Tatterdemalion

Monster Hearts: Sleepshy Rise

WEREWOLF MAGNET
SECOND PLACE
2 XP

If Timmy could see this... but he isn’t here. The name of Mother Nature is Now. The name of the devil is Love. The name of the want in Elodie’s chest, burning, burning, is Margot.

She kisses her like the horizon kisses the dying sun.

[6 on Turn Margot On.]

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Alina!

“I have been quite busy since my return to my kingdom,” Shazari says, flexing how important she is. Ugh! Is it always going to be like this, the back and forth duel? “My sister was instrumental in informing me of what you have been doing while I helped our husband mend. Evidently, you not only saved the entirety of Hyperborea’s royalty at the Crystal Gala, but also resisted the temptation to take up possession of the Wicked Queen’s power and not only saved the Bazaar but created an intriguing opportunity in the process.” Of course she’d be thinking about how to leverage the Watch’s chaos (you should ask Adila how they’re taking the return of Old Adila next time you see her) for Jedad’s advantage, but also... this is much more complimentary than you were expecting. What is she doing?

“When I was deceived by Ninian, the Rider, I allowed her to guide me into open hatred of you. I was easily convinced that your contempt for our sovereign pride and need to flaunt your own puissance had induced you to steal our most sacred treasure, kidnap my sister, and threaten everything I hold dear. And yet every action you have taken during my absence has proven that I was not only wrong, I was unworthy of judging you so. I let our rivalry blind me to your virtue.”

Shazari, Princess of Jedad, kneels before you and bows her head, which is now about level with your collarbone. “I must beg for your forgiveness. Without it, my guilt will gnaw at my bones until I am undone, a wreck bereft of hope among the dunes.”

***

Adila!

“The first thing that you will do,” the Captain says in a voice that brooks no disagreement, “is apprehend Oberon Greymane and deliver him to justice. No princess of the Watch would give up on her case halfway through the pursuit. Do you want me to die of shame?”

Oh no the nightmare is real you are getting scolded oh noooo

“Then... I don’t doubt you’ll want to travel. See Feloria. Or Devilhome.” Her smile is a knife, and one you’re glad isn’t at your throat. “Go off and explore Hyperborea." Which... doesn't answer the question of what she intends to do. Of course she's holding that close to her chest. Hard to ferret that out of one of the oldest members of the Watch around.

***

Kazelia!

Azora’s smile is beautiful. It’s honest and amused all in one. It’s the first time in a very long time that such a smile wasn’t at someone else’s expense—

That’s when the lariat falls down over your shoulders and cinches tight, pressing you up against your seat. Oh. It was, in fact, a smile at your expense.

“Hello, Rita,” Ninian chirps, as you’re grabbed from behind, a sweet-smelling glove clamped over your mouth. “Did we do a good job of distracting her?”

Traitors!!

“You did a great job,” Rita chirps! “Good signal.” She conspired with Ninian, huh? That gleeful grin on her face is very much the Ninian you know and love.

“Now, since you did ask,” Azora says, as Rita loops her line around and around your chest, pinning your arms to your sides, freeing your mouth up, “I think I will take to the more... martial aspects of life here. I know more about magic than any of the silly witches here; it is kidnapping where the true challenge lies.” She floats a scarf across the table and rubs it teasingly against your cheeks. “As soon as our father is defeated, the kingdoms of this world will begin fierce competition to capitalize on the instability he caused, and a skilled defeater of princesses will be highly valued.”

“Especially if she’s vouched for by the saviors of Hyperborea,” Rita says, finishing her knot work and letting Azora drape the scarf across her palm. “Though you are doing no vouching today.”

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Alina!

"Oh, I just need a moment of your time," Shazari says, playing the reverse card, absolutely adamant on not moving from where she stands. "I feel we need to discuss your actions while I was... indisposed." Oh. Oh, boy. She's talking about the crown jewels, isn't she? She's totally talking about them. Your options here are to scamper away and induce her to hunt you down, or to try and think of something clever while verbally dueling with her. And you probably can evade her! It's not like you haven't done it before, after all! And it's not like she'd try to hold your family hostage to... wait, would she be that petty? She's tapping her foot! Quick! Make a decision!

