Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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@MiddleEarthRoze Working on another post for another RP, when I get that post up, I'll start working on my post for here.

@POOHEAD189 Thanks for including Brona in your post! I will include a response from her in my upcoming post.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
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@MacabreFoxNo worries, I know how schedules can be frustrating all too well. It's what friends are for :)
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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@MiddleEarthRoze Small post. I promise that in the next round of posts I'll have something more with substance!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@MiddleEarthRoze I saw that but I was unsure because of how it was worded.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
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@RokkuHoshi

Ah, my mistake. I wonder if my wording is confused or misdirecting in some places. Sorry you got confused!

@MacabreFox

Don't worry about it bud, it's great! Hope you enjoyed your trip, by the way. :
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MacabreFox
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@RokkuHoshi

Ah, my mistake. I wonder if my wording is confused or misdirecting in some places. Sorry you got confused!

@MacabreFox

Don't worry about it bud, it's great! Hope you enjoyed your trip, by the way. :


I did ^.^ my favorite part was probably the tiny desserts they served us during the formal dinner. Plus my boyfriend and I were recognized for our promotions in the company.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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MY CHARACTER IS FINALLY COMPLETE!

Character Name:
Jan-Hei


Age:
25


Race:
Argonian


Sex:
Male


Birthsign:
The Tower






Specialisation:
Stealth


Class:
Hunter


Skills:

  • Expert Hunting
  • Journeyman One-Hand Blades
  • Journeyman Marksman
  • Apprentice Sneak
  • Apprentice Security
  • Apprentice Speechcraft
  • Novice Hand to Hand
  • Novice Light Armor
  • Novice Athletics
  • Novice Acrobatics
  • Novice Alchemy
  • Novice Smithing






Appearance:
Jan-Hei stands just under six feet tall at 71 inches with a slim but muscular build. The "crown" of spikes coming from his head add another 3 inches to his height. His scales are a dark red, but brighten up around his face. His claws are sharp but just barely shorter then the average Argonian. His tail is long enough that if he were to lay it flat, it extends an inch past his feet. He has golen colored eyes and a trio of dark blue feathers stick out of the top of his head.

Jan-Hei is normally in his leather armor that he had dyed various dark shades of red, green and blue. He can sometimes be caught wearing fine clothes made of a dark blue silk. When caught in the wilds, he is almost always covered, at least partially, by the blood of wolves and bandits.


Personality:
Jan-Hei is a kind soul towards innocents. He loves children and can sometimes be seen running through the streets with them playing games. Around adults, he can come off as distant or shy. He loves travelling and can often be found on the road. During his travels, he prefers to keep to himself, but often has to defend himself from the wild beasts that prowl. With Riften being the town he grew up in, and his father being a highly respected noble, he grew up being a close friend of the young Jarl-to-be.

In battle, Jan-Hei is a completely different being. He becomes cold a calculating, though not heartless. If he feels an ally needs his help and they have not stated to anyone to stay out of it, he will often jump to their aide. He doesn't take kindly to threats, boften lashing out. It's worse when his friends are threatened. Overall, it's not hard to become his friend if you make the effort, but you don't want to get on his bad side.


Backstory:
Jan-Hei had been born beside the most northern Hist Tree. They stayed there for 5 years to teach their child the ways of an Argonian lifestyle. With his connection to the Hist Tree secured, his parents traveled north, ending up in Riften, his father securing a job as an alchemist's apprentice. His father soon became highly respected when he advised the Jarl on a conversation he'd overheard between the woman and a redgaurd visiter. He'd heard about the Alik'r and had never trusted them. The Jarl took his advice and refused the redguards to search the hold for someone. Since then, the Jarl began to ask his opinions on many small problems, slowly allowing bigger issues. Eventually, he became the Jarl's personal advisor.

Jan-Hei grew up in Riften, near the southern border of Skyrim. He quickly became friends with the other chidren, some of which lived in Honorhall Orphanage. He was always friendly but usually very quiet when it came to new people. He grew up rich and humble, though often disagreed with his father about being paid by the Jarl to be his adviser. He didn't understand the need for money. With the Jarl's son, Jan-Hei trained in the basics of swords, proving to be most proficient with dual-wielding. With that and his father, as well as the local alchemist, he learned enough about alchemy to create quite a few low level potions.

