Heheh. We flow better now so even with sparse posts I think we're picking up a bit :P I'm glad it works for you, and I think it worked out well too *Grin*

Very true. Just so you know, you're currently 4th. I have a lot due in the next two days, but nothing obscene after that, although I do need to use the time to move in and do make up work and paperwork that's been neglected. I'm actually not sure how my schedule will go, because I'm moving in and organizing my stuff as well, in the middle of all of this. But I'll try and have something for you before the end of next weekend.

No problem. As always, I will be here, and I am patient.

Damnit, I might have to bump you up to first or second, just because I keep daydreaming about this now. I wonder if/how Alexi's "knight-like" perception of Erik will change once he sees the reality of what the Resistance really has to do.

*Giggles* Sorry it's interrupting you flow :P You shall see, and I wonder how Erik will react to Alexi's reaction too :P

Nah, of all the interruptions my brain puts in to my attempt at a flow, yours is the least intrusive.

You're just too awesome! :-P This is currently tied for first as my favorite RP.

I am glad. I am also glad that you and I have built and RP that you find so enjoyable. After the rough start and that fight over that other RP, I was wondering if/when our flow would begin meshing. I'm happy that it has, and you are having fun.

I think our ideas on the other RP were too disparate. I had stronger ideas on what I wanted, and I think you had equally strong ideas as well. Also, both of us had problems expressing them clearly. We might have found a way for it to work, but it would have taken a lot of time and energy, enough to take out the fun.

I'm glad we found something that worked with a little less effort.

Hopefully our second one will mesh as well, just as soon as I find reliable time to write my half. :-P

I agree.

It would be nice to get it going, but I am patient, take your time :P I know I say that a lot, but it's an old habit I'm not sure I wanna break. Wow. . . .Apparently "Wanna" is a word in the Chrome dictionary. . . .Interesting. Sorry, I notice random things :P *Giggles* I just had this image of what my character looked like in the eyes of the bullies. Like some sort of demon with a Godzilla roar :P

Wanna ... Wow... it is. But "gorram" isn't. Clearly this should be addressed.

Probably scary as fuck. And the best part is, who is going to believe them? "Ethan's evil demon-cat thing attacked us!" ... "lolwut?"

Indeed. I agree.

I know, right!? Yu is just soooo. . . Not what anyone is use to :P *Giggles* *Bounces around room* I will continues to root for you!

Move-in challenges are having to be handled one leap at a time.. Argh.

My roommates literally do not cook at all. I could not even find a can opener, or a pot or pan. They eatout, use tv dinners, or get pizza. So I have to get all that stuff myself. Then there's sheets, trashbags, soap, deodorants, etc... and all these little things that despite my long list I probably won't get to today or Thursday. Then I have a make up test tomorrow at 3 pm, and a big quiz Thursday.

And the internet connection is messed up, so that's just another problem to deal with.

By the time I'm moved in, it will be time to move out...

Yu is lovely. I can't wait to work with him again.

Yeah. I'm glad I was/am the first name on the lease to my place. When I first moves in with my god brother and Sis, all three of us were equal, but seeing as he moves out and we've had a long line of people moving in and out afterward, it's a standing rule now that A. Whoever's been here longer has more sway over the household and B. Rule #1 of the house - Death(my nickname) is Boss. I am a fair ruler, but I also don't have to worry about certain things :P You pull your weight around my house or else face the consequences :P if there is a ssue, we have a fun system:

Step 1 - Talk it out calmly.

Step 2 - If step 1 doesn't work, find an arbiter and try again.

Step 3 - If step 1 and 2 don't work issue will be brought before the entire household to be resolved.

Step 4 - If all previous steps fail, the basement will be turned into a makeshift arena and the two combatants will fight it out using non lethal weapons found around the house.

