Avatar of Utrax
  • Last Seen: 3 yrs ago
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 745 (0.16 / day)
  • VMs: 4
  • Username history
    1. Utrax 12 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

3 yrs ago
Current Bok Bok I'm An Omen Bok-KAW!
2 likes
4 yrs ago
Birb Scream In Morning As Battery Replacement Alarm Because Birb Not Real.
2 likes
5 yrs ago
Fighting Vagrants Behind Dennys Over Pancake @ 11PM Tonight As Birb.
2 likes
6 yrs ago
BE like bird. Wake in morning. SCREAM at sun. SHIT on enemy.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Girl is like bird. DO approach calmly. DO greet kindly. DO offer cornchip.
6 likes

Bio


An absolute WILDCARD of an RPer
(apparently)
Due to sudden and multiple very lengthy hiatus periods, please assume I don't remember who you are but, I probably think your name is familiar. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
U T R A X is a being that likes to Type Words on the INTERNET.

Most Recent Posts

Red's gone cause they're having a bad time personally.
:(
And the sophisticated nature of our fearless leader!
'' They're guests!''

'' No one is on board. Someone in this town poisoned them and I was the only survivor! I've come seeking revenge for my fellow traders''

Prince Tol Anzi-de Carragua

@AnyAlex

And this was what made Prince Tol plant his foot, then completely change directions on the spot, suddenly charging back toward Marcus and Val. His hand was on his blade now as he screeched, "Guests? Guests that LIE? I see conflict in these words now-- are you headed home or seeking REVENGE?!" Slowing his walk, Prince Tol officially Drew His Blade-- it unsheathed with a slight glow, being obviously enchanted somehow. "One of you mus explain. Right now. Why I shouldn't begin dissecting YOU, TRADER, for the truth written in your blood," Prince Tol demanded rather... calmly. The change in his demeanor conflicted with the fact he'd halted and taken a fighting stance.

In the distance, that Royal Guard smacked their helmeted face with an armored palm, and spurred their horse to catch up with the group. They shouted, "Prince Tol, by the gods, if you harm that man not even His Majesty will take pity on you!"
Welcome to the Guild!
I hope you enjoy your time here!


The S.S. Orgy Porgy Borgy

"Hey, bitch--"
Madison


Mariah didn't even look over, she just continued fanning herself casually. It was Tory who looked at Madison and barked, "I ain' no bitch-- who you callin' bitch, ya bitch?!"

"I thought you said Blake was on the front of the boat? We look back there and he ain't even there. What 'fraid we'll take your little sugar daddy from you? Not my fault that you're ugly."
Madison


And of course, Tory was practically growling like a damn attack dog, before Mariah placed a placating hand upon his shoulder. With a pat pat, she turned to face Madison, Tory between them, and she began to fan him. In a rather warning tone, she began, "Sis..." her brows raised as she looked from Tory, to Madison, as if trying to non-verbally communicate Madison had better chill.

"I ain't sure if you notice but," with her other hand, Mariah gestured quite dramatically to the ship, "Number one, this ship big as fuck. Number two? Do it look like I got a damn GPS tracker on a damn millionare? Number three, who the fuck is you wit' yo Purple People Eater swimsuit havin', Mad Max wanna be haircut head, hot-air balloon titties havin' ass?"

Tory started laughing as Mariah continued, actually lowering the volume of her voice, "We been called worse by betta-- you can go take them ashy lips, knees, and attitude back to the Motel dumpster mattress ya mom scraped you off for child support for you fuck around n' sink the ship, with yo' fat ass Godzilla steps-- felt you walk over here before you even said shit-- Plus Blake over there puttin' out fires n' shit anyway. Bye." Sure, she could have lead with that but Madison has just called her friend a bitch-- an ugly bitch. That man didn't deserve that. At this point, Tory was doubled over wheezing in laughter, and Mariah continued fanning him. Her face? A stoic and neutral mask as she projected hella 'say something else' vibes.
"Indeed I do," replied the Royal Guard, dismounting the horse slowly. They raised their brows at the sight of Prince Tol in the distance, letting out a sigh of relief as they looked over the immediate area, with a, "He hasn't. Uh. Harmed anyone yet? I take it?" Shaking their head, the guard handed over the parchment. "I believe it may be of interest to you, good sir, as the Queen herself said foreigners were expected. Due to the late hour, it can be assumed she is readying herself as well as the King for audience with. Ah. Whoever this is-- if I'm to be honest, I'm uncertain this is the correct ship, but she has her ways of determine that. Undoubtedly detailed in here?" Shrugging, the guard then moved toward the Prince, calling out, "Prince Tol! I believe Her Highness requires your presence back at the castle." This wasn't exactly a lie but it definitely wasn't truth. Clearly this guard was trying to prevent a... situation.

Within the letter handed to Head Guard Val, there were very specific instructions to read aloud to the crew-- in the case that any of them were illiterate-- that would act as a deescalation of sorts. It would help reassure them that they were welcome, that the King had expected them, that they were to be treated as honorable guests, and that they needed to be escorted to the castle immediately. Signed at the bottom was the Queen's signature, alongside mention of a reward for escorting them to the castle.





