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Thirst





Toffee was thirsty. She rubbed at her throat and winced as she swallowed her saliva in the desperate hope of relief. It felt, oddly enough, like sand.. A flash of pain pulsed behind her eyes and she shut them. With a quiet moan she placed a hand upon the nearest tree to steady herself. She hadn’t been quite the same since Sab found her in that daze and ever since she had the acute awareness that something was wrong, but she didn’t know what.

She still couldn’t even recall why Sab had found her in the state to begin with. She had a vague recollection of a haze, red like blood… Blood that had been on her, dried to burgundy stains. And her spear had been destroyed. Sure, the tips broke all the time but that was only carelessness or when it was lodged in a big animal. She grimaced, opening her eyes. It was all concerning, to say the least. But survival was now the most prevalent focus of her mind, at least she tried to make it be that. But her throat…

“Sab?” she called. More hoarse than she had ever been. “Where are you?”

As she waited, Toffee realized that If someone had told her that she’d soon be adrift on her own, family scattered and that her closest companion would be a pile of sand, she would have laughed in their face. But she couldn’t because it was true. Much to her chagrin. There had to be some sort of irony there, right?

Then those thoughts drifted to her siblings. More and more she wondered why she had even left Tad and Teefee behind. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She was still furious at Teefee for her violation and she didn’t really know how that was ever going to be resolved. But she had just straight up left Tad behind without even saying goodbye and that just felt… Terrible. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe she should have turned around by now to go find her sister, who was probably distraught beyond measure but something told her no. It would be a terrible mistake to do so, it seemed to say.

She could only wonder why.

A rustling came from a nearby evergreen bush, followed shortly by a high-pitched whistling and the sound of sand pouring. The sounds mixed strangely, until they started to vaguely resemble speech. “We are near, Toffee!”

From the bush emerged a mass of sand, a being that called itself the Sabulon, and who had more recently been known as Sab. It shook off a light covering of snow, not entirely unlike a dog. “Apologiesssss, we had sssseen a small beast-bird sssscurry away. Ssssadly we did not catch it…” it explained, as bashful as a miniature dune could look. “Do shyou need more wet-water? Shyou sssssound a bit bad…”

“Yes.” Toffee nodded slowly. “So thirsty…” she trailed off, licking her lips as her mouth began watering. Had Sab mentioned food? She shook her head, how could she salivate now? She swallowed again and it stung, which made her wince again. “Have you found any wet-water near us?” she asked, trying to distract herself.

“We only found mud and ssssnow. But we heard ssssomething, too. Something we do not know.” Sab stretched up to a good height, about half of Toffee’s, and stayed still, listening for something. “It ssssounds like flowing. But not ssssand or ssssnow. West from here.”

“You taught ussss of ssstreams. Maybe isss that?” it asked, hopeful. “Lots of wet-water for Toffee-Friend then! And maybe food too!”

“Lead the way, Sab-Friend.” Toffee said and she followed as Sab began to roll along. She watched the Sabulon like a hawk watches a dove, but instead of striking Sab (something that had never crossed her mind) she just stared at the mass of sand and how it moved. How it weaved itself through the snow and underbrush, carrying along bits and pieces of the land and running across others. How in the ancestors did she ever come across such a strange thing? It proved a wonderful distraction from her throat and she said, “I’ve been meaning to ask, how long have we been traveling together now? It hasn’t been a week yet, has it? Or, uhmm, do you even keep track of time?”

Sab raised up one end of its body and nodded it once, a habit it had picked up by watching Toffee do it herself. “Yes, yes, time useful! We remember it, remember the dark-light cyclesss. It has been… six dark-light cycles ssssince we met!” It nodded once more to punctuate its declaration, then added, “We don’t know if issss equal to a ‘week’ or not, though.”

“Yeah, what even is a week honestly?” she found it in herself to muse. They fell into companionable silence and for once, Toffee found that the world around her was vivid in color. The air was growing warmer, she thought, as the game trail they followed was a tad mushy. Green shoots were popping up here and there, whispering about the promise of spring. Birds sang joyous songs and animals were chittering and talking in the absence of her and Sab’s voices. Then she noticed the bough of the tree and how it dripped with snow melt. She tilted her head and focused, noticing a small droplet of glimmering water. She watched as it rolled down one pine needle, then the next and on and on until it ran off the edge and into oblivion.

She had seen blood drip like that, hadn’t she? The recollection was like a punch to her gut and she froze. She looked away from the tree but could only notice other droplets, rolling, rolling, dripping… dripping… She shut her eyes. Her breath quickened and her thirst doubled. She thought of the water and wanted to gag. She thought of the blood, running like a stream from an open wound, blotting the snow like dye on fur and her mouth watered.

Sab didn’t notice the change in Toffee, too focused on following the sound of the stream through the trees. It sometimes paused for a brief second, making sure they were still on the right track, or momentarily distracted by a nearby bird taking flight. Once or twice it even stuck part of itself inside a bush to rummage around, fascinated by the burgeoning plants. With how young it acted, it probably never had seen any before.

Then it stopped, and stood tall, suddenly focused on something. It slowly flattened itself, trying to be as silent as possible… and then leaped off the animal track they had been following, throwing itself like a net. The sound of a brief scuffle ensued, peppered with the very unhappy croaks of some kind of bird. It only lasted for a few moments though, and soon Sab rolled back on the trail, enveloped around a plump ptarmigan, the animal’s neck dangling limply. Cleanly snapped.

“Look! We did it!” it called out happily to Toffee, “We caught a beassssst-bird! Like shyou showed ussss! Food for shyou!”

Sab had barely even uttered ‘for you’ before Toffee had descended. She grabbed the ptarmigan and there came a vicious ripping sound as she tore the head off. Her pupils had blown and she held a very odd look on her face as she cast aside the head. Next she tipped back her head and held the body over her mouth. Red crimson began to dribble from the headless corpse. As much as it entered her mouth, the same amount coated her face and her chest but she didn’t care. This was highly unlike anything Sab had seen from Toffee but at the moment, all she could think about was subduing the burning in her throat.

She thought she would have gagged, that the taste would have been repulsive- but it was not. If anything, it was memory. She had never thought something else could taste like a shiny rock she had once found along a riverbank in her youth. It had been orangish and looked funny and only on a dare from Tad had she licked it. Only now, in such a moment of barbarity could she recall that alien taste and how this bird reminded her of it. When the blood became a trickle she began to lick the open wound and her face with mad glee. Before she knew it, she had bit into the feathers, realized that was a terrible idea and then spat them out before licking furiously to get to the meat underneath. Puffing and blowing out feathers before she reached the raw flesh.

Sab recoiled at the sudden show of viciousness, visibly taken off-guard by it. But it quickly settled down, simply observing Toffee as she devoured the bird raw. After a few minutes, it finally decided to pipe up. “Shyou not need to put beast-bird in fire?” it asked cautiously. “Shyou always put beast-food in fire before. Shyou said is better for shyou, no?”

“If shyou too hungry, we can sssstop for now. Far maybe-stream will not disappear. We can find more beast-food for shyou…” it added quietly, worried for its friend.

These words seemed to jolt Toffee out of her state of being and once more she froze, mouth full of raw flesh. She looked down at the half eaten ptarmigan and then she looked at Sab. What was she doing? Why was she eating such disgusting-

Toffee turned to the side and wretched violently. The bird fell from her hands as she collapsed to her hands and knees. Tears stung her eyes as the contents of her stomach emptied just as quickly as it had filled.

When she at last wretched and only bile came up, her breathing was ragged and she felt feverish. “W-What’s happening to me?” she cried out, afraid and terrified of herself.

Sab twisted its body around, staying silent, letting Toffee catch her breath. It spoke up after a few moments. “Let’s resssst,” it simply stated. “We think shyou might need dormance. Shyou might be sssssick…”

It went slightly off the path to pick up some sticks, keeping the dry ones and dropping the wet ones. “We make fire for shyou. Find plant-food too, maybe.” It dropped the pile of sticks at Toffee’s feet, avoiding the spot where blood and bile soaked the soil. “Then we look, make ssssure shyou okay. Okay?”

“Yes…” she whispered. There was a terrible weight behind her eyes at the mention of rest and her body felt feverish. Perhaps that would be good. She’d get some sleep and feel better. She huddled into a ball before the pile of sticks and felt a shiver run up her spine, not from the damp earth (for it actually felt cool upon her skin) but deep inside. Her eyelids shut without any hesitation and Toffee entered a fitful sleep within seconds by the sound of her breathing.




In the meantime, Sab got to work. It quickly started a small fire by Toffee’s side, using the sticks it had brought, and once satisfied by the flames’ vigor, went off in search of more food. Hunting was off the table, since visibly meat had made Toffee sicker than she’d already been, but plants were still on the menu. With spring finally arriving, green shoots were plentiful, and Sab could recognize a few it had seen its friend eat before.

It soon returned to Toffee’s side, carrying a small bouquet of dandelion greens and young yarrow stalks, as well as a bough of old but still edible winter berries. It set its bounty aside, and began observing its sleeping friend. She did not look well, even while asleep. She moved around a lot, never seeming comfortable, and when it gently reached out with a tendril, she was much warmer than it had ever sensed from her before.

And then it felt it, something different. Towards the back of her left shoulder, something was wrong with her skin. It felt both like a bump and a series of small holes, as if something had pierced the skin and it had swelled up around it, in a vaguely circular shape. A wound too subtle for its approximation of sight to have picked up alone.

It had a feeling it might know what that wound was. It moved to the bird carcass still lying around, and felt through its feathers, until it found what it was looking for. Similar indentations, exactly where Toffee had bitten it. When had Toffee been bitten? By who, or what?

It was when she slept that Sab began to notice something else. Her skin, once sun kissed tan, was fading into a pallid, almost ghostly white. Not quite unlike the snow. Her brown mane of hair was turning darker at the roots and even her tail was growing black, and somehow even fluffier. The tips of her ears had begun growing into points. More alarming was that her fingernails, sharp in their own right before, were growing into finer points. Her muscles seemed to be more defined as well, like she was extremely dehydrated. The flickering behind her eyelids was growing more and more rapid and her breathing was rapid and short.

It didn’t like what it was sensing. It knew little about people still, but it was pretty sure that Toffee would have told it if it was normal for humans to change like that. It braced itself, before gently reaching out and shaking her awake. “Toffee-Friend, awaken. Something sssstrange-wrong isss happening to shyou,” it called out. “Shyou change color, shyou injured… what is happening?”

It grabbed the plants it had gathered, and brought them near her face. “I found plant-food for shyou. Shyou need food. Please eat.”

Her nostrils flared and Toffee awoke. Her eyes were no longer that shade of green that seemed to twinkle in the light. Instead they had turned a fiery orange that cast her gaze in a sinister glint. But if anything, she just looked confused. “Sab…?” She asked, her voice still hoarse and now groggy. “What’s going on? What’s that smell?” She began to sit up, wholly ignoring the plants in front of her. Her eyes darted as she scanned the trees and horizon.

“Smell? We not know, we not smell…” Sab answered, surprised. It dipped part of its body in the smoke coming from the nearby fire, then focused back on Toffee. “Smell is in air, smoke is in air… Shyou smell smoke? Fire?”

“No…” She whispered and began to stand on shaky legs. It was only when she took a step forward and crashed back to the earth that she seemed to focus. She spotted her hands and lifted them to her face in quiet inspection. In doing so she snagged some of her now black hair and her eyes caught the contrast of the hair against her skin. “Sab…” she began again, “Am I dreaming or did-” A strong gust of wind hit them, causing the fire to flare. Toffee’s mouth went slack as she sniffed the air. Her orange eyes seemed to grow larger. “Can’t you smell that…?” she asked, a strong sense of longing in her voice. “It smells like blood.”

“Lotssss of blood on ground near. Shyou can smell even when not in air like ssssmoke? Maybe issss that.” Sab was starting to feel even more lost than it already was. Its friend was changing strangely, and now she was entirely focused on something it could not sense. It didn’t like how eager she was to get up. It would have much preferred she stayed down and rested, so that she could recover from the strange illness. “Shyou is acting different than normal. We worried for shyou…” it admitted quietly.

This seemed to pull her back from wherever her mind was wandering and she looked down at Sab with sudden fondness in her expression. She was still Toffee, even if her appearance had suddenly changed. She leaned down and gave the pile of sand a few gentle pats. “I don’t know what’s going on with me Sab.” she said, her voice calm and measured. “But my fever is gone at least and I… Strangely, I feel good. Maybe I’m just a little parched. Come on, let’s get away from this… place. “ She looked over to the discarded bird and her refuse. “I won’t lie, I’m a bit scared, Sab. But as long as you are by my side I think everything will be okay.” she smiled, revealing a mouth full of pointy teeth, no longer stained yellow but now stark white. Her canines were slightly longer than the rest and it almost looked predatory if not for her kind eyes. Another breeze ruffled her black-brown hair and for a second, she stiffened before standing and beginning to walk in the direction the wind was blowing from.