***

Adila!

Several very lucky rolls of 8 later, you have muscled everyone out of the running and claimed the crown of Queen of Konkon. There is applause! There is pats! And as your fellow ex-Watch members cycle to different tables, the Captain nods, once, in respect.

"Well done," she says. Then: "What do you plan to do now?" Her one eye is keen in the low light of the bar, and she doesn't plan to take any prisoners or accept any feeble attempts to answer evasively. How unfair that she is so composed, so calm! Her life's work is circling down the drain and she's acting like you just defeated a triple Princess incursion!

What does she know that you don't??

***

Kazelia!

"And what do you intend to do, Kazelia?" Azora's tone is frosty, but you sense, for a moment, a chance to maybe possibly make a small crack in her armor of ice. If you have an answer that makes her believe you do have a plan for what you'll do after your father is deposed and you bring the machinery of invasion to a shuddering, crashing halt, condemning your people to a simple, even pastoral life in Hyperborea, then she might allow herself the indulgence of envisioning, even if for but a moment, her own place in that new world.

You do have one, don't you? Surely your ambitions don't solely end with your father... well, there's a second question. What do you think will happen to your father? He won't stop. He won't be swayed through argument that maybe he should give up and learn to live a simple life here. He wants. He wants and he wants and he will never be satisfied until he has claimed every last beautiful thing in this world. How can you protect your new home from him? How will you?

Masks: Resurrection Roundabout

POTENTIAL 1

"Hey, Angel-IKA!" This isn't a hypothetical interjection. You'd think that! Sara is the sort of person to commonly use sarcastic fake conversations to make a point, but she actually has started a call. "Hey, girl! Just wanted to let you know that you've got a new manager!" She flashes Locker a grin, and he's probably doing the calculation here, right, about whether or not Sara actually is making this call right in front of him. "When you've got a moment, let's talk about your brand and the-- I'm talking about your superteam, obviously! You, Bode, Ferraphim, Dommy and Locker! Do you have a name yet? No? We'll brainstorm."

Click!

"Wow, that was easy!" Sara's grin is the last thing a tapir might ever see, before a blur of orange and black and gleaming white brings its peaceful existence to a shuddering halt. "Thanks for the idea, man. This is going to be awesome."

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Kazelia!

“I want to be a hairdresser,” Ninian chirps. “Or a general beautician, I guess, but I want hair to be my specialty. Look like a whole new person or your money back!” She closes her eyes and bounces her hair with the air of a satisfied Jedadi matron.

And that makes sense, too. After having her ability to shapeshift denied her... of course she’d want to share her expertise, her eye for appearances, to be as close to her old self as she could. She’d never be the chaos-sowing shapeshifter again, but at least she could still make others change.

Azora makes a very judgy sound. And right after you said she wouldn’t! Just because she’s accepted she’s essential and needs to help you take down your father doesn’t mean she’s on Hyperborea’s side yet, any more than Asteria was. Is. She’s probably whipping some helpless villagers into shape right now.

But dealing with a rogue princess? That’s the sort of thing you can do after your father is stopped. Then you can focus on things like “make sure Azora doesn’t become a wicked queen” and “stop Asteria from creating a kingdom under her wicked heel” and even “find a place for your people.”

Now there’s a question. Where are the Riders going to go? Ilumina probably doesn’t want to take them in, after all...

“That’s beneath you,” Azora says, rolling her eyes. “You are a princess, not a peasant.” Ninian looks to you, only not cringing away because she knows you’ll stand up for her.

***

Adila!

”For she’s a jolly good dragon, for she’s a jolly good dragon, for she’s a jolly good draaaaaagon, which nobody can deny!”

This isn’t officially a Watch event. It can’t be! The Watch doesn’t exist any more! Adila I said so herself!

This is just a bunch of people who happened to wander into one of the Watch’s favorite taverns together and ordered everything off the menu. This is a spontaneous party for people with a raggedy hole in their heart and badges stuffed in pockets and memories. Lots and lots of memories.