I wish you best of luck with your roommate issues and send you all my support. I hope you guys can find a system that works for you, and let them all know that I think they are phuttzes for never cooking for themselves. They are depriving themselves of so much. . . .And good on you for cooking!~ I love cooking :P Also, good luck on your test! I'm glad you like Yu(Hahah) and I can't wait to work with Ethan(That's the name, right?) again as well. I see Yu having fun with him after he gets done trying to coddle him, or maybe during. . . .Ah, who knows :P

Fortunately, they say they keep things clean, and so far that seems to be true. If they don't want to cook, that's on them really. I don't cook much, but I do poach some eggs or boil pasta, and when I have a crockpot and time to buy good vegetables, I make thick soups in the crockpot. I don't need much, but having no utensils at all is disconcerting. Hopefully things will go okay, they seem to want to really be friends and hang out, which I'm... fine with I think? I like having new friends, but i'm also afraid of embarrassing myself and/or pissing them off, and I really have nothing in common with them. So we shall see.

I don't like cooking, but it is necessary to feed myself in any kind of cheap and somewhat healthy way.

Step 4 is an awesome step. :-P Your house sounds fun.

On the other hand, I dislike having other people in charge, so I don't know. Last time I lived on my own it was just me and my boyfriend, so we had a pretty equal partnership with it. This time there are 3 others, and we all rent by the room for the same price. I'm the oldest and the only one over 21. Also, I don't mind touching/killing roaches, and I tutor math which I've taken to higher classes than they have. So if they want someone to buy booze, kill bugs, and help with their math homework, they had better be nice? :-P

Ethan's his name... and Yu will find out quickly that he doesn't like to be coddled. Take him out of the bullying situation and he's actually quite intelligent and independent. As far as the abuse, he takes it due to a combination of learned helplessness and the fact that it is actually a pretty difficult situation. It's him against usually more than one other person where they are all genetically designed to be stronger and faster. If he fights back and wins, they will get more people or he will be the one arrested. It's happened before. So he's finally given up. It's easier just to take the abuse and move on.

Y should never be afraid of being embarrassed, it's useless emotion we all can do without, and their feelings are on them, it is their choice to get angry even if they wanna blame it on you.

*Sad face* I love cooking. It's one of my favorite activities.

Our house if fun, for the most part, but we do have one problem roommate, but she's almost never home. . . .

*Waggles finger* I don't approve of drinking in general, but buying for your underage roommates is unforgivable. Shame shame. Helping with math is good, but I like spiders. I put them outside rather than squishing them when my services are called for around here :P

Yu is an over protective cat who loves people. . . I see a very heart wrenching moment in the future.

I dont know, I can be pretty offensive on accident. Words and ideas pop ot of my mouth before the tact filter switches on. So im trying to watch that.

I like cooking with other people, but alone its just boring.

Still, I BOW TO NO ONE!! (Except the landlord i suppose....)

First of all, I havent done it yet, so don't judge yet. Secondly, they are 18 to 20, and he drinking age really should be 18 or 19 like in most other countries. So i dont really care if they drink. Thirdly, im curious as to what youhave against alcohol? Its basically just a legal drug. Too many people use it to self-medicate, and thats fucked up, but considering how expensive legit medical help can be, i cant fault them for doing what it takes to get through their lives, so long as they dont harm anyone else in the process. If i could afford alcohol I would probably drink mostly to deal with stress myself.

I couldnt find a napkin to squish the roach in so i threw it out the door.

Ethan might learn to enjoy it, but hes had to be very self-sufficient. It wouldnt be easy for him to accept a protector in the long term. Its too much of an unequal relationship.

Pope Truth: You can not, ever, under any circumstance, incur feeling in another person. Every emotion beside the base fear and pleasure is purely felt by choice, unconscious or not. So when you say you can be offensive, what you really mean is that people tend to choose to be offended by your words. You are not in any way responsible for another person's feelings. I use to be easily angered, you wouldn't believe the fits I could throw. Then I realized that I wasn't being forced to be upset, I was choosing to do so. I no longer get angry. It's pointless and messes with my cognitive functions. :P

