@Cuccoruler: Let's not go there. Really, let's not.
PKMNB0Y
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Archer Inferno
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Most Recent Posts
@Kuroyomihime: Didn't realize you wanted feedback; thought you wanted to finish before review. Let's see...
Tune down wind power a bit; supernatural abilities shouldn't be that potent for a relatively young youkai, especially if they're enough to destabilize people to the point where they're falling down.
Also dualblading. It's... A tricky thing to handle, but maybe tune proficiency levels down a bit, too.
I think that's my only qualm rn. It should be fine if it's tuned down and scales to bigger levels later in the RP, though.
@Cuccoruler: Stick to having the character use his own stuff for his own shenanigans. You shouldn't need to drag the weapon from elsewhere if its sheath it your own body... And given how it's condition is 'head must be removed', I think that just existing as such would be better.
I don't think carrying a butcher knife everywhere is the best of ideas, though...
Edit: Right, dullahans are Irish, so... Should prob edit history to at least have heritage start there.
Tune down wind power a bit; supernatural abilities shouldn't be that potent for a relatively young youkai, especially if they're enough to destabilize people to the point where they're falling down.
Also dualblading. It's... A tricky thing to handle, but maybe tune proficiency levels down a bit, too.
I think that's my only qualm rn. It should be fine if it's tuned down and scales to bigger levels later in the RP, though.
@Cuccoruler: Stick to having the character use his own stuff for his own shenanigans. You shouldn't need to drag the weapon from elsewhere if its sheath it your own body... And given how it's condition is 'head must be removed', I think that just existing as such would be better.
I don't think carrying a butcher knife everywhere is the best of ideas, though...
Edit: Right, dullahans are Irish, so... Should prob edit history to at least have heritage start there.
@Kidd: Should be good to go now. Accepted.
@Polaris North: I see no issues here. Accepted.
That being said, I need to figure out the best way to open this RP. There are so many ways to lead into things...
@Polaris North: I see no issues here. Accepted.
That being said, I need to figure out the best way to open this RP. There are so many ways to lead into things...
@GreenGoat: You said 'dishonest people' twice, friend. Other than that, I think they're good to go. Accepted.
@blumenk: No generic undead (skeletons, zombies, etc;) but things that might be more appropriate disguising into human culture are options, changeling would need adequate explanation as to why Japan (unless they're a foreigner or smth), same with sandman. Also, balancing sleep gets really weird relative to RPs, so I'd definitely stay away from that last one.
@blumenk: No generic undead (skeletons, zombies, etc;) but things that might be more appropriate disguising into human culture are options, changeling would need adequate explanation as to why Japan (unless they're a foreigner or smth), same with sandman. Also, balancing sleep gets really weird relative to RPs, so I'd definitely stay away from that last one.
@blumenk: No ghosts. Too many problems.
@GreenGoat: May I ask what the 'job' in question is? I think that's all the clarification I need on that end.
@Hammerman: Hoo boy, where to begin...?
Age. Why are we getting younger? This RP is going to get dangerous and possibly darker in tone at times, so a 12 year old... Might not be the best choice for a character. Especially one whose existence is effectively cute mascot character with a child's mindset. Like, I let 14 slide because it's about that time where you start getting accustomed to the realities of life, but still.
Next. Wolfkin. That term really isn't fitting within the cultural context of the RP. At all. There are youkai that exist as a basis. There are non-Japanese mythical creatures that also work. But 'wolfkin' when the name is supposed to be Japanese in origin? Nah.
You can condense the first and second in abilities into 'heightened senses', though honestly as a prepubescent child those abilities should be nowhere near as developed as that of a dog whose job it is to hunt down things via smell or sound alone.
3 feels... Kinda out of place. Feels like something that'd be redundant to teach when trying to blend in with humans, which leads me to...
4. Would it not be simpler to write 'increased speed' and 'increased strength' or something along those lines? I did say relative strength should be close to one another, so.
Next... idk why, but I wanted to say that adorable is subjective. It's also not an adjective that describes personality.
's all for now. I think.
@GreenGoat: May I ask what the 'job' in question is? I think that's all the clarification I need on that end.
@Hammerman: Hoo boy, where to begin...?
Age. Why are we getting younger? This RP is going to get dangerous and possibly darker in tone at times, so a 12 year old... Might not be the best choice for a character. Especially one whose existence is effectively cute mascot character with a child's mindset. Like, I let 14 slide because it's about that time where you start getting accustomed to the realities of life, but still.
Next. Wolfkin. That term really isn't fitting within the cultural context of the RP. At all. There are youkai that exist as a basis. There are non-Japanese mythical creatures that also work. But 'wolfkin' when the name is supposed to be Japanese in origin? Nah.
