As the doors of the elevator opened, a man wearing a white shirt and covering his face with a white fox mask appeared in Brian's sight, which seemed familiar to him, with the only thing confusing him being the mask. As the dark blonde haired man walked off the elevator, the other man took his mask off, to reveal a very familiar person - the Carth Monthas, the public face of the Monthas company and a son of Gregory Monthas, the CEO of the said company.
Brian stood a bit away from the elevator, enough to let other people go in and out of the lift, but also keeping Carth in his sight. Just after he finished adjusting his position, the other man walked towards the dark blonde haired man, talking that there is something to show and something to discuss, while effectively forcing the dark blonde haired man to join Carth as the said person claimed he can postpone a match, probably with the circular device he pulled out, "Alright. I am pleased to be able to talk with you." The dark blonde haired man smiled to Carth, trying to show his kindness. @Cultural Titan
Brian thought of landing a finishing blow on the last Judgement standing in the city with the small sword on the left hand and his mechanical frame acts just like his body, taking the poor mech's left arm off, causing the mech to explode into a large flame ball, which happens to not affect Brian's advanced mech. After making sure there are no enemy mechs remaining in the area, the pilot thought of pressing a big green button placed in front of him, which did not exist anywhere in his sight - not in the cockpit full of monitors, or the scenery from the monitors.
Suddenly, the monitors went black and the device attached to Brian's head came off, with a door opening as well. Brian stepped out from the cockpit which was attached to some machinery, but not a mechanical frame. The man proceeded to look at a mildly smiling person that is looking at a computer, with a mild frown on his face, "Hey, why is the simulator set to the lowest settings? Just about all the Judgements were literally running around the city and holding it's guns, not bothering me until it's too late! And seriously, why are they exploding? That wasn't a game or something!"
The computer man gave the pilot response without signs of kindness, "Well, I thought you wouldn't be able to defeat all the mechs unless they are basically walking targets. Don't blame me for this, blame yourself instead."
The pilot knew he was getting frustrated, so he took a deep breath and made up a smile, walking up to the computer man to give him a brief reply, "Well, looks like you were trying to let me win. However, if anything, I wanted to lose to an ace pilot rather than winning against walking targets. Could you mind that the next time?" The pilot proceeded to walk away from the computer guy, ending the conversation that might have went nowhere if continued.
"Why did the project manager assign someone with a grudge against me, as a person to overlook my training? That wasn't a good idea!" Brian said to himself as he walked down a corridor, trying to vent some steam where no one is looking at him, as to maintain his "nice person" image which he wanted to have. After some venting, the man proceeded to get into an elevator, going all the way into the ground floor, taking a glance at the arena turning into a domed one from a non-domed one, by using the still new non-physical shielding technology.
You are in. I am concerned however that overall the character was made with him being ordinary too close in mind, but that just means I'll have to do things to him over the course of the game. What kind of things you might be asking? You'll see. Eventually. #evillaugh #bitcheslovecannons
Welp, another under-thinking detected.. but I am happy with what would be happening. I have thought of some stuff that could happen, but no need to reveal it here I guess.
Nothing really changed on the personality side, but that wording makes me hate it a lot less.
"As he joined, his rivals dropped out one by one as hard infantry training went on" seems at first to suggest that his rivals left because he joined and then that it was because of his training.
I take it English isn't your first language? its not a problem, but it may affect how I judge things.
I changed that sentence's wording to make it hopefully simply suggest that it was the training and not Brian being a mary sue, and yes, it's not my first language.
I'll make sure to proof-check stuff rather than zipping past it and calling it a day, so stuff I write will hopefully be clearer.
You don't need to tell me where you got the picture. I can tell.
Is that to say that he was given infantry style training as part of his pilot training? If not there is no military really, just private security firms that act somewhere between cops and counter terrorists. This could really use some cleaning up.
Are their any common threads stringing the otherwise disparate parts of his personality together. As it is it just reads that he is quite different in three separate situations.
Is their anything to know about Brian other than his training with the suit?
Alright, tried to fix/change things you listed, but kept the google thing for sake of clarification and nothing else.
Character part done and added some clause to clarify some stuff and changed "blade" to "sword".
Name: Brian Archer
Age: 27
Gender: M
Appearance:
(Found by googling "man")
Gear: None unusual.
Abilities: Brian was given a modified infantry style training, one that does not take things like mechanical frames into consideration, as he joined the megacorp to as a pilot candidate of a mechanical frame controlled by thought. Aside from that, he practiced swordplay in his off-time in order to get some exercise.
Personality: Brian is mostly a friendly person both on and off times, usually showing a gentleman-alike attitude to his opponents before and after a fight. During the fight, however, he wouldn't hesitate to attack the opponent, but only to make the mech unable to continue fighting and not to physically harm anyone.
History: Brian was quite an average person when he was born, not standing out from anyone for some of the time, as he didn't have anything special to brag about. He tried to gain one by practicing swordplay, but that didn't become something special. However, his life changed when he found a recruitment for "a pilot candidate of an advanced mechanical frame", which oddly required no experience piloting the mechs. Although he was a bit wary of what would happen at first, his sheer interest in mechs inspired him to join anyway. He tried hard to keep up with the hard infantry training - something that wasn't expected out of a pilot recruitment. His rivals dropped out one by one as the training went on, while Brian was not in the list of drop-outters and remained until the training turned into actual training as a mech pilot. Brian was not a good pilot at beginning, but he strived hard to improve until he became a capable pilot, not capable of matching the aces but is better compared to the average. Surpassing all of the remaining rivals, he was among the first people to see the completed advanced prototype mech practically made for him.
