Trash Panda

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

As Iris took his hands, Cas dropped his gaze, biting his lower lip. He knew that she was speaking the truth, but it was hard for him to truly grasp the meaning when the capital had been his home for twenty-four years. That was why the thoughts passing through his head now were so frightening. He felt trapped between two less than perfect options. Either he could go back to what was familiar with the new knowledge that he’d been misguided for over two decades, or he could give up on his friends and family completely and make a new life for himself somewhere else. In both cases, he would be losing something important to him. He hoped that she could speak into the mess at least a little to help him make up his mind about what he should choose to do.

However, it seemed like she wasn’t going to give him an out that easily. He deflated slightly when she went on to say that he was going to have to make his own decision. Perhaps if he’d been more secure in his ability to make good choices, he wouldn’t have cared, but it was hard for him to feel confident when he’d gone most of his life without any assurance from his father that he had been on the right track. He was worried that he was going to pick the wrong option and live to regret it.

Going back to the capital, while less than ideal, would have put him back on the path toward becoming Aspiria’s next king. Even though he didn’t love the thought of taking over, it was important because his father had no other heirs. If he didn’t return, there was no telling what would happen to the country when Atlas inevitably passed. On the flip side, if he didn’t go home, he would finally be free from the responsibilities and expectations that had been placed on him by everyone in the capital. He could be with Iris, and he could form new friendships with people who might care more about him than the people he had grown close with before. But he would also never see his father or his friends ever again. He wished the choice was easier.

Although Iris tried to be optimistic, Cas couldn’t agree with her. “I don’t want to believe it, but why else would he have sent those planes?” he asked rhetorically, looking up to meet her blue eyes again. “My dad is the one who approves every move the military makes. If they had been sent as a warning, they would have just flown by without dropping any bombs. It wasn’t a threat; it was an attack, plain and simple. He’s continuing the war instead of waiting to make sure I get home first.” As he said it out loud, he felt even more certain that he was right. Knowing that his own father would jeopardize his safety made him feel hollow inside, and he barely registered that Iris had placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks,” he said quietly. He didn’t feel much better than he had before he’d opened up to her, but he was grateful that she was willing to support him. God knew he needed a friend right now. He just wished they could be more than that. She was the kindest person he’d ever met, and he longed to be closer to her than ‘just friends.’ He just couldn’t open that door when they would be parting ways soon. But will we actually be saying goodbye? He paused as he chewed on the thought. Right now, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go home anymore. Even if he did, he was so frustrated and hurt by his father that he didn’t want to follow his rules. No matter what happened, he didn’t want to lose the one person who had stood by him through thick and thin and who had saved his life on more than one occasion. Where was the justice in that?

“Actually, no,” he shook his head, studying her face with new resolve. “You shouldn’t be in the background. I’m sorry I was such a coward earlier, but I know now that that’s not what I want… I want you, Iris.” To leave no shadow of a doubt that he’d made up his mind, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in a fervent kiss.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

That all sounds exciting. It'll be interesting to see how they get away this time

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

When Iris said she was cold, Cas responded immediately by unzipping the jacket he’d been wearing. Slipping it off his shoulders, he was slightly chilly, but he wasn’t cold enough to be seriously bothered by the weather. It was better for him to be mildly uncomfortable if it meant she would be warm. She was the one who needed the extra layers to break her fever, after all. He was pretty sure she was feeling cold because of the chills. So, he passed the hoodie over to her to put on, “Take it. I don’t need it right now, and you still need to keep warm so you can get better.”

As she thanked him for forcing her to eat earlier, he nodded, “You’re welcome.” He knew he would do it again if he had to. While he had been partly invested in her health because he’d wanted to hurry back to the capital, he had to admit that he also genuinely cared when she was feeling unwell. He didn’t want to see her like that, shivering, feverish, and generally uncomfortable because of whatever illness had taken over her body. He also didn’t want to see her get worse by not taking proper care of herself.

Picking up his water to take one more sip, he hesitated at her following question. Honestly, he didn’t know how to answer her. He wanted to say he was fine because he had made it out of the wreckage in one piece and had only broken down once at the apartment, but that probably wasn’t the truth. It was more likely that the full weight of it all just hadn’t hit him yet, and it was going to be a shit show when it finally did. He shuddered at the thought. It was kind of insane just how much they had been through in less than eight hours. He’d seen the bloody aftermath of a battle for the first time, somehow wound up in the apartment that had belonged to two of the corpses he’d seen and had almost been buried alive by said apartment in a bombing. He couldn’t say he was “fine” without lying to himself and to her.

On top of everything, he was now more convinced than he ever had been before that his father couldn’t have cared less about what became of him. If he did, he wouldn’t have given the military clearance to launch those bombers in the first place. That was all the proof he’d needed that his life was insignificant to the people in the capital. Now, he didn’t even know if he should go back to them, and he felt torn between his duties and his desire to do choose a path that would make him happy.

