Wernher

Countries as people: World War One

Germany weathered the storm with a smile. There was truth in what he said about daddy issues, and she was willing to recognize it. But when you spawn from the death of thousands of Frenchmen and spend your youth raised by someone as fucked up as Prussia, violent screaming is something you got used to. Right now Britain reminded her so much of her daddy. She remained silent for a moment but still dared to reply.

"Or what?"

...

There was a point in these simple words. Britain, as much as he wanted, couldn't do a thing alone, even with his colonies all he could touch were in his own words, miserable South-West African colonies. In continental affairs, Britain needed an ally willing to strike first. Oh how Germany just wanted to throw her head back and laugh! But that would be stepping down to Britain's level... well, his current level. Words were cheap, to waste them was wasting a free chance to better your situation. Britain should know that, he knew that before, when he back-stabbed everyone he possibly could to advance himself in any possible way.

"I'm sorry! Cultural differences and like you say in the most horrible way, my dad wasn't one to knock before entering, but... come on, Britain, I know we aren't in the best of terms but are you going to ditch me for France? After what he did to us?! Or... Russia?! I mean for the love of... Japan, how can you stand in the same room as the guy?! And Britain, what would our grand mother say if she saw us uh? Queen Victoria?" Indeed, Britain's royalty as as German as Germany's was British, witch was quite a lot. "What would your ancestors say about you defending a country where people speak french?! They'd laugh at you Britain, they'd..."

Germany dropped the act when she could see it did nothing but make Britain seethe silently, her sympathetic mannerism stopping but her smile remaining. He could see through her, she could tell. But hey, nothing lost. Sweet talking, promising things you don't even mean, Britain had written the book and Germany kept it close to her heart.

"I'll take my leave then... I guess I'll see you at the 'Colonial Scrapping Convention' Japan, not a whole lot of places left in the world for those who started the whole colonial race later down the line. And you America..." She stopped for a moment while looking at the eagle. Finally, she just had a laugh while shaking her head. "And they say I have daddy issues!" Ooooh yes, this was only the start Britain. Germany left in silence, confident she was the one who won the most today, despite how disastrous that had been.

Countries as people: World War One

@Dannyrulx

Countries as people: World War One

Movie Theater

Germany couldn't help but twitch at the mention of France, a slight look of disgust and annoyance appearing on her face for a second. France wasn't a menace, not anymore, but it was still something that would need to be dealt with. She slashed the air with her hand, speaking decisively, her 'educated guess' being fact in her mind. "France doesn't know when to let go, any move I do, he'll be there to meddle and stand against us. If we're lucky he'll just throw money at the problem and I'll just walk in a bankrupt nation later on. But likely he still thinks he has a chance and will charge in head down to his doom. Fine by me."

As for Britain, if he was stupid he'd stand by the side line and watch her crush all opposition and wait until she turned on him, if he was smarter he'd join against her while he still had a chance in hell to win and if he was smartest, he'd side with her and snag France's colonies in the process. Germany didn't say this to Osmani however, she knew how personal it was for that Turk to have the Brits in Egypt and saying that Germany wanted to have Britain with her rather than against her would maybe make Osmani think she was just an ally of convenience because nothing better was available, which to be honest was totally the case. Germany fully expected Osmani to be completely trashed in the war but that would require manpower and resources that she herself wouldn't have to face in Europe. Yes, worst case scenario the Entente obliterated Osmani instantly but would still have to spend time and effort maintaining her dominion under control and in case of a miracle, Osmani could be able to push out Britain and take Suez and secure his oil. It was a win-win.

Germany nodded to her own assessment and came back to reality to note what was being said. Yes, a railway would allow her to give Osmani support to hold out or fail to do so as needed. "Agreed. Bulgaria will cave, if revenge isn't motivation enough we can always promise some territories or whatnot." Having said that, Germany turned to Austria and gave her a sly smile. "I guess maybe you haven't lost your hand, Österreich! If you have this under control then do what you must and feel free to say you speak in my name, that generally makes things move faster but..." She regained seriousness, pointing a finger at Osmani. "I only give that right to family. We'll keep our plans quiet to make sure Britain and Russia sleep easy for now and remember Ottomane, the target of this war is Russia, not Britain, so don't start something you can't finish alone..." She was silent for a few seconds before cracking a smile. "THIS war..." And then of course, there would be the next.

