[IC] Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

[EliteCommander]

Meesei's expression started to become mildly agitated. "Of course I do not know those things. There is no way I could know them. There is limitless knowledge available in that realm, so it is not easy to sort through. But I know there is an answer there, somewhere. Probably many answers. Even if it is not a cure to the soul tearing gas, there is certainly some power, some knowledge that will allow us to end this war. I have already become drastically more powerful than I was before I started using it. I have had positive results, that cannot be denied."

Reaching out to Sabine, Meesei placed her hand lightly on her shoulder. "You cannot let the others get to you. You know me even better than they do; you know you can trust me."

---

Ahnasha raised her brow at Fendros. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you saying you wouldn't kill someone who deserved it for the sake of Meesei? I certainly would; I want to get her back in good health, like things used to be. I almost wish there was an enemy spy in the clan we could pin the theft on. That would make all of this so much easier; we could help Meesei without risking any of the rest of us."

Ahnasha crossed her arms. "I don't understand what kind of problem you have with it. I mean, our clan has had to punish people for crimes against the clan before. Having anyone killed is very rare, granted, but if there was a criminal like that in the clan, wouldn't you say that would be a good solution?"

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine finally looked back at Meesei when she touched her. "The others? Meesei, I have seen everything before they even talked about it." Sabine's gaze did not last long before she looked down and to one side again. "You are not...present anymore. When I see you, you are distant. You hardly speak. You forget things. Each time you go into the book, it gets worse, and there is nothing I can do about it because all you do is tell me to trust you. I have told myself I can trust you hundreds of times up until this point, and each time you get worse."

After a couple of huffed breaths, Sabine's eye began to redden. "I am not a scared little girl anymore. I have learned. Learned enough to see what is happening to you, even if you cannot. So...no, I do not know if I can trust you. Not anymore. Not with that." Sabine pointed to the book nearby. "You are searching for a grain of sand in an ocean. You have no guarantee. You cannot even say that you would find a solution at all, even if it should exist. You need to stop. I need you to stop. Or, at least...go back to the schedule you had at the beginning. Otherwise things are going to start falling down around you and you will not care. You will get angry like you did before, or maybe you are now, and then push everything else away. Please."

---

"I think you are confusing what I am trying to ask," Fendros said He did not break eye contact. "The question wasn't about the effectiveness of such a plan, or whether I would make such sacrifices to save Meesei. Certainly, I would." He raised a hand. "I have just always seen taking lives as a last resort. You have suggested to do so without any second thought. Here and before."

[EliteCommander]

Meesei started to bare her teeth slightly. "I am...shocked you would say such things about me. The others I might understand; they do not possess the magical knowledge to know the kind of power I could obtain. But you? You are one of the most promising mages I have ever seen, and you are educated with all of the history of past scholars that I gave you. You know what kind of power is out there, and you know what it could do for us. You are my daughter, the person I have cared about more than anyone else in my life. One of the primary reasons I am willing to sacrifice so much time in Apocrypha is to ensure you have a good future."

Meesei's anger was obvious, but it seemed to be mixed with disappointment as well. "How could you turn against me like this?"

---

"There were other ideas passed around before I said that. I think you just want to imagine me as some evil necromancer sacrificing children to Molag Bal or something. You are completely ignoring the fact that I specifically suggested pinning it on someone who deserved it, and that, honestly, we're pretty desperate right now. Our Champion, our friend, our family member, is in mortal danger that we've been trying to pull her away from for over a year. It's not like I tried to start killing people before we even talked to her." Ahnasha protested. After a few moments, she gave a sigh that showed from frustration beyond simple anger. "I'm not going to lie, it is getting frustrating with how you always have something to say about every single thing I do. I feel like you're trying to demonize me."

[Muttonhawk]

"No. Do not even dare." Sabine shook her head. "Do not push me away, Meesei. I need you to calm down and listen to me."

