Trash Panda

Match Up in Malibu [Bee & Summer]

The tension in the air could have been cut with a knife. As much as he tried to ignore her, Jett couldn’t help but wonder why in the world Anna had followed him into the living room after she’d practically chased him out of the kitchen. She seemed even more uncomfortable than he was. Part of him was tempted to get up and move somewhere else so they’d have more time to cool down apart from each other, but he didn’t want to make a scene. Judging by how eagerly Nina was carrying on with the conversation, she hadn’t noticed that there was anything funny going on—and the rest of the group hadn’t either. So, for the sake of keeping the peace, he remained where he was, awkwardly avoiding the engineer’s gaze as he chewed on a strip of bacon.

He was just getting into the conversation again when Nina suddenly brought up the one other incident on the show that made him want to crawl under a rock. It just so happened that he was halfway through a sip of his drink when she said it too. The unexpectedness of the mention nearly made him choke, and he covered the impulse by clearing his throat as he set his glass back down on the coffee table. It wasn’t that he embarrassed easily—although that could sometimes be true as well—he was just worried about what his drunken fooling around might have led to. It had just been mindless fun last night, but he didn’t know if Nina had seen it that way. He really didn’t want to have ‘that talk’ with someone on his second day on the show.

It was hard to tell exactly what she had been trying to gain when they’d made out at the party. Maybe she had just been drunk and, like him, thought it would be fun… or maybe she was a rabid fan who wanted the bragging right of being able to say that she’d kissed the famous Jett Olliston.

God, he hoped it wasn’t the latter.

When Anna answered Nina’s question, Jett looked up to listen to her response, momentarily letting go of his negative feelings toward her in favor of forgetting about his potentially awkward situation with the bubbly writer girl. He’d heard the spiel before. It was the same thing she’d told him yesterday when they’d talked at the party. However, now he was starting to think her claim wasn’t entirely true. She definitely wasn’t forcing anything to happen, but she certainly wasn’t giving anyone any chances either.

Jett wasn’t the type to go around calling himself a “nice guy,” but, well… he knew he was a nice guy. Aside from a few clipped remarks here and there, he’d been nothing but respectful to Anna. Look where that had gotten him. He sank back into the couch, resting his nearly finished plate of breakfast on his lap. Of course, he hadn’t been trying to score with her or anything like that. The girl was hot, but he barely knew her. However, if there was ever a chance of something happening between them, it was gone now—quenched by the fire that was Anna’s unpredictable temper. He wouldn’t call that the ‘whatever happens, happens’ camp.

“I have no specific ideas,” he pitched when there was a break in the conversation. “But I’ve seen shows like this before, so my guess is anything could happen.”

“Really? Anything?” Nina seemed interested in that.

“Within reason,” Jett clarified with a shrug as he finished off the rest of his food. “I mean, I’d hope they aren’t planning to make us do anything too crazy, like, I don’t know… fear factor stuff.”

“What do you have to be afraid of?” Nina asked with an intrigued grin.

“That,” Jett pointed his fork at her. “Is something I’m going to keep to myself. Wouldn’t want the crew to find out and use it against me.”

“Oh, please,” another voice spoke up from the other end of the sectional. He looked up to see Madison Taylor eyeing him with a smirk. She was leaning forward with her arms crossed over her knees in a posture that offered a direct view down the front of her shirt. It was hard to tell if she was doing it on purpose but, knowing her reputation to show off, he wouldn’t have been surprised in the least if she was.

The actress went on, “You gave up your right to privacy a long time ago, just like the rest of us.” She tilted her chin up arrogantly, making it clear that she ranked the celebrities on the show above the rest of the cast. “If they really want to know, all it’ll take is one Google search.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them,” Jett muttered, setting his empty plate back down on the coffee table.

“I guess that’s one perk for us ‘normal people,’” Nina laughed, flashing a grin at Anna. “It’s going to be harder for them to dig up dirt on us.”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Of course she would xD
Cool. We can throw that in then

Just for the sake of ease, I've been doing a little research on PTSD and treatments, so I can share some of the stuff I've found.

