Hey everyone!
So I know I don't frequent as much as I used to. But I have something I'm kinda going through and I just need some moral support...
Okay, so my last post I talked about going back to school and everything, right? Well everything was in order until yesterday I get a email from the assistant director of admissions stating that I failed to send them transcripts from two other universities I had attended. That a student who works in the admissions department saw my file and mentioned it to them. So the problem is... I didn't attend/attain any credits from any other universities and the schools they listed I have never even heard of. So I explained to him that it was an error and etc. At which point he says "Well maybe if you would just pick a school and stick with it you wouldn't have to worry about causing other people mass confusion." He probably would have been okay if he left it at one snide remark. But I fail to see how sending an email caused mass confusion? It was unbelievable. So I kindly said to him "I took a year off after being raped on your institutions campus. I did not attend any other institution and most definitely do not appreciate your comment." So his response to that is "Well that is just what happens when you're careless." So I kindly hung up on him rather than screaming at him like I wanted to.
After that interaction I got an email from him asking to confirm in writing that I didn't attend them. So I was cooperative and did so. But I am so incredibly tired of fighting with this damn school. I think I am finally going to push back. I feel like I'm six feet under and I think it's time they stop digging my hole deeper and start trying to figure out how to get out of their own hole. So I am filing a civil lawsuit against the school and having my rapist arrested. I spent the day with the DA and although they don't think they could get him on rape they definitely said they could get him on child molestation since I was seventeen at the time of the incident. In addition to all of this my lawyer has gotten me in contact with my local state senator and recommended I write a letter requesting he consider bringing legislation to Pennsylvania that would force universities to respond to these reports more aggressively and make it unlawful for the schools to continue to hide behind their internal investigations. If they are found trying to cover it up they could face a fine. This is something that Govenor Cuomo of New York is working on and I really would like to see it come to Pennsylvania and honestly nationwide.
However, with all of this comes the hard part. I have to tell my story. I can't get three words in without sobbing... I don't feel like anything I write is good enough and I really don't feel like I'm worth it. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I honestly believe I would be better off dead. All I am is broken. I'm not worth anything. I want to make this change but I feel as though that I won't have any impact. So what's the point? Maybe even my boyfriend is better off without me. I just don't know anymore.
So I know I don't frequent as much as I used to. But I have something I'm kinda going through and I just need some moral support...
Okay, so my last post I talked about going back to school and everything, right? Well everything was in order until yesterday I get a email from the assistant director of admissions stating that I failed to send them transcripts from two other universities I had attended. That a student who works in the admissions department saw my file and mentioned it to them. So the problem is... I didn't attend/attain any credits from any other universities and the schools they listed I have never even heard of. So I explained to him that it was an error and etc. At which point he says "Well maybe if you would just pick a school and stick with it you wouldn't have to worry about causing other people mass confusion." He probably would have been okay if he left it at one snide remark. But I fail to see how sending an email caused mass confusion? It was unbelievable. So I kindly said to him "I took a year off after being raped on your institutions campus. I did not attend any other institution and most definitely do not appreciate your comment." So his response to that is "Well that is just what happens when you're careless." So I kindly hung up on him rather than screaming at him like I wanted to.
After that interaction I got an email from him asking to confirm in writing that I didn't attend them. So I was cooperative and did so. But I am so incredibly tired of fighting with this damn school. I think I am finally going to push back. I feel like I'm six feet under and I think it's time they stop digging my hole deeper and start trying to figure out how to get out of their own hole. So I am filing a civil lawsuit against the school and having my rapist arrested. I spent the day with the DA and although they don't think they could get him on rape they definitely said they could get him on child molestation since I was seventeen at the time of the incident. In addition to all of this my lawyer has gotten me in contact with my local state senator and recommended I write a letter requesting he consider bringing legislation to Pennsylvania that would force universities to respond to these reports more aggressively and make it unlawful for the schools to continue to hide behind their internal investigations. If they are found trying to cover it up they could face a fine. This is something that Govenor Cuomo of New York is working on and I really would like to see it come to Pennsylvania and honestly nationwide.
However, with all of this comes the hard part. I have to tell my story. I can't get three words in without sobbing... I don't feel like anything I write is good enough and I really don't feel like I'm worth it. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I honestly believe I would be better off dead. All I am is broken. I'm not worth anything. I want to make this change but I feel as though that I won't have any impact. So what's the point? Maybe even my boyfriend is better off without me. I just don't know anymore.
