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    1. thedman 6 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current Who needs drugs when you can just stand up really fast
7 likes
5 yrs ago
I think I need a new razor. Shaving feels like rubbing a slightly pointy eraser against my face five times.
1 like
5 yrs ago
It sounds like God is taking a piss on my house outside
2 likes
5 yrs ago
Just noticed that my total amount of reactions recieved is equal to the amount of reactions given. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
1 like
5 yrs ago
Nothing quite like powering through an assignment through sheer anger at having to do it

Bio

Most Recent Posts

I'll probably wait until tomorrow for my next post.
Michael and Franklin

Level 4- (0/40) EXP / Level 2- (17/20) EXP (+2 EXP) (Level Up)
Location: Peach's Castle ---> On the Road
Wordcount: 896



After Franklin put the strange pistol away, Ratchet interjected, explaining what he thought the weapon was. The two men turned to face him, Franklin especially interested in what he had to say. "Plasma, huh? Damn, that really is some alien shit, then." He gave the lombax a thumbs up as he moved away, grateful for the information. Linkle appeared soon afterward, questioning the fact that Michael hadn't seen a gun like the one that Franklin now had strapped to his belt. "Almost all the guns on my world are based on gunpowder. We don't have guns like that, except for in science fiction. Still, if what Ratchet said is true, using it shouldn't be too different from using a normal gun." He looked away, to the direction of the karts. "If you'll excuse me, I probably should find something to ride before I get left behind."

With that, Michael headed out to the karts, looking through them to find something that would work for him. Looking through the vehicles, what looked to be a scooter caught his attention. Hopping on it, he revved it up, and drove it in a circle for a quick test run. "Woah!" Despite its appearance, it was still quite fast. Well, guess I'll take this one...at least Trevor's not here, he'd never let me live this down.

Franklin, meanwhile, looked over to the Wario bike, making sure that it was still available. While he was less familiar with a chopper than a traditional motorcycle, it was still a fine vehicle. Before he could ride off on it, Linkle approached him, asking for him to teach her about karts. He gave a nod, walking over to the karts. "Uh, yeah, come on, I'll tell you about it."

He walked over to the nearest kart, stopping beside it. "Now, how these things actually work is pretty complicated, and I don't have time to get into that, but anyways..." He pointed to inside the kart, towards the gas pedal, the brake, and the steering wheel. "That's the accelerator, you press that to speed up. Next to it is the brake, you hit that to slow down. And there's the steering wheel, you turn it to turn the kart. These things are pretty easy to control, so don't worry too much about it, you'll get the hand of it pretty quick. We'll be on the road for a while, so you'll have plenty of time to learn how to drive it." With a nod, he headed off towards the Wario bike, hopping on and preparing to ride off with the rest of the group.


After everything that had happened, Franklin felt good to be back on the road, albeit an unfamiliar one. Driving had always helped calm him down, and the bike he was sitting on was certainly fun to ride. The two bike riders were on opposite ends of the convoy, using the agile bikes to act as sentries for the less agile karts. For a while, there was nothing but the sound of engines and the dust kicked up by Bowser's vehicle as they drove across the seemingly empty land. However, once the convoy entered a more open area, someone noticed them.

Michael spotted them first- what looked like cars in the distance, approaching quickly. "Aw, shit..." He could see five vehicles, all cars that looked straight out of a post-apocalypse movie. Despite their ramshackle construction, they were actual cars, not karts, and their size compared to them would mean that the karts would be crushed if they were rammed, which it looked like they were trying to do. Plus, two had guns, while one had guns and a spiked ram. As they got closer, the sound of music could be heard. Like a hunting party... Michael frowned. If they wanted to hunt them, they would have to get through him first.

The other members of the party were quick to act, letting loose a variety of attacks. Bowser spat fire and his son shot out an oil slick to trip them up. The new guy shot energy blasts from above, managing to disable one of the cars. The Centurion was hit with a spell that turned him giant, and the Courier began to fire from his position on Bowser's car. Looking towards Franklin, they shared a nod, getting ready to launch an attack of their own.