People rotate from table to table as takes their fancy, eat whatever’s in front of them, go looking for tables that ordered their favorites, fill each other’s glasses, and sing. No one’s in charge of the singing; someone just picks a new one after the last one peters out, and if you want to sing it, you join in.

But at your table? You’re trying not to radiate bashfulness as the Watch sings the Good Dragon song. Part of you even suspects this is tactical; the Captain has been pressing you hard, and may be hoping that by flustering you, you’ll be willing to accept an ill-advised deal from her.

You must remain strong.

Two sheep for one silk is a terrible deal, and you are not going to aid and abet her in getting the Most Princesses score chit.

***

Alina!

Euphie’s laughter is a ridiculous high-pitched giggle-snort, and her noogie suggests that, while she’s over the moon with happiness, she still noticed your sneaky critique. Momma tenses for a moment when she sees Euphie wrap her arms around you, but just for a moment. Maybe it’ll be a long road for Euphie to find her redemption... but you have every confidence that one day, she’ll have earned everyone’s trust again. One day.

But you still have to deal with what she left behind.

When you slip outside to run a quick errand — what was it, exactly? — you notice one of the huge, hulking glass centaurs in the garden. It’s being talked at by Shazari, who looks resplendent in a gold-and-emerald robe, her hair beaded with fat tears of gold, her nail extensions the color of the sun at dusk.

“...and my vizier will issue the passes when you deliver to him this seal.” She passes the centaur a gaudy royal seal shaped like the snake-husband curled in on himself, reaching deep into his palm to let him hold it safely despite his fingers like knives. It lowers its head and forelegs in a bow, and then slowly makes its stately way through the garden. Phew! If you’re very quiet—

“We should talk, Cascade.”

Oh, fiddlesticks. That’s her Danger Voice. Maybe you might be able to run for it? No good, she knows where you sleep. She’s making no move to come to you, expecting that you’ll crawl over to her; the way she stands almost makes the thought of her approaching you ridiculous. Other people approach her.

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Adila!

A hand, gentle. A legacy, observed. The Captain stands with you, Adila. She’s there, leaning on her walking-stick, and she’s resting her hand on your wing.

“You did good, Adila,” she says. That’s... it’s equivalent to her setting off fireworks and throwing you a parade.

“You’re still a princess to me,” Juniper Blue pipes up, on the other side of you. Like that’s what is breaking your heart! The idea that you might no longer be a princess, not that your family has just officially been dissolved, its ultimate purpose fulfilled.

***

Kazelia!

“How should she know?” Azora’s tone is clipped and frosty. Of course she’s prickling; she was the one who was always winning. It’s only natural she’d be upset by the idea of having the board leveled. Might as well kick her last remaining footstool out from under her. “She lost the one thing that made her special.

Ninian cringes and clamps down on her answer. Instead she lowers her head and shovels peppered egg into her mouth. Azora looks at you, frostily, right in your star-streaked eyes.

“Why didn’t your eyes change?” It’s as much accusation as question. And... oh. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know. You admitted that you let Mother into your heart back during Eupheria’s invasive introductions, but she hasn’t let herself come to terms with what that means. She doesn’t know why your Mother accepted your heart, and she doesn’t know how much you’ve grown since you left home.

***

Alina!

Euphie makes them with fruit! It’s anyone’s guess which one you’ll bite into; she mixed a bunch of them into the batter, berries and diced apples and lemons and peaches and strawberries! Most of the bites, it works. Sometimes, the flavor’s odd and off-kilter: like her, not sitting down, flitting around the table and trying to deal with the uncertainty of not being able to command you to say how you felt about them.

“Eupheria,” Momma tries, and gets drowned under a wave of “no no it’s fine just tell me what you think aren’t they just so sweet and I wanted the flavor to be kind of you know voom wow kaboosh and I haven’t done this in like forever but how hard is it to make pancakes like really they’re impossible to mess up I didn’t mess up right?”

Without Caddy, she’s not the ringmaster anymore. She’s a desperate clown with a mouth full of patter and a heart full of need.