Prince Tol Anzi-de Carragua

@AnyAlex

While Prince Tol has made a clever plan, the fact that he was gullible pretty much made that plan worthless. He completely believed Marcus' accent as well as his story. "Ah, very well then, carry on my good man," replied the Prince. Just as he turned to continue down the docks, he noticed Head Guard Val's absence, then found himself turning around again. Was he talking to a Royal Guard? Where had that guy come from? Shaking very subtly, Prince Tol stared at the two, just as the Royal Guard called out to him.

A whine-- like the noise of a hot teapot-- escaped Prince Tol before he yelled back, "For what?! I am about to handle a situation here!" He was very much whining at this point, "How do they expect me to go there when I have to handle things here? Look, man, look at this ship! I have to handle this! His Majesty will be most impressed with my handling of this-- even HER HIGHNESS," he said the words with a hiss, "Will be impressed with my ability to handle this!" Prince Tol shook-- no. No. He was not going back, not now, when he was so close to doing something diplomatic and useful. Abruptly and without warning, he turned and began sprinting toward the foreign vessel down the dock. They never trusted him to do anything-- he was second for the throne! Second. Which meant that he had to at least prove he could handle diplomatic issues. Whenever he had the chance, they never let him, and he was not about to miss out on this one, just because they wanted him at the castle for something silly.

Prince Tol Anzi-de Carragua

@AnyAlex

Once the Guard began to follow, Prince Tol began to make his way toward the ship... but there was something odd about the fellow, emerging from the shadows, non-chalantly walking by. Of course the Prince noticed the crossbow in Marcus' hand. Tilting his head from side to side he seemed to contemplate just what it meant as he came to a halt. Turning sharply, he pointed toward Marcus and shouted, "You! Citizen! Do you not know the procedure of reciting the royal greeting of the week when passing ROYALTY?! Recite the greeting, now! Right now!"

Which was impossible as there was no such thing. He knew, the Head Guard probably knew, but would a foreigner and/or a suspicious tradesman walking with a crossbow, know? Prince Tol was nearly giddy with the cleverness of his little trap.

Hoofbeats grew in volume as a horse, bearing the royal colors, came galloping up to the docks. The Royal Guard seemed rather confused as to what was going on or who to talk to-- had they not noticed the Prince yet?


The S.S. Orgy Porgy -- On "stage"


They had been in the middle of performing the third song when...

"... Fire!"
Somebody


"Fire?" Someone in the crowd said as another remarked, "Oh my god there's a fire!" Mariah didn't have time to think about the very palpable wave of panic sweeping the crowd, that they were very in the middle of dancing into, when Tory picked her up. To the a chorus of confusion and mild panic, just as people began to scramble, Tory took her to the edge of the crowd, then turned to face it-- his sword raised and shield ready. He stood between Mariah and the crowd as a few people, simply put, began freaking the fuck out. They were positioned near a railing with the entirety of the crowd at their front, as people began to walk and shove, and drunkenly stumble... and then clap?

"Woah! Blake put it out!"

Rather cheekily, a song began playing over the speakers, and Mariah turned her eyes upward. Of course she immediately locked eyes with Maxi, who shrugged innocently. Deeply sighing, Mariah patted Tory's sweaty-as-hell shoulder, and told him, "I am not. Jumping overboard. And ruining this good wig."

Tory laughed then snapped at someone who got a little too close-- "BACK UP!" The person drunkely panicked in the other direction at the sight of the sword, and Tory spit to the side. Tory yelled at a couple that stumbled toward them, brandishing his weapon and growling, "Don' touch the fuckin' goods-- que mierda quieres hijueputa?!"

Mariah threw her hands up, raised her brows, then opened her fan to fan herself as she leaned against the railing, mumbling, "Estoy perdiendo mi puto quicio, but at least we got paid already."
Tory whistled lowly,"How you talk him into paying upfront?"
"Oh, that was all Ma. You know how she is. Probably give him some dick growth Santeria bullshit," Mariah shrugged, "I hate when she fake bein' a Mexican Exorcist Fortune Teller Witch whatever the hell."
Laughing again, Tory replied, "We good den, huh? Fire no fire, we good. Dance or not we good. Shieeeeeeet. Fuck'em."
"Fuck 'em," Mariah agreed, staring at the upper floors with a chuckle, as Maxi began dancing to the music.

I'm interested!
Do you want a character sheet first?
I'd like to play a Dwarf Ice Mage.
Prince Tol Anzi-de Carragua

@AnyAlex

"Royal Sleep is being taken! Don't you see what hour it is," replied the Prince with a gesture at the sky. "And I have successfully prevented you FOOLS from awakening either of them with your asinine foreign ships--" he seemed to be growing suddenly more irritated as he spoke "--when I or my SIBLINGS are more than capable of HANDLING such a thing! ME! I CAN HANDLE IT!" Prince Tol was shaking now, in the way he tended to do before further screaming. "Come--COME COME! Bring the guards! We are going to INVESTIGATE," he yelled, hand on his blade, "And dispatch whatever VILLAINS may LURK!"

Meanwhile... a horse was approaching from the castle but it was still a ways away.
And a Queen was about to send for a servant.
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