The two bikes pulled up to the side where the cars were, moving erratically to avoid gunfire. Fortunately, their guns didn't seem very accurate, and the agile bikes were fast enough to keep out of their lines of fire. Michael took out his Uzi, firing bursts at any vehicle that got too close to the convoy. He tried to aim for the windshields, trying to disable the cars by killing the drivers.

Franklin, meanwhile, took out the plasma pistol, aiming it at the car with both guns and blades, which seemed to be the biggest threat. Alright...let's see if this thing works. He pulled down the trigger, but instead of firing a shot, it began to charge, green energy accumulating on the tip of the weapon. Let's hope this doesn't explode in my face... He continued to charge the plasma pistol until it appeared to reach a limit, at which point Franklin released the trigger, sending a bright green bolt of charged plasma at the car.
Moonreaver
Location unknown



Ikani reflexively lifted an arm to block the sudden flash of light. As she lowered her arm, she immediately noticed that something was off. Moving over to the membranous window, it took a moment before she realized what was wrong. "Shelley, check the starmap."

The infested Terran was already moving even before she gave the order, pushing a button on the starmap to activate its holographic display. She hurriedly flipped through several maps, a panicked look on her face. After a pause, she looked up at Ikani. "I don't know where we are...this system doesn't match anything on record."

Ikani looked into the distance, her mandibles contorting into the Zerg equivalent of a frown. "The stars are different, too." She turned to face Shelley. "Did you see a bright flash of light?"

"You saw that too?"

Ikani turned back to the window. "I see." Closing her eyes, she immersed herself in the psionic network. Fortunately, the many Zerg organisms on board seemed to be unaffected by the strange event, a fact that gave her some comfort. Pushing them aside, she turned to the ship itself, looking at what the massive creature was sensing. While she couldn't spot any sort of landmarks, there was something else far more important that she noticed. "We're not alone."

Shelley nodded, seeing the same things that Ikani was seeing due to also being part of the psionic network. "I don't recognize any of them. They all have different designs, and none of them match any Terran or Protoss design that I know of." She walked over to the radio, turning it on just in time to catch a transmission, something about an 'Atlantis'. "Two of them appear damaged, and none of them have made any sort of hostile action towards us. It might be best if-"

Before she could finish, another transmission came on, asking the other vessels to identify themselves. Ikani walked over to the radio, listening in as the transmission finished, promising to attack the others if they weren't peaceful. "Broodmother, the ship that sent the transmission appears to be aiming its weapons at us, along with the other vessels." Shelley said, walking beside her.

"It seems they are serious about upholding their promise." Ikani stood silent for a while, considering her options. She could attempt to make an emergency jump, but the other ship would likely be able to fire on them before they could escape. And besides, where would they go? The more they looked at the evidence, it seemed more apparent that they were far, far away from the Koprulu Sector. They could try to attack the other vessel, but she had no idea as to what sort of armament it had. For all she knew, a single shot from it would tear Moonreaver to a bloody pulp. There was only one good option, it seemed. Letting out a deep breath, Ikani activated the radio, preparing to broadcast on an open channel. "I suppose there is no harm in answering them."

Clearing her throat, Ikani began the broadcast, aimed mostly at the ship that was currently aiming their weapons at her, but also to the other ships. "Attention, unknown vessel 'Renatus'. This is Broodmother Ikani, captain of Moonreaver, of the Zerg Swarm. We have no intention of attacking you, or any other vessel. We are... She paused for a moment. "...confused. We do not recognize the stars here. There was a sudden flash of light, and then we were here. Did you experience something similar?" She asked, to the Renatus, but also to the other ships nearby. If they experienced the same phenomenon, it might somewhat explain what had happened here.

I'll try to post tomorrow.
Where did we get teleported to? Are there any planets or landmarks or anything nearby? And are the ships near each other or far away?
Welcome! If you need help with anything, feel free to ask. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy your time here!
Welcome! I hope you enjoy your time here.
Illegal mining vessel Jacob III
Approaching fringe of Zerg space



"We're approaching the site, sir. Your tip was good- the scanners are already picking up a lot of minerals here."