Sabine was evidently fearful by her racing heart and quivering arm, but her face turned to Meesei with a resolute scowl that was only seen at her limits. She had never stood up to Meesei like this before. "I do not want you to do this for my future. I do not want you to sacrifice this much for me. And you can not fool me into thinking that the next time you go in will be the time you find a way to end the war. You can no longer fool me for the next time, the time after that, or any other time anymore. I am here because I am watching my mother fade away for a false hope that she likes and it is causing me pain. I am not turning against you. You know I could any time I like, but I have not. I will not. The clans will turn against you before I do. They are closer to doing that. Much closer. And you already know why. So listen. Do not just push away."

---

Fendros leaned his head back and scrunched his eyes in futility. Ahnasha was still missing the point. Still, her later words did make his expression soften. He faced her with more sympathy. "Ahna, you know I love you. You are a talented, intelligent woman who has done more amazing things than anyone in the world. I am not trying to make you out to be some monster, and I'm sorry if I am coming across like that."

He shifted to lift one knee and sit on his side, facing Ahnasha more directly. He tried to speak candidly, as if the issue was not as serious as he had previously let on. "Look, if you make me one easy promise, I will never bother you about this ever again. Promise me that, outside of a fight, or life-or-death, and so on, you will not kill anyone unless you would do the same if it were me you were killing." Fendros lifted a small attempt at a reassuring smile.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei was now about as angry as she had been back in their meeting. She threw off her blanket and moved herself over to the edge of the bed so she could stand up. Glaring down at Sabine, she started to raise her voice. "I cannot believe this. I hope it was the others that turned you against me, because at least that would make some sense. My hope is not false; there is simply no way that the knowledge I need would be absent from Apocrypha. You should know that, with all I have taught you. I never wanted to push you away; I offered for you to join me. I gave you a chance to start using the book as well, and you refused me. With both of us looking, who knows what we could have found? This war might be over if you had just trusted me."

Meesei was practically at the point of growling at Sabine. Her mind was muddled by exhaustion, but that only served to rid her of her rationality and cause her to focus much more on emotion. "How dare you try to lecture me. I would never have imagined you capable of such ungratefulness, such...insolence! How dare you insult everything I have done for you, everything I have sacrificed!" Meesei's breathing became heavier as the rage grew within her. The culmination of each confrontation she had been through with others about the book had made her much more emotionally unstable. Now, she looked like a novice lycan being overwhelmed by a beast spirit, though her ring was keeping her beast perfectly in check. The anger was from her. "I have done everything for you; I have dedicated my life to raising you, to making you strong and happy. How dare you turn away from me. How DARE you!" She shouted. With her outburst, Meesei reared her hand back, then slapped Sabine across the face. Physically, Meesei was weak, but it was not likely physical pain that would hurt Sabine.

---

Contrary to what Fendros might have expected, Ahnasha looked more confused than anything. There were a few moments of silence between them before she started to speak. "I...can't say that. I mean, what is that promise, even? You want me to only kill people as if it were you? I...don't understand what you're asking of me. I only ever kill for important reasons. I don't kill trivially, and I don't know why you think I would."

Ahnasha showed some frustration, but not necessarily towards Fendros. She was more irritated at the apparent breakdown of communication between them. "I intend to kill our enemies and protect my friends, family, and allies. What more than that could you want?"

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine remained sitting down. Her face remained hard against Meesei's outburst, though she was still terrified inside. Meesei was acting so out of character that she was put on edge. It was enough that her reflexes kicked in when Meesei took a swing at her face. She threw up her arms and cringed her chin down, deflecting most of the blow, but still receiving scratches over her head. The start of a ward glowed in her hand before quickly fading out as she was shocked still.

Nothing sounded but Sabine's shallow breathing. She slowly lifted her head to look at Meesei with her face a red rictus of fear and despair. One high pitched, creaky word came from her mouth, barely audible. "Why?"

Before Meesei could so much as respond, Sabine began to hyperventilate in panic. She edged away, scrambled over to the edge of her seat on the bed, and ran for the door.