“Are you coming?” she called.

Sab stood still only for a moment, before hurrying behind her. “We are coming! Where elsssse would we go?” it answered honestly. It sincerely couldn’t think of anywhere else it wanted to be, ever since it learned of the joy good company could bring. Toffee was acting a bit more like herself now, too. It was reassuring, even if the threat of illness still hung over them. Sab would have to keep close watch on its friend’s state, to make sure she wouldn’t get worse…

After a short walk of companionable silence, the trees began to thin out and before long they were replaced with dead brown grass, whose new green shoots were just beginning to emerge from the muddy earth. They began to crest a short hill and the wind was blowing something strong now, a warmth enveloping the both of them as it did. Sab could smell something strange now but could not quite place it.

It was only when they reached the top of the hill did Toffee stop. Once Sab joined her, they were able to see what lay before them. A stream broke through the growing land like blue fire and stopped near it, just below them and across, were more ur-humans! They had made camp just like Toffee and Sab had on many occasions. There were so many!

Sab was literally vibrating with excitement, a slight buzzing sound emanating from its body. So many more people! And they looked very different from Toffee, too! So many new things to learn, new friends to make! Though one thing worried it a little… “Are the new people going to kick usssss like shyou did?” it asked Toffee. “Ssssscattering is inconvenient, we not want to rissssk forgetting, or changing too much too fassst…”

Toffee was silent. Too silent, for too long. Sab was on the verge of asking her again when she finally said, “They won’t kick you.” Her voice had a whimsical note to it, as if she was speaking but far away. “In fact, you should stay here Sab. I’ll go and… scout. Yessss, scout.” And then she was gone. Rushing down the hill before Sab could even blink. When had she gotten so fast?

When she reached the stream’s edge, they noticed Toffee, and a few people walked towards her. They looked a bit strange, with no long tail at their backs and no pointy ears on their heads, and some seemed to have hair growing from their faces. Sab observed carefully, fascinated by how different humans could look from each other.

It began to roll down the hill too. Sure, it was worried about getting kicked, but Toffee had said she wouldn't let that happen, and it trusted Toffee. Surely she would warn the other humans of its good will, and they would trust her.

It did not get very far down before things went… wrong. A light-haired human raised their hand, probably to catch Toffee's attention. Toffee crouched for a second, and then leaped over the stream and tackled the same human to the ground. And then the screaming began.

Sab could see that Toffee had latched her mouth around the man’s neck and with a sickening squelch, much like the bird from earlier, blood exploded forth from the neck as she reared back. There was no more familiarity in her face, just an animalistic fervor. She licked the man’s blood from her lips and for the briefest moment, euphoria bloomed before she tore into him again. This time she ripped open his throat and his screams turned into a ghastly gurgle before he grew quiet.

There were shouts as the ones with facial hair lurched forth from where they had been sitting or standing, brandishing weapons and things that glinted in the light. They ran at Toffee, who seemed oblivious as she… had her way with the corpse.

Sab froze, its mind reeling as everything it thought it knew about people and humans was thrown aside. People didn’t eat other people, didn’t they? Toffee had only ever eaten beasts and plants. Toffee had never been this aggressive before. Toffee… wasn’t acting like Toffee anymore.

And then it rushed down the hill as quickly as it could. It had no time to waste. It needed to stop her from damaging the other humans, or protect her from them. Probably both, at this point. It fully threw itself at her side, knocking her off of her meal’s body, and sending them both sprawling on the ground. As soon as it had gathered itself back up enough to speak, Sab cried out in a high-pitched whistle, louder than it ever had before. “SSSSSTOP!”

She was in the midst of hissing at Sab when their cry broke through. Toffee blinked and her wide pupils retracted back into a normal shape. She looked confused, shocked even and then her eyes darted to the human she had slain and her mouth opened in abject horror. “S-S-Sab!” She mewled. “W-” but before she could speak again there came a strange whistle and a sudden impact of bone and flesh, and Toffee was the one screaming this time. For a spear had gone straight through her shoulder. The other humans were approaching, shouting terrible things.

Things were dangerous for Toffee. Urgent, even. It needed to focus, now more than ever. Half of itself concentrated on the surrounding humans, still wielding their weapons, and the other half on Toffee and her wound. Feelings were put aside for now, panic and fear dulling, as Sab fully dedicated itself to thinking for a way out of this situation.

Problem number one, the humans were rapidly approaching. Solution? Run away, quickly. Unfortunately, Toffee still seemed a bit out of it, and was injured to boot, which led to problem number two, the spear sticking out of her. Solution? If the spear being there is the problem, then simply remove it. Sab firmly grasped the spear near the blade, where it had gone through its friend’s shoulder, and snapped the shaft in half, then pulled it out of her flesh. It did its best to ignore her scream of pain; a bit of pain now was better than death.

“Up, up!” it chanted, pushing at Toffee. It tried making itself seem bigger, like it had seen some beasts do, which did manage to have some humans pause for a second, but they still approached much too quickly. “Run, run! Quick! NOW!”

Except Toffee did not run. Her head had dipped after Sab had pulled the spear out, her black hair obscuring her face. And from behind that curtain, Sab could see her lips had curled into a smile. A strange smile. She no longer screamed despite the bloody wound of her left shoulder and the arm that now hung limply there. There came a deadly sort of calm and Sab knew that something terrible was about to happen.

A red haze, almost like smoke, began to rise from her skin. The wound on her shoulder stopped bleeding and she moved the arm as if testing she could. Within a blink she had gotten to her feet and Sab could now see that her once green-turned orange eyes had completely filled with a burning red.

She only said one word to Sab, “Hide.” and it sounded like the old Toffee. Before she was gone, leaping with explosive legs. She landed in front of the first human and before he could react, she had slashed through the fur of his tunic, through the flesh and muscle of his body and his organs tumbled out with a sickening thud. He was too shocked to scream as another man thrust his spear at her, she caught the spear, yanked and threw her first into his head. There was a large crack and he dropped. The other humans now truly paused and the red smoke became thicker, billowing to the ground about her body.

Sab could not see her face but it knew Toffee was smiling.



The Problem With Curses





"Lucius, my Knight of Angels, my final order to you is this…”

Though he could no longer see the face that spoke those words within his memory, Lucius knew who had delivered such utterance. She had been an angel, a princess of light- an ideal to strive for. Octavia was her name. Or… had that been her name? When he tried to remember what she looked like, all he saw was a warm figure bathed in light. Tears touched his face as she cradled him. Were they his tears? Were they hers? He wanted to remember but the picture never came to him. Had she been of fair skin? Had her hair been that of oak leaves in the fall, flaming red as the wind whipped them into the air? Were her wings of pure snow or had they been mottled with the brown of tilled soil? Had she sounded as his memories made her sound? Elegant and soft but queenly all the same? Or… Was that how he wanted her to sound?

Lucius no longer knew such details but he did know what she had done with that sacred command.

“...You are not allowed to die until you have been given my permission!”

It had been his doom, in the end.




He always awoke after hearing her. As if he needed to be reminded what the light had felt like. For Lucius had not seen the sun in such a long time. Not here, not in this place. Brimstone and rust were his constant companions now, while the abyss reigned overhead across an ocean of suffering. Pocketed with bubbling hellish pits and poisonous belching geysers, the waters were dark and forlorn. Rippling and tumultuous. Bleached bones of creatures that had never walked above littered the seafloor like a watery grave, reflecting the macabre glow of the pits like visages of the damned and drowned.

Lucius glowered as he sat up, chains jostling. He shifted slightly and leaned up against his rock with a sigh. His rock was nothing more than a platform of obsidian, whose edges were licked with the vile waters. At the center rested a raised rock that came up to his waist if he stood. That was where his chains were embedded. It was, of course, his own personal hell. Someone or something had known his lifelong fear of water and they had sculpted this watery twilight world just for him.

He felt so special.

A woman screamed in the far distance but Lucius had stopped caring a long time ago and it only registered to him as background noise now. He had tried the first dozen or so times to break free from his chains to help but the iron was thick. Eventually he came to the conclusion that it was just a part of the torment. Just as his throat was parched and he could not reach the water. His stomach growled but there was no sustenance. Lucius couldn’t even use his magic anymore. On and on he could go, listing off each agony. But he seldom did that anymore. His life, if one could call his imprisonment, life, had become monotonous. The boredom had truly been what had made him crack.

“Come now,” he said, “It wasn’t the boredom that made you crack.”

Lucius turned to see himself, balancing precariously at the edge of the rock. This Lucius visited him every day, or at least the times when he was conscious. He wore an old dark robe, his hair cropped short. The man was gaunt with ashen scarred skin, but then again, everything looked ashen in the glow of his prison. His eyes were the only true difference- just dark pits. No pupils, no iris- just black. So Lucius had begun to call him, Dark Lucius, as he couldn’t really be bothered to come up with anything else. Dark Lucius turned his head to Lucius, arms outstretched as the waves lapped at his feet.

“You cracked at the ball, don’t you remember?” Dark Lucius smiled, showing sharpened teeth. “Well. technically, you began to crack a few days before that but once it started…” Dark Lucius shrugged.

“Yes, I cracked and now I get the absolute privilege of your company.” Lucius snorted. “I should be so flattered.”

“You should be. Better me than the other on-” Before he could finish, Dark Lucius was interrupted by his voice, coming from behind the rock.

“Not so fast!” Lucius and Dark Lucius turned to look at the newcomer, who was walking around to face them. It was, of course, Lucius. But this Lucius was the opposite of the dark counterpart. His dark hair was long and impeccably lustrous. He wore very fine white robes, a tailored fit and embellished with golden threads. His eyes glowed with a white light. The same white light he dreamed of. Thus, this Lucius was deemed Light Lucius. Which Lucius also couldn’t be bothered to give a fitting name.

Dark Lucius sighed.

“Do not let this one worm his way into your mind Lucius.” Light Lucius said, coming to a stop three full arms lengths from Lucius.

“Your conscience has arrived Lucius, we should be so relieved.” Dark Lucius’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“If you are implying that I am a voice of reason, then yes, I am his conscience. Thank you very much.” Light Lucius retorted.

“Can we not have a hissy fit, gentleman?” Lucius asked. “If I am to be saddled with your company day after day, I would at least ask you to consider some days as moments of respite.”

“What, your singular dream doesn’t give you respite from this dreadfully wet world?” Dark Lucius inquired, hand upon his chin as he smirked.

“I, of course, am open to that suggestion Lucius.” Light Lucius said, “But if he doesn’t act in good faith, I am obliged to react to his heinous speech, you understand.”

“Oh, I understand.” Lucius said, stretching out his legs. “We wouldn’t want one to speak without the other chiming in something introspective and helpful, now would we?”

“Right you are.” Light Lucius beamed.

“He’s being sarcastic, you dolt.” Dark Lucius laughed.

Light Lucius gave Lucius an incredulous look.

Lucius sighed. “Can we at least have a pleasant conversation today? I’d rather it didn’t devolve into a shouting match, again.”

The two looked at each other, then back at Lucius, then back at each other, and shrugged.

“Well, I guess?” Light Lucius said after a moment of silence.

“Whatever you want, I exist to serve you, Lucius.” Dark Lucius gave a flourishing bow.

“Perhaps we could even see how long we can go without uttering a single word.” Lucius asked, eyeing them both hopefully.

Before Light Lucius could even speak, Dark Lucius smiled and said, “Let’s talk about Mozu.”

Lucius frowned. “Who?”

“Come now, you remember Mozu. Brown fur, waggling tail, big ears?” Dark Lucius crouched down at the water’s edge. “The girl who liked you? The one you liked back?”

“He never liked the werewolf.” Light Lucius stated.

“Didn’t he?” Dark Lucius asked and they both looked at him. Lucius remembered Mozu, at least, he thought he did. She had followed him like a lost pup, or maybe that was because she was basically a dog to begin with? Why did she like him again, wasn’t it because she thought he smelled good?

“Maybe at one point I did. Did we ever talk after that argument of ours?” Lucius asked.

Dark Lucius shrugged. Light Lucius shrugged.

“She was not of the light, Lucius. It would not have worked out in the end.” Light Lucius said softly.

“They could have lived in Linore,which was, what did they call it? A border town?” Dark Lucius tapped the side of his head. “No, a neutral town! Where dark and light lived in harmony. Then again, you probably would have betrayed her.”

That word, betrayed, sent a jolt through Lucius. He grit his teeth. “I wouldn’t have! If I had just been able to explain myself-”

“She would have bitten you.” Light Lucius butt in. “You would have become a child of darkness, Lucius. Is that what you wanted?”

Lucius grit his teeth. “What I want or wanted no longer matters.” Lucius snapped. “I would not have betrayed her and she would not have bitten me.”

“So you did like her?” Dark Lucius asked.