Masks: Resurrection Roundabout

POTENTIAL 1

“A team of wannabes, huh?” She reflexively ignored the Aresteia suggestion; she’d always thought of that as a Dumb Sports Game. She did not know the rules, and she wasn’t about to start learning them now. “A plucky bunch of do-gooders as part of the @SARAHPHIM brand... that’s got potential. Of course, I’d have to set them up with med care, some therapy, but it could be a pretty good outlet for some kids I know.”

She grins impishly. “How does the thought of me yelling at you motivate you to get out of bed, huh? You could be... Lockerphim! Nah, that’s maybe stretching brand too far. @SARAHPHIM Presents: Locker! Locker: a SaraTeam Associate!”

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Alina!

It’s late morning, and the room is full of the smell of Eupheria making pancakes in the attached mini kitchen. The shawl wrapped around your shoulders is peacock green, which clashes with your violet silk pajamas. You’re perched on the arm of a plush chair with a mug of iced sweet tea in your hands.

Welcome back to the House of Hospitality.

“So now that he’s lost all of his kids,” Jess is saying, lying on the couch with her head in Momma’s lap, “and he failed to get the Caduceus... he’s out of cards to play, right? So you should wait. Let me go back home and rally some of the pegasus riders, bring some more princesses back, and when we show up at his creepy jungle lair, it won’t matter how many awful things he can turn into.”

“I doubt he remained,” Momma says thoughtfully. “If I were him, I would have gone to ground the minute I saw Alina take the Caduceus. If he has any sense, he’s a moth hiding in a tree, or a snake curled up in a log right now.”

“He’s not like that,” Jess says, frowning. “He doesn’t believe he can lose. Right, Lina?”

***

Kazelia!

The answer to so who talks first is Ninian.

“Crazy, huh?” She looks at you, then at Azora, then at you. She’s got her hair up in a bun today, and is wearing — of all the things — navy blue overalls. “The three of us on the same team!”

What nobody at the table has breached yet is whose team, exactly, it is. Azora is studiously not looking at you, sawing through a sausage with surgical precision, her fork and knife moving on their own.

She’s going to try and take your spot on the team. She has to be in the spotlight. You know that and she knows that. So the question really is...

Who makes the first move?

***

Adila!

“I am proud of all of you,” Adila I says, softly. It’s the first sign of honest, unguarded emotion she’s shown in her whole speech thus far. “And I know I will be proud of all of you for as long as you stand by the tenets and ideals of the Watch. As our founder... I hereby dissolve the Watch, taking its arsenal into my custody with the intent of dissolution or concealment within the Labyrinth. You are, one and all, freed of the Bronze.” She hesitates, a moment, and you see the twitch of her lips. “I would dismiss you, but I have given up that right. Do as you see fit. That is all.”

The parade ground erupts into quiet, frantic conversation. Already some of the younger recruits are swinging their packs onto their shoulders and heading out for the gates, but most are clinging around the Old Bastards.

Who approaches you, looking for support, Princess Adila Formerly Of The Watch?

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Eupheria!

Caddy buzzes faintly beneath your fingers. Even with the cloak between the two of you, even with Adila holding you close, even with your great-granddaughter holding your best friend... it’s all you can do not to desperately unwrap him and hold him close and tell him it’s not his fault. It’s like telling a freshly-glazed porcelain pug you don’t love it. He’s so confused and distressed and all he wanted to do was give you what you wanted.

You bite your lip so hard you see stars for a moment. It would be so easy. You’ve been the Wicked Queen for so long. Can you be anything else?

You look up and meet Alina’s pretty green eyes. They’re just like yours. The changes she made faded away after she let Caddy go, washed away in the rain. (For the most part. Her conjured lights punched through a window and whistled away.) Around her, her lights glow, especially her Gold. It darted to her the second she let go of Caddy. Your own neons glow back, nuzzling your neck and shoulders. (What were their original colors? You still don’t remember. Little steps.)

“Alright,” Alina says. “I need you to... no, I mean I'd like you... please. It's time to put all this away, ok? The Labyrinth and the Bazaar can't be the same thing anymore. So please, help me fix this. Let's pull the two apart, and let the people have their lives back."

Things shift. There’s a sound like grinding, and a feeling like all of you are falling. The light in the windows goes out. You’re all underneath, now, like those silly Devils, and the Bazaar’s probably above.

