Trash Panda

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

I like writing about drunk Crow. He gets really bold xD

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

“I only had three mugs,” Crow argued when Penelope accused him of having too much to drink. “Wasn’t that much…” He frowned. “Okay, maybe it was a li’l more than I meant to drink, but still,” he smiled at her. “Drunk or sober, I know a beautiful woman when I see one.”

“It’s me: Penelope. Not whoever else the ale is letting you imagine,” the knight said as she guided them into their room.

“And I’m Crow,” he laughed, his intoxicated mind finding her words amusing. “What’s yer point? Am I not allowed to find ‘Penelope’ attractive? ‘Cause if that’s the case, y’should lock me up now.”

“Hey! What’d I say about hitting on my woman?” Hartley chirped, narrowing his eyes at Crow.

“I don’t know,” Crow glared back. “‘Cause you don’t have a woman.”

“Lady stealer.”

“Delusional brat.”

Hartley opened his mouth to retort, but stopped as Penelope began to help him lay down on his bed. Suddenly distracted from his fight with Crow, he gazed up at her affectionately, “Thanks, Penelope. You’re the sweetest woman in the whole world.” He yawned and collapsed on the mat, snoring quietly as he immediately passed out.

“What an idiot,” Crow mumbled. “Not even man enough to finish what he started, after all that big talk. Hah!” He walked with Penelope as she led him to the mat that would serve as his bed for the night. However, when she moved to help him lay down, he wrapped his hands around the small of her back, dragging her down with him as he fell back against the bed.

“My offer still stands, y’know,” the thief grinned at her mischievously. He toyed with the hem of her dress with one hand as he held her close to himself with the other. “Just say the word, and I’ll give you a night you’ll never forget…” He yawned abruptly as exhaustion finally struck him. The alcohol was taking its toll. “Or… I guess we could take a raincheck,” he said, closing his eyes tiredly. His grip on Penelope slackened as he began drifting off to sleep.

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow is a very flirtatious drunk ;3

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow leaned back in his chair, tipping it onto its back legs and rocking slightly, “M’glad you made me drink that ale, my man. It’s amazing!”

“Guys!” Hartley slammed his hands on the table, wide eyed. “I have an idea. We should… we should go find those Brerra people and give em a what for.” He swung a fist in front of his face, as if fighting an invisible enemy.

“Calm down there, boy,” Malcolm held up his hands. “Yer too drunk to win a fight.” He stood up from the table, pounding his fist against his broad chest. “I’ll be the one to show those assassinators who’s boss.”

“You guys do that,” Crow waved at them from his chair, which was now precariously unbalanced as he leaned further back. “I’ll stay here and… do something.” He prodded Hartley in the arm. “Bring me back a head. I wanna give it to the king as a gift.”

“Aye aye,” Hartley gave a drunken salute.

Crow looked up as Penelope and Lorelle returned from the other room. He blinked. Was it just his imagination, or did she look prettier than usual? He grinned as she approached, “Hey, beautiful. What brings you to our neck of the woods?”

“Hey,” Hartley glared at him. “You better not be hitting on my woman, Cadby.”

“She ain’t your woman, dumbass,” Crow growled, returning Hartley’s glare. “Go play with the other kids, and let the adults talk.”

“Say that to my face,” Hartley leaned closer, reaching to grab the collar of Crow’s tunic.

“I just did,” Crow snatched the boy’s shirt as well.

“Boys, boys,” Malcolm stepped over, putting a hand on each of their shoulders to shove them apart. “Don’t fight over a woman like that. It’s unseemly.” His bearded face suddenly took on a mischievous expression. “The real way to win a lady’s heart is on the battlefield.”

“I think that’s enough, dear,” Lorelle was next to intervene. She placed a hand on her husband’s chest, shooting Penelope an apologetic look. “Let’s give them time to relax and sober up.” With that, she led the burly man towards the stairs.

“You got lucky this time,” Hartley said as Penelope moved to help the two thieves get up from the table. “But next time, I’ll show you how much of a man I am!”

“I really don’t want to see that,” Crow wrinkled his nose.

“That’s not what I meant!” Hartley flushed.

Crow just shrugged in response, allowing Penelope to help him to his feet. He slung an arm across her shoulders and staggered slightly as they walked towards the other room. He enjoyed the feeling of her small body pressed up against his side. She was so fair. He wondered why he had never tried to be with her before, but as much as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t remember the answer. It was such a waste to be in the company of a beautiful woman and do nothing about it. He would have to change that.

Crow leaned down and whispered in Penelope’s ear, breathing softly against her, “You’re so gorgeous. Let’s ditch the kid and get out of here.” Leaning in a bit closer, he brushed his lips against the skin of her neck. “I could show you a good time, love. Come on. What do you say?”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Well, unless Crow is too hung over the next day to say anything xD
Which is very likely since he isn't used to drinking so much

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Trust me, Crow's not happy about it either xD He loves drinking ale (most peasants do), but he hates getting intoxicated

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

As they followed Malcolm towards the small dwelling, Crow glanced over his shoulder. He couldn’t hear the sounds of battle anymore. Though the alleyway they had run through was long, he thought that he would have at least been able to hear some faint shouting. He wondered if William and Abraxas had somehow managed to escape, or if the Younisian knights had overpowered them. Despite the fact that he didn’t get along well with either of the Brerratic knights, he felt a pang of guilt for leaving them stranded without a second thought. For all he knew, Penelope’s comrades were long dead.

