Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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What'd you think about my latest post? I could use a bit of feedback, and I was mainly wondering about...
* Its length. I don't want to pressure you into writing more than you're comfortable with. Or, maybe you appreciate the challenge? Is it fun to read a lot, or is it dull?
* Speaking of which, how was the tactical landscape description? Dull, informative, glazed over, skipped?
* Do Rose and Amalthea sound alike? I'm thinking they do - I'm not convinced one could tell them apart just by mannerisms and speech patterns alone. Amalthea is intended to be more emotional and wears her heart on her sleeve, while Rose is meant to be more subdued and careful.
* The two girls poked fun at the "at each other's throats" comment, as much at their own expense as at his. Did you find it funny, or offensive on Solomon's behalf?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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First point: I don't mind the length of posts as long as it isn't fluffed artificially. What I mean to say is that you aren't bringing yourself to write a long post. I don't care much for a required post size. Always saw those as demanding, especially when much doesn't need to be said. And I also tend to get to the point when I write. As for reading, I could do that all day. I'm fine with that.

Second point: I liked it. At first, I was confused, but your latest post cleared all of that up. My only point there is to open with it when a new setting is introduced.

Third point: When it comes to two possible love interests, it always pays forward to make them different from one another. You've been doing a good job of that. Don't beat yourself up if they actually agree on something. It would be rare, but it happens. Speech patterns should not matter too much, though I imagine Rose paying incredible intention to what words she uses while Amalthea, as you said, is more blunt with being vocal about her thoughts. As for mannerisms, all I can really say this early on is that Rose really does like prostrating.

Fourth point: I saw it as funny, Solomon would too.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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Should mention that I would like some review of my recent posts as well. I don't have a singular thing to ask for critiquing on, just whatever you think should be mentioned.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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Your recent posts have gotten a lot better. Solomon is doing his own things and making his own choices, which is more than half of today's protagonists can say. He doesn't just let things happen to him - he takes action. I alsp find it unique that he's not just a generic swordsman. He's got some character to him.

I've been keen to see what choices Solomon makes in more difficult circumstanced where the right answer isn't so clear cut, so you could say I find him interesting. ^_^
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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@awkwarddingo
Oops, don't reply yet. I forgot to respond to Solomon's question.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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All right, replied fully. Have at it! :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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Sorry for the partial responses. I get so wrapped up in the scene with one part of Solomon's activity that I forget to respond to everything. :P
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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It's fine. Solomon's chatty. XD
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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Hey, Solomon could take this opportunity to have some one-on-one time with Rose if he's not particularly sleepy.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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Did I leave you on an awkward hook?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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Don't worry. you're alright. I'll have my edit up by tomorrow.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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Sorry for the late reply. Work and Holidays are a chore
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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I know, right? Sometimes we gotta catch up with life. :P
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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Posting Saturday afternoon. My vacation for the rest of the year begins! :D
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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The princess can be pretty spineless sometimes, but she has her moments. :P
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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I should probably write more on how Solomon thinks instead of using just his words. I'm trying to make him the guy that, for the most part, is conflicted about the Mark because of the circumstances behind it and such.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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That's an intriguing angle. I always figured the Mark to be unambiguously positive, but I've been brooding over how it would be viewed politically, and it may have some surprising (and not necessarily good) side effects on that spectrum.

Yeah, I'd like to see more of Solomon's thoughts too. I'll try my best to have the girls not act as if they can read them. xD
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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The bug on Solomon's arm infected him with a Plague. He'll show symptoms of it in a few hours.

Rose's character is becoming more fleshed out in my head. I'm finding that she's joking and easy-going when in private with someone she likes, and stiff and formal when out in public. She also, apparently, has an active imagination for the man she's crushing on... ;)
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by awkwarddingo
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A plague wait what?!

And alright. Eventually Solomon will get his head out of the clouds and start looking at either Thea or Rose. Eventually ;)

And sorry for lack of anything the past few days. Holiday fun and all that
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Thinslayer
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The plague will serve to demonstrate certain aspects of Rose's and Thea's characters, and when Solomon recovers, it'll give them all a bonding opportunity. That's the idea, at least. Are you okay with this subplot?
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