Loony

We Are the Crystal Gems

@pyroman Life is fine. It's me Pyro.

I'm not going to get better.

Each year I get progressively worse and now I should probably be in jail or some shit and the only reason I'm not is because those kid's parents beat their children all the time and I'm supposed to be better but I'm just going to end up like them. If not worse.

I have no control over myself and life doesn't mean nothing until you give it a meaning.

And I'm not giving mine one.

My death will be the meaning I need.

We Are the Crystal Gems

Because this isn't something new. I've been fighting it for a while.

I've been fighting it for a while and I never wanted to hurt anyone.

But that's the case anyways while I'm alive so why not.

I've been holding off because I didn't think I could get away with it. Just like before. So many people in the house.

So I tried pushing boundries a bit and just...It was okay. No one noticed. And the one person who did didn't care.

All it is now is just taking the freakin' bottle and not being such a wuss.

We Are the Crystal Gems

I don't know what to tell you guys.

I'm really sorry. I love you all, honest.

But I'm pretty keen on this.

I'm not really sure how to handle this, just...Would it be better if I just left now? Or would staying around until I do it make you happier?

I just...I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes I wished no one loved me so that killing myself could be so much easier.

We Are the Crystal Gems

I can't respond to any of this.

I keep shaking.

I'm so sorry.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Raijinslayer Please Raijin. I'm the problem. It's not life.

It's me.

And it's okay.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Pathfinder I'm going to be okay after this. I'm just going to hurt others otherwise.

I'm sorry Path. But I've lost friends to suicide, and let me tell you. It hurts. It really does, but you learn to cope with it. And you'll go on with your life and it'll be okay.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Pathfinder
I love you guys all too. Don't doubt it for a second. But I just can't take myself anymore. I'm the problem. Life's not the problem. I'm the problem. And Life needs to be rid of me. Not the other way around.

@Raijinslayer

Well, I'm glad that's the case, glad you feel like I've done some good.
All good things come to an end though. And it'll mean so much better for so many other people.

We Are the Crystal Gems

I'm hurting you all.

Please just forget about me.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@21308 I know they love me. They shouldn't.

I'm just hurting them and they'll learn to heal after my death.

It'll be for the better.

I'm sorry Spinna. I really love you. I love you all. Honest.

But I'm too selfish to let that hold me back.

I'm sorry.

We Are the Crystal Gems

@Raijinslayer I hurt people Raijin.

I'm no good.

I'm useless for everything other than hurting the people I'm supposed to be hanging on for.

And I'm probably hurting you too by telling you this.