Basically, the only medications for it are SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), which obviously wouldn't have existed in this time period. Most people use coping mechanisms to deal with it instead. The most common (and unhealthiest) is substance abuse. A lot of people with PTSD can resort to excessive drinking or drug use to escape from the trauma (I actually imagine this is what Eldon would recommend, since it would have proven to be an effective "medicine" in the knights he's treated before). Crow would definitely be hesitant to try it though, since to him, being out of control isn't much better than dealing with nightmares.

Other coping mechanisms that work for different people are meditation, aromatherapy, breathing exercises (when triggered), and physical activity. I could see the latter two working for Crow, since he's usually at his happiest when he's working his body, and breathing exercises would help him calm down if he has a flashback when he gets triggered by the sight/smell of blood.

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow smiled when Penelope kissed him on the cheek and then shrugged carelessly as she proceeded to call him stubborn. He had gone most of his life relying on himself to survive and handle his own problems, and he wasn’t about to stop now. Of course, he allowed for some exceptions, including the knight and the other thieves he’d been living with during the war, but he had no intention of expanding that circle—especially not with the nobles in the castle. Telling someone else about his nightmares would mean telling them about the reason for his dream, and he didn’t trust anyone here with that personal of a secret.

So, when she was willing to let the issue drop, the viceroy was relieved. He leaned his head back on his pillow and left his arms wrapped around her as he relaxed on the bed. For a while, the room was quiet, and he didn’t think much of it until he realized she hadn’t said anything to him for some time. Curious, he glanced down at her and then smiled affectionately when he saw that she was falling asleep against his chest. He gently ran his hand down and up her back in a soothing gesture. Even though he knew it was risky for her to fall sleep in his room with him, he couldn’t help but find her tired face endearing.

The moment didn’t last long. As Penelope lifted her head again, Crow exhaled softly and turned his head to let his eyes wander aimlessly over the side of the bedchamber. Fighting sleep was such a dull activity. He wished he could do more to entertain himself, but he didn’t want to draw any attention to his room by lighting a lamp or making noise. His eyes flicked back to the knight. He supposed there was one thing they could do… again. However, she was clearly tired, and he was only interested for the sake of staving off boredom. He doubted she would take him up on it if he offered.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Crow blinked, surprised by the sudden question. He’d thought it had been established that it was too risky for her to stay longer, so he hadn’t expected her to make the offer now. As she went on to explain her logic, he looked up at the ceiling to think it over. He would have been lying if he’d said he didn’t want her to stay with him, but he also didn’t feel right about it.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that for me,” he shook his head after a moment, glancing down at her with an amused smile. “You can barely stay awake as you are right now, love. You should get some sleep. I’ll be fine by myself.” He leaned down to press a tender kiss to her lips and then pulled back to meet her gaze again, running one hand softly over the back of her head. “It was kind of you to offer though. I appreciate it, but I really do think it would be best if you go back to your own room.”

Match Up in Malibu [Bee & Summer]

Well, the morning wasn’t off to a great start so far, but luckily Jett was quick to bounce back. He had always been good at brushing off a bad mood, especially when there were plenty of distractions around, and there was no shortage of those at this paradise house. With all sorts of people to talk to and activities to try, he was determined not to let his frustrating conversation with Anna drag him down. He was, however, going to tread more carefully around her in the future.

After their last talk, Jett had realized she wasn’t the type of person he’d thought she was, and the person she had turned out to be wasn’t really the type he wanted to associate with. It was a bit disappointing, but he wasn’t that surprised to find out his first impression of her had been wrong. In his industry, people put on masks all the time. It was pretty common to meet a nice girl or guy and find out a week later that they were cruel or selfish or greedy. He supposed those types of people must have existed in other fields too. This was just the first time he’d seen it for himself.

He didn’t dwell on it though.

When he got to the living room, Jett took a quick look around to see who he was joining. Right away, he recognized Nina, the girl he’d gotten a little physical with at the party last night. The memory made him cringe inwardly. While he wasn’t particularly prudish, he also didn’t like to make a habit of making out with women he’d just met. For one thing, it wasn’t great for his public image. If the production team decided to air that little scene, he knew his other fans were going to go nuts over it. He’d already dealt with enough crazy to last a lifetime. He didn’t need to return to his life in New York with the expectation of dodging around other girls who were hoping to score a kiss from him too.