“I… I don’t know.” Lucius said after a moment. She had helped him, hadn’t she? After the fight… Lucius shut his eyes as the memories flashed. The undead. A demon prince. A sword that whispered sweetly. The light… The angel, his princess… She had used her body as a shield to protect their mortal enemy. Then the beast came and… blood and pain.

“You’re thinking of the angel.” Dark Lucius whispered, “Not the poor pup who warmed you. Or the girl who showed you Linore. I guess that means…” His dark counterpart trailed off.

Lucius looked at him, crossing his arms. “I liked her at the time. She was a brief escape.” he said matter of factly.

“So cold, Lucius.” Dark Lucius smiled.

“She wanted from him a promise none could seldom keep, not even mentioning she had only entered his life for a few days.” Light Lucius said, leaning against the rock to the side of Lucius. “And when you spoke of this, what did she do? She assumed you would betray her. That leap in logic was astounding. Honestly Lucius, you were better off without her.”

Lucius slowly turned to look at Light Lucius. His light counterpart had a stoic look on his face and Lucius knew he said such things not out of malevolence but logic. That should have disgusted Lucius but his heart had long grown cold. Still, there was a tiny part of him that could not help but defend Mozu.

“She had her reasons, I’m sure,” he said after a moment. “I would have liked to clear things up but that didn’t happen, did it?”

Both of them shrugged.

“Both of you are truly wonderful to talk to, you know.” Lucius began, shifting to a more comfortable position on the hard cold rock. “You’d think Light Lucius would be hopeful and pragmatic about my decisions, while Dark Lucius would be the one to play the devil’s advocate but it seems I’ve been thrown into a wolf's den. One smiles as it gnaws into me and the other patiently performs a dictation as it sharpens its claws. I’ll let you decide who’s who.”

“Now hold on Lucius.” Light Lucius said as Dark Lucius began to laugh.

Lucius silenced Light Lucius with a stern look. His counterpart grimaced and sighed through his nose.

“We’ve talked about Octavia far too much to get any meat out of you.” Dark Lucius said while pacing back and forth, hands behind his back. “I guess you could say we’ve feasted all we can there. We know you liked her the moment you spotted her in that forest. And we know you always thought you would never be good enough for her. So when that darkling prince arrived and she quite literally threw herself upon him…” he paused, “Well, that was when you truly began to see things in a darker light, wasn't it? But again, we’ve hit bone with this topic so how about…” he paused, turned to Lucius and smiled, “Orion?”

“No.” Lucius said. “I refuse to talk about him, you know this and yet you still persist. You’re always bringing up Octavia, is this just another way to pry the bone apart and get at the marrow then?”

Dark Lucius gave an infuriating shrug. “I’m sure they lived happily ever after, the princess and the prince. Reuniting the realms, ending the war, yadda, yadda. We can only speculate anymore.” he came to a crouch just out of range of Lucius, “But Orion… Your family… Excuse this wolf’s appetite but there’s a lot of meat there.”

“Meat you cannot have.” Lucius spat.

“Why not?”

“Because he’s afraid.” Light Lucius said in a quiet voice. “He’s afraid of feeling.”

Lucius snapped his head at Light Lucius, who was now just outside of his reach as well. “Insufferable cowards!” he spat. “You think me afraid of talking about my family? About my brother? When day after day you remind me of my failings enough as it is! I will not let you haunt me with new subject matter. My family is my own and I shall hold them precious in my heart, away from your scrutiny!”

“You can’t remember them, can you?” Light Lucius asked, his face of deep sadness.

Lucius snarled and rose. “Of course I can!” And so he thought and thought but Lucius could not remember their faces. He knew they existed, didn’t he? But he could only vaguely recall his mother’s smile, his father’s deep belly laugh, his baby sister’s delight at the pond frogs as they hopped and croaked while she attempted to catch them and his brother’s wide eyed admiration for him. These were all fleeting whispers, rushing through his fingers as he grasped for them. But always escaping into oblivion.

“...Done it again.” Dark Lucius said. “You can’t spring that on him without this sort of reaction. Now he’ll shut down and have an existential crisis.”

“I only want to help him, unlike you.”

They kept on talking to one another, but Lucius only half listened. He was on a boat in the middle of an empty ocean and the worst part was, the boat was in his head.

“How long have I been here?” Lucius asked, a feeling of deja vu overcoming him. He looked at the two, they had grown silent, and he asked again, “How long have I been here?”

“Hard to tell.” Dark Lucius said.

“A long time.” Light Lucius said.

Lucius slumped back against his rock and slid down. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a long sigh that turned to tears. “This is her fault, isn’t it?”

“Technically yes but also no.” Dark Lucius chimed. “Only one could be found at fault here.”

“Lucius, Octavia did not know what she was doing when she spoke her order. Her mere station as an angel, as the royal princess, made them binding. That said, I don’t believe there was any malevolence in it. She did what she thought best for you, whether that was her right to do so, can be debated.”

Lucius felt the bitter laugh escape his lips before he had sense enough to hold it in as he remembered. “She thought I hated her.”

“You don’t?”

Lucius gave a sharp glance to Dark Lucius. “I thought this bone had been gnawed.”

Dark Lucius gave an infuriating smirk. “Forgive a fellow for caring.”

“Bah! You don’t care. You never have and never will.” Lucius folded his arms across his chest. Lucius knew he shouldn’t play their games. He should just keep his mouth shut and lock away his thoughts for none but himself. But that was the problem wasn’t it? They were him. So Lucius couldn’t help himself and said, “How could I hate someone I had only known for such a brief time? I overreacted of course, for a man in my station and my age. I thought myself disposable and she did not.” He took a ragged breath. “Try as I might, every time it emerges in my memory, I cannot fathom why. Why did she protect the prince? He attacked the capital did he not? She was in his clutches, was she not? And yet…”

“You were very dramatic.” Dark Lucius said after the silence had stretched. “You killed me? I mean, come on, why did you say that?”

“It was the shock of it, I imagine.” Light Lucius said, hands behind his back. “Her innocence in the face of danger became a detriment.”

“Ah, now that makes sense. Weaponized innocence. An infuriating gullibility. A fatalism. You heard what she said, the demon prince brought her to a healer. The skeleton was only restraining her. Very convenient for the Prince, don’t you think?”

“What’s the grand point you’re trying to make? That Octavia was stupid? Well, she wasn’t. Her innocence was born of her idealism. She believed in the innate good in all, dark and light. If that constitutes a crime, then it is not she who failed but the rest of the world. She was too good for it. But I digress.” Lucius yawned. “I’m growing quite bored of this talk. What happened happened. There is no changing it now. No reason to reminisce.”

Dark Lucius studied him for a moment and rose. He brought his hands together, fingers touching as he smiled with that sick smugness. He opened his mouth.

“Don’t.” Light Lucius begged, moving closer to his opposite.

“The point, my dear Lucius, is that this was the inevitable conclusion of your foray between such powers. After all, you. Are. Only. Human.” He emphasized every word, his smile now showing teeth. Light Lucius looked appalled and his fists clenched.

“There it is.” Lucius whispered. “The crescendo.”

It was the greatest truth in his life. He was only human in a world of angels and demons. Despite his innate magical ability and despite his love of the light, he was mortal. Doomed to die. Not that he feared old age and death but Lucius had quickly realized he could have stopped so many battles, helped so many more people, saved those from despair- if only he had been more. He could have trounced those who had kidnapped Octavia and gotten out of there unscathed. Maybe then she would have…

No.

That was a future long past. Still, it begged the question…

“Did I die for my heart? This human heart?”

“You did not.” Light Lucius said. “Nor were you at peace. The phantom’s words brought you no salvation. I am sorry.”

“How did I die then?”

“Your contemplation at the ball drove you to rashness. Your heart festered with hate, pain and sadness. These emotions poisoned your reason and…” Light Lucius dipped his head low but said no more. Lucius looked to Dark Lucius, for once his expression was somber.

Dark Lucius then added, “You failed to obey the princesses orders when you…” he seemed to choose his words carefully, “...When you passed. Thus, you were stripped of your title, banished from the light as a traitor and imprisoned here.”

“Oh.” Was all Lucius could muster.

“That’s the problem with curses, oaths, commands, you name it. Once you fail, there’s always consequences." Dark Lucius whistled. “But of course, Octavia didn't know what she was doing, right?”

“She only wanted me to be happy.” Lucius said after a moment of silence.

“Yes.” Light Lucius affirmed.

Dark Lucius came closer to him and knelt with slow, practiced ease. “You were never going to be happy.”

“Quiet.” Light Lucius snapped his fingers. Lucius just stared at his darker counterpart.

“You would not have found true love, nor the peace that accompanied it. And do you know why, Lucius?”

Lucius could only nod in his shame.

“Good.” Dark Lucius sighed, slapping his thighs as he stood up. “Being a human living in a world with angelic saints and demonic sinners, tainted by a lust for power, would have brought you here time and time again. That’s the problem with humanity, you’re greedy for more. Just a little more power, isn’t that right Lucius? What would you have done with a little more power besides fucking something else up and wanting more to fix the newest blunder?” he sneered. “It’s good you can’t remember anything more about your family, they’d be ashamed of you.”

There was a long moment of silence between them, the only sounds being the woman and her distant screams, the gurgling of the water and a drip, drip, drip. He looked to Light Lucius but the man looked away. His eyes glanced at Dark Lucius but there was only a wolfish grin. So Lucius shut his eyes, trying to banish the dripping but it only made it louder. How could silence be so loud?

“Yes!” Lucius blurted at last, speaking to fill the silence. “They would be.”

There came no answer and he opened his eyes to find his rock empty. Light Lucius and Dark Lucius were gone. He was alone.

He had always been alone though, right?

’Yes’ both voices whispered in his mind like serpents hissing. They only knew what he knew. They remembered more of him because they were him. Two parts, two pasts, one present. There would be no future for him. This Lucius accepted. For his story had never been a happy tale. Tears came unbidden, running down his cheeks like rivulets.

“I’m sorry.” He wept to no one and nothing. There was no answer.

This went on for a time before his eyes grew heavy with numbing fatigue. His last thoughts before unconsciousness were simple, for despite it all and despite the same, he was only human and human just wasn’t good enough. He could hear Dark Lucius’ laughter and Light Lucius weeping, somewhere far away. His light counterpart seemed to say, ‘so close, so damn close.’

He slept and he dreamed.

And he heard her voice.

"Lucius, my Knight of Angels, my final order to you is this…”






The Queen's purr resonated deeply within her chest. A sister kneaded into the Queen's back, the massage sending her into a deep state of relaxation. One of her brothers, a large gangly fellow with dirty fur, brought a small mouse in supplication and dropped it before her. The Queen gave a small meow of recognition before she gobbled it up in a few bites. Once done, she shut her eyes and dozed contently under the warm sun. The wind ruffled her fur but it was pleasantly mild, otherwise she would have had the gangly brother block it for her. Life had just been good.

She had siblings who fawned over her, fed her, kept her warm when cold, and on and on. Her domain was bountiful and yielded much, so that she and her siblings were lacking for want. Indeed, even other creatures had seen the majesty of her being and brought tribute. Usually with their own lives but it was still tribute.

The only problem she had had of late, was her mother. Her mother, who had given birth to such a beautiful Queen, such as she, was not so charmed by her benevolence. Perhaps it was because she had held authority for so long. Perhaps it was because she was a dowager. No, no, that was a bit rude. She wasn’t that old, and she had given such warm milk. The Queen had realized upon one sunny day, when her mother had cornered her and began grooming her in a display of dominance (which was quite normal for her kind and mildly annoying if anything), that if she herself was a Queen now, then that meant, at one point in time, her mother must have been a queen as well. And it all clicked into place. No wonder her mother acted in such ways!

So the Queen was learning to deal with it. After all, her mother was still her mother. Loving and annoying, wrapped in one. So the Queen reflected and she slept as her sibling purred and the sun shown. Life had never been better, in fact. But then came a day where the world was flipped upside down.




It happened like this, the small cat had been taking a good nap, recently fed and massaged and when she woke, she had a good stretch and a yawn. She licked her leg furiously for no real reason and then looked around.

Where was everybody? There was always at least one of her siblings about the family den, either napping or waiting on their Queen, which was her. But now… She spun around and didn’t see anyone. She sniffed the air and the scents she had grown so familiar with, were still there and so she decided to follow the strongest of them- mother. It led her to the entrance of the den and out into the well worn path. The grasses were tall and she couldn’t really see anything so the Queen decided to get to high ground.

She had a strange feeling wash over her and a flash of a memory she couldn’t quite place; a tall burnt tree with the perfect vantage but she blinked and only saw the hill that the den was under.
She climbed it, and then her favorite rock and sat on her haunches to look around. It was windy and the clouds were dark overhead. Still, she didn’t see any of her family. Just some birds, the swaying green grasses, of which were turning browner by the day, and some large four legged things that were too fast to hunt.