Extras: None
Name: XMFF-21 "Snowstorm"
Appearance: The Snowstorm stands at around 20.5 feet, and armors resembling the Judgement, but with more straights. The armor is painted with a white/ice blue dazzle livery. The other notable deviation from the Judgement is that the head has a thick "horn" on it, which is an autocannon mounted on the head to use it as a turret.
Height: 6.2m
Weight: 26 tons
History and Development:
One of the ideas that came out of a brainstorming session at Monthas for the next generation mechanical frame was the Direct Neural Interface (DNI) system, a system to control the mech by thought. After some more discussions, the DNI was given a go, alongside with other ideas for a next-gen "standard" mech of Monthas. After some works done, the proposal turned into a design for a prototype mech, which would become the basis of the next-gen mech if the prototype is successful enough. The prototype was based on the successful Enforcer while incorporating both next-gen and older technologies.
The experimental DNI system makes the Snowstorm operate faster as there usually is no need to operate anything by hands/foot, since it reads the thought of the pilot, removing the extra time required to actually move anything. However, it needs the pilot to concentrate on controlling the machine since the system is still experimental. If the system detects that the pilot is too distracted to use the system, it will be disengaged so the pilot would fight with conventional controls instead, until the pilot decides they are ready to use the system again.
Weapons and Equipment: Aside from the DNI system, the Snowstorm comes with a next-gen MMA assault rifle, lighter than an average assault rifle but is more fragile, and a supplementary head-mounted 30mm autocannon, with the latter mainly being used for anti-missile purposes and is also mounted on a vertical turret. Each magazine of the rifle comes with 30 rounds, and the Snowstorm carries four of them. The rifle also has a grenade launcher for damaging heavy armor, with the launcher coming with 5 spare rounds to be manually loaded. It also has a pop-up sword hidden in the left hand, to allow the mech to fight in close quarters. The mech also got a pair of vertically mounted missiles on its shoulder as well.
The Snowstorm's armor is not heavy but is strong enough to withstand a shot or two from heavy cannons - around the same as the average mechs. It is also equipped the Electronic Hyper Propulsion System, to reduce hits. Lastly, the mech is capable of full human movement as well, in order to not have the pilot feel odd while piloting.
Also, just to clarify, the assault rifle would not require care while handling, but would require care not to step on it or have a mech attack it, as some effective shots from an assault rifle can break it.
Having it based on an existing mech is fine. Hell, mine is based on the Guren Mk.2 from Code Geass. That said I am unfamiliar enough with apparently a lot of mecha media so it is possible to slip past me some very exact things like the Kell Hounds mercenary group from battle tech. That happened. With that I hope you understand that I don't actually know what you are copying off hand. Probably Gundam unicorn, but i still find reasons to not watch that yet so I don't know like anything about it.
Anyway nitpicking time. The DNI system's drawback is weird. Not that it doesn't make sense or anything. I may come back to it with some suggested changes to reduce its seeming accessibility and ease of use or something though. As it is it'll be really easy for anyone to use when it hits the market and I'm not entirely sure I'm okay with that. I suppose similar arguments could be made against the system in the Luna Fighter, but I assure you I am now thinking about that too. Sorry GreenGoat if I make you change things this close to starting.
Do you intend for the assault rifle to be better than a theoretical standard and if so in what way? Is its armor supposed to be better than average and if so does it have a drawback for this?
Doesn't include a lap dance sword. Greengoat wanted another mech to have a sword fight with and another mech with perfect articulation is the perfect candidate to deliver on that fantasy. This is not a required change, but if you are willing, help a guy out.
As a side note I appreciate that you went through my example mechs and used all my terrible existing systems =P
I was actually talking about basing it on the mechs from the opening post, not from existing media. Still, it is somewhat based on the YF-21 from Macross Plus, but also incorporating some background stuff from the VF-171 of Macross Frontier. The horn is based on some of Macross' mechas having a horn which serves as an anti-air laser gun.
I'm adding a clause to the DNI system about requiring a PIN and an iris recognization to activate unless the pilot is trying to re-activate the system after he got booted out, and the cockpit hatch hasn't been opened after the system got disengaged.
The assault rifle, yes. It is lighter for quicker aiming, at the cost of being easier to destroy if anyone bothers to aim at/sabotage it. The armor should have no drawbacks, so it would be average or slightly better depending on your vision.
As for the sword, the pop-up blade is supposed to be the sword, but I can change it to a sword mounted at the back.
[i]Black long hair + (Love + Insanity) = Mai waifu = Kotonoha Katsura[/i]
Other sites I RP (or might RP on):
Minecraft forum, as CDF
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><span class="bb-i">Black long hair + (Love + Insanity) = Mai waifu = Kotonoha Katsura</span><br>Other sites I RP (or might RP on):<br>Minecraft forum, as CDF</div>
(Found by googling "man")