For another thing, he had his own standards he wanted to uphold. While he wasn’t opposed to having a little fun with a pretty face on occasion—preferably not in front of a camera—he longed to find someone with whom he could share a real connection. Of course, he wasn’t really expecting to meet anyone like that on this show, but he at least wanted to get to know a girl before he locked lips with her. Apparently, that plan had gone out the window with the rest of his good sense when the alcohol had kicked in.

Jett slid in on the couch as Nina made room for him. He barely had time to settle down before she bombarded him with a question and her opinion of the beds in the house. Having barely recovered from his annoyance with Anna, it took him a moment to process everything she said. Her bubbly attitude was a stark change from the scathing engineer, but he appreciated it. He opened his mouth to give her an answer to her question, but then closed it again when he caught sight of someone else walking up to the group.

As Anna took a seat nearby, he quirked a brow, wondering what she was trying to pull now. Was she just following him to be obstinate, or was she trying to make some sort of vague gesture of apology? It was hard to say for sure, but she was definitely avoiding eye contact with him.

Deciding it wasn’t worth the effort to figure out, Jett turned back to Nina, who was more upbeat and enjoyable to talk to. “It’s something else,” he agreed, popping another bite of eggs into his mouth and chasing it with his drink. “Definitely worth selling your soul to a TV show for a whole summer.”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow really doesn't like the idea of getting anymore people involved
Although there's not much he can do about that, since every time it happens, the guards on the third floor are gonna hear him scream ^^;
I could also see Penelope finding out about that if she ever overhears the other knights talking about it lol
Or if she ever gets stationed near his room overnight. That could be interesting

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

As Penelope caressed his cheek with her hand, Crow leaned into her palm, finding her touch comforting. Even though she had pushed him to open up about the reason why he’d been acting strangely, he still wasn’t sure if it had been a good idea to do so. After all, it wasn’t like she could do anything to help him. The source of his distress was in his consciousness. It wasn’t the same as a physical injury or a problem that could be solved with effort. He had no control over the things that appeared in his head during the night, and neither did anyone else.

As far as he could tell, the only thing that had changed since he’d confessed his nightmares to her was that he felt more ashamed of himself. Despite her assurance that his concerns were valid, he was frustrated with himself for letting something so harmless affect him this much. It had just been a dream. He knew it wasn’t real, yet he couldn’t stop the nervous flutter of his heart at the thought of going through it again. It was pathetic to be so frightened of something that only existed inside his mind.

Crow glanced back at Penelope as she spoke up again, though he wasn’t fond of her suggestion. It had been hard enough for him to admit his fear to her, and she was the person he trusted most in the whole kingdom. He didn’t want to spread the word to anyone else that he had been suffering from nightmares. Castle gossip was like wildfire, and while he didn’t know what someone could do with that knowledge, he knew he didn’t want anyone else to find out about it. He was trying to build a more respectable reputation amongst the other nobles here. Letting them know that he was afraid of his own dreams wasn’t the way to do that.

“I’d rather not speak about this to anyone else,” he finally said, looking away from her again to stare up at the ceiling. “Even if it comes back, I’ve dealt with this before, and I can do it again. I don’t need to get anyone else involved.” Perhaps he was being stubborn, but it felt like the right decision to him. What could a physician do to treat an intangible symptom anyway? If he went to Eldon, he suspected that the healer would just report to his father and make the whole situation worse. It was better to keep it secret and try to avoid letting anyone else find out.