She called out a few times but received no answer. Surely they hadn’t left her, right? They wouldn’t do that to her. They were her subjects! They were her family! She let out a small hiss of frustration. If they didn’t come back, who was going to hunt for her? Who was going to massage her? Who was going to groom her? Would she have to do those things… Herself?

It began to drizzle and the Queen curled tight into a ball, contemplating her future.

And one thing was certain; she was on her own for now.

Winter





She stoked the fire as the wind howled outside. The dim embers lit the face of Toffee and Tad in a red light that made their shadows long. It had been weeks since mother had gone and the grip of winter had set in, preventing them from searching further and further away from this place they slept in. It no longer felt like home, after all. The cold was something else entirely. They had to stay inside most of the days, only leaving for essentials. This would not have been a problem for they were family but with mother gone, there was a heaviness in the air. Things had not been the same since those first few days of searching. It was boredom, through and through and she could tell anger was growing. But not why. So it was like that, for weeks, as the air became more and more tense.

Silence reigned and it ate at Teefee.

Perhaps the worst gut punch of all- Teefee could not find her mother in the land of dreams. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how many dream guides she asked, there was nothing. And this could only mean one of two things- either their mother was dead or she had yet to go to sleep. Both were equally terrifying to grasp. What haunted Teefee more was that she felt like a failure because she couldn’t figure it out. Mother had to be sleeping at some point, why couldn’t she find her? Teefee refused to believe she was dead, though it gnawed at her deep in the pit with all her other failures and insecurities. She had let her siblings down in the end. And now there was no more happiness in them, in her.

Had she made a mistake? This thought had always been there, suppressed by a reality she deemed acceptable but now it emerged from the surface of her mind like some foul creature from a swamp. No, no, she had to tell herself that there was no mistake. They would not have been happy, in the end. Right?

This rampant spiralling thought was interrupted by Toffee, who said, “We should leave when spring comes.”

Teefee’s eyes went wide. “No.” she replied quickly. “We can’t leave. What if mother returns and we aren’t here? She will be worried about us.”

“Teefee,” Toffee rubbed the bridge of her nose, in a display reminiscent of their mother, “She wouldn’t want us to stay here another season, not when it gets warm enough to travel. She wanted us to find other people and not be secluded like this. As the oldest one here, it’s my responsibility to look after you two.”

“Are we really bringing age into this?” Tad murmured. “Barely a few minutes older and you think you’re in charge?”

Toffee glared at Tad but their brother only had eyes for the fire.

“And do you think you should be in charge?” Toffee asked.

Tad shrugged. “We may have had a chieftess but I think I’m just as capable as any woman when it comes to being in charge.”

Toffee laughed darkly. Teefee opened her mouth to speak but her sister beat her, “That’s rich coming from a ‘man’ who only mopes around. I don’t see you taking any sort of charge.”

Tad snapped his head to look at Toffee and narrowed his eyes. The air in the wikiup suddenly became hostile. “Low blow sister.” he hissed through his teeth. “At least I’m not bossing everyone around. At least I’m not pretending to be something I’m not.”

“Oh and what am I pretending to be?” Toffee growled.

“Mother.”

There was a moment of silence before Toffee lashed out at Tad with a fist. He leaned back just enough that her arm went sailing in front of his eyes before he tackled her and they began to roll next to the fire, shouting and yelling about nonsense as they vied for leverage.

Teefee’s eyes, still wide, became teary. Is this what she had wanted? For them to fight? For them to be miserable? Why couldn’t they just get along? She was paralyzed to action as her mind raced. They had been at each other’s throats ever since mother had vanished and she just couldn’t understand why. They had gotten so close when… when… Sirele and Jiva had been around. Laughing and talking, for once there was an interest they both shared.

Her hands went to either side of her head, her ears pressed close to her hair. Eyes tightly shut. Why was it getting harder to breathe?

She could see them with large smiles and hazy expressions, lost in blissful thought. Then she saw herself and she knew she should not have felt as she had but the dream! Abandoned. Alone. Oblivion…. She needed to keep them safe. She needed to keep them by her side. That was the only way. The only-

“It was me!” she burst- unable to hold her crime in any longer. The weight of it all had become too much at that moment. She was a beaver dam that needed to break.

Except Tad and Toffee were still fighting. Toffee now perched on her brother’s chest, holding the cuff of his furs and thrashing him as she screamed about responsibility. It would have been comical if not for the fact that she was serious.

Teefee got up, walked over and shoved Toffee off of Tad. With a resounding oof, Toffee rolled over to her back and stared up at the ceiling. Both of her siblings breathed hard, their faces red and sweaty. Both had small cuts and bruises, at least they knew better than to seriously harm each other. But Teefee could no longer risk the notion that they wouldn’t come to more extreme blows, not with Toffee’s anger.

She took a shaky breath and tried to calm her nerves but it was pointless. Her knees buckled and she fell on them. “I-I-I have to tell you something.” Teefee began to sob.

“Teefee?” Both Tad and Toffee said at the same time as they got to their knees and came over to her.

“I’m sorry Teefee, I shouldn’t have said what I said.” Toffee muttered.

“We shouldn’t have fought.” Tad agreed. “And I shouldn’t have said things either.”

Teefee shook her head, tears flying everywhere. “You don’t understand. I d-did this!” she cried, a deep sob wracked her chest as she tried to breath. Both Tad and Toffee placed a hand on her back and rubbed, a gesture she did not deserve.

“What are you talking about, Teefs?” Tad asked. She looked up at him and saw his worried face and her heart broke a little more.

“I didn’t want to be alone. I-I saw how you looked at them- I saw what was happening. You always think I’m oblivious, that I don’t see what others see but you’re wrong.” she sniffled. Looks of confusion plastered her sibling’s faces but neither said anything. “I asked them, you know, how old they were because I was curious. And do you know what they said? Sirele put it in simple terms. They had been born so long ago that their friends were now elders and that they had stopped aging. That they wouldn’t become elders for centuries to come. Do you know what a century is? It’s a very long time.”

“What are you talking about?” Tad asked, his voice no longer so soft. She looked him straight in the eyes.

“They were blessed with long life, Tad. By Saries. We will be dead long before they ever even dream of dying.”

“So what’s that have to do with anything?” Tad asked, removing his hand from her back and crossing them against his chest. “I don’t understand.”

“What did you do, Teefee?” Toffee’s voice was sharp and when she looked at her sister, she saw not just anger but fear. Toffee then grabbed her by the shoulders and asked again, ‘What did you do?”

“I-I,” Teefee stammered. “I asked their dream guides to remind them of their family and home, of old age. Anything to stop them from dreaming about you two.” Oh by the ancestors, she had said it. It had come so easily, that ruination of her own doing.

There was stunned silence. Toffee eye’s looked right through Teefee and Tad, poor Tad looked as if he was just now understanding what was going on.

“I’m sorry!” Teefee followed up and then quickly added, “I-I didn’t want them to take you away, I didn’t want you to be sad when you grew older and they did not. But then you guys seemed so sad and then mom vanished and if she hadn’t… Maybe she’d still be here if… if…” she sniffled again and fresh tears fell down her space. Tad got up and backed away, looking at her in shock.

Toffee began to squeeze her shoulders and Teefee squirmed. “How could you!” Toffee screamed at her. “How dare you make that decision for me! How could you be so selfish!” she shook her and then let go, a mix of disgust and rage across her face.

“T-Toffee!” Teefee gasped, as her sister began to frantically gather up her furs and spear before she made her way to the Wikiup’s flap. “Please! I’m sorry! I know it was selfish! I know it was stupid! B-But I can’t lose you!” she cried, scrambling to her feet.

Toffee marched outside into the wind and snow. The cold bit at Teefee as she followed. “Where are you going!” She yelled at Toffee.

Toffee spun, her expression had gone dark and her fists were balled. She jabbed a finger into Teefee’s chest a moment later. “Anywhere but here! I can’t stand to look at you right now.”

Teefee felt as if she had been punched in the gut. “Toffee.” she whimpered, pleading. “Don’t leave. Please.”

Her sister squeezed her eyes shut, warring within herself. Before she snapped them open and said. “It’s one thing to protect your siblings, Teefee. It’s another to dictate their lives and steal from them choices.” She began to shake her head. “Mother would be ashamed of you.” She then turned and walked off into the snow. Teefee stood there before another figure brushed past her, a pack on his shoulder. He didn’t even look at her.

“Tad…” She said, “Please stay with me.”

He hesitated and turned. His eyes did not meet hers before he shook his head in somber reflection, turned and walked away, down a different path than Toffee.

Teefee no longer felt cold. She was numb as she made her way back into her tent. She collapsed next to the fire and curled into a ball.

Her nightmare had come true.



Elsewhere in the forest, a hotblooded young woman wasn’t bothered by the cold as she marched away from all she had known. She was only doing so because she didn’t trust herself around Teefee without causing her harm. This was the only way to cool off. Yet, it wasn’t long before the snow was tinged with red, like a bloody haze. Her heartbeat quickened but strangely, she was not afraid.

A new witch was born.




Elsewhere in the forest, a man whose heart had been broken enough had finally decided to leave it all behind. The cold was nothing that he couldn’t handle. In fact, it made him feel more alive than he had felt in weeks. So he turned off his thoughts and let the wind guide him to wherever it blew.


Fall





“You have that look in your eyes again.” Toffee murmured.

Her brother blinked away his distant stare and looked at her with a growing annoyance. “So do you.” he finally said and looked back up the well worn path.

The wind sent a shiver down her spine as it blew. Leaves drifted down from the branches in yellows, reds and browns. She looked up and was able to see the sky through the trees. Something she had not been able to do a few weeks ago.

She finally sighed and clung to her bundle of sticks a little harder. “We all miss them but they had to go. A great spirit cannot stay in one place for so long. It makes them restless.”

“What about Jiva and Sirele then?” Tad muttered.

She felt her face scrunch. Toffee knew this was what Tad was thinking about because her own thoughts often drifted to Jiva’s carefree smile. The way his eyes glittered. The perfection of his skin. How he made her fe- Ugh. She rolled her eyes and quickened her pace.

“What about them?” she snapped, before sighing again and reigning in her voice. “They had to go too. You know what Saries is like. It needed them as much as they needed it.”

Tad was silent for a long time before he said, “I know.” And that was that. Tad slipped back into his forlorn expression. Like the joy had been sucked from his soul. All because of Sirele. The wind whipped at her hair again, bringing with it a smell that reminded her of Jiva. She cursed mentally. Would he ever leave her mind?

The great spirit and its companions had left them weeks ago, after continually expanding their initial request. Spring had turned to summer and then into fall, novel concepts that Saries and the twins had taught them. The world had changed in so little time. Now the world grew cooler and things stopped growing. They had warned them about the fourth season. Something that none had really seen.

A bitter cold, far worse than the current nip. Life, for all intents and purposes, was dormant or dead and it would not rebound until spring came again. The twins taught them what they knew but sadly it wasn’t much. The great spirit, in the meantime, had grown more and more antsy. That led them to now. Gathering wood for fire. Mother and Teefee were busy knapping stone axes for them to use, so that left Tad and herself on the monotonous task of just picking up dead wood. They had a considerable stock pile saved up by now at least and as they entered the clearing, they could see it amidst the gathering leaves.

They had set up the wood in long rows, stalked up to her waist as a sort of wind block. It helped at night. Their tent had gotten larger too, now more akin to something called a wickiup. Large and dome shaped with constant smoke from the top billowing out. They had made this place their home on the suggestion of the twins. Not half a day's walk to the plains so it wasn’t entirely unfamiliar but the small forest around them provided additional shelter and a flowing creek not far that led to a lake. Mother was happy with the place at least.

Toffee placed her wood on the row nearest to the wickiup and so did Tad. They both entered their home and the wave of warmth felt wonderful on Toffee’s prickling skin. The dim light of the wikiup revealed Teefee humming a tune and their mother drying some cuts of meat. That was the other priority the twins had given them. They needed enough food to last them through the cold. So far they had gathered berries, nuts, seeds, roots and herbs. They had learned how to fish and the game in this land was abundant. It was with a great amount of consternation that the great spirit was against death but Saries was willing to tolerate it due to their unique circumstances.

Being a mix of animal and human seemed to pay off in this regard, at least.

“Welcome back children.” Their mother smiled warmly. “I trust the journey was not too difficult?”

Tad went to his fur bed and sat down, muttering about the cold. Ina frowned as she looked at her son and then she turned to Toffee with questioning eyes.

“It was fine, mother.” Toffee said as she sat down next to the fire. “The wind is sharp and the leaves fall. I cannot remember what the sun looks like. It’s been so cloudy of late.”

Ina hummed affirmatively.

Teefee came over to Toffee and presented to her a stone axe. The head was made from a fine smooth tan chert, woven tightly with leather straps around a dark wooden handle.

Toffee took it and felt the weight of it. “Teefs! This is your finest work yet.” she beamed. Teefee smiled ear to ear in response.

“I think so too! I’ve never seen such nice rock and it was easy to knap and mold.”