---

While Fendros kept his smile. He, too, lowered his brow in confusion. He shook his head to try and respond to the matter of whether she viewed death trivially, but she kept going. The straight question came with a straight enough answer, once Fendros thought about it for a second.

"Just some mercy, that's all," He said simply. "If that is something I am wrong about, if it's something you do and I haven't seen it, I am willing to admit that I'm wrong."

[EliteCommander]

In the aftermath of Meesei's fury and her outburst, she was left standing by the bed with Sabine running out of the room in fear. Meesei made no effort to stop her. In fact, she could hardly bring herself to do anything at all. She was frozen in place, staring straight ahead with heavy breaths. Even after Sabine had ran out of the room, she could not move. In the moment, she had wanted to give the punishment she thought was appropriate for the betrayal she perceived from Sabine, but when forced to face the sheer terror in Sabine's eyes, everything that had seemed to make so much sense to Meesei mere moments prior suddenly started to seem more irrational.

Regardless of anything Meesei was feeling, she could not bring herself to follow Sabine. She just looked down, staring at her own slightly reddened palm for what seemed like an eternity.

---

Ahnasha lightly shrugged. "Honestly, we're talking in such general terms that I could say pretty much anything right now and I don't know how much it would mean. You want me to show mercy, except for to the enemy, or in life or death situations, or anything equally as important. That...essentially covers every situation that I would kill someone in. I suppose I can agree to that, then. Maybe one day you can show me what situations you want to see mercy in. Although, on the other hand, I also hope we don't end up in that kind of situation. It's a lot easier when there is a distinct, unmistakable enemy."

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine did fling the door open and disappeared with echoing footfalls, leaving the door open. She sprinted through the streets, at first in simple fear, but then with difficult, spasming breaths. As she ran, she felt wet pins down her cheeks and on her shoulders as her vision began to blur. She wiped away the tears, and still they came, with stifled sobs. Eventually, a jutting flagstone made her stumble. She had only scraped her knee but it put her over the edge.

While trying to stand up, crying into the street, she transformed into a werewolf without her full control. Her beast form had grown over the years to be just as imposing as most of the rest of her pack. No longer was she quite as agile and lightweight. Fortunately for any onlookers, Sabine had just enough control to navigate safely -- albeit rapidly and fiercely -- to the abode of the nearest member of her pack. It happened to be Lorag this time.

She showed herself with flat ears, her tail between her legs, and sounding soft whimpers. She did not try to speak, even if she was capable of it at the time. She merely pressed her head into Lorag's chest, sat in place, and continued to whimper and whine.

---

Fendros sighed and looked up. At least Ahnasha was being patient with him. "Maybe that is the issue. Knowing what constitutes an enemy." He brought his eyes on Ahnasha and conceded. "Look, I think we are talking past each other. I don't know how to say this differently right now. But, for now, if you are willing to agree like you say, we could leave it there. I might suggest mercy every now and then, so if I do, and it's against your wishes, know that I'm not trying to put you down, okay?" Fendros offered a wider smile and put some humour on his voice. "It's just my thick skull. That, or I'm trying to beat your score when we spring ambushes."

[EliteCommander]

Lorag had been trying to find some way to be useful while waiting, but there was little he could do while waiting for Sabine. He supposed he could have tried speaking to Saras, but there was a small risk of Saras not entirely agreeing with their plan, and he did not want to take that risk unless it was necessary. Granted, he also did not think there was a great chance of Sabine actually being able to persuade Meesei, but there was at least little harm in it. Or, he thought there was not.

When Sabine burst into Lorag's room in beast form, whimpering like a wounded dog, Lorag felt quite far out of his element. "Uhhhh..." He started, not quite sure what had happened, or where he could even begin to try to calm her down. "I, um, goin' to take a wild guess and say it didn't go well. So, um, what happened?"

