Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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The title says it all. Basically, my idea is to create a thread where each user can submit a paragraph or two of text. This text may be crafted specifically for the thread, or it may be lifted from the users other written work. An example that comes to mind would be an excerpt from an RP in which the user is currently involved. Another user could then come along and critique the submitted text of the former. Give tips or even full blown explanations regarding the quality of the grammar and how to improve.

Feel free to critique anything I've written so far. After all, no matter how good we may think we are, we could all use some improvement.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ArenaSnow
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Right. Here's a blurb, about 7 minutes worth, with some casual thought but no proofreading save my usual inline reading and not much of a plot around it.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by pugbutter
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Feel free to critique anything I've written so far. After all, no matter how good we may think we are, we could all use some improvement.


I haven't RPed in a while, but I'll throw my weight behind this clause, too. Anything that someone exhumes from the depths of my profile is fair game. Alternatively I can send poetry.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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@pugbutter Send whatever you like. Anything is fair game.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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@ArenaSnow Very good writing. It was quite descriptive and atmospheric. In my uneducated opinion, there isn't really any grammatical errors that are very noticeable. However, maybe ease up on the Oxford commas a little? Perhaps use more sentences? I also grapple with such a prospect.
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@ArenaSnow Very good writing. It was quite descriptive and atmospheric. In my uneducated opinion, there isn't really any grammatical errors that are very noticeable. However, maybe ease up on the Oxford commas a little? Perhaps use more sentences? I also grapple with such a prospect.


Comma structure is probably the single worst thing on my writing. Typically, reducing them requires me to restructure sentences in such a way I no longer feel they have a place. I think in a trail of thoughts, which creates sentences like this. At best, this is as far as it goes - at worst, my comment on this being a trail of thoughts would include these two sentences comma'ed together.

So yet again, a reminder to knock off the damn commas. I'll make myself feel better and say hey, at least I use them...

I could say pretty much the same on you, based on a short glance to your post history as of late. The only difference would be your comma issue, if present, is not as noticeable to me :p

If you can tell, I'm huge on two-part sentences.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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<Snipped quote by TwelveOf8>

I could say pretty much the same on you, based on a short glance to your post history as of late. The only difference would be your comma issue, if present, is not as noticeable to me :p


I would be greatly interested in the specific examples you could cite of this "comma issue" amidst my work if you don't mind. Not that I disbelieve your statement, mind you. It's just that since this a relatively technical topic, citations are needed.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by ArenaSnow
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<Snipped quote by ArenaSnow>

I would be greatly interested in the specific examples you could cite of this "comma issue" amidst my work if you don't mind. Not that I disbelieve your statement, mind you. It's just that since this a relatively technical topic, citations are needed.


It was an unclear way of me saying I had the same impression of your writing as you had with mine, except for the fact I didn't spot comma issues.

I'm sure it could be there, just haven't spotted it.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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<Snipped quote by TwelveOf8>

It was an unclear way of me saying I had the same impression of your writing as you had with mine, except for the fact I didn't spot comma issues.

I'm sure it could be there, just haven't spotted it.


Well then in that case you have my thanks. I'm greatly flattered by such a glowing appraisal of my work.
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<Snipped quote by ArenaSnow>

Well then in that case you have my thanks. I'm greatly flattered by such a glowing appraisal of my work.


I might just be easily pleased :p but no particular issue stood out to me on a cursory check. So that's a good sign... now, wait for the people less inclined to agree <.<
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by TwelveOf8
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<Snipped quote by TwelveOf8>

I might just be easily pleased :p but no particular issue stood out to me on a cursory check. So that's a good sign... now, wait for the people less inclined to agree <.<


Precisely the reason why I set this whole thing up in the first place.
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