You lick your lips.

“Caddy,” you say, your voice hoarse, “we want you to play hide and seek. Hide as deep in this Labyrinth as you can, and don’t let anybody find you. That’s how you win.” Your voice threatens to crack. You’re sorry, Caddy. Of course he just wanted to help. You know that. You think about laughter and running and ready-or-not as hard as you can, and feel Caddy trying to understand.

“And when people come to try and find you,” you add, blurting the words out so that you can’t choke them back, “I know you’ll want to give them what they want, but you have to do it sneakily, okay? Otherwise you’ll lose the game! You can, you can change the Labyrinth around them until you understand what they want, and then you should give them a chance to get it! Just please, please don’t give up! I believe in you!”

Before you can succumb to temptation, you jerk your hands away. Caddy’s whispers fall silent for the first time in forever, and you bury yourself in Adila. She holds you. For once... she holds you.

When you finally let yourself look back, Caddy is gone.

***

Diana!

You can tell when Oberon is coming. Frost makes its way along your protective charms and a shiver runs down your spine, as it always does when he is near.

You’ve bought as much time for Alina as you can. Lying to Oberon is like running a marathon down a tightwire. It’s never been a question of if you’d eventually fall, but when. Still, he’s seemed to believe your excuses, how your spells will be ready once he has the Caduceus, how you are close to being able to safely lower the wards that protect Argossa.

When the door to your sanctum swings silently open, you curtsey and lower your gaze. “Your majesty.”

“It is time, Diana.” A chill grips you. He did get the Caduceus. It’s time for you to unleash your plan. “Come with—“

You activate the runes sewn into your shirt sleeves and barrage him with meaningless illusion, a disorienting party trick. By the time he recovers, you should be away. You grab your broom and dart past him, abandoning everything in that nasty magical laboratory Azora Howl helped you set up.

And to your credit?

You almost make it out.

End of EPISODE 6: Return of Eupheria!
Tune in next week for the FINALE!
And don't miss the bonus web-exclusive short connecting the two: Calm Before The Storm!

Princess-Champions of Hyperborea

Jessamine!

“So what happened to the Caduceus is dangerous, Lina?” You clench your hand into a fist. You want to pull her down and give her a noogie until she stops being silly. Unfortunately, while she’s holding that, she might, oh, turn your hands into pillows or something. “Look at yourself! You are this close to becoming the next Wicked Queen!”

She really does. She has the helpless princess purring in her clutches, the flowing gown, the impossible beauty and the dangerous fragility of her happiness. Your sister is this close to losing herself to the story, and you won’t let that happen! You can’t!

“Put it down, or I’ll make you put it down!”

***

Dandy!

It’s hard to say whether the words echoing in your head or the dragon nuzzling your shoulder bring you back to yourself. Maybe it’s both, it was always both. You groan and squeeze your eyes shut tighter, too exhausted to look. Nope, not going to look.

But self-deception and blindness are ultimately disguises that we drape upon the truth in order to avoid it. What kind of princess runs away from the truth of her self? The silly kind, is what. With a groan, you sit up, your wet hair flopping into your face. Ack. Plfft.

On the one hand, Alina’s going mad with power, but if she won’t listen to her sister, she most definitely won’t listen to you, and that’s not what Adila’s hoping you’ll fix. No, it isn’t. She wants you to save her namesake and the wicked queen herself.

A princess’s work is never done.

You wade over to them through the rain and kneel beside the two, to listen, to offer a helping word when it is needed.

***

Adila I!

“You abandoned me! You betrayed me, locked me away, and you stopped caring about your responsibility when I won your war! And all I wanted was... you said we were supposed to win the war... save Hyperborea... I believed in you, Addy...”

Her voice is thick and choked with tears. The Felorian hands her a hyacinth-patterned handkerchief and Euphie loudly blows her nose for an exceedingly long time. The Felorian pats Euphie on the back, making noises as if soothing a horse, and then looks at you with eyes like glittering stones.

“I think Eupheria’s owed your thoughts from the heart, ma’am,” the Felorian says, with the gentleness of earth trickling down onto your tomb. “Tell her what you should have told her back then.”