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4 yrs ago
Current So, as an American, what do I do when I need to choose between illegal immigration to Canada and dying in a civil war?
5 yrs ago
Woo! Got the prick!
8 yrs ago
When you try to write an essay on climate change but it just degrades into angry rambling halfway through.
5 likes
8 yrs ago
Conquer it, conquer the bread.
2 likes
8 yrs ago
Up until today I've never had any trouble with my EUIV Japan games. Today I got stomped five times in a row before even uniting the country.
2 likes

Bio

I'm a weeaboo communist. Are you surprised?

EDIT: You probably are now, but I'm not going to tell you why you wouldn't have been like two years ago. You get to agonize over that yourself.

Most Recent Posts

Lunar Station
"I'm sure we will be able to come to an agreement between our governments, what concerns me are the terrorists. They are drawing support from moderate members of most large religions, who think your demons posing as angels or something. To be honest, with Fergus revealing that he is Iscandarian, they might just hate you. Fergus has had some... well... you tell them, Fergus." Said the Constable, motioning to Fergus

"Yeah, a lot of them don;t exactly agree with my views on, er, certain subjects. Usually involving... let's just say that their religious texts specifically say that something I fully support is appalling and all who allow it to exist will go to hell. Even after the whole 'incident' in Huntsville, those intolerant views still persist. Our religious tolerance laws prevent us from stopping them, and as a result, the religious majority of humanity sees your people as demons, in the most literal sense. We might be able to deal with them, orbital strikes can easily-"

An odd sound came from Fergus' pocket, it sounded like music, but definitely not in any language the Iscandarians had been exposed to. In fact, the language was completely alien. it was hard to believe that the cultures that created English and this other language even lived on the same planet. He quickly reached for the source, tapping a few buttons on what appeared to be a small electronic tablet. The music stopped as he put it up to his ear. His face quickly changed from a look of mild worry to a look of horror.

"Well, looks like we'll be testing that a lot earlier." He said "Move into geostationary orbit and open fire. Leave nothing standing, don't send anyone down to take prisoners, just rip that cell apart. Make the others thing twice about trying to murder innocent people because they don't want to commit genocide."

He put the device away, and quickly turned to the diplomats.

"Apologies, more terrorist trouble. We should get to the meeting room, quickly."

He began to float towards the room, which was apparently only a small bit away from the docking port, and in a straight line as well. Extremely helpful in microgravity. After a short float, the group entered the meeting room. It was quite simple, a single table in an architecturally unimpressive room. Interestingly, the walls were decorated with pictures of seagoing vessels, aircraft, and spacecraft. Some appeared quite old, many of the sea vessels had giant masts with what were probably sails hung from them, and one of the aircraft looked absolutely worthless. In fact, it probably wouldn't fly for any practical distance.

The table had what seemed to be white cloth covering it, almost certainly some sort of tradition. On the table there was a variety of different foods, at least, it was probably food. Some was definitely recognizable, mostly the plant based dishes. Many others seemed more like works of art than food, and others still looked completely ridiculous. One in particular appeared to be a slab of ground up meat sandwiched between two dome-like slices of bread. The meat clearly had more ingredients on top of it, including multiple differently colored pastes, perhaps signifying different flavors. Another one of the dishes was simply repulsive, it was like the odd meat/bread dish, but was instead lengthwise. Instead of ground meat, it had a long cylinder of meat (at least, it was probably meat) in the center, which to be honest, looked like it was manufactured in a factory. Overall, that dish was just repulsive, especially with the erratic toppings it had on it that made one slightly sick. One had to wonder why they would put such repulsive food next to such beautiful dishes.

"If the sight of meat is repulsive, I can have all dishes involving meat taken out." Said the councilman "We wanted to show you as much of our cuisine as possible, the dishes such as this one are from specific cultures."

He pointed to a plate that seemed to be decorated with brown objects and (surprisingly appetizing) paste, apparently, those objects were actually food. He then pointed at the odd meat/bread dish.