Crow looked ahead once more as he entered the peasant’s house. It was quite homely, with just a parlor and a small dining area next to the kitchen. Off to the side was a wooden set of stairs leading up to what he guessed were the bed chambers. The home wasn’t anything special, but it was still grander than anything the peasants of Brerra could ever dream to own.

A tall, blonde woman emerged from the kitchen to greet them. Crow tipped his head towards her without speaking, as he was still unsure how Younisian men interacted with women they didn’t know. He decided it was safer to err on the side of tradition than risk blowing their cover by talking to her like he would a woman from his own kingdom.

He listened quietly as the husband and wife spoke, observing the way they interacted with each other. Malcolm was loud and excitable, while Lorelle was soft-spoken and meek. The stark contrast in their personalities was interesting to Crow, but he also noticed something strange about the woman’s behavior. She seemed stiff, as if she wasn’t quite as trusting of the group of strangers as her spouse. Her dark eyes swept over them and her jaw clenched ever so slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but dared not to open her mouth. He shifted his weight, set on edge by Lorelle’s demeanor.

The peasant woman invited Penelope to speak with her privately in another room, which only added to Crow’s discomfort. He wished he could follow them, but forced himself not to move. It wasn’t worth risking his disguise. Besides, what could Lorelle do? She didn’t look particularly dangerous. Perhaps she did just want to talk to Penelope without the company of the men. His shoulders fell as he relaxed.

“So,” Malcolm stepped into the kitchen. “I’m guessing you boys want a drink after everything you went though, eh?” He retrieved a bucket and set it down on the dining table, along with three mugs. “My wife and I brewed this ale up just this morning. Feel free to share it.”

“Thanks,” Hartley said, filling up a glass. He took a long drink, downing most of the ale at once, and set it back down with a satisfied exhale. “That hits the spot.”

Crow rolled his eyes as he filled his own glass, choosing to drink it more slowly. The homebrewed ale was strong, and he wanted to make sure he kept his head on straight, so he wouldn’t slip up if Malcolm started questioning him. He just hoped Hartley wouldn’t get drunk too quickly and ruin everything.

Malcolm gulped down his own mug and poured a second, “How did you end up the paws of those no good Brerratics?”

“Wrong place at the wrong time,” Crow answered vaguely. He hoped the peasant man would be satisfied by simple answers, but unfortunately, Malcolm kept digging.

“What place? What time?” he asked, drinking down more of the ale.

“Um,” Crow took another sip from his mug, buying time as he tried to come up with a lie.

“We were at a market,” Hartley jumped in, slamming down his now-empty glass. “Those guys just got us out of nowhere. I didn’t even get to finish my errands!” He moved to refill his mug, but Crow kicked him under the table, shooting the boy a warning glare. Hartley waved off his concern, pouring himself another round.

The idiot’s going to get us caught if he keeps this up, Crow thought unhappily.

“Why’d they want you guys?” Malcolm began to drawl as he finished his second drink.

“I don’t know,” Crow shrugged. “They probably would’ve gone for anyone, but we were just unlucky.”

“Hm,” Malcolm grunted. His eyes fell on Crow’s still full mug and he frowned. “What’sa matter? You hardly touched your ale.”

“I just… don’t drink much,” Crow averted his gaze.

“Come on,” Malcolm rolled his eyes, shoving the mug closer to the thief. “You don’t just come to a man’s house and insult him by refusing his homemade ale! Drink up, boy.”

Crow hesitated, “I’d really rather not—”

“C’mon,” Hartley chimed in unhelpfully, elbowing him in the side. “Live a little!”

“Yeah,” Malcolm eyed him skeptically. “Unless you have a reason you’re tryin’ to stay sober.”

Crow shot Hartley another dirty look for encouraging the situation, and then let out a reluctant sigh. It seemed they weren’t going to leave him alone until he complied. Fine. If it would make Malcolm let his guard down again, then he would have to do it. He raised his glass, “Bottoms up.” He lifted the mug to his lips and tilted his head back, downing the entire drink while Hartley let out a wild holler of approval.

As he set the mug back down on the table—with more force than he intended—Crow was already beginning to feel the effects of the potent drink. His mind was slightly fuzzy, and he felt his body relaxing into the chair. Come on, Crow. Stay focused.

Malcolm refilled Crow’s mug and then raised his own in a toast, “To new friends, and the death of the assassins!”

“What he said!” Hartley grinned, raising his mug as well. He looked expectantly at Crow.

“Yeah, those things,” Crow said dazedly. Here goes nothing… He downed the second drink, along with the other men, feeling the effects of the alcohol almost immediately.

The three slammed down their mugs, and Hartley smiled drunkenly at Malcolm, “Y’know, I like you, mister. You should join us on our journey to… wherever it is we’re going.”