"Well, it almost doesn't look like you two girls spent the better part of half a millennium trying to eviscerate one another, so I'll leave the Balkan front to you two since you seem capable enough... and because I frankly don't care. Just try and make a nice looking map without weird borders. I'll handle things in the north so I should get back to Berlin. See ya!" Without much care, Germany left, the sound of her jackboots on the ground echoing in the empty street.

Britain's House

There was quite the ruckus in London, but what could be the cause? Well, one only needed to arrive at Britain's Londonian house to see a large crowd gathering around to point at the massive airship that was tied down in the garden. To travel in style, Britain had Rolls Royce, but Germany had the Deutsche Luftschiffahrts-Aktiengesellschaft.

A hundred years ago, british admiral Lord Jervis had said to the house of lords "I do not say, my Lords, that the French will not come. I say only they will not come by sea"... Well, that amusing little joke wasn't so funny anymore now was it? Inside the house, Germany had been let in by Ireland and was talking about the most fascinating of subjects, beer. "Black beer is the ultimate alcoholic beverage, if only because of how nutritive it is." Replied a knowledgeable Ireland to her guess while she was sipping on a huge mug of the stuff. "Well, I don't know about that, I have to admit I prefer blonds. You should come to my Oktoberfest next year and see if you come around to my opinion. In the meantime, this Guinness isn't half bad! At least much better than American Beer. Budweiser, more like Pißwasser!" Germany laughed at her own joke and Ireland followed, even if he had no idea what that meant. He stopped however when he heard familiar footsteps and turned to look at Britain entering with his guests.

"Well, if it isn't the Overlord himself. Stopped to snag a colony or two on your way home did you?" Ireland got up, adjusting his beany hat before taking his cleaning supplies. "Day's work is done. I'll leave you guys to talk about your world conquest stuff." As he was about to cross the door however, he stopped to turn back and point at Britain. "And if I catch Wales trying to shag one of my sheep again, I swear to the one Catholic God that I'll beat his arse back to your shitty island, A'ight?!" Without allowing his master to respond to him (or to beat him for his insolence), he closed the door behind him and got running. Which left Britain, America and Japan in the same room.

Germany smiled. It was... unsettling. Too wide for her face, almost as if she had cut her mouth wider with that bayonet she always carried. She took a few steps toward the trio, widening her arms. "Britain! I see you brought guests. Well, forgive me for the intrusion, I just had to talk to you about a couple of things and met Ireland here! He was kind enough to let me in and we shared a beer while we waited, speaking of which, let me just..." Having said this, the oh so youthful Germany took the pint of Guinness and threw her head back, drinking... drinking... drinking... the content was quickly going down her gullet but there was so much. When she was about halfway done, she raised a black leather-clad finger to tell the trio to please hold until she, finally, swallowed the last of the content in that one go and took a deep breath. "Phew!"

Wiping the frothing on her lips with her sleeve, she finally re centered her attention on the owner of the house and the people he had actually invited in. "Sorry, where are my manners my friends! I see you brought your best colony and the miracle of the east!" Having said this, she walked with enthusiasm toward America to give him a bear hug. With the strength surprisingly close to one considering her small size. "Wie ist es dir gegangen? Haha, c'mon, I know you can speak German and I'm sure your dad won't mind. There's so much of German in you that we're practically siblings at this point!" Largest non english speaking people in America after all... suddenly however, Germany seemed to become deeply concerned as if she had forgotten something extremely important. "Oh... Amerika, I am so, so sorry for calling you a colony, I forget about the whole independence thing. You know, we only meet in World Meetings where you..." The concerned look on her face softened to become that of extreme contempt as the continued to talk. "...always vote like your dad. Every. Single. Time. Hard to remember you have a will of your own." Germany gave the eagle a little fistbump on the chest before turning toward Japan.

