Alright I like him. This is the kind of character with a lot of room to grow which is very cool. I like that he's clearly not rich and the reference to a town outside of Angel's Landing is nice because the tech level sheers off drastically the farther away from major cities you are so nice job there. As far as fixes go. While I certainly got a chuckle from the nickname I think its just a little too crude for the tone I'd like for this RP. I think something witty and laughable can be accomplished with it, but I'd prefer it to be less in your face crude. Second thing (This is going to sound like a knit pick, i'm sorry) Youtube videos has to be changed. I'm okay if you want to leave kickboxing and jujitsu but they are bordering on the same problem. The issue is this: the setting has no links to anything resembling a modern setting so references to a modern setting are highly out of place. This is a really simple fix but I'm going to make use of this to make sure that everyone is on the same page for the future. I'd just change it to something like Holovids or Netvids or something like that. If you are feeling particularly creative you could even come up with some names for new martial arts and then just stick kick boxing and Jujitsu in parentheses after the new names just so we know what style of martial art it is and then they have a little more flavor to them (totally up to you). That way there is no modern setting link. Obviously these two are actually really minor adjustments so no need to do anything drastic to the character because other than that I think it's good to go. One other quick question (not a fix) but you mention Orton in his history, is that one of his friends? The reason I ask is because I'd like to thank you for setting up some potential plots for your character which always makes me happy as a GM. If you have any other questions or need any help let me know. (Oh and nice job with the Elemental lord of fire bit, I like it)
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