Toffee stood and swung it around. It was nice and balanced, somehow.

“Mother is still working on Tad’s and I’m making some more arrowheads for you too.” Teefee said, hands on her hips.

Toffee smirked and put the axe down before pulling Teefee into a hug. “Thank you, sister. Trees will now fear me!”

Teefee laughed and the day wove into night with pleasant chatter around the fire. Even Tad found himself smiling from time to time. Toffee enjoyed herself and it actually felt like the times before the sun. Back when things were easier. She stared into the fire and before long she heard her mother’s voice call to her.

“Toffeen. We should talk.”

Toffee blinked and looked across the dying flames to where her mother held a somber expression. It seemed she had missed that both Tad and Teefee had fallen asleep. She tilted her head slightly and looked at her mother. “About?”

Ina sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I cannot bear to see you and Tad with heart’s so bleak.”

Toffee breathed in through her nose. She didn’t really want to have this conversation but she couldn’t see a way out of it, so she picked up a stick and began to play with the coals. “Is that so?” she said after a moment.

“You often think I don’t have eyes, Toffee but I have watched you like a hawk since the time you could crawl. Don’t even get me started about when you began to walk.” She smirked, her gaze now held by the fire. “You liked Jiva and Tad liked Sirele. I am sorry things did not work out.”

Toffee snapped her head at their mother but she was still looking at the fire. “I didn’t like him.” She lied but knew it was pointless to lie to her mother. So she sighed and deflated a little.

“I wanted you to go with them, you know. I could see something there, a spark of what could be. I’m not sure what I would have done with Teefee though. So I am both grateful and saddened. I refuse to watch my children grow old and not know what love is. So before they left, I asked the great spirit where we should go to find civilization. They told me of a place located within a valley and of a place near a great mountain that spits fire. If these seasons had not arrived, we would still be on our way.” Ina said, now looking at Toffee.

Toffee perked up at the mention of these places and her heart felt heavy at what her mother decreed. She gulped. “You would have let us go?” Was the only question that came from her lips.

Ina nodded. “Of course. It would be selfish of me to deny your own journey. I have always wanted you, Tad and Teefee to be happy.” she smiled whimsically and quickly added, “I have also wanted grandbabies for some time now, too.”

Toffee felt her cheeks flush and she scowled at her mother.

“Relax, my heart, you will understand one day.” her mother chuckled. “Now get some sleep. I need you three to go on a hunt tomorrow.”
Toffee, thankful to stop talking, nodded and got under her furs. She shut her eyes in a heartbeat but also said, “Thank you mom. I love you.”

“I love you too.”




With the children out on their hunt, Ina was tidying up the wickiup and after some time she grew thirsty. She checked her waterskin but found it empty. It looked like she would have to go down to the creek. With a grumble about chores not being done, she put on her warmest furs and trekked outside. The path to water was well worn by now and easy to follow. It wound through the trees and Ina marveled at the colors, the smells and the temperature. Her children were young and could only remember life in the hillsgrass lands but her memory went deeper.

Before, in the times when the land was ablaze, where the night and stars held dominion, where colors were dulled grays and bleak browns. Those days she did not wish upon any. So the cold would not bother her, nor would the arrival of winter- it was just what it would do to her children that worried her so. She had truly wanted them to find happiness with Jiva and Sirele, even the great spirit. But Teefee proved to be a problem she could not quite grasp. She walked over a fallen tree as she thought, they’d have to move that eventually- but Teefee.

She was a flower in a world of thorns. That wasn’t bad. One needed flowers to appreciate all that there was in the world. But she worried most for her youngest. The great spirit, Sirna, had given her a strange gift that none could really fathom. She feared it would lead her down a path that went against the ancestors. She had not yet voiced these concerns with Teefee, for the girl had a talent for being disarming and talking your ear off about everything. But Ina had seen something in her daughter’s face when Jiva and Sirele had been spending time with her siblings. A look of worry, marred by jealousy. She had not asked Teefee about it because she knew the girl would never harm a soul. But perhaps… Perhaps a conversation was warranted? Ina sighed and knew she should have talked to Teefee weeks ago.

The path grew wider and at a certain point she felt an odd sensation before it flew away. Her thoughts were so wrapped up in what to do about Teefee, who she was beginning to suspect would not be able to find someone to love like Tad and Toffee, when Ina realized the path was… Wrong.

It was far too wide and when had it gotten so dim? The wind no longer was blowing as hard and a new, strange smell wafted past her. She could hear faint laughing and other odd noises but strangely, she did not feel so panicked at this. Instead, curiosity overtook her and she walked around a bend, the trees suddenly too thick to peer between and found herself before a festive atmosphere. Yelling and shouting, laughing and signing, smoke and cooking food- and she wasn’t alone on the path anymore.

She noticed out of the corner of her eye before turning to see another woman, her hair pale blonde upon even paler skin and behind her a younger looking man with auburn hair. They looked just as perplexed as her. Then she heard a loud gasp and spun in the opposite direction to see a small boy. He couldn’t be any older than five years. He wore strange clothes and his skin was darker than any she had seen before, with jet black hair. He was looking with excitement towards what lay before them. Ina looked around to see if the boy had any parents but it looked as if he was alone.

She pursed her lips, wondering how she would have felt if her own children had been in a strange place with strangers- no one friendly to help them. Her own children, of course, she needed to go find them but… the boy looked up at her with big brown eyes. She smiled and he smiled back. She reached out her hand to him and he took it.

Her kids would understand. She just had to figure out what was going on here, find this boy’s parents and then she’d leave.

Yes, then she’d leave.




Teefee playfully shoved Tad as he moped. “Just because you missed the shot, doesn’t mean you’ll miss the next one Tad.”

He grimaced and barely made an effort to push her back.

Teefee pouted and began to sulk before she spotted Toffee just ahead, minding her own business as usual. Teefee’s pout turned into a grin as she hopped forward and then leapt at Toffee, grabbing her from behind and rubbing the side of Toffee’s face with her own.

“Teefee!” Toffee groaned before shoving her away.

“Ugh!” Teefee began to pout again, “You two are no fun today.”

She huffed and crossed her arms before falling in between the two.

Toffee just sighed. “Teefee. We are coming home empty handed. We’ve been out all morning. How are you not tired?”

She shrugged.

“She’s not tired,” Tad began, “Because she’s the only one who got to take a nap today.”

Teefee smirked and stretched her arms high. “There was no prey, so I napped.”

“Of course you did, Teefs.” Toffee said, shaking her head. But the smile on her sister’s face gave away that she thought it was funny.

They made their way back to the wickiup and it was Toffee who slowed slightly. “No smoke?” she said and then jogged to the entrance. Teefee cocked her head and looked at Tad, whose expression had changed from his usual mopiness to one of alertness.

Teefee felt it too. Something was wrong.

Toffee entered first, Tad followed her and then Teefee. The dim light of the wickiup revealed a suffocating silence. Mother was gone.

“The coals are cold.” Toffee said, rushing up from the fire and past them, back out of the wickiup.

She began to shout for her. Teefee could only let her eyes look around the familiar surroundings before it really sank in. She turned to Tad, who seemed to be just as confused.

“Come on!.” She pulled him by the hand and out into the cool air.

They would search for a week but Ina had vanished into thin air.

Sick





Toffee screamed. She lurched up, only to be smothered by blackness. Everything was dark, so dark!

“Toffee!” A voice called out to her and before she knew it, strong arms held her tight. A hiss escaped her throat and she failed, afraid it was some other nightmare come to get her.

“Toffee stop! It’s me! It’s Tad!” her brother begged.

“Tad?” Toffee blurted before calming. What was- her memories began to flood back to her. They were underneath the furs, that’s why it was black and suffocating. Did that mean she was awake? But…

“Is Teefee awake?” she asked. She felt her brother let go of her and they both removed the furs that covered them.

Tad was silent as the world came into view. Night had fallen but it was not as dark as before the coming of the light. More alarming was that there was now a giant looming violet orb and it did little to ease the anxiety blooming in her chest.

“Mother! Teefee!” She said, whipping off the furs. A cloud of pollen rose into the air and she sneezed a few times but she found them. Mother was just waking up and Teefee stared at her with those big blue eyes of hers, a mischievous glint to them.

“You were in my dream!” Toffee accused with a finger.

“Nu uh.” Teefee chimed back, the grin on her face widening.

“Don’t nu uh me! You were in my dream and you looked at me like you saw me and then I woke up. You’ve been in my dreams before but not like that.” Tears began to pool in her eyes. Seeing this, her sister rose and embraced her. Toffee sobbed and clung onto Teefee. Her back was rubbed and Teefee whispered, “I’m sorry it was a nightmare. I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. And I’m sorry I woke you up like that. You’re bunny was… Different somehow. I had to do something.”

“I don’t know how you did it but thank you.” Toffee murmured.

“You came into my dream as well.” Tad said, coming up to them and helping their mother to her feet.

Teefee shrugged. “You didn’t want me there, so you woke up. I left mother’s alone, as her dream was pleasant.”

“How, daughter?” Ina asked, a grave look upon her face.

Teefee sighed. “There was…” she looked up in thought and then smiled, “That but way smaller.”




Teefee was sick. The air was just beginning to go back to how it had been after that first day without light and that had been a few weeks ago. Supplies were running low. Tad still wondered why the plants had been so greedy? How could such beauty release so much suffering? He pulled the family sled with Toffee, strips of fur covering their mouth and noses as they marched on. Mother was tending to Teefee and walking beside them.

Poor Teefee, she was going on a week of illness, finally confined to a makeshift bed. The pollen had given her a fever, a stuffy nose, a headache and she had trouble breathing. Every breath she wheezed and her face was puffy. They all felt bad, but the youngest of them (only by a few minutes as she liked to remind them) suffered the most. It was a stark contrast to what she was like in the world of dreams. They came more vividly to him when his sister was around and when she joined him or Toffee. He could still hardly grasp this strange power but it didn’t seem to be hurting Teefs.

However, Tad could tell it bothered his mother. She believed Teefee was sick because this spirit had bridged itself to her. Mother had been… Cautious ever since. She was worried. He was worried and he knew Toffee was worried.

“Let us make camp for the night over by that bluff.” Their mother called and Tad looked to see where it was she was indicating. There was a section of the land that rose up like a great fallen tree and on the side they were facing near the bottom there was shelter. A rocky outcropping protected by wind. Mother had good eyes and without much fanfare, the two made for it.

When they arrived they noticed old fire pits, knappings and broken arrowheads. It seemed they were not the first to use this place. When they dropped the reins, both siblings went to check on their third. She was sleeping, which was good, their mother assured them. She looked peaceful at least. Free of the pains of the waking world.

“Tad, take Toffee and find us some water. It should be near, there are many water birds around, plus…” She pointed at the prior habitations.

“Will you be alright here?” Tad asked as he looked around.

“Of course. Do not worry. It’s you who needs to be alright. Take your spears.” Mother said with a firm nod as she prepared the furs for beds.
As the two marched off, their mother called after them, “And bring back any good firewood!”




“She’s worried sick, isn’t she?” Toffee asked.

Tad only nodded, eyes sharp and ears listening. But not listening enough it seemed. Toffee gave him a little whack on the side of his head. He spun to her and hissed. “What was that for?”

“Oh, nothing. You just seemed like you were spacing off again.”

He frowned as Toffee smirked. “I’m trying to stay focused, Toffee. There could be danger around every bend, just hiding off the path and lurking in the tall grass.”

She rolled her eyes. “By the ancestors Tad, we aren’t in nearly as much danger as you and mother think we are. Are you even listening to the world around us? Birds are chirping. Insects are buzzing. That ground squirrel over there is watching us.” She pointed to a spot and sure enough a fat striped critter was shoving its mouth full of seeds as it watched them. “If there was certain danger, the world would be still.” Toffee finished in a soft whisper.

As much as he wanted to protest, Toffee had a point at least.

He relaxed a little and finally said, “Let’s just find some water and get back to them. I’m sure Teefee will be awake and she’ll be thirsty.”

“I can agree with that.”

Silence fell between the two as they finally heard the murmur of running water. With a grin from his sister and one he eagerly returned, the two descended into a small creek with crystal blue waters. The bottom was full of colorful rocks and when Tad bent down to pick up a handful of them, letting the sediment wash away before removing them, he found a rock that looked like a flower. A rock flower? It was engraved so precisely that he only broke from staring at it when Toffee came up to him.

“Oh that’s pretty. All these rocks are pretty. Teefee would have loved this!” She bent down and scooped out a handful. “We should take some back for her.”

“Yeah, we should. But first, water.” Tad said as he placed the rock into a pouch. The two then set to their task. Toffee squatted down on one side of the creek whilst Tad knelt down on the other, and together they started to fill up their waterskins.

A shrill birdcall came from far above. The lively cacophony of life continued, but something started to feel off. The calls of the animals around the two gradually got louder and louder, and the plants themselves grew more colourful and vibrant. Fruit grew from trees but did not rot, and creatures came out in droves not by themselves, but carrying their offspring, be they newborn or juvenile, and they all settled in the shade of the trees and just… Waited.