"I told ya, Wilkins. Prepare your shuttle, we've got digging to do." The captain laid back in his chair, putting down the radio and picking up his cigarette. From the viewport, the starts faintly illuminated the seemingly endless asteroid field around them. Blowing out a puff of smoke, he couldn't help but smile. Of course he was right- he was always right when it came to things like this. Turning to his left, he nudged his co-pilot next to him. "Joe, take us up to the site. I wanna see this for myself."

Joe took the controls, turning up the engines and steering the ship towards the marker on the screen in front of him. "Hope you know what you're doing, sir. We're in Zerg space, now."

The captain scoffed. "Yeah, barely. Trust me, we're gonna be long gone before any Zerg show up. We'll just grab the rocks, and go."

Joe shook his head, continuing on the course. "I hope you're right, sir."

"Come on, when have I been wrong? I've pulled us through way worse than this." He blew out another puff of smoke, before placing the cigarette back in his ash tray and grabbing the radio again. "Wilkins, you got a detailed scan yet? What sort of rocks are we looking at?"

No response. "Wilkins, you copy?" Again, nothing. The captain frowned, glaring at the radio. "Goddamn radio's on the fritz again." Grunting, he handed it to Joe. "Here, you try."

The co-pilot took the device, looking it over. "It's...there's nothing wrong with it, sir." He placed it on the dashboard as he felt ice run down his spine. "Sir, we..."

"Probably on their end, then. Speaking of..." The ship slowed down as they reached the site, with no sign of their sister ship. "Their lights must've gone out. Joe, get the floodlights, will you?"

Joe nodded, flicking a switch. After a moment, the lights went on. "Well, maybe- oh, sweet Jesus!"

Before them, was their sister ship...or what was left of it. The vessel was split in two, with debris scattered around in a wide arc, as if some massive blade had swung down the middle of the ship. The bodies of the crew floated in the void, expressions of pure terror etched onto their faces. The captain felt his heart sink, all his confidence draining away to be replaced by primal fear. With shaky hands, he gripped the controls, turning a hard left. "We need to get the hell out of here, now."

As the ship slowly began to turn to the left, a loud THUD was heard from the back of the ship, the shockwave sending the pilots forward in their chairs. The captain desperately tried to move the ship forward, but there was no response. A look at the screen confirmed his fear- whatever they had hit, it had taken out their engines. "No, no, no..." He turned to his side. "Joe, we gotta…"

But his co-pilot wasn't listening, staring into the distance. The captain followed his gaze, looking out into the black of space. "Joe?"

From the darkness, a pair of spiked tendrils emerged.


The Terran ship fell from a single swipe, just like the other. Ikani was almost disappointed. "I at least expected them to put up a fight."

"They weren't armed. They weren't expecting anyone to be here." Shelley, her infested Terran advisor, was standing beside her. From the membranous windows of the so-called "nerve room", they had a clear view of the destruction. "Either way, this will serve as a warning to others who would invade the Swarm's territory."

"Then our job here is done. I don't believe we have any other tasks, do we?"

"No, Broodmother."

Ikani was almost disappointed. Since the war ended, there had been very little for her to do, save for the occasional attack by pirates or ferals. True, there had been a few exciting missions, but those had been few and far between. She was hoping that this would be one of them, but it had proven to be a let down. What fun was there in killing an enemy that couldn't fight back?

"Very well. I'll put us onto a course back to Char, then." With a psionic command, Moonreaver began to make its way out of the asteroid field. "Shame. I was hoping for something more...stimulating."

"Well, maybe something else will come up?" Shelley offered, giving her a smile.

"I wish I had your optimism." They continued to watch out the windows as the living ship moved into open space. Just as they pulled out of the asteroid field, there was a white flash, and then nothing.
I'll try to have something posted by tonight.

Edit: posted
That sucks. Either way, welcome back.
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