"The ones such as these are taken from the global culture, though they were associated with the United States for a time, it was a large nation in North America. The reason they are so popular is because they are cheap to get, quick to make, and easy to eat. People often eat similar dishes while in their car. Oddly enough, there may also be a genetic disposition towards such food. You see, it is extremely rich in certain nutrients. So rich, in fact, that one meal is usually more than any one human actually needs in a day. Our ancestors hunted prey by simply chasing it until it ran out of energy, at which point they killed it and took any usable parts back to their camp. This required a lot of energy, so we became conditioned to eat the richest food we could find. This is not a good thing by any means, displayed perfectly by the fact that another United States stereotype was that anyone from that nation was morbidly obese."

Saturn
The moment the fleet realized what had happened, they slowly backed away from the alien vessel. A single message was sent, as they charged their engines in case retreat was required.

"What 'Warden'? We haven't taken a single non-human prisoner in our entire history! This 'Warden' may be in the system, but we definitely don't have her in our possession. Surely we can be reasonable here! We can give you search rights, or even help you! Just give us a description, surely you can understand out situation! We haven't even left our solar system, much less developed the capability to wage war against a species as vastly powerful as yours! We could only gain extinction from lying to you!"

Sazkarjhit Contact
"This is the bulk transport Icarus, we apologize that you have been transferred to us, but the vessel you contact is multiple light minutes away. The comms lag would be far too great. Our vessel is only a few hundred kilometers out, and they have decided to let us make first contact. I'm no diplomat, so don't expect me to be that formal. We're kind of surprised that you responded, you see, that transmission was actually meant for a different vessel. What surprises us even more is that you didn't run, instead you calmly explained why you were here. That's good enough for us, you've earned quite a bit of trust through that action. I'm willing to answer any questions you have to the best of my ability."

Mars, Sol
A blue patch of light stood out against the red Martian sky, just above the setting sun. If the same color was in the sky on Earth, nobody would care, but on Mars it was an alien color. One only seen through telescopes. Sure, cryogenic trips from Mars to Earth in an hour or so were possible, but nobody outside of the military and those funded by major corporations actually had the money to pay for the expensive process. So they made do with that rare patch of sky that reminded them of their homeworld, which now felt like a distant place, alien in all ways.

However, as is human nature, they were not content with the harsh red rocky soil and gigantic biospheres, in which they grew just enough food to last until the next trade ship. They wanted something more, the ability to breathe outside the artificial biospheres, the right to tell any visitor that they earned that ability. It was an odd goal, for it would not be accomplished for centuries. For some reason, though, they decided that they might as well get on with it. Thus they planted the algae. With no life to consume the oxygen it put out, the terraforming project was making good progress compared to the somewhat pessimistic predictions.

A convoy of odd vehicles rolled over a hill on treads, obscuring that little patch of Earthly blue. Headlights illuminated the red ground in front of them as they rolled up onto the rim of the awe-inspiring crater. The tank-like vehicles were gigantic, probably closer to the size of an old 18th century frigate than the side of a tank. With the light gravity and thin atmosphere of Mars, they worked perfectly fine.

As they rolled over the rim, their crews began to swarm for a good view. Most of them were fresh out of university, trying to get something that would look good on a resume. Not the best choice for an inspection crew, but the head of the project had learned that if someone is offering to do something for just room and board, then you should always say yes. Especially if they're actually more qualified than some of the people asking for money.

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?" Said the head of the project, staring out into the vast expanse of green algae. "We've got one of these in every nearby crater, this is the largest though."

She pointed to a small building in the center of the crater, barely visible from the rim. It was definitely prefab though, just like every other building outside a biosphere.

"And there's our home for the next couple weeks, now remember, no matter how welcoming it looks, don't take off your helmet. You do that, you're dead in minutes."

The crew didn't listen, they were too busy taking in the sight. Most of them had never seen anything green outside of a biosphere before, the algae aside the red soil didn't quite register for them. Suddenly, one of them called out to the project lead.

"What's that?"