Tad shared a look with Toffee, then looked around at the changing scenery and, hesitantly, plugged his waterskin and stood up. “Toffee…What was that about the sounds of life again?” Tad narrowed his eyes at his sister, who was just as confused as he was.

“But… I…” her voice trailed off and Tad outstretched his arm to her.

“Time to go.” he said in a loud whisper.

As the two made their way out of the water, gathering their things- Insects crawled out from under rock and below ground, out of hollow trees and flew out of hanging nests. And they, too, settled in the shade of the trees, next to those other creatures who would normally eat them.

They all called for something, both old and young, predator and prey, insect or mammal or reptile or plant. Tad felt his fur rise and he squeezed his sister’s hand harder, tugging her on.

The shrill birdcall came again, now echoing from directly above the pair, and when they looked up they only saw the bright reflection of golden feathers, and the arcs of light that came with storms.

And then the noise stopped, and with the noise they froze also. Not by choice in the slightest. Tad wanted to move but he couldn’t but why? What was- He saw it.

When they looked back down, they saw a great beast step out from the treeline, head bent low to avoid the canopies of the trees. It looked like a wolf, one with thick fur like the night sky, glittering with stars, with fangs and claws as big as forearms.

And yet where it walked, it crushed nothing. Grass moved aside, animals steered clear, and they all watched it with adoration in their eyes. There were some who received a glance from the great beast, and those few and their offspring would glow and quickly go back wherever they had come from.

And then the beast looked at the two siblings, and stopped.

Tad felt an overwhelming urge to run. This creature was beyond the pale of anything he had ever come across before. Fear made his limbs jittery, his heart quickened and his eyes saw with crystal clarity. The giant black wolf was certain death.

He felt a tug on his hand and then Toffee was free of him. He glanced to the side and saw that his sister’s hair was up. She had a posture not of flight, but of fight. Her muscles were tensed, her knuckles white on her spear. She bared her teeth and from her throat came a low growl not unlike some beast. Her eyes were wild and Tad was suddenly unsure if he should be more afraid of the wolf or of Toffee.

The wolf stared at Toffee, then looked at Tad, then back at Toffee. It wagged its tail twice, then it sat down and pawed at the ground in front of it once. That was when out of its throat came a noise so deep that it reverberated painfully in Tad’s chest.

“Khome.” It pawed at the ground in front of it again. “Kome.”

Tad blinked in surprise as he rubbed his chest. It could… Words? Toffee just hissed and sank into a crouch. He was unsure if she had even noticed. It looked like she was about to- Tad tackled her before she could throw her spear. There came a frantic spat as the two tumbled in the sand. Toffee was not happy at what he had done but he knew if he let go of her, they’d be in more trouble. If the wolf was capable of speech, and it hadn’t attacked them, he couldn’t risk it.

“Toffee-! Stop this!” he snarled. Her lithe form was slippery and every time he had her in a solid hold, she broke free. Worse, she wouldn’t let go of the damn spear!

“Get. Off. Me!” She managed to yell as the two came closer to the water’s edge.

“Give me the spear!” he jabbed his elbow into her side and his sister gasped with pain. Then she growled and bit his arm! She didn’t draw blood but it was enough of a shock that Tad loosened his hold and with it, Toffee broke free, rolling away from him and- right into the water.

But before Tad could react, the beast had jumped into the creek and dunked its snout into the spot where Toffee had been struggling. Toffee’s limbs flailed around as the wolf’s snout pushed her around and flipped her over and over until at last it clamped its teeth down and lifted its head to retrieve Toffee from the water by the back of her fur shirt. She was soaking and spearless. Her hair matted and ears and tail weighed down but still she struggled, even if the furs she was wearing were too sturdy for her to break free and her arms too short to reach her captor. She hissed and yowled and Tad could only stare in disbelief.

The wolf pranced back to him and, tail wagging, dangled Toffee above him. He looked up at the wolf and the wolf looked at him. Toffee was yelling something about not being a baby anymore and to be put down. Tad began to smirk and was about to speak when-

“STOP! Stop that!” A feminine voice rang out from the treeline, and out of it came a disheveled, wheezing young woman. Right behind the young woman came a grinning man, who upon seeing the scene burst out laughing.

“Put that down, right now! Bad girl! Saries, bad girl!”

“Whoa there! Saries, good boy!”

They spoke at the same time, but the words were enough to cause the great wolf to hesitate for a brief moment, and then it gently let Toffee down next to Tad. And Toffee immediately got down into a crouched position again, her hands digging into the sand as she stared daggers at the wolf. Tad placed a hand on his sister’s wet head. Saries, was it? Why both boy and girl? What was that about? He tried to take a quick peak under the wolf but couldn’t see anything.

“Calm, Toffee. Let’s just figure this out, alright?” Tad said, as he looked past the wolf and stared at the woman. He couldn’t tell how old she was, maybe around his age? He glanced at the man. Were they twins and were they wearing… plants? He had never seen the likes of them before. Bronzed skin with curly hair and their arms… birthmarks? Something else? He eyed the wolf again and finally took a deep breath.

“Who might you be, strangers?” he asked them as they approached. It was time for some answers. But his grip tightened on Toffee’s head and his sister stopped her spatting. He could tell she was on edge. Why did she have to overreact to everything?

The man was the first to look at the siblings, as the woman had gone on to slap at the great wolf’s legs, admonishing it.

“Hm,” the man tapped his chin, his eyes taking in every aspect of Tad and his sister’s forms, and then he nodded. “I’m Jiva of the Boulder, and the fussy lady behind me who’s currently lecturing the Beast-God is Sirele, my twin sister.”

“Now I ask you two, do you have names?”

“I am Tad of…” He trailed off for a moment and then said, “I am Tad and this is Toffeen. We are also twins, yes.” Toffee looked up at him after that, her eyes no longer so fierce. “I uhm, well met, Jiva of the Boulder. This is not something we expected to run into.” he finished quickly, wishing to move past his awkward blunders.

“Ah it’s fine, it’s fine!” Jiva laughed again, “I acted the same as your sister Toffeen when I first met Saries, you know. Just with a little less dangling and screaming!”

It was now that Sirele came up behind Jiva and bumped him as she walked past closer to Tad and Toffee, making him choke on his laugh. She gave a sympathetic look to Toffee. “You’ve got good instincts, it’s what’s got Saries so in love with you. That, and those.” Sirele mimicked cat ears with her hands, smiling.

Toffee gave a hiss and Tad shoved her behind him. He gave her a stern look as she lay in the sand. “Cool off.” He then turned back to the twins. He couldn’t help but stare at Sirele’s smile and before he knew it, he was smiling back. “Oh uhmm, well met Sirele of the Boulder.” he looked back up at the wolf, was eyeing them intently and almost cursing under his breath he said, “Well met, Sar-ees, beast-god.” The word felt strange upon his tongue and he didn’t really know what a beat god was but he didn’t want to be rude.
“Why does,” he looked back at Sirele, “Why does the Sar-ees love Toffee? I mean, Toffeen.” he winced at his mistake but tried to play it off.

“Toffee? Nice nickname, sounds sweet!” Jiva said with a grin.

Sirele rolled her eyes, but was quick to return to her smile when she looked back at Tad. “Not just Toffee, Tad. You too! You’ve got Therian features but no curse of mind, body, or soul. You were also not created by her-”

Him.” Interrupted Jiva with a smirk.

“You were also not created by her, so she was intrigued at first, and excited when she saw the ways your bodies reacted. In Saries’ eyes, you’re an improved version of us.” Sirele then leaned in close to Tad and whispered, ”Saries is really touchy about ur-humanity, ‘cause we remind her of the Man-God. Your pretty ears and tails may have saved your lives today.”

He eyed the beast-god with suspicion but only received, if anything, a wolfish grin. He then shook his head. “I am sorry but I do not know half of the words that you speak of. Ur-humanity? Man-God? Him? Her?” he pointed at Saries. “Therian features? Curses? Improved?” His head was beginning to spin.

“Oh.” Sirele pursed her lips and glanced at Jiva, who took the hint and wrapped an arm around Sirele’s shoulders.

“My sister means to say that Saries likes you because you’ve got animal parts, that’s the important bit. Saries can be male or female depending on what mood he’s in, and he has sired and birthed many litters already. Don’t worry, he matches his size and form to his partners.”

Saries huffed and dug up a bit of dirt and threw it at Jiva’s legs.

“Yeah yeah, I was getting to it! He wants to see your den- Sorry, home. He’s excited to see how you live! Invite us?”

“I uhh…” Tad began, a little dumbstruck.

Toffee brushed past him. “We don’t have a home. And even if we did, why should we invite you? You are strangers and could be dangerous.”

Sirele was the one to respond. “Saries is the Beast-God. You may not know this, but Gods are the creatures who created our world, and Saries here is the Sovereign of Life and Nature. Every animal and every plant in this world comes from or is inspired by her.” She sighed, “So you are right, Toffee, Gods are dangerous because they are too powerful… But Saries won’t do anything to you or Tad if you treat her well.”

It took Tad a few moments to make the terrible but wondrous connection. “A spirit?” Tad looked at Toffee and his sister glanced at him. He felt his knees buckle at the thought of an actual spirit standing before him. A being who walked between the tall grass and danced amidst the stars.

“Toffee we have to-”

“Can you heal the sick?’ Toffee cut him off as she looked up at Saries. Her previous demeanor gone, replaced by that of worry.

Sirele and Jiva looked at Saries, and after a moment Jiva chuckled and crossed his arms and Sirele furrowed her brow, then looked back at Toffee.

“She has healed thousands before, but she wants something in exchange for this service. We can discuss what that is after we’ve seen the one who needs healing.”

Tad and Toffee exchanged nervous glances but there was no reluctance in the shared nod that followed.

“Then quickly, mother will be worried by now.” Tad said as he gathered a few discarded things and began to jog up the path.




“Mother!” Toffee shouted as they approached the bluff.

Ina was on the sled, Teefee in her arms as she brushed the girl’s hair. It was soft and smooth in the waning light.

At the sound of her voice, their mother said, “Where have you been child? I was growing worried. You can’t just do that to me when Tee-” She looked up at this point and froze as she saw what followed them.

“They mean no harm mother!” Toffee said as she and Tad approached. “They can heal Teefee! The great wolf is a spirit.”

Ina was stone faced as she looked between her Tad and Toffee’s faces, then to Sirele’s and Jiva’s, then at last to Saries.

“One great spirit has caused this, why should I trust another?” she said coldly.

Toffee knelt beside Teefee and felt the fever on her brow. She was still asleep and at her touch, her sister shivered.

“We don’t know that mother.” Tad put a hand on her shoulder. “The great spirit Sar-ees is one of life and nature. Surely that cannot be so bad?”

Ina sighed through her nose and looked at the great wolf. “Is it true?”

The wolf huffed, and suddenly the twin humans standing to either side of it looked at each other and clasped their hands in front of their chests. Then the wolf shuddered and became smaller. And as it shrunk, so did it change. Its fur thinned, it stood straighter and then onto two legs, its paws turned into hands, and finally its face became flat and smooth.

The great wolf had become a woman. Taller than all of them, lean and well-proportioned, with wolvish ears large enough to flop a little and thick hair that draped down her back like a great wave. Behind her swishes a long fluffy tail, and her sun-tanned body was bare for all to see.

Her irises shone like starlight when she opened her eyes, and her teeth and nails were sharp and long.

The wolf-turned-woman, Saries, looked at her hands and clenched and unclenched them. She scratched at her fingers and arms, marvelling at the soft fur that grew up to her elbows, and she touched herself all over with a face that looked both disgusted and intrigued. The thing that impacted her the most was her thumbs. She pinched herself all over and even pinched Jiva, before Sirele produced a coat of leaves from her pack and draped it around Saries’ shoulders.

It was then that Saries turned sharply and walked up to Ina, stopping only a foot away and a full head taller. She inhaled, and then she spoke.

It was a voice that was smooth and melodic, but also deep and awkward.

“Truf.” She said, “Trut. Thruth.”

The twins stood to either side of Saries, right behind her. Jiva looked like he was on the verge of exploding with laughter, while Sirele was wincing and grinning at the same time.

“Kitten,” Saries pointed at Teefee, asleep and puffy, then back at herself, then back at Teefee, numerous times, while staring at Ina. “Kitten, mhahak buerl. Mhahk buel!” She huffed through her nose.

“Saries means to say that she will make your daughter, Teefee, well. But before she does, I want to remind you that there is a price. It’s nothing to be afraid of. Put simply, Saries wants to learn about you and your children. We want to travel with you for a short time. If you agree to this, Saries will heal Teefee.” Sirele explained, before reaching out to pull Saries’ still-pointing finger down and into her coat.

The family before the wolf-turned-woman all had shocked faces. Ina was trembling, as tears welled in her eyes. Both Tad and Toffee could only stare slackjawed.