---

Ahnasha put her arm around Fendros. "Well if you're okay with it, then I'm okay with it. I wish we could go relax, but all of this with Meesei...I doubt I'm even going to be able to sleep until we can do something for her. Hopefully Sabine has had some results just talking to her. I am sort of worried about having to steal the book. I'm sure I could get it out of her room quietly, but we would also have to make sure that Sabine's note has only her scent on it. Otherwise, it might clue Meesei in that we were also a part of it. Sabine might have to be the one to sneak in. I know she can go invisible, but that doesn't do anything against a life detection spell. Maybe we should go meet up with the others, see if anything has happened?" She suggested.

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine could barely even understand Lorag's speech at first. Her mind was so clouded by all that was happening that she didn't even think to process the words until about ten seconds had passed. The focus made her breathing begin to steady as she remained up against Lorag with her eyes shut. She was still too anxious to turn back.

After at least a minute, Sabine finally regained the faculties to try and speak through her snout. "She..." Sabine virtually sounded choked. "She...hit...me..."

---

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Fendros said. He gave Ahnasha's hand a quick squeeze before beginning to stand up. "Meesei seemed on the edge when she left. I am worried about how she might have reacted."

[EliteCommander]

It took a while for Sabine to collect herself enough to actually give a response, and even then, it took some effort for Lorag to be able to understand what she was saying. Particularly since he also had a hard time believing the words he thought he was hearing. "She what? She actually struck you? You!? By Hircine, what has gotten into that lizard?"

Lorag sighed. He assumed that he should allow Sabine to hug him for a while longer, but at the same time, it was clear this situation demanded action. If Meesei was far-gone enough to actually hit Sabine in anger, then they were probably on the edge of losing her altogether. "We...we need to do somethin' quick. That hardly even sounds like Meesei anymore. I should go talk to Saras, tell him everything. Do you, uh, need anything?"

[Muttonhawk]

Again, it took another long moment for Sabine to speak. "Should...tell...others...pack..." Her breathing began to speed up again for a moment. "...Scared..."

It was all Sabine could manage in her current form. Everything was flying by without her being able to keep track.

[EliteCommander]

Lorag pulled back from Sabine and started to move towards the door, but he stopped himself short of leaving. He looked at Sabine silently for a few moments with some uncertainty. He was not good at dealing with his own emotional issues. let alone anyone else's. But, at the same time, there was something in him that was hesitant to just leave Sabine in her current state.

"Say, um...are you goin' to be alright? I know you're afraid and everything, but you know, we've got a plan. Think you can...try to transform back or something? Need anything to help calm down?" Lorag asked.

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine curled up on the ground and hugged her legs in her arms when Lorag backed off. In that moment, she did not know how to answer him. Every thought of regulation techniques that she was taught were blanked out behind the turmoil. The only place her mind went naturally was to get a warm hug from Meesei but now that thought just made her feel worse.

"I want to..." Sabine stopped to whine and bury her eyes in her knees. "Do not...know...do not...know...hurts..."

From the moment Lorag had let go, Sabine's emotional state was getting progressively worse.

[EliteCommander]

Lorag knelt down on one knee in front of Sabine. He started to reach out to touch her, but hesitated. He had no idea what would be the best way to comfort someone so distraught that she had unintentionally transformed. Part of him worried about losing a hand, while another part of him worried about somehow making it worse.

"Look, uh, whatever happened in there with Alpha, it don't sound like it was really her. Like it was really Meesei. That Daedra, Mora or whatever, he's done something to her. Poisoned her mind. Tempted her with fancy spells and the like. We just need to get her away from him. Just try not to think of the person who hit you as your, uh, mother." Lorag said in a voice hinting at some nervousness of his own. Though, his anxiety was at the fact that he was being forced into a position to try to calm a distraught packmate.