“I know, and I really appreciate that you’re here,” he exhaled heavily. Part of him didn’t want to involve her in his problems, but he was also desperate to talk to someone else who could give him an outside perspective. He was worried that he would make the wrong decision if he tried to deal with it alone. “I’m just… confused, I guess,” he started slowly, trying to piece his jumbled thoughts together into some kind of coherent statement. “I thought that when I was abducted, my dad would turn over every stone in the country to find me, but no one ever showed up at your dad’s house, and now it looks like the war hasn’t even been put on pause while I’m still missing. It feels like he doesn’t care whether I come home or not, and I’m just wondering…” He trailed off with a sigh before going on softly: “I’m starting to question if there’s even a reason for me to go back.

“I’ve always seen the capital as my home, but I’d never left it before. Now I’m beginning to realize just how shallow all my relationships were. I don’t know if I want to go back to that. Not when—” Not when I have you, he wanted to say but held his tongue. Seeking her gaze, he frowned, feeling conflicted. “What do you think I should do, Iris?”

~Bonsoir~

Geez ^^; yeah, a lot of the businesses where I live don't have the money for supplies to combat the virus. When my husband's office reopens in two weeks, their strategy is that they won't be taking walk-ins to keep the employees safe. The chances of him getting the virus are relatively small, because they have a team of less than 10 engineers.

~Bonsoir~

Yeah, he’s considered essential because he handles installs and repairs for people who live off grid. He just works remotely from home now instead of going into the office. It’s pretty lucky for us because we haven’t felt the effects of the virus nearly as much as a lot of other people. The only major change is that we’re self quarantining because I’m considered high risk for complications because I’ve had a history of lung diseases

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Yeah, it'll be a great plot twist later.
Also, when Cas and Iris go to sleep for the night, do you want to do another cut scene to what's going on with our other characters? I was thinking about switching back to Jacob's POV for the funeral they would have thrown for Cas. It could be interesting to see what's going on with Ethan too, especially since the rebels will catch Cas and Iris the next day

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

“I wasn’t—” Caspian started and then stopped, shaking his head as he decided against arguing with Iris. The apologies that came out of her mouth didn’t seem to have an off switch. He hadn’t asked her if they were spending the night in the woods because he was turning his nose up at the plan. He had asked out of innocent curiosity without any underlying judgement. At this point, he just wanted to stop walking and rest. If he had to do so under a canopy of tree branches instead of a roof, then so be it. As long as he could stop moving long enough to gather his thoughts, he would be content with wherever they made their metaphorical beds for the night.

Ambling along beside her into the trees, his breath hitched as he felt her suddenly take his hand in hers. Her touch still made his heart flutter no matter what he told himself about the reasons why they couldn’t be together, and the way she stroked his skin made him want to forget about the fact that they had to part altogether. Hesitantly, he glanced up from the ground to meet her gaze but didn’t pull away from her as he had done in the apartment. Judging by the words she spoke, he guessed she had noticed the shift in his mood since the bombing. Her assurance didn’t quite hit the mark, since he had been discouraged by the fact that his father didn’t seem to care about his safety, but he still appreciated that she was trying to cheer him up. At least he had one person on his side.

At the thought, he blinked and then turned away from her with an incredulous smile. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but the amnesiac was currently the only person in his life who wanted him to make it out of the warring districts alive. The realization swelled his affection for her, and he laced his fingers with hers as they walked. “Thank you,” he murmured with genuine appreciation. He was also starting to wonder if there was even any point in pushing her away anymore. The people he had known in the capital obviously didn’t miss him, and standing beside him now was a woman who was quite literally risking everything to make sure he wasn’t killed by the rebels. Was he really going to toss her aside to go back to his so called friends and family, who might not even be happy to see him return?

I don’t think I want to… but I have to, don’t I? he frowned, feeling conflicted. As much as he would have loved to stay with Iris, he still had a responsibility to take over as the next monarch after his father. Everyone was expecting him to do it, so it would have been wrong of him to abandon his duties to run away with a commoner. But, then again, what was the point in giving up his own happiness to make a group of people happy who couldn’t care less if he died? Iris’s father had been right. They didn’t care about him, so why should he sacrifice everything for them?

As they stepped into a small clearing, he watched Iris absently until he remembered that she had been running a fever. She was ill, and yet she was going out of her way to make sure he was taken care of. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that he should have been the one taking care of her, not the other way around. Sitting down beside her on the blanket she had rolled out for them, he slipped the backpack from her hands. “Let me,” he volunteered, taking the water bottles out and handing one to her.

Setting the bag aside, he leaned back on the palm of one hand while he lifted the drink to his lips to wet his tongue. The cool water felt refreshing as it swept down his throat, washing away all the dirt that had lodged itself there from the explosions. When he’d had his fill, he put the cap back on and set it off to the side near the backpack and looked up at Iris again. “How are you feeling?” he asked, hoping that she wasn’t as sick as she had been earlier, but knowing that all the running around they had just done had probably made her worse. “If you need to take a nap, you can. I’ll keep watch.”