“If this is the price… Then we accept.” Ina said, her voice catching in her throat.

Saries huffed again and immediately walked to Teefee and straddled her and pressed one of her oversized ears against the young girl’s chest. Her eyes darted back and forth, focusing on nothing and everything, and then she pinched Teefee’s nose, tilted her head backwards, and placed her mouth over hers, and inhaled.

A moment passed, Teefee’s chest deflated a bit, and Saries shot up and coughed and spat a great amount of greenish, clear mucus. And so Teefee’s wheezing was gone.

Then, Saries blew air into Teefee’s nostrils and the girl sneezed and coughed and expelled enough snot to cover half her face. And so Teefee started to breathe through her nose.

Saries then licked Teefee’s face clean, and the puffiness went away.

And finally, she placed a hand to either side of Teefee’s neck, and Teefee was healed. Saries remained that way for a few minutes, watching the girl, waiting. When the illness did not come back, she wagged her tail, got off of Teefee, and started touching and handling Teefee’s ears and hair.

Jiva was the first to speak. “It’s done! She’s alright now.”

Tad’s disbelief slowly turned to disgust as he watched the odd display. But when Teefee began to stir, he no longer really cared for how it worked, just only that it had.

She blinked her eyes open and groggily focused on Saries, who tilted her head. “I was dreaming,” Teefee murmured, “And a great wolf came to me and we spoke of many things before it licked my face and I woke up. How odd.”

“Oh Teefee!” their mother cried and began to pat her head and fuss.

“A miracle.” Toffee muttered.

Jiva scooted up to Toffee’s side and smiled at her in an incredibly smug manner. “And you were trying to chase that away.”

Toffee huffed, flipped her drying hair in his grinning face and walked past him, patting Teefee’s head as she passed. “Glad you're okay Teefs.” She said quietly before grabbing some dry furs and wandering off. Most likely to change.

“Oh yes, Teefee,“ Tad began and Teefee looked up at him. “This is Sar-ees, Jiva and Sirele.” He pointed to each of them. “Sar-ees is a great spirit who has healed your sickness. In exchange, they will be traveling with us for a time.”

‘Oh’, Teefee mouthed.

“Are you hungry Teefee? Thirsty?” Their mother asked and his sister shook her head.

It looked as if Teefee was still trying to digest what had just happened but after a moment of silence, she looked up at Saries and dipped her head. “Thank you, great spirit, l feel so much better now and I can breathe again!” She then attacked Saries with a hug, which made Saries gasp and hold her arms up defensively until she relaxed when Teefee looked up at her face with her big, round eyes.

“Saries, gud girl! Gud boy!” Saries proclaimed and returned the hug in a most awkward manner, engulfing the smaller Teefee in a mountain of hair and fur. Tad could only join in the laughter of Jiva and Sirele, the latter of which he glanced at again and again. There was something about her he found immensely attractive. When she glanced back at him and their eyes caught each other’s, it was he who blinked first and blushed.

“Uhmm, excuse me.” he said quickly, dipping his head low. He needed to find an escape from whatever that was. Teefee would be fine.

He walked for a bit until he stumbled upon Toffee, who was running her hands through her hair. His earlier emotions caught up to him in that moment and he placed his hands on his hips. “What was that, earlier? What in the name of the ancestors were you trying to do?”

Toffee slowly turned to him at the sound of his anger. Her expression was distant. “It was better than just standing there.” she retorted.

Tad’s brow furrowed and he got closer to her. “Toffee, that was a giant wolf. What did you think you were going to do? If you had thrown that spear, we both would have died!” he snapped.

“I don’t know, okay!” She stood and faced him fully. Anger burned bright in her eyes. “It was a threat and I needed to be prepared. It’s that simple.”

“But it wasn’t simple at all. I had to wrestle with you, you had to go into the water to finally snap out of whatever had taken you over!” He took a deep breath and said in a softer voice, “You scared me Toffee”

Her fists balled and she looked away from him. “I’m sorry.” she whispered eventually. “My body reacted before my mind did… Instincts. And I… I saw…” she gulped, her body quivering.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she flinched. “Toffee, what did you see?”
“I don’t know. It was quick. Like a- a red haze in the corner of my vision but when I looked back it was gone.”

“Why did this scare you?”

“Scare me? No. When I looked at it for that split second. I felt only thrill. A thrill for battle. A release for my anger.” tears welled in her eyes and Tad pulled her in close. “I’m broken.” she whimpered.

“No, because if you are broken, so am I.”

“How?”

“Let me tell you about my nightmare.”

And so he did and the two talked while Teefee and their mother entertained their guests.

It was a long night.






???





There came a small mewing. She was cold and wet and hungry and scared. Her mewing was answered by a contented chitter, then a warm licking across her back, her stomach and sides. It was divine. This dried her and she no longer mewed. She then was lifted and placed down in a mass of warm bodies. She could not see them but she could smell them and the kitten knew she was safe. She was warm. She had a family. And, after a bit of work and another small mew, she found her dinner. Warm milk gushed down her throat and into her belly. She quickly fell asleep to a loud but content rumbling.

The days went by and the small kitten grew. She knew the smell of her mother and her siblings. When she mewed, her mother came. Even when she didn’t, she would be picked up and placed with her siblings. They were warm and her belly was often full of milk.

Her squirming gave way to very bad walking, before she could even see. And when her eyes at last opened, it was as if memories that were not her own could be seen in the wide world. She expected a wasteland, of black sand and ash and fire but what she found was the opposite. She was in a dark space, surrounded by other fuzzy lumps of white. Her siblings! And that larger shape that her siblings crawled over? That was mother! There was no fire and ash here, where had such thoughts come from? How did she even know what those were?

Days turned to weeks and the small kitten was often outside the den now. She could see the lush green world of her home in all its splendor. Green oceans of grass stretched beyond the horizon. Her siblings frolicked and played under vibrant flowers as the great light in the sky illuminated the world with its warmth. She had been confused at first when she had finally noticed the thing. It was hard to look at and gave a sense of… wrongness. But these thoughts were fickle and she knew not why they came at times in the quiet of night. She was too busy playing and stalking insects.

One warm day, her mother brought back a large furry thing with big teeth. She was hungry for milk and tried to get a teat but her mother gave a low hiss. The kitten paused, tried again, hissed at again and then forcefully nudged to correct her behavior. Their mother did this to each of them, and there were a few.

Her pride terribly wounded, the kitten turned her attention to the large furry thing that was stiff as a stick and sniffed it. Cold too. Before she could do anything more, her mother clawed at the thing and her great claws tore down the side of it, leaving large gashes of fur and skin. The smell of rust bloomed from the gash, now running red with blood. She sniffed it carefully before licking the substance. It… Wasn’t so bad? Not as good as milk by any means. Their mother then tore into the gash and her maw came back bloody, she threw the piece she had to the floor and one by one she and her siblings sniffed it. Until one of her brothers decided to gobble it up.

Then the frantic mewing started.

This became a daily occurrence as weeks turned to months. They still got their mother’s milk but it became less and less as they turned to solids. She and her siblings had grown larger, stronger and more capable. The grasslands of their home were no longer safe from them, especially when their mother began to bring back creatures that were still alive. She let them learn how to hunt this way and it was a thrill. But their mother seemed… disappointed in some way. What was she expecting or wanting? The kitten often rubbed up against her mother and purred but there came no answers.

She had become a bit of a boss to her siblings. She was in no way the largest, nor the strongest but she had wits about her. Her temperament was also regal and well refined for such a kitten her age. She played but it had to be on her own time. She napped when she liked and was not interrupted, else she gave the one who woke her a good smacking. She often got to eat first because she was lazy and decided to just finish the prey instead of playing with them. Try as her mother might to curb her behavior, the kitten had a calling deep within her soul to be doted upon at all times and to see the world as her own personal perch. What more could she ask for? Her fur was slick and cleaned at all times. Her claws were sharp. Her eyes focused. So what if she didn’t do the whole survival thing like what her mother wanted? It wasn’t like she was going to be kicked out and left to fend for herself. She was too important for that.

Now the kitten was out exploring one morning, just seeing what was around the den, and gradually climbing to the top where she could survey the land- when an odd thing happened.

She heard… a strange noise.

“There you are, my lord.” the sound said and she found herself being able to understand. At the mention of Lord, she remembered a dancing, glowing light, laughing and merry. She remembered a great fire that she ran from, the horned predator exploding with death. The great rain and the damp, damp, damp. Her hair stood on end as she jumped in the air, spinning around in a defensive position.

What she saw puzzled her senses. A thin creature of glittering skin, morphing into different lengths, with different colors and ornaments. It floated before her and had an exotic scent that made her want to sneeze. “ Long have I looked for you.” it said, drifting closer. “One who could finally match my grand designs.” It paused in its drifting, still as a tree. “But what’s this? You carry that light but the form…The form!” It spun and gave out a mighty cry. “Dashed, I say. I am dashed. My designs are ruined. How could this be? How could this be! Damn those divine idiots!” Its skin formed into a harsh grey, glittering with specks of blood and adorned with a deep shimmering gem. “Perhaps we shall have you try again!”

It charged at her, swinging itself down hard! The kitten jumped out of the way and when the creature came at her again, her claws slashed it but she only ended up hurting herself upon the skin. With a howl of frustration, she backed up as the thing advanced, laughing manically.

It was then she felt… cold. Worse than the chilly air of the morning or when she peeked out at night, away from the warmth of her family. This cold radiated deep inside and it sought release! She felt as if she was going to cough up a fur ball but instead a bead of ice ushered forth like a gale and smacked into the creature, knocking it off balance. She could control ice! This revelation sent a shiver of joy down her spine. Was this what mother had been waiting for?

“Why you-!” It called and the kitten focused once more.

It came at her again and as the kitten backed up to jump, her foot caught an odd angle of the rock and she sputtered, coming to a sprawl in the grass. With the terrible creature above her, she looked up and narrowed her eyes out of spite.

“ENOUGH!” There came a bright flash of golden light and the air began to shimmer. Strange horns trumpeted like birds and as the terrible creature seemed to shrink into itself, becoming a smaller, silver lined stick. The kitten could see why. Just beyond it, a great gleaming thing had come. The shape was odd. Like a smooth rock with blades of grass shooting out of its… crown. Silvery-white was the skin, adorned with faceted white gems and inlaid with a warm gold.

It towered above the floating stick and declared in a mighty voice, “You fool! My coming was yet to be, now forced by the likes of you. What do you say for yourself!”

“S-Sovereign, please. Have mercy. I meant no ill will upon you. This was just a lark, you see, a misunderstanding!” The stick quivered.

“A lark! A misunderstanding! I should have your title for this and seize all your holdings. A lark!” it spun in a wide arc, the air seeming to clap with its presence. “Please. Be off with you before I decide to have a misunderstanding of my own, Lordling.”

‘A thousand apologies, Sovereign. Thank you for your magnanimous generosity.” the stick sniveled.

“Be gone.” the Sovereign said with curt finality.

The stick then bowed, yes, bowed before vanishing in mid air!

The kitten was now alone with the gleaming creature and it was beginning to hurt looking at it. Somehow she could feel the weight of its gaze upon it, as if she were being crushed by stone.

It spoke but this time its voice was calm and collected, yet still weighty. “I apologize for the stupidity of my subject. I can glean the reasoning but condemn the means.” It paused before saying, “You have an old soul. One whose destiny ended before his time. The divine are cruel in that way. Thus I bestow upon you the birthright stolen. You shall not be a sniveling Lord, nor a Lady but a Monarch, a Sovereign- A Queen. Thus it is said, thus it IS.”
Something snapped into place inside the kitten- no, the Queen. She felt all at once the strongest she had ever been, and the most important being that had ever existed. She would be doted upon, loved, and cared for. She would rule her subjects with an iron claw. Mercy and punishment would flow from her mouth at a whim. This is what it meant to be Queen.

Her patron vanished with but one lingering thought shared between them- Rule.

So, the Queen went about her first royal action and frantically began to groom herself.
Nightmares




The Dreamscape was, in a word, flexible. It became whatever its visitors wanted it to be, whether they knew it or not. It was a place with little rules for consistency, or rigidity, or sensibility of a kind. It could offer escape from the constant torment of reality or entrapment in twisted conjurations of the mind.

The four little mortals, drifting in a corner of the Dreamscape, were not lucky enough to receive the former. A closer inspection revealed one to be much older than the rest. A guardian, perhaps. A seasoned, experienced, emotionally mature mortal – a dull flavour compared to the vivid mental machinations younger mortals so tended to have.

And so it was the triplets whom Sirna turned their attention to.

~

Tad found himself in a place he had once called home, surrounded by people who had once jeered and beat him for what he was. They were not jeering now. They watched, silent, as their chieftess’ heir pulled him close, hands cupping his neck as she offered him a smile, sweet and soft. Between their clustered feet sat a hare, its coat a tortoiseshell of grey, brown and white.