"Its basically just a legal drug." - Exactly. I disapprove of anything willingly put in your body that you know causes detrimental effects. As I see it, alcohol is the worst offender. It kills your liver and leads to some of the most regrettable actions a single person can undertake. If you think about how much money people spend avoiding their problems with the stuff, killing themselves in the process, then you should realize that they could spend one third of that amount in their lifetime, get better, and not suffer long term health issues if they are just willing to not take the easy way out. Smoking is bad. Drugs are bad. Alcohol is bad, made worse because like smoking, it's legal. How many jokes have been made about getting drunk and sleeping with someone you never would have? Hello STD land! This is you haven, and booze are you nirvana. What? You're only fouty and your liver has failed? Well that doesn't sound ri- ooooohhhhh, your going with the fast and easy way to deal with, oh sorry, my mistake, the fast and easy way to avoid your problems. I see. Well, happy early funeral. Pope Fact: Drinking never helps, it just pretends to while killing you slowly. Or sometimes quickly! Angry girlfriend goes out, gets drunk, decides that her boyfriend's head would look good with a hole in it. Goes home, shoots hubby, then, oh no, what have I done!? Kablam. To drink, knowing what it does to your body, is foolish. Same goes for smoking. I do not apologize for speaking these truths. Please don't ever follow through with that foolish statement about drinking your stress away. Can't afford psychological help for your stress? You're in luck, I'm certified and have been a psychologist for years now. I'll help for free, just can't do meds.

Ethan will be providing just as much for Yu, even if he doesn't know it :P

I am very glad that you have learned to control your anger. But I still maintain there are some things that are offensive and should not be said by someone who wants to maintain polite friendships. I dont say the worst of those things, but I do blurt out a lot.

As far as the alcohol thing, what you're not seeing is that for some people, its not about logic, and it's not about what will kill them later. It's about what makes their lives seem livable now. People dont smoke, or drink, or do drugs because they think “Oh, this is going to be so healthy...” They do it because it's the only thing that makes life seem tolerable. Granted, I don't do those things. My vices are more eating too much and avoiding my problems via video games and the Internet. But I know full well that the only thing stopping me from getting drunk once a week out of frustration and stress is that I can't afford vodka, and cheap beer makes me sick.

I saw people at Tech that I KNOW were self-medicating. I knew a guy who studied constantly all week, and then on the weekend he was drunk or passed out from Friday afternoon to Sunday night. Most of the fraternity parties were just people sitting around drinking as well. He was an extreme case, but I doubt he was the only one who was doing it to deal with school stress.

But the thing is, many many people can't get help. I could write an essay on my experiences with the mental health system, going beyond even an ability to pay. Most counseling appointments are around 150 a pop, and want to talk about non-generic meds? Ahahahahaa... funny. If I hadn't had insurance at the time, I would have been paying 400 a month for one of my medications. Thankfully, the others were generics. Now that I don't have insurance, I can't even begin to afford it. Sorry, but at that point, alcohol is cheaper. Now, that's not counting the medical costs of liver disease later, but that's not going into most people's equations, because the idea is to get through the day now.

Maybe less people would have to turn to those vices if this country would get its head out of its ass on healthcare costs and the clusterfuck that is the medical system, to say nothing of the social stigma that comes with mental health issues. But since that's not going to happen, I'm just trying to point out that there is another side to it.

As a psychologist, you probably already know all of this, which is why it's hard for me to understand how you can be judgmental about it. I'm not offended or angry, just confused.

~~

Apart from that, I dont see a problem with social drinking. It helps with social anxiety, and personally, I enjoy having a social excuse for my lack of inhibitions. Every time I've been seriously intoxicated, I've had a good time and haven't done anything dangerous or stupid. I also haven't gone overboard, never had a hangover, and I do remember the experience. The only time I really actually drink enough to even get drunk is at Defcon, because the alcohol is cheap or free, and it's socially acceptable. Besides, Thomas dragged me there two years in a row even though I don't have the background to understand the panels going on, so I just spend the time partying and drinking, like half the crowd does anyway.

I appreciate the offer of help. I'll keep it in mind. But I dont want you to feel like you need to essentially do your job on your off hours.

Edit because I thought of something else later: Also, you talk about them spending less money and getting better... but, as you know, that doesn't exist for most mental illnesses. There's no "better." There's "let me play Russian roulette with my brain for a few years, spend thousands on medical costs for counseling and meds, and maybe, just maybe, my life MIGHT improve by a few centimeters."

That part about emotions is a philosophical issue that we can talk about later.

However on the drinking there are a few facts and figures I would like to drop in here for you.

The first is, quite simply, if you drink to “Deal with” stress, you are actually exacerbating your negative feelings seeing as this “Drug” is a depressant. When you drink and it seems like it helps, it is simply pulling you down into a low that removes your realization that your sad, but it actuality it's just making things worse. This is a fact, scientifically proven and undeniable.