You can condense the first and second in abilities into 'heightened senses', though honestly as a prepubescent child those abilities should be nowhere near as developed as that of a dog whose job it is to hunt down things via smell or sound alone.
3 feels... Kinda out of place. Feels like something that'd be redundant to teach when trying to blend in with humans, which leads me to...
4. Would it not be simpler to write 'increased speed' and 'increased strength' or something along those lines? I did say relative strength should be close to one another, so.
Next... idk why, but I wanted to say that adorable is subjective. It's also not an adjective that describes personality.
's all for now. I think.
@Polaris North: Answer remains yes.
@Kuroyomihime: Yeah, we've got room.
Name: Amazawa Ren
Age: 20
Race: Human
Appearance: "Can't you go any faster...?"
Abilities: Zilch. He's just an average college student. If it counts for anything, he reads a lot and reads fast, and is quick to notice and react to things at the drop of a hat. Ren can also memorize things relatively quickly, though he often sticks by what he knows best.
Equipment: Clothes. A phone. Earbuds. A backpack with books and a laptop. The usual.
Personality: Ren's slightly impatient when it comes to doing things, whether that means going somewhere early to meet a friend or handling problems before they become problems (or, occasionally, doing things too quickly and making mistakes he could've overlooked in the process). Though he has long since tempered it down from what it used to be, remnants of that impatience do remain. Though he's not the most physically adept person, he's also not willing to back down if push comes to shove--if necessary, he'll stand his ground (or, rather, dart around) until the job is done. Unlike what this somewhat hotheaded behavior would imply, Ren is smart enough to exploit whatever weaknesses he can or call out friends for their own shortcomings. He's kind of blunt about it on occasion, though, which may grate some peoples' nerves.
History: Ren grew up in the suburbs of the city, living a relatively stable life with his parents and grandparents. His early childhood was spent with him buried in books, mainly because of a broken leg following an accident with a speeding bicycle. Once he began to read, he didn't stop--though he did exercise and whatnot whenever necessary, for the most part his time was spent either doing that, listening to music, or playing games. Sliding through high school and into college without much fanfare, Ren's life is probably just another one out of the many who live within the city.
Other: Is good at fighting games, rhythm games, and action games (mainly those with good stories, but he can live without).
Age: 20
Race: Human
Appearance: "Can't you go any faster...?"
Abilities: Zilch. He's just an average college student. If it counts for anything, he reads a lot and reads fast, and is quick to notice and react to things at the drop of a hat. Ren can also memorize things relatively quickly, though he often sticks by what he knows best.
Equipment: Clothes. A phone. Earbuds. A backpack with books and a laptop. The usual.
Personality: Ren's slightly impatient when it comes to doing things, whether that means going somewhere early to meet a friend or handling problems before they become problems (or, occasionally, doing things too quickly and making mistakes he could've overlooked in the process). Though he has long since tempered it down from what it used to be, remnants of that impatience do remain. Though he's not the most physically adept person, he's also not willing to back down if push comes to shove--if necessary, he'll stand his ground (or, rather, dart around) until the job is done. Unlike what this somewhat hotheaded behavior would imply, Ren is smart enough to exploit whatever weaknesses he can or call out friends for their own shortcomings. He's kind of blunt about it on occasion, though, which may grate some peoples' nerves.
History: Ren grew up in the suburbs of the city, living a relatively stable life with his parents and grandparents. His early childhood was spent with him buried in books, mainly because of a broken leg following an accident with a speeding bicycle. Once he began to read, he didn't stop--though he did exercise and whatnot whenever necessary, for the most part his time was spent either doing that, listening to music, or playing games. Sliding through high school and into college without much fanfare, Ren's life is probably just another one out of the many who live within the city.
Other: Is good at fighting games, rhythm games, and action games (mainly those with good stories, but he can live without).
@Kidd: Let's see...
Well, I actually kinda wanna say that given the story of the bakeneko in general, electricity shouldn't be a focus (if at all). The raijuu hanyou presented here now makes more sense in context of abilities, so I think electricity should be changed to something more... I dunno, in-line with what a bakeneko would be able to do? The shapeshifting is good, though, so more focus should be placed on that, I think.
@VitaVitaAR: Seems okay to me. Accepted.
Speaking of forms...
Edit: The answer to that question is yes.
Well, I actually kinda wanna say that given the story of the bakeneko in general, electricity shouldn't be a focus (if at all). The raijuu hanyou presented here now makes more sense in context of abilities, so I think electricity should be changed to something more... I dunno, in-line with what a bakeneko would be able to do? The shapeshifting is good, though, so more focus should be placed on that, I think.
@VitaVitaAR: Seems okay to me. Accepted.
Speaking of forms...
Edit: The answer to that question is yes.
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