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2 mos ago
Current Either RolePlayerGuild.com is glitching, or everyone is studiously ignoring my PMs.
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@Scarifar
A few months prior...

The West Pelinese Labyrinth was oddly quiet for a place brimming with dark magic. This one reached all the way down to the planet's core, where a mana barrier generated by the Sealed Tower blocked off any further progress. The Empire had placed teleport circles in strategic locations all around the labyrinth to speed up navigation, but today, they didn't feel terribly helpful as Afki and her escort team charted out a previously unexplored branch. They'd been underground for days now, almost a week, and some of the men were getting sick for lack of sunlight.

The quest seemed like a tough one at first. The labyrinth was notorious for generating numerous powerful monsters from its crystal core, and the team went in there fully expecting to fight. But there was neither hide nor hair of any of the usual quarries. There wasn't even so much as a rat, let alone the giant spiders and manticores that usually roamed these parts. The local Formic tribe was nowhere to be seen.

Teleus, a high-ranking paladin from the Adventurer's Guild, raised his torch to shed light on a high roof they just walked under. "Say, Afki, I don't remember if you ever told us how you came to the Empire. What brought a tribal like yourself all the way down here to explore slog-marathons like the West Pelinese Labyrinth? Was it the money? I bet it was the money."
@Scarifar Ooh, I'm liking these characters a lot! Go ahead and put the CS in the Character Sheets section while I work on a way to introduce them.
The goblins are currently inside the (ruined) city. The party of reincarnations is just outside the city, on the way to Robert's house. The Witch is still in the Sealed Tower directing operations and participating in the security check.
Edited my latest post with a bit about the goblin girl. She likes da headpatz. :3
@TheFox Yeah, that'll be a boss fight for the ages. :D
The goblin girl nuzzled into his chest and wiggled her ears as Chatak patted her head. When Patches came over to lick his master's cheek, the girl laughed and pulled the hyena into a group hug.

Melvin's remark earned Chatak's attention. "What you saying Guardman? You really not realize? Chatak flattered." Chatak pulled off his hood, revealing the characteristic green features of a goblin.

Melvin gasped. "You're a goblin? Holy shitstorm in a loo!"

"Now, we find caught humans. Chatak think it about time we go save them, yes?"

Melvin grinned abashedly and scratched his head. "Yeah, it's about time we did that."

"Rescuest thou strangers whilst thy friends call thee 'you?' Let us first exchange names. Mine is Shaktak. My female companion here possesseth no name yet. What is thine, O human guardman?"

"Uh, Melvin. Of Charlsbury."

"Splendid, my good fellow! I shall promptly forget thy name henceforth! Makest thou sure to remind me every once in a while, yes?"

"You got it, bud. Now, about the prisoners. I have no idea where they are."

As they spoke, a goblin death-knight rounded the corner and stared at them. Melvin started to back away. "Uh oh. I think we've been had," he muttered. The goblin stepped closer, but instead of accosting them, he approached Shaktak and declared, "Speak Common too? Me speak Common! Brothers in Common-Speak!" He put out his fist, and Shaktak gave him a fistbump.
"Well-met and a fine afternoon to you, good sir! Didst thou learn under Professor Tiltorius also?"
"Yes! Me learn with Tiltorius. Good teach. Hard, crazy, but good! Me learn lots."
"Agreed. What style didst he compel in thee?"
The goblin knight cleared his throat and replied, "Yo dude zat is vicked sick!"
Shaktak roared with laughter. "I love it! Truly thou shouldst use it more often!"

The two bantered for a bit while the others looked on awkwardly. At length, Shaktak asked, "Dost thou practice with the human captives?"
"Eh. Me try. Humies spit. But me learn many humie curses! Common word 'fuk.' Mudderfukr, fukinshit, fukr, yoofuk. You know meaning?"
Shaktak scratched his head and chuckled. "I believe 'fuck' refers to human reproduction."
The goblin recoiled in horror. "Ew! Blegh! They not wrong, but...me no understand brothers' fetish for humies. Thank Queen forbid it."
"I do not understand it either. Absolutely disgusting. Do you have to interrogate them?"
"Queen try recruit them. Some join. Most spit. Spitty humies caged back there." He jabbed his thumb at a small tower structure next to the Sealed Tower.
"I see! Wouldst there be any trouble were I to speak with them?"
The goblin shrugged. "You try recruit humies. Me wipe spit. Bath that way."

The goblins fist-bumped and parted ways. Shaktak turned to Chatak and said, "Thou heardst him. To the prison we go!"
Alright, post is up. I know it's still a bit short, but yeah, I didn't know what else to say with it really.

My bad lol

I'll try to give you more hooks to write on next time
Let me know when my turn comes, I'll just be blankly staring at my ceiling as I reload the homepage aggressively.

EDIT: I'm not joking I'm bored out of my fucking mind right now.

I think you and I are kindred spirits in that regard. I'll probably be sitting here reloading every five seconds until midnight unless someone posts. xD
"Who is left to oppose the Witch and her army?"

They hadn't got far before their question was answered. A series of explosions ripped through the city wall and crumbled sections of it, not exactly the sort of thing an invading power would want for a newly conquered position. Someone else was opposing the Witch.

That someone turned out to be a certain well-dressed goblin and his more shoddily clad companion.

"I daresay, that was splendid potionwork thou didst concoct!" the male crowed. The female grinned and wiggled her ears at him before disappearing through the hole she'd made. The male, suddenly panicked at having lost sight of her, followed her through the hole with as much haste as his feet could carry him.

The girl scuffled behind a pile of rubble as goblin knights rushed to investigate one of the other explosion sites. Pleased with herself at having successfully distracted them, she scrambled up to a high point on the wall and looked around. Her ears wiggled when she finally spotted her mark.

"Didst thou find our friend?" the male whispered loudly. She hopped around with glee and pointed to a certain midget-sized individual and his knight trying to sneak past a pair of guards, who were gambling over a pile of coins. The male began to climb up to try and see what she was pointing at, but he was doing such a noisy job of it that she had to yank him into a fallen hay bale with her when the guards came over to find out what was causing all that ruckus.

When they eventually left, she pulled the male back out and put a finger over her lips.

"Ah, yes, I shall be quiet henceforth," he whispered.

Satisfied with his answer, she located a spare suit of goblin armor and plopped it on her friend.

"What? Dost thou expect me to wear this- this oily, ebon monstrosity?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

He winced. "Ugh. Verily this shall stain my garments," he mumbled as he struggled to put on the armor. The girl eventually had to come over and help him put it on. Once he was finally suited up, she gave him a once-over and a thumbs up.

"I pray this endeavor is worth it," he grumbled.

Now that she had a suitably convincing escort, she could finally waltz around like she owned the place. The guards didn't even give her a second glance when she strutted past them; she already looked the part of a Goblin Magiker to a tee. When she relocated Chatak, she rushed over to him and tackled him in a tight hug.

"Oh! Is that thy friend? 'Tis a pleasure to make thine acquaintance!" The male approached Melvin and offered a handshake, failing to realize he still looked like a goblin death-knight at the moment.

Melvin just stared. "A goblin who can speak Common? Now I've seen everything..."
@Rabidporcupine Oh! I was wanting to ask if you needed me to post something about Chatak's friends, or if you're good to control them.
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