“Aren’t you going home?” Malcolm laughed.

“I can’t remember,” Hartley knit his brow. He looked at Crow. “Are we going home?”

“Nah,” Crow slurred, working on his third mug of ale. “We’re gonna meet the king.”

“Really?” Hartley gaped at him.

“Really really,” Crow grinned. “I’m gonna give him a new walking stick or something.” In his inebriation, he was having a hard time keeping his Younisian accent or remembering what he was supposed to keep secret the others. Oh well. It’s probably not important.

“That’s so cool,” Hartley said.

“I know,” Crow frowned at the bottom of his now empty glass.

“Looks like we’re about out,” Malcolm picked up the bucket, swaying slightly as he returned it to the kitchen. “Sounds like a fun trip, boys. I’d come if I could, but I’ve gotta stay here with the missus.”

“Aw,” Hartley pouted. “I’m gonna miss you, Maven.”

“S’Malcolm,” the burly man corrected.

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you said Maxwell,” Crow shook his head.

“Ah, shut up, Cadby,” Hartley waved a dismissive hand.

“Wrong again, kid,” Crow ruffled the boy’s hair with one hand. He glanced towards the door Penelope and Lorelle had gone through, wondering where they had gone.

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow took no notice of the wagon slowing down until he saw Penelope tense with concern. He fell silent, listening as unfamiliar voices began speaking outside. A man had greeted William and Abraxas and was asking where they were going. He watched as Penelope peeked over the edge of the cart, only to quickly pull her head back in and announce that they had been confronted by real knights of Younis.

“Oh, shi—” Hartley started, but Crow swiftly covered his mouth. Penelope was right. If they wanted to carry out the mission, they needed to get away before William and Abraxas dragged them down with them. There was no other choice. If they stayed, they would just get caught by the knights; and if they tried to fight, they would either die or put a target on their backs. Sneaking away while the knights were distracted was the option they had.

He followed Penelope’s lead, gathering whatever he could think of in the short amount of time they had: an empty water flask, some bread, flint and firesteel, and a carving knife among other things. Lastly, he grabbed a bedroll, which he shouldered with the bag of supplies. He hoped that between the three of them, they would have everything they needed to get by without the wagon.

Just as he was about to stand up, he cringed. Outside the cart, he could hear William floundering to speak with a Younisian accent. There was a shuffling noise as the other knights—it sounded like a patrol of four men—moved to confront the two Brerratic knights.

“I’m starting to think you’re not from around here,” a Younisian voice said warily. “Mind telling me where you’re from, and how you got those uniforms?”

There was a brief pause before William spoke again, trying a different tactic. “We’re here on official business,” he said, dropping his accent. “Let us through.”

“Hang on a moment… You’re from Brerra, aren’t you?” there was audible tension in the Younisian man’s tone. “Travelers from your land are forbidden, on the authority of our glorious king. Surrender now, imposters!”

Crow could hear the sound of a snap as William’s sword cut loose his and Abraxas’s horses from the wagon. The knight let out a battle cry as he charged the Younisians. Metal clashed against metal as a fight ensued.

“I think that’s our cue,” Crow took the lead as he, Hartley, and Penelope crept down from the wagon bed. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he took off running towards an alleyway between two large buildings. However, before he reached the entrance, he was cut off by a burly man.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the man growled, moving to grab the thief.

Damn these ridiculous peasants, Crow gritted his teeth as he slipped out of the man’s grasp. He feigned a look of terror and took on his best Younisian accent, “Please, sir! We’re not with them. The imposters took us captive and forced us to help them sneak through Younis, so they could assassinate our glorious king!” He was glad he remembered the way the Younisian knight had referred to their ruler. “Please let us through before they realize we escaped!”

The man wavered for a moment and then nodded, “Follow me. I know just the place to hide.”

“Thank you, sir,” Crow said with relief. He followed as the man led them into the alley, grinning proudly to himself. The natives of Younis were so gullible, he hardly even had to try to fool them.

“That was quick thinking,” Hartley puffed as he ran up next to him. “How’d you do that?”

“Years of practice,” Crow answered simply. “Now be quiet before you give us away.”

At the end of the passage, the man slowed to a stop. He turned to face them and gestured to a small house nestled between two shops, “This is my home. You’re welcome to stay here until you feel ready to move on.” He offered them a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure it must have been tough, being held prisoners by Brerratics.” He practically spat the word. “But I can assure you that you’ll be quite safe here…” He trailed off, knitting his bushy brow in thought. “What were your names?”

“I’m Hartley,” the boy stepped in quickly, introducing himself. He indicated Crow and Penelope in turn, supplying Younisian names, “And this is Dante and Farah. We’re from the town of Dalry.”

“Pleased to meet you. My name is Malcolm,” the man nodded in greeting. “Dalry, you say? That’s quite a distance from here.”

“The Brerratics took us far from home,” Crow lowered his gaze sorrowfully.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Malcolm frowned. “Please, come inside. My wife, Lorelle, is preparing dinner. You’re welcome to stay and eat.”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Sounds good to me!

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

I actually have time to write a reply tonight for once in my life xD
I'll get started now!