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

Probably a good thing xD
I'm excited to write all of Crow's reunions with the people he left behind when he moved to the castle

Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

“Goodnight,” Crow said in return to Penelope before he stepped over to join the other two men in the middle of the room. Their bed would be the floor for the night, so he didn’t remove his surcoat like he had before. It would be his substitute for a blanket to fend off the chilly winter air. Instead, he only took off his boots and laid down in the gap between Preston and Percival, who seemed to have decided to take up the outer edges before he’d returned from his brief getaway with the knight. He wondered absently if Otto had ordered them to do that, so he would have the warmest spot in the middle, or if they had made the decision on their own. Either way, there was no reason to question them about it, so he said nothing as he wadded his cloak up into a makeshift pillow and slipped it under his head to sleep.

--

The next morning, Crow stirred at the sound of a bed creaking. He stretched wearily and rolled from his side onto his back. His body was slightly stiff from laying on hard planks of wood all night in combination with the cool air in the room that had made him tense his muscles to keep warm, but he’d woken up feeling worse. These days, if he managed to make it until daybreak without being startled awake by a nightmare, he counted it as a restful sleep. A little stiffness was nothing compared to the burden of feeling exhausted all day.

As he oriented himself to reality, he noticed belatedly that Otto was the one who had roused him from his slumber. The baron had climbed out of his bed and had begun putting his armor back on while everyone else slowly woke up in response to the rattling and clanking of the metal plates. It wasn’t the most pleasant way to get up in the morning, but it was better than being shaken and prodded like some people preferred to do, so the viceroy couldn’t complain. He sat upright with his weight supported on the palm of one hand, rubbing his eyes tiredly with the heel of the other. At his side, Preston looked even more drowsy, but the attendant still forced himself to clamber to his feet to start putting their belongings together for the next leg of the trip. On his other side, Percival was already seated and was in the middle of pulling his long hair into a braid to keep it out of his face before they left.

The knight glanced at him when he noticed the former thief looking his way and nodded formally, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Crow’s response was far sloppier as it was interrupted halfway with a broad yawn.

“I hope everyone slept well,” Otto said, though his tone was more curt than it was warm. “We have another long trip ahead of us, and we need to leave soon to try to get a large enough room at the inn in Silverpool.”

Silverpool. Crow blinked as the realization struck him that he would probably see Evelyn again while he was there. He felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness, eager to catch up with her but uncertain how she would react when she found out what he’d been up to since the last time they had seen each other. Like most peasants, she wasn’t fond of noblemen. Nevertheless, she knew him better than most people did, so he hoped that the bond they’d formed over the years would be stronger than any resentment she might feel when she learned he’d taken on the title of viceroy. With that thought in mind, he rose to his feet to put his boots and cloak back on.

~Bonsoir~

As Victoria smiled back at him, it struck Vail for the first time that there were no more barriers between them. Now that she wasn’t human anymore, his father couldn’t use their differing races as a reason to keep them apart. Not that Peter had the mental capacity to try to separate them anymore. Ever since he’d found his family—or what remained of them—in the barn, the clan leader had been a shell of his former self. It seemed like he had taken the blame for the fact that a Wynter had massacred the Hygraces for the second time. Technically it was his fault that they hadn’t been prepared to defend themselves, but now his father was causing them new issues by not stepping up in a time when they needed him the most. As a result, he’d been leading the clan in the patriarch’s stead.

When she leaned up to meet his lips, he pressed into her fervently, making up for the lack of strength on her end of the kiss. From what he recalled in the tome he’d read, it was going to take some time before she regained her energy after veritably dying for a week. He could see that her fangs hadn’t developed yet either. Human blood would be the fastest way to help her recover, but since she didn’t have the tools she needed to hunt—nor the experience or the strength necessary to be successful—regular food and water would have to serve as a placeholder until she was capable of drinking from someone’s neck at all.

Parting from the kiss, he met her gaze again, delighted as always to hear her express her affection for him. “I love you too,” he reciprocated, then smiled again as he was struck with a thought. “I’m not sure if you’re aware, but you’re already starting to show some changes.” He reached up to caress her cheek gently with his fingers. “Your eyes look like amethyst… They’re beautiful.” He was unsure if she would like the color her irises had taken on or not, but he genuinely found them stunning. Besides, it wasn’t like she would ever be able to see them for herself. Now that she was a vampire, she would no longer have a reflection in the mirror.

In another part of the house, he could hear Lady Diana Crest shuffling about, performing some task or another as she went about her day. He had enjoyed being the first face Victoria saw when she awoke, but now that she was coherent enough to speak, he supposed he shouldn’t keep her all to himself much longer. Pulling back from her just slightly, he turned his head toward the door and called out, “Diana, bring water.” He presumed the widow would understand the purpose behind his request, since he had never asked her for water before, so he didn’t elaborate. Instead, he turned back to his formerly human lover and pressed another kiss to her forehead while he waited for her mother to oblige.