Her smile returning. "And you my friend, I trust you still find your choice to task me rather than France to train your army was the good one? China certainly seems to think so actually, word is she's considering asking me to do the same to hers!" That should make the slant eyes bastard sweat a little. But finally... there was the lion in the room.

When she turned to face Britain, Germany's features softened. Slowly, deliberately, she took off her cap to the bow down to him. No one got such a mark of respect from Germany, no one but Britain. But as her eyes rose from the ground to look inside Britain's, the onlookers would find in them something extremely predatory and menacing, a tiger ready to pounce. "Britain... my mentor, my idol and my friend... I hope." She straightened her back and despite that it was because he was so much taller than her, the way Germany raised her chin to look at him seemed to inspire nothing else but defiance. "Did you see my new ride? Of course you saw it. A Luftfahrzeug... Airship, in English, though we call them 'Zeppelins'. Haha, I guess I saw how you made a 'plane' America, so I told myself since it wasn't France or... or anyone else that would defend European pride I had to do it! Tons of steel, made lighter than air. Only a question of time until these can cross the Atlantic actually, already going to fair England is trivial." She watched Britain for his reaction with the corner of her eyes before turning to Japan. "Bet you don't see that in Asia uh?"

Countries as people: World War One

See what I did there?

Countries as people: World War One

Movie Theater

Germany had spent the entire movie sharpening her bayonet and thinking. Not about the predicament her aunt was in, the balkans being so far away from her mind it wasn't even a thing worth considering to her, but rather thinking about her last meeting with Britain during the Conference to diffuse the second Moroccan crisis a short while ago. Oh of course there had been everyone else that mattered there too, Russia, France, even America (Osmani hadn't been included even if they talked about a muslim nation, which made Germany wonder why she and Austria even hung out with her.). Of course, everyone but Austria had been against her. To be completely honest, she didn't give a damn about these people... only about Britain.

She had honestly expected him to side with her just to fuck with France but, against all odds, the old coot had decided to side with the frog, rather than her! Well, she couldn't blame him, Germany, after all, realized how powerful she herself was, so this was a sign that people began to understand how unfathomably superior she was and thus wanted to contain her! It was a compliment really that Britain began to crap his pants at the whisper of the name 'Geeermanyyyyy', but it made her life complicated as well. Without Britain, the task of steamrolling over France and Russia at the same time went from cakewalk to something she'd need to put her back into.

It was what brought her back to reality when her Aunt said that name, Russia. That alcoholic mess of a nation... she was actually trying to lay back from the bottle. Good for her, but very bad for people who realized the potential Russia had. She has land, she has the resources and she has the people. Britain would only start to care the moment there was a land invasion of India and France, if he even had any relevance anymore, was too busy screaming 'Alsace-Lauraine!' followed by an autistic screeching to see what was going on beyond what Germany was doing. No, Germany would have to handle it and make sure all these resources Russia had were used for a good purpose. Her own glory!

"Balkan this, Balkan that..." Being at the center of the trio, Germany swayed her now very sharp bayonet left and right as she spoke. "You know what you do to solve minority problems?" An example of what people called Germany's evil. "You make it so they can either become German, and that doesn't mean invite them in your bed, Österreich, or move away to become Americans or whatever. Now, they can also call themselves 'Polish', but since Poland doesn't exist anymore, Polish isn't a thing either!" Germany's contempt smile became wider as she tightened her grip on her bayonet. "And then you make sure nowhere is there to be found a thing such as a 'Pole living in Poland'." With extreme prejudice... it was easy to think Germany was right and that her single minded attitude of rather than solving a problem, making it disappear was the right one with how silent the 'Polish Problem' had been between her Germanification and Russia's Russification, but history would prove her wrong, not that anyone knew that at the moment.