She quickly got up, leaving the driver's seat to a nearby botanist. The person that called out was one of the interns, a man who had majored in xenobiology. With the Iscandarians, it suddenly seemed like his major had actually meant something. He was looking out of one of the telescopes, which he quickly surrendered to the project lead.

"There was something moving out there." He said "Can you see it?"

"Oh my god..." She responded, her breath taken away "Whatever it is, it's not a vehicle, and it's not in an environmental suit."

The convoy came to a stop, and the rest of the crew just stared at the two. Finally, someone spoke.

"There's no way algae could produce enough oxygen for that in a few years!"

"Then what the hell is this?" Said another "Some remake of Red Planet? Are we going to be attacked by space cockroaches now?"

"A bunch of aliens that literally look like angels are on Luna Station right now, talking over dinner." Replied the first "I think that's plausible at this point."

"Move us in!" Said the project lead, turning to face the botanist. "I'm suiting up."

After what seemed like an eternity of driving, the convoy reached the unidentified lifeforms. It was clear by now, they were not human. It must have been an intimidating sight, gigantic vehicles lumbering towards you over a sea of algae. The convoy, despite being made up of large vehicles, was still able to outmaneuver the aliens, forming a circle around them. They did, however, go to great lengths to appear non-hostile. They moved in a deliberate fashion, taking great care to not go anywhere near the aliens in case it would look like they would try to run them over.

The hatch on the largest vehicle opened, and the project lead stepped out. She was accompanied by the man that first sighted the aliens and another man who had served in the military for a few years in order to get his education paid for. They slowly walked towards the aliens, with their hands kept far away from suit pockets. They stopped a few meters away, and activated the external speakers of their suits. They didn't expect the aliens to translate the language, but they thought that a soothing tone and the intent to communicate could go a long way.

"I am Oumou Nasri," She began, pointing to herself "I am a citizen of the United Terran Federation, we mean you no harm. We wish to welcome you to the planet Mars, the closest planet to our homeworld, Earth. We are attempting to terraform it, these plants were put here artificially to produce oxygen, the element we require to survive. If you can somehow understand any of this, please respond. No harm will come to you."
Kyelin said
I guess it could be


*Furious typing noises*
Hmm... Algae? Dry soil? Aliens mentioning a "Warden" being in humanity's possession?

You know, I would totally assume you're talking about Mars there if we weren't individual sentient beings.
hacher5 said



Congratulations! You have won twenty-five million Keyguy points! Keyguy points are accepted at all shops where Star Trek memorabilia (And other geeky/nerdy merchandise) is sold!

Disclaimer: Keyguy points can be redeemed nowhere, and have no actual value in any way.
Kind of surprised nobody has made a Spice and Wolf/Wolf and Spice reference here. That was kind of the first thing that I thought of when I saw this.
ASTA said
I kind of don't care which fictional nation is better; I'm interested in alien psychology and alien biology as well as any possible culture that may follow. Not who's better at spaceship battles or who can make the most wanked-out super solider.


This. FUCKING THIS.

Cale Tucker said
First of all, I said I didn't care who Rogue was. Second of all, why don't you both just drop it? Tell me, no, tell Keyguy what the Title of this thread says. The more that Rogue is talked about, the more accusations as to who Rogue is and/or how shitty Rogue is will end up in a thread massacre. Dammit I'm all for discussions and free topics but jeezes, this has gone on long enough. This is not progressing the roleplay. Now if Keyguy is actually fine with you two wailing and going at each other, fine. But I don't need to witness it at every refresh. This stuff has gone on before I joined and after. Now it may not be my place to barge in and say stop seeing as how everyone else has stayed calm but can we please further the roleplay?Is Rogue in this roleplay? No. Has Rogue corrupted or affected this roleplay? No. Is Rogue here? No. Rogue is/was an individual that played in a roleplay. and has nothing to do with this roleplay, whether or not he inspired any actions or results within this roleplay.The only thing making him relevant are two players accusing one to be the individual and another simply speaking about what the individual did. What does he have to do with the roleplay and why must people be outcasted and berated because of him against each other? That is not a public event, that should be handled with PM's and not broadcasted to be forced on everyone else.


