[IC] Monsters Hotel

[Professor_Wyvern]

Kakutoku Sha embraced the mummified man in a warm hug, as the two ladies behind him watched. He paused for a moment as he shook his head, "Nah, nah, watcha talkin' 'bout wit that Thebes? Shieeeet my nog, if ya think I'm from Thebes ya wrong." He shook his head before chuckling as his belly jiggled with continued merriment. "As for Priest, yea. Sweet Daddy K is a Miracle Worker aftah all." He said as he grinned and bared his fangs. "Dey don't call jus' any man a Miracle Worker."

He waggled one of his fingers at Djedkare, as he gave a simple tap of his cane. "I can tell ya been 'roun' da bloc a few times. Folk ain't like bein' called savage no more." Sweet Daddy K gave a simple shrug and a laugh. "Ways nevah die truly. As for the Mediterraneans, my relations are as fine as the sweet nectar of Cognac. Those bronzed women, oh yes, they are good people. Sweet Daddy K can dig'em. But let me hear 'bout yaself, 'fore I keep yappin' and gabbin'. How go ya relations? Anythin' interestan ya'd wanna share?"

@Earnest Evans

[Horrid]

<snip>

@MonsieurShade

Al pushed his bottom lip up against his top in such a way that pushed it out, and exhaled through his nose in a defeated fashion as he crumpled the letter up and put it in his still sopping wet jacket pocket. He returned the small nod from Cain with a large, ponderous nod of his own, looking quite like a horse or a donkey moving its head up and down. What was there to do but follow the instructions of the 'Lord' of the area? He had been dealing with lords and ladies and kings and queens and regents and dukes and duchesses and earls and counts and countesses of all sorts for the many, many years that he had been alive. He knew how these types were, cross them or fail to dance to the tune that matched their fancy, and they were extremely liable to make everything an uphill battle on a river without a paddle.

Cain's question hit him slightly harder than he expected a question to, as he was reminded about his farm and how much he missed it. He hoped the hands and the animals were alright. 'Wait, of course they are alright,' he reminded himself. 'Augeas didn't fame them for their wonderful coats, after all.' Alcaeus took a slow breath in and shook his head, looking over at Cain with a knowing stare. With a smile, he spoke frankly. "Well there buddy, when you've lived quite as long as I have, the slowly shifting form of Mother Gaia becomes one of the most beautiful things a man can ever experience. All over the world is weird and wonderful, from the snow-dusted plains of Moesia to the shifting sands of Aegyptus. Maybe you should come down to the farm when all this is over. Might even let you milk a cow or muck out the stables. Was there anything specific you wanted to know?"

[Earnest Evans]

Djedkare shrugged sheepishly, as he rubbed the back of his head.
"I must apologize, my friend. I suppose the people of the lower Nile had connected with the Thebans in my absence. Still, I am glad that our culture's ritual garb has survived the ages. All truths be told, I have not kept up to date with what has passed since I was inhumed. I must say that I am surprised at your name. It was always the realm of you priests to pick a magnanimous title, but 'Sweet Daddy K' is a bit foreign, don't you think? Bah, it's no matter... just the ramblings of an old man."

Djedkare noticed the buxom babes behind the bulbous tanuki, and chidingly waggled his finger at Kakutoku.
"It seems the passage of time has evaded you, as well! Your assistants have dressed themselves in the garb befitting the festival of the sacred tree of Iunu, but it is far too late for that! Woah-ho-ho-ho, how pleasant those memories were! Seeing you and your clerics has raised my spirits, my friend. Please, meet me in my room later. I have, hmm... I would have words with you, that I would prefer not to be overheard by the young boy over there." Djedkare subtly motioned towards Jack, and winked conspiratorially.

"Tell me, my friend, what city do you pledge your allegiance to? From your... hair... I would have guessed you are of Asyuti stock. Such a strong people! I am glad at least one of them saw fit to educate themselves for once in their lives! Oh ho-ho-ho-ho!"

@Professor_Wyvern

[Professor_Wyvern]

Katuku Sha simply waved his freehand at Djedkare as he began apologizing. "Shoot ain't no thang but a chicken wang." The Tanuki smiled as he flourished out his pimp cape. "Gennnuuuu-ine leopard fur. Can't go wrong." He paused for a moment as he began chuckling once more.

"Ah, while the title may soun' foreign, let me assure ya it gets the point and message 'cross." He spread his arms out wide and back towards his buxom ladies. Pointing the cane forward he smirked. "Lemme tell ya, goin' wit' the foreign ways let's ya nab more ayu if ya get mah drift." He gave a single flick of the tongue and another smirk. "Gotta tend to the herd, Priest gotta make sure they'll listen. An' if they are more willin' fo' a bit of foreign garb, I'll wear it."

As the mummy pointed out the attire of his beautiful assistants he gave a laugh. "Ah yea' time is a trickeh thang. Oh they love when Sweet Daddy K take'em outta festivals." He gave another smile. "Raisin' spirits is my business. An lemme tell ya, business is goooooooooood. Course, gotta take a lil Vaa-kay." His eyes darted towards what Djedkare motioned at. He gave a single nod, "Sheeeit, jus' lay ya numbah on me an' we'll keep on gabbin'."

"My 'legiance eh? Well Sweet Daddy K has a sweet spot fo Gakushima. Course I use the newah name, mo hip ta the kids y'know. Gotta gatha more helpers. So what broughtcha 'ere?"

@Earnest Evans

[Earnest Evans]

Djedkare leaned in and whispered conspiratorially.

"Room 212. Meet me in a quarter-hour. Bring no-one but your clerics."

Quickly, Djedkare returned to enthusiastically standing up straight, speaking a good bit louder.
"What place is Gakushima from, friend? It doesn't sound like it belongs to any of the lands I've been to! Oh, there's just so much I've missed, in my millennia-long waking slumber! You, my friend, will need to educate me about the current state of the great Dynasty! Say, what iteration is it at? Couldn't be any more than Eighth, Ninth, you know?"

@Professor_Wyvern

[Professor_Wyvern]

The tanuki leaned in as he gave a single nod. "Quatah-houah. Aight then. Only me 'n tha ladies." He cocked his head back to the buxom beauty on the left side of him. She messed with a few buttons on a wrist-watch, as Sweet Daddy K focused his attention back on Djedkare.

He bared his fangs in a joyful grin. Taking his staff he opened up his mouth as he used his free-hand to pulled off the top from the gilded sake bottle. He poured a bit of the sake in his maws, lapping it up with his tongue. After that action he returned the top back into position with a hefty shove. "Ah Gakushima. Now called the Yoshinogawa, 'long wit otha cribs. In the Tokushima Prefecture, in Nihon-koku." He leaned in close as he spoke, "Pleny o' dawgs call it Japan."

Sweet Daddy K stretched out his arms once more as he smirked, "Shieeeet ya millennia year ol'? Ah ya, Sweet Daddy K gotta catch ya up to the present. Missed whole lick o'thangs. If I'm on tha up an' up, think it's waaaaay past Eighth 'er Ninth." Kakutoku Sha shook his head as he glanced back to his ladies. "Pas' that don'tcha think?"

He shook his head as they glanced at each other before giving a nod to him. The tanuki glanced back at Djedkare, "Ah we'll make sure it's all crackalackin'."

@Earnest Evans

[Earnest Evans]

Djedkare nodded, but didn't understand a thing about what what this tanuki was saying.

"W-well, I suppose this Japan place is good enough, if it managed to create someone like you. I'll have to ask someone a bit more... educated about how the Dynasty is faring. Well, I hope you and your clerics get on well. I'll see you later, my good man!"

Djedkare gave Sweet Daddy K a fond handshake farewell, and moved on in the direction of the pool. The Dynasty must have fallen quite far to have given such BRUTES a role in the priesthood, he thought, Oh well... so long as they understand the holy rituals of their patrons, I won't deride them for their savagery. Djedkare eased himself into the lukewarm waters of the pool's hot tub, and relaxed.

[MonsieurShade]

As Alcaeus described to him the finer points of rural living, Cain sighed as he fondly remembered the camping trips he'd taken. Cain had always found himself thinking with every trip of how nice it would have been if his life could stay the way it was when he was there. Sadly, a combination of pampering through city life and his current condition meant that such a life was impossible, at least, if he wanted to retain what little of his humanity remained. The wendigo chuckled at Al's offer, though not in a condescending manner, "Sounds like it'd be a refreshing change of pace from sitting in a car shop all day. If you're up for another question, what drew you to that sort of life?".

[nerminator]

The skeletal bartender failed to respond to John Doe, John Doe just grabbed a couple of beers, binge drinking beer constantly since he really had nothing else to do Besides its not like its unhealthy?

it was actually quite tasty...and then a weird feeling in his head spun..it felt numb..and dumb...well...numb..and also...very dumb...and numb...and very dumb..well Numb and uhh....that other thing.

Now the world was blurry, John Doe felt funny and he decided to be funny!, John Doe gotten off of his bar stool and started searched the area for random things, Grabbing some 16 year old's Sword @Warlord297 , a couple bottle of beer, 3 bar stools, a chainsaw he happened to find on the ground, and a entire table,

John Doe struggled to carry them all and went to the bar counter, stepping his right foot onto it and using it to help himself get up, Staggering and drunk John Doe yelled out in a slurry voice Hello Good people of the hotel, today I shall show you the magnificent power of the arcane magic!

Arcane magic didn't exist, John Doe just yelled it out just because it sounds cool.

he then grabbed the chainsaw, balancing the other things on his head as he started the chainsaw, causing a loud VRRM that startled everyone in the room, causing crowds to leave in fear, Stay just because they don't know what to do, and making bets, But for sure, everyone that was still there was hiding under a table just so they can have a sliver of protection

John Doe then thrown all of the things in the air, throwing the chainsaw that is on in a arc, grabbing all of the things that fall and propel them into the air again, Juggling them all, first he was staggering, failing and people were beginning to leave,

and then with a surge in power John Doe Excells in juggling them, increasing in speed and soon nobody can even see the objects except for a tiny blur of things going up and down in a circle, the crowd was getting amazed..truth is,

John Doe was a amazing juggler when he was drunk, but a absolutely crappy one when sober

[clanjos]

A hyena swam around in the hot tub, turning up its nose at the mummy before paddling over to the bench.

"Man, no matter HOW much water you pump into your dessicated hide it won't be appetizing."

[Warlord297]

-jack keeps reading-

[nerminator]

John Doe

John Doe Continued to do this for a while, except he reached out and grabbed one of the beer bottles and broke off the top, drinking it with his weird tongue which looked like a mini verison of his big head, gulping down the booze in mere seconds, and then throwing it away into a recycling bin that was coincidentally in the bar

He grabbed another, and another and somehow kept on juggling the Chainsaw, Table, bar stools and that kids sword at the same time,

he then finished his act up, throwing the table back at its original spot safefully, putting the bar stools down, throwing the chainsaw into the next universe or wherever the heck is it came from and finally, he grabbed the sword, jumped forward straight through the air and aiming the sword at the kid who was now ignoring pretty much everything and reading harry potter or some crap, Even though the big creature had juggled a goddamn chainsaw and stolen his sword

Hey catch! John Doe yells as he throws the sword blade first at the 16-year-old edgy angel kid, as John Doe landed gracefully onto a table feet first, breaking through the table.

[akje]

((Music))

Like sat in the middle of his room and looked like no one.
His room looked like nowhere. He was his room and for now that was nothing.
Except for a door, the one he had come in through after he and lady Avalai had wished each other good night.
And a mirror, through which he could see the lush wilds of his home.

For now he was alone. Alone with his thoughts.
Like reflected on the new personalities he had learned.
Through the mirror he looked at the hotel from every angle, through the reflections in glass, water, even John's shiny face.
Like played the idea with looking for reflective surfaces in the room next to him, but decided against it.
Mostly because it's rude to peek, but also because he felt like somehow she'd know.

The many reflective surfaces at the bar gave Like a nice view of most guests.
He saw the ancient monarch had finally lost his steam and settled in the pool with a rugged looking guy.
He looked with delighted interest at and from the Tanuki's decked out bling.

@Warlord297
One reflection caught Like's attention as it turned and moved rapidly towards that kid from earlier.
As Like figured out it was the reflection on a sword, he whispered a few words.
The letters in the book Jack was reading faded away, then new words appeared on the page.
"Quickly turn to your left and block that sword!"

[Earnest Evans]

Djedkare grunted and turned to face the hyena. A talking animal, Djedkare thought. Hmm, if I recall my teachings right, it's either a god come to walk amongst Man once again, a monster pretending to be a god amongst Man, or a savage foreigner. Only one way to find out.

"Hmph, I suppose at least some of you mongrels are direct in your degeneracy. Tell me, bone-eater, how do you feel about... humans? Do you like them, or no? How would you best deal with a human asking you to, say... do them a favor?"

[Warlord297]

-as i kept reading i put the book away and begin studying over ancient creature of all realms-

[akje]

Shutting a book someone is illusionarilly writing in is like slamming a door in their face.
Rude.
Thus Like moved his attention elsewhere.
There was a mirror in the stables, well there wasn't, there was a large copper bell and this gave Like a somewhat bent image, but an image none the less.

Like saw Lord De Gravee inspect his horses. And boy were they impressive horses.
Now, I'm no fan, expert or in any way credible source on horses. But damned. Literally!
Standing 8 feet tall and black as night. I mean black to an extent it draws away the color from its surroundings.
Manes and tail composed of silver colored fire that flickered violently.
Hooves of mithril, fangs of obsidian and eyes that reflected the circles of their hellfire home.
These where no mere horses. As terrifying as the unicorn is rare, and just as majestic.

Nightmares!

Like animated the lords shadow and stepped out from behind him, his shape flickering from the light of silver mane fire.
"I see you are planning a hunt."
De Gravee nodded sternly without flinching or looking up.
"It's not public knowledge is it?"
De Gravee shook his head minimally in response while he judgingly peered at a terrified ghost servant who carefully attempted to put an expensive looking leather saddle on the beast, who in turn also peered at the ghost in frighteningly similar way. As if also judging.
"Because of Snazzy?"
...
"No matter how well you hide it, the moment people start dying he'll know."
The Lord looked his shadow in the eyes and finally spoke.
"Then distract him while we're gone. And try to do it in a way that keeps the guests entertained."
"Sounds like something I can do." If shadows could smile he would.

[nerminator]

John Doe

All of a suddenly John Doe hears that same annoying voice in his head Dude..Jack is outside right next to the pool. How the heck did you take his sword much less throw it at him? he heard, and realized that he never actually had a sword. it was all in his imaginationnnn. Buzzkill.

Unfortunately getting drunk and messing up everything wasn't in his imagination, the whole bar was somehow tidy though, with everything in the exact same place, the only difference is that 70% of everyone left and the people who are still there are cowering under tables in order to not get hurt

Wait..where did the chainsaw go? John Doe thought, it probably didn't matter. So John Doe thought that he might take a tiny walk to walk off all of the booze he just drunk.

He walked pretty much around everywhere, fortunately the best thing about being a alien is that you become sober as quick as a flying-.....something that's fast.

and then he walked into a abomination of a horse, just close enough to hear "I see you are planning a hunt" and hopped to the ceiling while everyone was distracted, hiding and listening on a beam

he listened to the two, they were planning something..something bad they were going to go kill a whole lotta people and of course, only John Knew.

[clanjos]

@Earnest Evans

"Humans? They're alright. 'cept Ethiopians. Fucking Ethiopians. Favors? Iunno. Are they paying? They just asking me to do this out of the goodness of my heart? Because doing things out of the goodness of your heart, that gets your ass shot by a warlord."

[Professor_Wyvern]

Kakutoku Sha had swaggered on back to the hotel lobby. His twin buxom and scantily clad ladies followed the Sweet Daddy K. "Ya'll go'n check and find me a map." The one on the right swayed over to the desk as she ringed a bell.

Sweet Daddy K opened the top of the gilded bottle of sake once more and poured it into his gullet. During this time the lady on the left began checking her nails. "Mmm Sweet Daddy do my nails look chipped to you?" She inquired as she held out her left hand. The tanuki peered carefully at them as he shook his head. "Nah, nah gurl. Nails 're as pristine as Ikeda. Might wanna go get yaself notha manipedi, on Daddy's account of course. Cause ya wit the Sweet Daddy, ain't gonna make ya pay fer ya own nails."

[akje]

Like left his room, taking the devilish shape of his host he calmly strolled down the stairs and entered the lobby holding a rolled up poster under his arm.

In a way that made sure to draw as much attention to himself as possible he hung the poster on the wall in the lobby, then rung a large copper bell. The bell hadn't been there before, like copied it from the stables, but no one would notice. Probably.

"Everyone can I have your attention please!" His voice echoed loudly throughout the Hotel.
He grinned in a way only Lord De Gravee could.
"In light of almost all of our guests being nocturnal we have some festivities planned for tonight!"
He gestured at the poster, which showed a picture of a large pile of gift-wrapped boxes and the text

The Giftening.

"We'll have a large dance, with food and music from a surprise DJ! And many gifts!"
As he said the word Gifts he slapped the poster and immediately the pile of boxes came rolling out of the poster like a multicolored avalanche.
"There will also be a competition! You all get one coin of favor."
A small golden coin appeared in everyone's palm, it had a cartoon drawing off their own face on one end, and a picture of a present on the other.
"Award this to the person who gives you the best gift tonight! You can bring your own gifts. If you have nothing to give, my very good friend Like has provided a pile of wondrous treasures to give away." He gestured at the mountain of festive and mysterious packages next to him.
"Who-ever has the most coins at the end of the night will win a special prize!"

And with that he disappeared in a theatrical poof of smoke.