"So Ottomane is right, Österreich! Its not that big of a problem and I'm sure you can take care of it yourself auntie, at least if you aren't lazy and let the problem fester for 300 years that is." Her grin turned to Osmani as Germany sent that jab playfully. Nothing wrong with friendly mockery of a country's history! Of course they couldn't mock her back since Germany was only 40 years old right now and had no real defeat to speak of. Not allowing for an immediate comeback on the part of her muslim 'Friend' however, Germany raised her bayonet above her head, pointing at Osmani's throat. The youthful country had become serious all of a sudden, the stern look of Bismark on her face. "BUT..." She had a smug smile as she acknowledged Austria's comment. "You also should listen to Österreich, Ottomane. I DO know better. I know that while you are both arguing about the spoiled leftover you guys left under the sun for too long in the Balkans, there is Russia." She sheathed her blade.

"Russia with her huuuuuge land and manpower..." Saying this, Germany couldn't help but mimic herself holding two large round objects she wished she had at the level of her chest... "The rest of Poland, Ukraine, the Caucasus... Guys, if you want to become big, you have to dream big! So, Ottomane... this isn't about Serbia, no... this is about being in a better position to grab Russia and squeeze..." Having said this, she began rather to fondle these invisible orbs. "...Get Poland and some of the Caucasus, that would be nice and easy..." With this, her hands crisped, smile widened and pupils became smaller. "But we should really get in there and get Ukraine and... CHINESE COLONIES out of it! MWUAHAHAHAHA!"

Germany was gone for a few seconds there, laughing like a maniac while she was thinking about what name she'd give Vladivostok and how she'd construct a beach house in Sevastopol. For Austria, this was a normal habit Germany had though maybe Osmani wouldn't be so used to it. Slowly it died down, leaving Germany in a really good mood. "Ottomane... That's the thing, you join us and you help us to grab Russia by her lower region!" Saying this, Germany extended a hand out and for a moment, looked like she was about to molest Osmani's lower region as well but ultimately, stopped at proposing a handshake.

Countries as people: World War One

Well, war will start early I feel. Too bad, I was expecting some pre-war banter with the others and a naval dick contest between Germany and Britain.

This galaxy isn't yours! (On hiatus)

I live, just busy. I should be able to post this weekend, good friday and all. And by posting, I mean getting my things in order with @Liotrent, start a collab with @Ozerath and continue the one with @Sophrus.

Countries as people: World War One

Countries as people: World War One

Name: German Empire, Erika von Brandenburg



Allegiance: Central Power

Personality:
Germany is one of the youngest nation in Europe after it spawned from Prussia, getting strong from feeding from what was left of the Holy Roman Empire after France kicked the whole rotten thing down during the Napoleonic Wars. As such, she is eager to live up to the mighty legacy of its ancestors and add on to it, succeeding where the HRE failed and become a new Rome, Emperor of the World by birthright! Still, as a nation born in the middle of war and raised by Prussia, this makes Erika rather... agressive. Oh, the others like to paint her as a total psycho which is... partially true, fact is she's actually more grounded in reality than others. She doesn't fight for honor, a legacy or ideology, but rather to achieve total victory and as such, she's quite rational and able to be negotiated with, providing you can place her in a position where negotiation is an easier option than just taking what she wants by force.

Likes: Real leather jackboots, people complimenting and pampering her, winning at everything, beating up her old bullies, Großdeutschland, Lebensraum.

Dislikes: Being told she lacks experience, status quo, France's army, Britain's navy, Russia's manpower, Kleindeutschland.

Special Talent:
Military Innovation: Its understandable, other nations have been there for long so in war, they have 'their thing', the tactic that defines them. Germany is young and hasn't quite found what satisfies her yet. Something fast, but also armored with a big gun maybe? Bah, until then Erika will surprise her enemies at every turn with new innovations!

