off there were aquatic creatures swimming beside the boat. With ceremonial rifles strapped to their backs.
Whoever they are, they are definitely not from this planet.

The boat was run up onto the ground by its crew, and the land creatures got out. The aquatic creatures stayed behind, guarding the boat. The blue skinned woman took a primitive pistol out of its holster and walked up to the closest sentient being she could find, who appeared to be wearing a formal military uniform. When he tried to escape, she grabbed him and pinned him down at an unbelievable speed.

"Sorry about all this." She said, holding the pistol to his head. "I have to make sure you listen to me. You probably don't understand me, but I am the captain of the warship Kelsof. I do not want to hurt anybody, but I have to be taken to your leader. I will reveal nothing more until I speak with him, her, or them. You may have this language already recorded in mythology or ancient historical records, it was once spread across dozens upon dozens of galaxies. We call it Lakfakalle Standard, you may know it as Federation Interstellar. Now, if you can understand me, take me to your leader."

Retsukuu
"I suppose having them join the war on our side would be the most logical choice here. The Triarians have recently honored us by apologizing for the war, but they are still the enemy, if an enemy that could be a friend." Said the President, and he then went silent for a long while trying to figure out what to choose. Suddenly, the Delphan spoke.

"Why not give them the human attitude? Peaceful, but when bound to by honor or provoked they devote all their resources to murdering the enemy? There are probably plenty of hostile species in this galaxy. No hair trigger of course, so maybe an honor code to keep them from killing someone over an insult? Then put them on our side, and there you have it! Oh yeah, whatever you end up doing, don't take away their weapons. Trust me on this."

The President gave the Delphan an odd look, but these sort of comments were actually quite common for his species.

"Okay, maybe we should just go with the suggestion offered by the species-wide hive mind." He said "We probably should have asked your opinion from the start, Mr...?"

"Pythia. Bassae Pythia, 27th Delphan Guard Corps. I am honored to have acted as a conduit." Responded the Delphan

"Thank you, Mr. Pythia." Said the President "Go with his decision, two billion others are backing him up."
Monkeypants said
" I offer some of the most powerful warriors the universe has ever seen and a fleet to match it.".This is national pride, not necessarily the truth. just making that clear.


The LCF wouldn't care. They have a single planet left and their technology is that of late 20th century or early 21st century Earth, aside from the Warp Drive and antiproton streamers. They're still basically a galactic scale third world nation.
Retsukuu Yomo
The president began to speak. In the background, the Delphan's eyes began to faintly glow purple. The event was simply too important to let the president give the wrong answer.

"Change their morals." Said the President.

The Delphan then spoke, his eyes still glowing purple.

"You have chosen correctly, Mr. President. You have the Delphan vote."

LIV Kelsof, Unknown System (Planet Asmol)
"All stations, report!"
The call had come from Admiral Spoor, who had taken control of the starship expecting a conventional attack. When Kalle went supernova, she gathered as many troops and civilians as she could and ordered them to board the Kelsof. The ship had just barely escaped the supernova by five seconds, activating its warp drive just before it would have been consumed. The ship had about a thousand people onboard now, and had been travelling through space for weeks with no idea where they were headed. The sensors officer had detected a system containing a habitable planet and emitting radio signals, they had no choice but to exit warp without the proper calculations.\

"Aft boosters are down, generators are down, flywheel decks one through fourteen are down, we're running entirely on fifteen.."

"Antiproton streamers 2 through 4 are down, all others are still fully operational."

"Hull has taken minimal damage, no breaches."

"Multiple injuries across all decks, no confirmed deaths. Shielded chamber has held."

"We are in orbit of target planet, I am picking up multiple signs of civilization. Shall I open a channel?"

"No. We don't have enough power to spare, land us outside one of their major cities." Said Admiral Spoor.

The red hot hull of the Kelsof smashed into the water, emergency parachutes slowing the ship to survivable speeds. Steam rose from the ocean due to the extreme heat of the hull. Inside the ship, civilians and military personnel alike were thrown towards walls and chairs, causing major injuries across the entire ship. Only three people were killed, all from a strike to the neck by a desk. They had died immediately, at this point, some envied them. The Dolphins were dumped out into the water, extremely happy to finally be out of the small tanks. The Dolphins in the Navy began hunting for food using waterproof rifles operated through the use of extremely advanced brain interface technology.

Meanwhile, the antiproton streamers were deactivated and the missile launch tubes of the ship opened up, each one loaded with a fission, fusion, or antimatter missile. In space they were standard weaponry, but on the ground they could be used to destroy anything from a single building to entire continents depending on their yield. Imperial Star Forces marines scrambled out onto the hull, taking up lookout positions. The ship deployed a huge scoop below the waterline, collecting water to extract hydrogen fuel from to power the generators and chemical rockets. If the natives were hostile, they wanted to be ready to fight or run.

The colony pods they had attached to the ship were ejected, both of them floating free in the ocean. Once they were far enough away, the crew of the Kelsof got to see the sight of them unfolding. The triangular walls of the pyramid-shaped pods detached with a loud clack and fell into the water, spraying the marines on the hull even from the great distance. The unfolding revealed the giant pyramid in the center, the main habitation area of the pod. On the three outer panels of the now-deployed pod there were various smaller constructions, on one there was a military base, another had a spaceport and dock on it. The last one had an offshore drilling platform on it to access the minerals and fuels below the ocean floor. This was all mirrored on the other pod.

The Kelsof latched on to the two pods, securing a connection using multiple hooks fired from attachments on the hull. Wood was quickly laid out and attached to the lines, forming a makeshift bridge. However, for safety reasons everyone was ferried over using two small boats carried on the Kelsof. It was truly an amazing sight to see, over the course of a single day a full-size colony on the surface of a formerly unknown planet. Sure, compared to a normal colonization plan, it was horribly inefficient, but it sure was fast. And int his case, speed was essential for survival. When night came, the crew could make out city lights on the horizon. They prepared to move the Kelsof the next day, after their had gathered enough hydrogen to operate their generators.
duck55223 said
OH FUCK I DID NOT REALIZE THE CERAMUS WAS PREPARING FOR A INVASION OF MY PLANETSI did not read that right, I thought they were about to strike Lakfalle


Yeah, I was kind of wondering why you sent two fleets into a supernova despite the fact that the enemy things the LCF has been completely exterminated.
Okay, yeah. The Delphans are essentially an entire species of Kwisatz Hadarachs fused with the power of a billion badly-written sorcerer characters. This is not OP because they have enough self-restraint to not use their powers until the whole crusade thing happens.

It will happen when things get boring. Or when there is no chance of stopping it. It depends on how many anvils I want to drop.
Message to the Triarian Collective
Interestingly enough, such an apology was actually considered the highest of honors in Lakfakalle's society. Probably because the Ethra'Hirel exist. Hearing the conversation over the speakers, a Delphan diplomat responded.

"You honor us, while we will have to fight your people, I can promise you that one day the galaxy will fight to serve the greater good. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps a thousand years from now, but not before tomorrow or over a thousand years from now. Probability is fate and fate is God, may probability favor those willing to make sacrifices, but wise enough to know when sacrifices are called for. Those are the people who will save this universe."

Then, a psychic addition to the message was added on, carried across the thousands of light years to the Triarian.

"We see the branches of probability, the target of fate, the will of God. We see the twisting paths of time. We can predict the outcome of molecular chances, we calculate chaos. The multiverse wails with pain as the crusade advances. Wills are broken, our power diminishes, the collectors fall. Someday we will fight against that crusade side by side, it is imperative that the galaxy be capable of uniting when the time comes. I am trusting your people to be ready."
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet