GAME: Crush A Wish

[Lucian]

Maybe I did want to be questioned.

You get your second wish, but it must be for another wish after that one, and another after that, ad infinitum.

I wish I was a great artist

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. The pope kidnaps you and forces you to paint beautiful art in a citadel for the rest of your life on pain of endless torture in dungeons nobody knows of and will never know of.

I wish for a wish that cannot break doing something beneficial for me.

[Gutshot]

Granted. Your wish can never break this chain I just named "doing something beneficial for me".

I wish for a new world order founded by Steve jobs.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. Apple becomes the new Microsoft and create I10, with the approximate reliability of Windows 95 and the couple years behind features characteristic of Apple these days. But since the marketing is just like Windows 10 only with government machineguns available to them this time, nobody says no.

A new generation of shitty software is then forced down your throat, but who cares, because it's Steve Jobs and damn if he won't get his way.

I wish for Windows 10 to detonate on itself and cause Microsoft bankruptcy to result in a new Linux world order.

[Darth Squidius]

Granted, but you're murdered. Straight up.

I wish bad things would only happen to good people.

[Lucian]

Granted. No way to twist that to more of a negative, really.

I wish nobody could run away from an argument with me again.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. Their ears bleed out from the very sound of your voice, and so they can no longer hear the arguments being spoken. Their eyes slowly decompose, and they become no longer able to visualize anything you're trying to tell them. Eventually, everyone dies by melting into puddles, and you will no longer have people to listen to your arguments again.

I wish for a completely sane, inconspicuous and professional bodyguard.

[Lucian]

Granted, you get sniped from a clocktower and there's nothing they could have done.

I wish to rule the world

[Witch Cat]

Granted, it's obliterated now.

I wish for fancy feast.

[Lady Selune]

Granted, it tastes awful.

I'd like more guild members to be active 0_o.

[Darth Squidius]

Granted. However, they all ignore you instinctively.

I wish I was Mary Poppins.

[Gutshot]

Granted. You fly off into the atmosphere due to your magical umbrella, with not even a spoon full of sugar being able to save you.

I wish for 2017 to foster the best memes.

[JaceBeleren]

Granted. They're all about you, and you can't go outside without people laughing under their breath.

I wish "rpg character female" on google images/pinterest/whatever else didn't turn up results like

this

[ArenaSnow]

Granted.

Revised Algorithm

I wish for a better targeting system.

[Gutshot]

Granted. People can target you better now.

I wish I could paint or draw Renaissance style.

[Witch Cat]

Granted, but everyone can now draw better than you now and your art looks like childish scribbles to everyone

I wish for a drawing tablet

[Baklava]

Granted. But everything you draw has to be done one pixel at a time while fully zoomed in.

I wish I could change my hair color like a video game.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted. A bug, also like a video game, is placed in your hair. You made no request for a developer, and so the bug festered until your hair crashed and caused everyone who saw you to have a heart attack aka "BSOD".

I wish YOU to log out immediately before making a post anywhere on the guild, including this thread.

_{Lets see how you pull through that one, eh...}

[Baklava]

Granted. But all I had to do was log back in after doing that and THEN post. A waste of a wish, really.

I wish people would make better wishes.

[ArenaSnow]

Granted.

I wish for Baklava to be boiled in a massive pot of melting ice and boiling soup for a total of 3000 seconds to consider her sins.