Since I can't talk about my patients, one of my roommates has offered to let me talk about her issues instead. She use to drink to help with her stress, until she found out the truth and got professional help. She was spending well over $4000.00 a year in bars and on take home booze to help with her stress. She dropped out of collage and could not hold down a job. After realizing what the alcohol was doing and that it wasn't actually helping, she went to a a psychologist for six months. Inn those six months they figured out her problem and while she was not cured, she found out how to deal with her depression and stress in a healthy manner, all for about $900.00. And guess what, turns out that the drinking was the only thing making her stress so strong that after she stopped and picked up some good habits for dealing(Namely yoga and V-games) she got taken off her medication and is just fine. Well, she still suffers from chronic stress, but she deals with it in a positive way that helps her body rather than kills it.

I am not saying that this will be the case for everyone. I'm not claiming that for a second. However keep this in mind: The more you take something, the higher your tolerance gets, the more you have to take it to get the same effect. So, that $4000.00 would have been up to at least $6000.00 by the next year, year and a half. If you use booze to deal with stress for several years, you will have to spend more, and more, and more every year, not to mention your symptoms will get worse, making you drink more often, and not just cost you more and more money, but killing yourself faster and faster. That is a fact.

Yes, the health care system is f**ked up. I agree, but on the whole, it's the best way to go for your health and longevity.

Quote - “They do it because it's the only thing that makes life seem tolerable.

The key word there is seem. I know you don't share my truths about emotions, but I must say this – Anyone stupid enough to go with the quick fix, knowing that it is going to kill them, is a fool.

Want to know a sad fact? You know another way to deal with stress is cutting, right? Well guess what, cutting is safer than drinking. Sure, you wind up a bit scared, and yeah that means you have a more visible sign of your feelings just hanging out there, but at least you can recover from the cuts, and people will see them, and unlike drinking, it's considered unacceptable behavior more openly so you will have more people who have a sign that you need help.

Quote - “Sorry, but at that point, alcohol is cheaper.”

What value do you place on life then? I consider mine to be more precious than any temporary perceived relief that is actually just making me worse and killing me. You keep talking about drinking like the temporary lie is worth something, and in truth, it's not. Never will be, and it's foolish to think so. Drinking makes you worse, both in mind and body, and to think otherwise just screams of ignorance.

Quote - “But since that's not going to happen, I'm just trying to point out that there is another side to it.”

Yes, there is another side. I don't really care what people think it is, but the true other side is: I don't care about getting better, I'd rather pretend I feel better now while slowly killing myself in a socially acceptable way.

Quote - “As a psychologist, you probably already know all of this, which is why it's hard for me to understand how you can be judgmental about it. I'm not offended or angry, just confused.”

I am a psychologist. A Psychologist who spent his life from 5 to 19 going to my own Psychologist until we figured out how to help me. Now I only see one when I feel I need someone outside my family to talk to, which is once every few months. I am Bi-polar with ADHD and Schizophrenic tendencies. I went through many meds to figure it all out, even did some test meds to help out the mental health system. What to know what. . .How did you put it in the edit. . . .

Quote - "let me play Russian roulette with my brain for a few years, spend thousands on medical costs for counseling and meds, and maybe, just maybe, my life MIGHT improve by a few centimeters."

Yeah that. Wanna know my treatment? I'm doing it right now. My ADHD is treated by giving myself several things to focus on at once so my mind can stay occupied while I work on important things. My Bi-polar is treated, no joke, through reading, and video games. I am reading most of my day, from my work documents to my RP partner's replies, and I have at least 2 V-games going o at all times for me to turn to to vent or lift. My Schizophrenia is treated through my massive amount of RPs and the books I write. The voices, my characters. My uncontrollable urges, the scenarios I run in my books, stories, and RPs. True, at work I can only have one game up, if any, and often I am too busy, but all my symptoms subside when I'm working. My yearning to help others keeps me in check until I get home.