I am sure as hell done with those two constantly having slappy fights, and if I see ONE MORE POST from either Wilson or Duck in this thread about the other powergaming/metagaming/eating puppies/making OP nations/being Rouge/LITERALLY ANYTHING RELATED TO THE ARGUMENT then VERY BAD THINGS will happen to both of them. Involving hammers.

They can hiss and swipe at one another all they want, but not in the OOC of the roleplay! Take it to a damn PM! You know that number at the top of the page? That's how many PM posts you have. If it goes up, then SOMEONE MESSAGED YOU. CHECK IT IF IT GOES UP. If for some reason you still keep arguing here, then please refer to my previous statement about hammers.

As a guideline for what to say here and what to take to a PM, if it has an insult, then PM. If it is constructive criticism, then OOC. If it's an insult in response to constructive criticism, then the correct place to post it is up your ass.

(On a happier note, personal post length record in the IC! Woo!)
Lunar Station
The Försvarere av Humanity docked with the station as well, the crew was surprised that the alien vessel's docking port had been compatible. Fergus two others exited the craft, heading to provide security for the meeting. There had been reports of other craft being sighted, and he wanted to make sure the Council and diplomats could be evacuated if there was any trouble.

Floating through the air with his robes flowing behind him, a councilman met the diplomats at their docking port.

"Welcome to Lunar Habitation Orbital 001, this is where the Council meets, Earth is too dangerous now. I'll take you to the meeting room. Only the habitation area of this station is on a gravity ring, so it'll be microgravity the whole time. Since you seem to have been spacefaring for so long, I assume you're used to it. If for any reason it irritates your species, just pick up a space sickness pill from a shop. They've been ordered to give them away for free to non-humans."

A man wearing a bulletproof vest floated up as well, a coilgun assault rifle strapped to his back. A small LED screen displayed the number of shots left, as well as the temperature of the barrel. Apparently, Terran weapons had heating problems. Strangely, he also has a sheathed sword. Such a weapon would be completely worthless against even Terran technology, so he was probably carrying it for ceremonial reasons. It would certainly make sense, the Terran species seemed to be at least somewhat violent.

"I am Constable Florentin, head of station security. Due to the... side effects of your arrival, I am escorting you for your entire stay here. If you see anyone wearing one of these symbols, please notify any security officer."

He gently threw a datapad of sorts towards the captain's hands. It was displaying numerous symbols, most of them had some kind of weapon in them. Some swords, others coilguns, but there was always a weapon, as well as a seemingly harmless symbol that didn't make any sense to aliens.

"Anyone who bears these symbols will try to kill you and others, do not hesitate to attack them if there is no security officer nearby. I hope it will not come to that, but I have to inform you of the dangers. Now, we can get on with this. Please follow Councilman Chinwe to the meeting room, we can discuss the treaty there."

Sol, Saturn
As the meeting continued on the Mandalorian vessel, the sensors officer onboard the Battlecruiser Mjolnir suddenly cried out.

"Captain! Ladar shows an object a few light seconds away, it has changed direction multiple times! It has to be artificial!"

"Another one of their ships?" The captain responded, a calm caution in his voice.

"No, the ladar silhouette doesn't show any kind of design resemblance... no way, two alien cultures? What the hell? Is everyone else in the universe just really, really bored?"

"Dammit! Rotate the ship, bring that vessel into the sights of our main cannon!"

The giant battlecruiser turned with surprising speed, but at the expense of vast amounts of mono-propellant. The spinal electromagnetic cannon turned to face the unidentified vessel, a sight that would be quite intimidating to any Terran. After the Battle of Mars, mandatory adjustments were made to the projectiles so as to give them a coating of argon plasma. This allowed them to impact and damage shields instead of glancing off them, as well as increased effectiveness against armor. A message was transmitted on all frequencies towards the unidentified craft, the soft words accompanied by the gigantic stick that was the electromagnetic cannon.