When he was old enough, he told his father he wanted to travel to the other holds, but refused his father's offer to pay for a bodyguard or a wagon to carry him. His travel took him all across Skyrim, and spanned over 3 and a half years. When he returned, he was changed. He understood the greed and violence that most people came with when money was involved. He told his father he wanted to join the guards. While he was slow to rise through the ranks, despite his high skills in battle and strategy, he was shot up to be the new Jarl's personal bodyguard when the previous Jarl and his own father had been slain by a hidden assassin. Years passed with nothing new.

Jan-Hei heard news from his mother's brother that he was moving to Kvatch in Cyrodiil. With his mother unable to travel, Jan-Hei took it upon himself to visit his uncle with a gift from his mom. He told the Jarl of the intended travel and was granted permission in the time of peace. However, he was supposed to head straight back upon giving his uncle the gift.

He traveled south, hunting and fishing along the way for his food, keeping some of the pelts to turn into leather. He had always been looking for more opportunities to learn more about smithing. The travel lasted a while, much longer than he expected. By the time he arrived, Kvatch was no more. He saw a strange gate and many dead monsters. Wondering what in Oblivion had happened, he began searching for survivors, clues as to what happened, and a local smithery. It didn't take too long for him to catch a trail of multiple people. Thinking of the possible survivors, he began following them quickly, hoping to catch up to them soon.


Spells:
None


Inventory:
2 Steel Swords
Hunting Bow
30 Iron Arrows
Dyed Leather Armor (worn)
3 Deer Hide
4 Wolf Pelt
Snowberries
Juniper Berries
5 Wheat
5 Blisterwart
Journal
Quill and Ink
5 Minor Healing Potion
2 Minor Stamina Potion
2 Canteen Water
Wool Blanket and Pillow
Travel Pack
Woodcutter's Ax
Pickaxe
Iron Dagger
Mortar and Pestle
500 Septims
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
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@MiddleEarthRoze Small post. I promise that in the next round of posts I'll have something more with substance!

That's ok. I might reply soon regardless (or wait for others. Depends on my schedule). Also, glad you had fun!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
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Great start, glad to see him finished! There are just a few tweaks needed, especially some clarification in his backstory.

First off, from all we have seen of Argonians, they don't have surnames, just forenames. They tend to be named for their experiences - or hopeful experiences - in the world, as opposed to being named after their mother or father. So, his last name needs to be omitted.

Specialisation is in regards to what bracket his style of fighting falls under; so Magic, Combat or Stealth - or a combination of more than one if their skills echo that. From what I can gather of your Class you've listed him as a Fighter/Thief - except he has no mention of thievery in his skills or his backstory, so unless THF stands for something else, it'll have to be omitted. Also, the Class name can be made up or taken from this List of Pre-Made Classes from the game, or you can make up your own. You can just stick with Fighter, if you'd like.

For his skills, if you're happy with him having only what he has now, that's fine with me - but he's allowed several more than that. Also, your skills of "One-Handed" and "Blade" will go together as one skill as "One-Handed Blade." I've not explained it very well in the OP so it will be re-worded, you're not the first to be confused by that, so I do apologise. This will mean he's only been trained in the use of One-Handed Blades; which is a very different style of fighting to One-Handed Blunt, or Two-Handed Blades; hence why they are separate categories. Let me know if you're still confused by it; again, it needs re-wording.

There's a good start on his appearance, but it could use a little more detail. Perhaps point out eye colour, scarring, build, etc? Also, his personality needs a lot more detail. There needs to be a least 2 paragraphs, and what is there isn't particularly in depth. Maybe describe how he reacts in different situations; in battle, being threatened, how easily he is to like or dislike someone - stuff like that. All I've got from his personality is that he likes to travel alone, is shy among adults, and likes to play with children because he's kind to the innocent. Gonna need more depth in there; including flaws.

Backstory:

  • Why did his parents leave Black Marsh with a newly-hatched child? And why did they go all the way up to Skyrim, a place notorious for being filled with xenophobic Nords? I doubt they would have travelled that far with a Hatchling without a plan?
  • What advice could his father give to the Jarl to be so good and impressive that he received a job right there and then? What was the conversation between the woman and the Redguard even about? Even if it were simply him tipping the Jarl off about an assassination or something, I doubt the Jarl would then give this strange Argonian a job as his personal adviser.
  • How did Jan-Hei - as a young, untrained and unequipped Argonian - survive a 3 and a half year trip around Skyrim, a place know for it's inhospitable climate, fauna, and people?
  • What changed him when he got back?
  • He'd have to be a pretty good fighter to become the Jarl's personal bodyguard what with being such a young and new recruit in the town guard; but you've made no mention of his training or capability in a fight? There's also no mention of where he learned alchemy - a skill which one realistically couldn't have learnt themselves unless they used a lot of trial and error in consuming ingredients and risking illness/poison.
  • *"If too many were sent to the Emporer asking for aide, it would seem suspicious"* Why would it be suspicious? Also, the Emperor is dead at this point, the Jarls and the High King would know this.
  • There is a big issue with Jan-Hei's timing. Gates outside of Kvatch only started opening once the Kvatch one was closed. Between the closing of Kvatch and then opening of others, to news getting to everyone in Skyrim about Whiterun's gate, to then holding a Moot about the issue and deciding what to do, to then sending Jan-Hei alone to Kvatch, easily 3 months will have passed. There'll be no sign of the group or Daedra in Kvatch by the time he'd arrive, and you would have to wait way too long to start writing in the IC. You'll have to arrange a way for Jan-Hei to be at - or nearby - Kvatch at the time of the gate closing. Maybe he was in the city and got out in time, and is waiting down at the forward camp. Or, he saw the commotion from afar, and went to investigate to give help/curiosity, etc.


For his inventory, you may want to include money and a pestle and mortar - there's no point having the ingredients if you can't grind them into a potion. Also, why is he carrying around a bunch of heavy pelts and hide? It seems a pointlessly cumbersome thing to have; so does the pickaxe, at that. Does he have any experience in mining for it?

That's all I have to say, but I'm loving the start of it. As long as you can explain it, I love the idea of Argonian nomads beating the odds and getting a prestigious career in Skyrim, of all places. Just follow up with what I've said and let us take another look when you're done. @Leos Klien - if you have anything to add, here be the tag. And [@Rokku Hoshi] if you'd like to contest some of the points I've made or need something explaining, feel free to ask here or send me a PM if you like.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@MiddleEarthRoze Everything you said makes sense. I shall add to him more later. I am currently waiting for my fiancee to return with food.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@MiddleEarthRoze I edited everything except his skills and backstory. I'm unsure how many skills of each level he's allowed to have. His backstory will just have to wait until I'm not falling asleep.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by MiddleEarthRoze
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@RokkuHoshi
Master Skill Levels are only permitted if your character is abov ethe age of 40 - therefore, Jan-Hei is not eligible for a Master Level.

Expert Level Skills: You can have One; alternatively, you cna have 2, but must give up both of your Journeyman Skills.
Journeyman: 2 Skills
Apprentice: 3 Skills
Novice: 4 Skills

In addition to these your character is allowed 2 additional skills under the "Crafting and Miscellaneous" Category, providing they are of a Novice or Apprentice level (Unless higher levels are rationalised in the backstory; e.g is an expert Smith as they have smithed all of their lives, etc). These additional skills are for the basics that many people would need in this world, such as foraging, smithing, first-aid, hunting, etc. They are optional, and you do not need them; these additional skills have simply been put in to not use up your slots for anything else. If you want more than 2 extra skill options, they will be allowed; they will just substitute one of your other skills from the other levels.

Additionally, the Specialisation section will be one of the following: Combat, Stealth, or Magic - your character's broadly defined preferences of fighting, not the specific manner in which they fight.

It'll be One-Handed Blades, not One-Handed Swords.

The pelts, hides, and Pickaxe are still in his inventory? Unless you're going to say why in his backstory (For the former 2, I think it would still be a bit pointless to be carrying them) they need to be removed. Also, 500 gold is a lot of change to be carrying on oneself. That's 500 solid metal coins; not only is it a strangely excessive amount of money to be carrying on oneself, it would weigh quite a bit too.

@Chasers115@BurningCold@LadyTabris@Leidenschaft

Check in, ladies and gents. I didn't tag anyone when I moved the post along, so here be the tagging now. :)
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Leidenschaft
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I AM HERE
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@Leidenschaft I still have to work on his backstory but I think he's good otherwise.
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@RokkuHoshiI mean, okay. I'm not exactly in a GM position, but thank you for telling me. Lol
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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@MiddleEarthRoze New post is coming along nicely I'd say, sorry for the absence. Life and stuff, but I'm back now!
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@MiddleEarthRoze
@Leidenschaft I still have to work on his backstory but I think he's good otherwise.


Mistaĝed another player.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by POOHEAD189
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Expect a small post tomorrow.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Rockin Strings
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@MiddleEarthRoze His backstory is incomplete but I'll work on it later.
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