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine's ear quirked when Lorag spoke again, but his words were not apparently calming. Sabine sat as she had been, softly whining, though at least she wasn't getting any worse now. Instead of responding with words, Sabine gathered up enough control in her mind to lift a hand and wrap her fingers slowly around Lorag's wrist. She held on tightly, not quite enough to hurt, but enough that Lorag could not walk away without dragging her along.

She tried her best from then on to claw back calm and control. It took several minutes of sitting still, holding Lorag's arm. After what felt like a long time, even if it was just seven or so minutes, Sabine began to transform back into a Breton in the same foetal position as she had been in. Her grip loosened, but she did not look up from her knees just yet.

A muffled voice squeaked from her. She tried hard not to sob, and failed a couple of times. "Could you get the others? I...I do not want to move. I am sorry."

[EliteCommander]

Lorag nodded. "Yeah, just rest. I'll get everybody back here." He answered before standing up and heading out of the room. He was almost as relieved that Sabine had calmed down as he was worried about Meesei.

It did not take long for Lorag to find the rest of the pack, as they had not strayed anywhere that he would not be able to find them after their last meeting. He gave each of them a brief explanation of what had happened with Sabine, with a few less details on the extent of how distraught she had been. He figured he did not want to embarrass her, though it did not take much for the others to see her despair as they came to Lorag's room. She had improved somewhat from when Lorag left, but there was no mistaking that she had been in tears.

As the last of the pack arrived, Ahnasha was sitting beside Sabine on the bed, lightly rubbing her back in an attempt to help console her. She had come to the conclusion that it would likely be best for Sabine to steal the book herself if she felt she was able in order to preserve consistency in the scent on her letter. However, if she was too emotionally compromised, then they could have to risk stealing it another way.

Lorag decided to speak up before the silence grew too awkward. "Guess we've got no choice but to steal that book. With all it's done to Alpha, I don't guess that any of this is gonna be easy. But it's the only chance Meesei's got. Ahnasha, you think you can take it out of her room?"

For the moment, Ahnasha delayed giving a direct answer. Instead, she focused on Sabine. "Maybe, but...Sabine, are you alright? Do you think you can help me with this?"

[Muttonhawk]

Fendros and Janius were both shocked to silence when they were told about what Meesei did. Never in their lives did they think that Meesei was capable of striking Sabine in anger. Whatever hint that they thought she had remaining of her past self was eradicated in their minds.

Sabine had stopped crying by the time the rest of the pack arrived. She still sat with her arms wrapped around her knees and her face red and miserable, but she still participated in their planning. "Yes." Sabine nodded with a glance at Ahnasha. "I will do anything."

[EliteCommander]

"Only if you think you're able." Ahnasha responded, unable to ignore Sabine's overall despondent demeanor. "If you still want to be the one taking the blame for stealing the book, we will need to replace the book with a note that you have written. I am confident that I can sneak in and steal it, but if I am the one to do it, then there is a chance that Meesei will catch my scent on the letter as well as yours. If that happens and she discovers it, then she may turn her blame to myself, and even the rest of the pack as well."

Ahnasha was not thrilled about the prospect of asking Sabine to do anything as delicate as sneaking into Meesei's room, but that would likely be less risky than trying to remove all traces of Ahnasha's scent from the letter. "If you are able to sneak in and steal the book yourself, then only your scent will be on the letter. Do you think you would be able to accomplish that without being detected?"

[Muttonhawk]

Sabine breathed deeply, looking ahead and thinking. Shen then quickly nodded her head a few times. "Yes, I understand. I think I can do it," she said. "I do not want to give a reason for Meesei to turn on anyone else."

Fendros asked a question before they could continue. "Sabine, just before you mentioned that Meesei thought we got you to confront her, do you think she might suspect that we have done the same this time."

While her eyes flicked up to Fendros for a fleeting moment, Sabine did not change her expression. "I am not certain. I will absolve everyone in my letter. I will make it as clear as I can. But...if she did not listen to me before, she may not regard the letter either." She hesitated. "Perhaps you had...better stick together when she wakes up. She will not be happy."