"This is Captain Fridtjof of the United Terran Federation battlecruiser Mjolnir, your visual silhouette does not match any Terran or Iscandarian designs, identify yourselves immediately. If you refuse to comply, your status will be defaulted to hostile and the main cannon of this vessel will open fire! That weapon fires a twenty-inch, argon plasma coated slug at some of the highest velocities the Star Forces have ever seen. Feel lucky that I did not simply obliterate your vessel immediately after detecting it!"

Pluto, Sol System
"Brace!"

There was no atmosphere, as the dwarf planet was going through it's cold season But as the shells came down from orbit, the vac-suited soldiers could still hear the impact as the ground trembled at the awesome power of a battlecruiser's main cannon. The alien troops were killed almost instantly, their lifeless corpses being blasted into orbit due to the world's weak gravity.

"Shit! Shit shit shit shit!" Cried one of the soldiers over his radio, frantically meddling with his coilgun's acceleration mechanism in a panicked manner. "Dammit, the third coil is broken! I'm going in!"

Before the commander could say anything, the soldier leapt out of cover and reached for a ceramic tube of sorts, which was hanging in a holster on his belt. He was killed immediately, the ceramic tube flying off onto a ballistic trajectory along with his body. Another shell came down, happening to hit the body head on, completely shredding it. A grotesque spray of blood and flesh was all that remained of the soldier, and a similar fate befell the alien invaders.

"Aerials! Full burst, go right towards them and keep your bayonets up!"

The aerial soldiers knew that it was a suicide mission, but they would never disobey the orders of their commander. He had cried over dead soldiers before, they knew he wouldn't send them to die without a plan... or knowing that they would all meet the same fate.

The squad thrusted towards the sky, plumes of monopropellant marking their takeoff. Their jetbacks burned for a few short seconds on the RCS, then a rocket engine activated, pushing them towards the alien troops. A spray of bullets from their coilguns took down a few of them before the troops were shot dead, but inertia sided with humanity, and the aerial soldiers slammed into the alien troops with bayonets raised. A few of them were taken down, the last stand of the aerial troops taking place after death.

Everyone knew that the bodies of those brave soldiers wouldn't be recovered, but seeing proof was never easy. Another shell came down from orbit, right down on the aliens. The horrifying spray of blood and flesh was shown to the soldiers once again, just another mental scar in the many that they had earned that day. This time though, it didn't just float into orbit. Frozen drops of blood-human blood- were sprayed on the troops, melting for a second due to friction of their helmets. To their horror, it just refroze again, bits of skin mixed in with the crimson liquid of human life. A few shot themselves right there, some due to complete insanity, others because they didn't want to live with the memory. Regardless, all it did was create more sprays of frozen blood in the human ranks. Luckily, it didn't have sufficient velocity to melt, instead landing at their feet as a hellish snow, inspiring horror in the ranks.

"We should have never left Terra!" Yelled the commander in tears, his white suite forever stained with the crimson hue of human blood. At that point, all of his troops knew that they had no chance. The commander had lost hope, their commander, the person that memorized the names of the dead and promised that he would one day give a speech for them in the light of Centauri.

The soldiers of the squad laid down their coilguns, knowing they were beaten. To their surprise, the tech was lit with the blue glow of argon plasma. Looking at it's source, they found the commander's plasma saber. His face, barely visible through the frozen blood and flesh on his helmet, displayed a broken smile.

"WE WILL NOT GIVE UP!" He yelled "WE FIGHT THEM! WE FIGHT THEM TO THE LAST MAN, AND THEN SOME! FOR TERRA!"

"FOR TERRA!" Came the unanimous cry from the troops, and they too activated their plasma sabers.

Leaping up into the air, they moved forwards so fast that only a few were hit. They landed in the middle of the enemy formation, and began swinging their plasma sabers indiscriminately, chopping the enemy troops in half. Some tried to block with their own melee weapons, but the plasma sabers cut straight through them. The humans fought with an almost insane passion, despite knowing perfectly that they would all die there. As their numbers dwindled and it came down to the last two men, they grouped together side by side, swinging their sabers with the hope that the other might possibly survive. Somewhere deep down, they felt something they had suppressed for so long, something they wished they had dug up sooner.