Sighing softly, Crow wrapped his arms around Penelope and looked down to meet her gaze. “I know you worry about me, but I promise I’ll be fine,” he offered her a small smile and gently stroked her shoulders in a reassuring gesture. “I’m just a little shaken up, that’s all. If it was just one nightmare, I’ll move on. And if it does come back again…” His smile wavered slightly despite his best efforts to conceal his fear. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow caved cx
He didn't want to tell her about how other people heard him though

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Crow held his breath, hoping Penelope would hear the edge in his voice and drop the subject. He’d already given her an answer, even if it had been a vague one. Surely that was enough now that she knew he had gotten himself worked up over nothing more than a dream. There was no more reason for her to be concerned about him when she knew that he wasn’t in danger or otherwise hiding anything crucial from her. As he’d said, it really hadn’t been important.

However, the knight didn’t seem to agree. As she shifted to lay on him more comfortably, he groaned inwardly, already expecting that she wasn’t going to let it go as he wanted. “You just can’t make this easy on me, can you?” he grumbled, lifting his arm to rest across his eyes in exasperation. Part of him still wanted to refuse to go into detail—especially since it was already late, and he was worried that if he described the nightmare now, it would be more likely to return when he slept—but he knew that now that she’d fixed her mind on it, she wasn’t going to drop it until he gave her an answer she deemed acceptable.

After a long pause, he took a slow breath, deciding it would be less painful to just get it over with now than deal with her pestering later on, and shifted to drape his arm over her back. “I don’t remember if I’ve told you this before, but when I was younger—long before we ever met—I used to have the same nightmare every night,” he started, finally meeting her gaze. “It started after the… incident in that village, where I got the scar on my side.” His voice became slightly absent as he went on. The memory of the slaughter always stirred uncomfortable emotions inside of him when he dwelled on it, so he found it easier to simply detach from the feelings.

“The dream always started out the same way. I was standing in the marketplace with a crowd of people who were just going about their normal routines. Nothing was wrong, but I’d always get this feeling that I was in danger. Eventually, it would get too overwhelming to ignore, and the sky would turn red just before the market changed into the bloodbath that I remember.” He shuddered at the image. “When that happened, I would run to take cover, but a knight would cut me off. He’d stab me with his sword, and I would wake up.”

His expression turned bleak, “It’s been years since the last time I’ve had that dream, but it came back last night… and this time, it didn’t end the same way.” He held her a little closer as the nightmare replayed in his head. “When the knight stabbed me, I closed my eyes as I normally would, but instead of waking up, I was suddenly back in Jaxon’s camp with his sword through my chest instead. He was the one who killed me before I woke up this time.”

Finished recounting the morbid dream, he fell silent for a moment and then shook his head. “I know it shouldn’t bother me as much as it did. It was just vivid,” he sighed and then wavered as he decided whether or not he should tell her that Preston had heard him scream the night before. Ultimately, he saw no reason to cause her to worry about it, so he omitted that detail. “I guess I’m just a little nervous that it could start recurring again,” he admitted in a reluctant voice.

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

He's still trying xD
They're both so stubborn

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Unfortunately for Crow, he barely had a chance to sit upright before he felt Penelope suddenly wrap her arms around his middle. Unprepared for the motion, he didn’t have time to brace himself and fell on his back when she dragged him down onto the bed with her again. He blinked in surprise, nearly nose to nose with her now that she was leaning on his chest. She’d seemed so intent that she needed to get back to her own room earlier that he hadn’t expected her to prolong her leave.

As she joked that Preston was going to have to smuggle her out if he didn’t talk, the viceroy rolled his eyes. Sometimes, she could be even more stubborn than he was. He didn’t understand why she was being so persistent though. He’d already told her it wasn’t important, and he didn’t think he was acting that differently lately. He’d just gotten a little more desirous to have her around. That was all.

Crow shifted uncomfortably on the bed as she pressed him to tell her what was wrong again. The concern on her face just made him feel even more embarrassed, since he knew he was making a big deal out of nothing. When had a dream ever hurt anyone? It was ridiculous that he had let himself get so worked up over something so harmless. Even if the nightmare did come back tonight, he would be fine—shaken, but fine. The worst that could happen would be that he wouldn’t feel as well-rested as he wanted to be in the morning.

“It isn’t important,” he insisted in a quiet voice, refusing to meet her gaze as he spoke. “It was just a stupid dream. That’s it. There’s nothing you need to worry about, so can we please let it go?”