So, yeah, I'm a psychologist, and I agree the system is f**ked up, but here I am. I took a long time to find what works, for my own doctor to understand that my ever present book or hand held system was actually my non destructive self medication. But that's how it is. I now spend maybe 20$ a month on a new game or a couple new books. I spend my off time watching TV or Anime or YouTube, writing, playing games, cooking, and interacting with my online buddies, all at once, and I am fine with that. I am by no means say that this is “The solution” for other people, but it could be, for people like me. That's part of what makes the system so messed up is that the patients themselves are often unwilling to stick it out until they find what works, which means the system isn't being properly funded because the patients dropping out for the quick fix of booze or illegal drugs makes it seem like the mental health program is pointless. Which in turn makes everything mental health related more expensive just so they can stay in business. Vicious circle, no?

Oh, and you may have noted, helping people helps me, so don't worry about making me work when I'm off work. I'm always happy to help :P

~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, I guess to a happier note. I don't think drinking is always bad. Getting drunk, yes, drinking, no. I myself get dragged out every new year and a few birthdays to social gathering s where there is drinking. I can drink everyone I know under the table, but I don't. I hate the taste of alcohol, I just have a naturally very high tolerance. But that aside, I will take a few shots in celebration. Never enough to mess up my perceptions, to release my inhibitions, and most certainly never enough to dull my wits or emotions in any way. I don't consider having a few drinks evil, in fact, on occasion, I can even see getting drunk as something funny, but only under the right circumstances.

My entire rant above is purely about using booze to try and “Help” yourself. My roommate, the one who use to drink to “Help” her stress and depression, almost every other work day her co-workers have a few drinks with her before she heads home. A mixer, or a couple beers. I don't disapprove, because she's not doing it for the buzz or for some false sense of feeling better. Couple beers, a chat, and she heads home. I have no issue with that. Her body has time to process and purge the alcohol before her next one, little to no damage done. And while I still think getting drunk is bad, when it happens in a safe environment that the worst thing you could do is accidentally break something, like, in your own home and away from sexual predators or other really drunk people who may either wanna fight, or convince you to go home and murder your cheating partner. I'm fine with it on occasion, but I don't demonize it.

Quote - “Every time I've been seriously intoxicated, I've had a good time and haven't done anything dangerous or stupid. I also haven't gone overboard, never had a hangover, and I do remember the experience.”

You've been a mix of lucky, and you've never really gotten shitfaced, which is how most people who have been drinking for a long time to “help” their emotions need to get to continue “helping”. People who medicate long term with booze have black outs and lose chunks of time due to the detrimental effects of long term intoxication. Also, you can tell long term drinkers from other people because when they are NOT drunk, their hands shake and they lose motor function.

So, yeah, I am not the 100% opposed to drinking that I may seem to be, but I insist on being responsible, and present the fact that using booze to “Treat” your emotional problems is inexcusably foolish.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I dearly hope you don't hate me for my presentation of the facts. *Bow* I like RPing with you.

In my mind, the value of the temporary relief is the ability to keep living your life without killing yourself now. Or, more likely, than losing your job because the crazy in your head makes it too difficult. What I'm saying is that many people who do this stuff are basically doing it so that they CAN go to work next day.

Also, while I know alcohol is a depressant, I've found that I've gone from being tired to having more energy when I drank some. I thought it was incredibly weird at the time. Granted, my anecdote has nothing to do with statistical evidence, just thought I'd point it out. As you know, no drug works the same for everyone. That being said, I can't guess what the longterm effects would be for me

I'm glad your friend was cured. It's always good to hear that someone had a successful story. And I'm glad that you've found stuff that works for you as well.

But I've had my issues going on at least a decade. I've been in and out of the mental health system since I was 13, and I'm 22 now. And never has anything really worked for me. My life is still a mess and I'm barely managing it with a minimal workload.

I guess in my mind, if I did it, I'd be getting the cheapest vodka and orange juice and therefore, in the beginning, not spending that much. I'd do just about anything to be able to actually deal with my life without nearly shutting down. But again, I can't afford it anyway, so it's kind of a moot point.

And I do see what you're saying about the added tolerance and the fact that its totally unhealthy. I never said I thought it was a GOOD idea. I just said that I understood why people did it. The ability to live and be a functional member of society in the short term is often worth a few years off of the end of your life, in their minds. I'm not saying it actually is worth that. I'm saying that that's how it seems.

I don't hate you for telling me how dangerous the whole thing is. And I appreciate your offer of help. Honestly, it has been feeling like I would have to attempt suicide before anyone actually gave a damn. Not that I would.