It was at that exact moment of revelation that an alien chopped into the vacuum suit of one of the last two survivors, and oxygen began to hiss out. Time almost stopped, and the commander kicked the alien before driving his saber right through it's head. Kneeling down beside his dying comrade, their eyes met through the blood and flesh on their helmets. They had the same look, as if they finally knew peace. Holding his comrade in his arms, the commander made his last promise to one of those under his command.

"Whatever comes next, the terrorists were wrong." He said, as the aliens closed in on them "We will be welcome."

After finishing his sentence, a shell came down from orbit. Both of them accepted their fate, and let themselves be shredded and crushed by their own weapon. Nether had ever believed in anything in particular, but they somehow felt safe, as if there really was something that came next. But all anyone else could see was two men with a relationship forged in the fire of battle, and ended in the fire of battle. Just before his death, a single through rushed through the head of the commander as he looked up at the sky for the last time. A single shining star was the focus of his eternal, millisecond-long gaze. He somehow knew it was the system he had always dreamed of, Centauri.

I was always in the light of Centauri.

Then everything was gone, and all anyone else could see was blood freezing two masses of ripped flesh together, as if it was their natural state. That mass of blood and flesh was launched into orbit by the impact, to forever drift through the void of space. It was what both of them had wished for.
TAPnRACKit said
Hi everyone,Just a quick shout to Keyguy or whoever else might be GMing to take a peak on page 24 to see if my character is approved or not. I know a lot is happening so I figured it may have just gone unnoticed. Let me know and then WilsonTurner, wouldn't mind taking you up on that offer to crash on one of your planets if character is approved.Thanks


Apologies, my post was probably brutally murdered by my worse than dial up internet speeds. You're accepted.
EDIT: Leaving this up just in case you're okay with another deity, if not, I probably won't be joining with a nation.

Name: Urania (Goddess)
Powers: Urania is the Goddess of intelligence and curiosity, and as such has the power to give someone an idea or information. She is also the Goddess of exploration, often helping people attempting to discover something. To complement her role in exploration, she is the Goddess of the Sky, and by extension, the wind. She can control the wind across a region or in a localized area, and many of her followers believe that she can speak through it.
Holy symbol or symbols: Urania's most common symbol is a vague silhouette of a bird (some believe it to be a dove).
Role in the pantheon: Urania is usually considered a minor deity, but some cults believe that she is the patron Goddess of the entire human species. Explorers usually pray to her quite often, in the hopes of making a great discovery. However, as she is one of the few deities that can communicate with mortals in a conventional manner, many consider her to be one of the most powerful.
Practices: Followers of Urania partake in various symbolic rituals, usually involving some sort of hunt for an object or a simple race to see who can get furthest from the starting point in the allotted time. These rituals are non-specific, and can vary from town to town. Interestingly, there is no place of worship like a church, worship is instead carried out through the rituals and by serving knowledge. Thus, many followers become explorers and scholars. Sacrifices are not common, but it is often believed that sacrificing a newly discovered animal or even plant will grant those carrying out the sacrifice the favor or Urania (Many because it is believed that Urania herself wishes for new experiences). These sacrifices are the only ritual which is specific in it's instructions, and if the slightest mistake is made then the sacrifice is considered to be less worthwhile (though it is still believed that Urania may favor them, simply because of the intent of serving her).

If that whole "talking through the wind" thing is too OP, I can take it out.
I always liked to think that warfare in the original eventually just devolved into ramming conflict, and the giant system-ships just used FTL to reach the enemy and ram them. Because aside from blanketing an entire system in indiscriminate fire, they really couldn't do anything else. The death toll for a single battle could easily be in the billions, trillions if a system-ship was taken down.

That gives a whole new perspective on the fact that I was having the AIF spiral down a militaristic path, they were completely ready to cause trillions of deaths for what their culture calls right. Pretty short-sighted.
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