Weaknesses:
-My way or the highway: Erika isn't a team player and she certainly isn't anyone's subordinate. Stubborn as hell, either things will go the way she says or she'll pout until she gets her way.

-Flatterers: Germany is overeager to see people groveling to her, complimenting its righteous might and incredible culture! As such when someone actually bends the knee to butter her up without having force them, Erika can't get enough of it.

Familial Relationships:
-Austria: They call the two of them brother and sister, but the truth is Austria is Germany's uncle, one who should have shut up, died and joined a Großdeutschland! Erika is still mad that Austria is still a thing and finds his wife is a total bitch at that. She really feels the need to force him on his knees and under her orders.

-France: Distant relatives, its... complicated. Since France formed the Rhine Confederation that formed the basis of a united German nation, France is partly Germany's adoptive mom but she and dad (Prussia) hated each other's guts. Really, Erika considers France to be an old nemesis that she's over with after she trashed it in 1870, but its always fun to bully France just out of spite for the whole Napoleon thing.

-Italy: The Holy Roman Empire adopted Italy's grand-dad's name because it was badass so now Germans act like if they are part of Italy's family even if they have nothing to do with it. In Erika's mind, Italy's just another lackey to command around like Austria.

Other: EEEEEEEEEEEERRRIIIKAAAAAAAAA!!!

Countries as people: World War One

Name: German Empire, Erika von Brandenburg



Allegiance: Central Power

Personality:
Germany is one of the youngest nation in Europe after it spawned from Prussia, getting strong from feeding from what was left of the Holy Roman Empire after France kicked the whole rotten thing down during the Napoleonic Wars. As such, she is eager to live up to the mighty legacy of its ancestors and add on to it, succeeding where the HRE failed and become a new Rome, Emperor of the World by birthright! Still, as a nation born in the middle of war and raised by Prussia, this makes Erika rather... agressive. Oh, the others like to paint her as a total psycho which is... partially true, fact is she's actually more grounded in reality than others. She doesn't fight for honor, a legacy or ideology, but rather to achieve total victory and as such, she's quite rational and able to be negotiated with, providing you can place her in a position where negotiation is an easier option than just taking what she wants by force.

Likes: Real leather jackboots, people complimenting and pampering her, winning at everything, beating up her old bullies, Großdeutschland, Lebensraum.

Dislikes: Being told she lacks experience, status quo, France's army, Britain's navy, Russia's manpower, Kleindeutschland.

Special Talent:
Military Inovation: Its understandable, other nations have been there for long so in war, they have 'their thing', the tactic that defines them. Germany is young and hasn't quite found what satisfies her yet. Something fast, but also armored with a big gun maybe? Bah, until then Erika will surprise her enemies at every turn with new innovations!

Weaknesses:
-My way or the highway: Viktoria isn't a team player and she certainly isn't anyone's subordinate. Stubborn as hell, either things will go the way she says or she'll pout until she gets her way.

-Flatterers: Germany is overeager to see people groveling to her, complimenting its righteous might and incredible culture! As such when someone actually bends the knee to butter her up without having force them, Erika can't get enough of it.

Familial Relationships:
-Austria: They call the two of them brother and sister, but the truth is Austria is Germany's uncle, one who should have shut up, died and joined a Großdeutschland! Erika is still mad that Austria is still a thing and finds his wife is a total bitch at that. She really feels the need to force him on his knees and under her orders.

-France: Distant relatives, its... complicated. Since France formed the Rhine Confederation that formed the basis of a united German nation, France is partly Germany's adoptive mom but she and dad (Prussia) hated each other's guts. Really, Erika considers France to be an old nemesis that she's over with after she trashed it in 1870, but its always fun to bully France just out of spite for the whole Napoleon thing.

-Italy: The Holy Roman Empire adopted Italy's grand-dad's name because it was badass so now Germans act like if they are part of Italy's family even if they have nothing to do with it. In Erika's mind, Italy's just another lackey to command around like Austria.

Other: EEEEEEEEEEEERRRIIIKAAAAAAAAA!!!