“I’m so happy you chose to stay,” said Misha. “My little mutt.”

Her hands pulled away and it was then that it became clear that it had not been a gesture of affection. How could it be, with the rope she had tied around his neck like one would to a mule?

He could only truly blink in surprise as his mind raced. The blank faces around him gave no solace. Where was his mother? His sisters? Had they left him behind?

He looked back at Misha, the woman he still loved, deep down, whose words cut him deep. “Why would you call me that?” was his first question, voice raw and rough with the rope around it, “Misha please.” He began again, “This isn't right. You wouldn't do this! What's going on?” He began to tug at the rope. His gaze briefly flickered to the hare but this only further confused him.

“Wouldn’t I?”

Misha didn’t sound right. She didn’t look right. Her eyes melted away into pools of bleak nothingness, dripping streaks of black down the curve of her cheeks. Her hands yanked at the rope, tightening it, pulling him in into a false facsimile of a hug. With her mouth right up to his ear, she whispered, “This is the only way you can ever be loved, mutt.”

The hare sat behind her feet now. It sniffed at the trail of rope that lay on the ground, the tail end of what Misha had collared him with. As if sensing defiance, Misha’s foot shot out backwards and stomped at the hare. It leaped nimbly out of the way. Its nose twitched. Misha yanked on the rope a second time, but it seemed almost an afterthought.

“Insect,” she growled.

Tad didn't know how to feel. But he knew there was something terribly wrong here. Misha was not Misha but some creature that wore her visage, it had to be. She would not be acting like this otherwise. So Tad pushed back, shoving Misha away from him.

The world had now gone dark beyond his periphery. With flickering ghost light images dancing with and showing their terrible faces. Tad braced himself for the worst and said to the thing before him, “Leave it alone! You are not Misha! Misha is kind and caring, her heart is not made of stone like yours.” He gave a mighty tug to the rope.

The rope split apart. Misha held up her end, watching as it crumbled into loose strands of fine fibre. The hare scampered around her, settling somewhere off to Tad’s side.

“Yet you believed this of me,” she said. “You thought me someone who considered you lower than the grass that wild beasts feed on. Will you think this of everyone who dares to offer you their affection?”

“That's not true!” Tad sputtered, “That was never true and you know it!” Yet doubt surfaced in his heart. What if he had thought that, deep down? And with a crushing realization, it was no longer Misha who stood before him now, but himself. His own reflection, mirrored by the dark.

It smiled and Tad knew that he himself believed he was unlovable. The edges of his vision grew darker and darker.

Then the hare bit his ankle. Hard. It was painful enough to startle, but not enough to cause Tad to fall. It was a pain that surged up his leg, up his spine, through his brain – and with it came a rush of memory. Every hug Mom had ever given him; the antics Teefee would get up to and expect her slightly older by a few seconds brother to solve; the lighthearted ribbing Toffee would throw at him. Every moment they spent together. Every smile they shared. There were no words from the hare with glowing eyes. There was no need for them.

The sky burst open into bright blue. The people of his old tribe faded away. His double was left standing there, scowling.
“I suppose it was too much to expect from one little heartbreak,” he said. Something echoed beneath his mimicry of Tad’s voice, something other. He looked up at the light sky. “Disgusting.

Then it was gone, leaving Tad alone in his dreams.

~

Toffee waded through a river of blood. The thick stench of iron was inescapable. Her fur was matted, crusted over in places; she could barely move for the sheer viscosity of the blood she was trying to rise from. Water rushes lined the riverbanks, blocking the horizon from view. Among the plant stems glimmered something small – almost like eyes – but that could easily be a trick of the light under the starry night. Panic was setting in, gripping her chest like a too tight shirt. Her breaths came fast as exertion took its toll. She had to get out!

The riverbanks seemed an impossible destination. Still, the bank of the river eventually came within reach, shallow rust-coloured liquid sludging over her shins as she sputtered and coughed. It became shallow enough to realise that someone was lying in the blood water, holding onto her ankle.

Malac.

Toffee screamed as terror flooded her entire being. She kicked at his hand, once, twice- on the third hit there was a terrible cracking sound and Toffee was falling backwards. The sludge splashed everywhere and she was only further coated as she tried to scramble away. She couldn't even think but she knew in her heart that Malac was dead, so how was he here now?

“I’m not,” said Malac. He lifted his other hand. The gaping hole in his chest was clear, weeping in river blood behind his torn clothing. His voice boomed through the space, drowning her in its sound. “You killed me.”

Another body broke through the water’s surface, prone. Its face was familiar, matted fur, limp ears. A second body joined it, and a third, and by then, Toffee could no longer deny that she was staring at the rotten bodies of her own family.
A quiet rustle sounded somewhere on the riverbank, behind Toffee.

“Just like you killed them,” continued Malac, in that horrible, crackling voice. Blood burbled out of his mouth, staining his lips. “And you know you will. Your hands will always carry the filth of what you did.”

“No!” Toffee yelled. “You-you caused this!” And something snapped inside her as she looked at the corpses of her family. She wasn't afraid, no, she was angry. Angry at this thing. Angry at herself for her failure to protect those she loved. Toffee knew what she needed. Grief could come later. She needed to hit something. All other thoughts to the side, she charged.

Rage bubbled to the surface of her being as she tackled Malac, sending them both into the bloody river. She got on top of him when his corpse had settled to the sandy floor and began to hit him. Water and viscera coated her face and body but she didn't care. Toffee screamed, “Monster! I'll make you pay! I'll make you pay for what you've done!”

The river vanished. The blood vanished. The corpses of her family vanished. It was just her and Malac now, caught under a spotlight in a swath of darkness. None of it registered. Engulfed in the hot rush of fury, Toffee rained blow after blow on the thing that had dared to touch her sister. This was right. This was just. Why should tears be shed for the death of people like Malac?

A rusty red hare sat in the fringes of the spotlight. By the time it noticed the unhinged jaw overhead, it was too late. Teeth sharp as knives pierced into the hare’s neck. Black ichor spurted out of its neck, black miasma wafted off its matted fur. It squealed and squealed, cries that went unheard. Hindfeet stamped uncontrollably. Eyes that glowed like the moon sputtered into a bleak dim red. Its cries ceased.
It inhaled Toffee’s rage. Swallowed her despair. Savoured her self-righteousness. All at once, it understood.

In tandem with Toffee, in the jaws of the Patron of Nightmares, the Dream Guide roared.

When her bloody work was done, Toffee breathed quick shallow breaths as she gazed upon her grisly work. But she found that Malac looked untouched, no longer dead. There was just a spear in his heart. She stumbled backwards, suddenly gripped not by guilt but by shame. Her bloody hands shook. She had let her anger win again.

Far above, orange-slit eyes watched. The hare sat next to Malac’s body. It was twice the size of a typical Dream Guide now, its fur long and shaggy, its eyes gleaming red. It sank its teeth into Malac’s bloodless neck and without further ado, dragged him out of the spotlight, into the darkness.

And so Toffee was left alone in her nightmares.

~

Teefee stood in an empty field of primroses. Their violently violet heads bobbed up and down. Little insects buzzed by, merry in their pilgrimage from flower to flower. The horizon didn’t seem to end, no matter where she turned. There was no tree in sight. No landmarks. No people. No Tad, Toffee, or Mother.

She was alone.

So she called for them. Raising her hands to her mouth as she shouted their names.

“Toffee! Tad! Mooooom! Where are you guys!”

This went on for a time, each shout becoming quieter and hoarser but her steps grew more frantic and she began to jog. She grew frightened that she was alone. She didn't like being alone. Sure it was nice sometimes but she always knew where to go to find her family so she wouldn't be alone.

So why was she alone?

Did they lose her? Was she left behind?

Teefee eventually tired herself out and fell to her knees in a bed of primroses and began to absentmindedly pluck at the petals as she swiveled her head to and fro trying to find them or anybody.

But there was no one.

Time passed, long enough for the sun to begin lowering itself in the sky. Teefee had managed to shred herself a little pile of primroses to sit in. Her shadow stretched long in the eternal sunset, cast deep and dark over pulled petals.

Tears soon joined the petals. She felt useless. She had always been useless. She was a burden, something her family only tolerated. Deep sobs wracked her as her eyes blurred. Why did this hurt so much? What if the pain could just go away? The thought was alien in her mind but it dwelled and festered like a bad wound.

What if it all would go away?

What if she could feel nothing? Be nothing. No more worries, no more burdens. Just blissful, tolerable, peace.

And Teefee felt a terrible sense of longing.

The shadows tucked between each blade of grass seemed to darken. They gathered with her own, twisting and spiralling until a chasm yawned open before her, no bottom in sight. Silence reigned, as it had been doing so since she awoke here, but there seemed to be something beckoning her. A promise of relief. An escape from those who had abandoned her. An opportunity to embrace what she really was.

And what was she, really?

Teefee knew as she stood to gaze into the abyss. She knew with her entire being- worthless.

She placed her foot over the maw, teetering on the edge, before falling in.

​​It wasn’t a long fall, on account of the gust of wind that burst out from the depths of the chasm, strong enough to thrust Teefee right back up and out of it, landing her a good distance away from the chasm’s edge. A wisp of a voice broke through the endless clearing – but its tone did not stay soft for long.

And what have we here?” Something rolled into being, the likes of which Teefee had not laid eyes upon before – rounder than a pebble (and much bigger), with a surface filled with pits and craters, backlit by a colour that was rapidly turning red. It floated in the air and water poured forth from its bottom. The voice that had spoken did not raise itself, but its tone grew harsh. “You request I tend to my duties in a manner befitting your preference, then relieve me of them? How kind. You truly shouldn’t have.

Teefee righted herself and sat up, blinking rapidly at the strange sight.

The chasm closed. The shadows lifted from the ground and they coalesced, forming an ugly, wizened old man. He was absurdly tall, hunched over, with hair that was a surprising inky black, spilling over his shoulders in a restless, shifting mass. His eyes were sunken pools of white, set against pallid, grey skin. Teefee shivered at the sight of the man and felt as if her skin was crawling.

“You,” he said. He sounded surprised. “You would interrupt my work?”

I interrupt shoddy rubbish.”The ball-thing spun, red cycling into orange. “Begone.

And the man was gone, as if he had never been there. The sun had set by then, but between the glowing ball-thing and the scattered stars, the night was well-lit. The ball-thing spun again. Orange faded to colourless white. Teefee found herself weighed with the attention of something… weird. Her own attention became abruptly focused; her surroundings became clear in a way that made her realise how utterly hazy they had been before; and her sense of self solidified. She could feel herself breathe.

Teefee now knew that this was a dream. She stood and it was as if some great burden had been lifted off her shoulders and from her heart. She let out a deep sigh. She was just asleep. She had not been abandoned. She would wake and her siblings and mother would be by her side.
She looked upon the ghostly pitted ball, the shades of red she had never seen before. Mesmerized, she could not look away and even took steps closer. She wanted to touch it and feel those bumps. If she was dreaming, she wondered what it would be like?

Teefee realized with a start that, hadn’t this thing talked? Had it not banished that foul man?

So she cleared her throat and a flurry of questions saddled forth, “Hello! Thank you for helping me. What was that thing? What are you? Where are we? I mean, I'm dreaming right? Are you a part of my dream?”

The ball glowed pink.

Many questions,” they said, quietly. “I have only one for you, Teefeen. How much would you give to keep your family with you?

“Everything.” She said without hesitation, before clamping her mouth shut as her cheeks became flushed. She thought about what it felt to be alone and that feeling was a pit in the bottom of her stomach, one that threatened to consume her and she could only ask herself- why? Her mind raced. Had she always felt this way? Or had she just always assumed that they would not ever be separated? “Is that… selfish?” She asked the ball, as it seemed like it could give her answers.

That depends on who you ask.

The ever-cascading waterfall split apart before Teefee, revealing to her nothing but a shallow pool of absurdly still water. It seemed almost a bowl; that was how still it was.

If you mean what you say,” said Sirna, “then I would have that which you hold most dear. An item. An organ. A moment. A feeling. Your family, if you like. Something that you could only ever dream of letting go.

She eyed the bowl with raised eyebrows before looking at the ball and then back at the bowl. It depends on who you ask? She hated when adults said vague things but this annoyance felt paltry to the question posed. She pondered the words spoken. What could she dream of letting go in the name of her family? An item? She had no items of great importance. An organ? What even was that? What about a moment? She had a lot of moments but they all seemed too precious to her to even consider letting them go. A feeling? But she liked how she felt. And her family? No way, that seemed stupid.

Teefee let out a little sigh as she rubbed her chin. This was difficult and really, what was this even all about? She then eyed the floating ball, still really confused by this entire thing but she shrugged and asked, “What is an organ?”

It is what keeps you mortals away from the realm of the dead.” Mist condensed into a little blue cloud above the water bowl. It shifted its silhouette in a series of shapes; first something that looked like a bean, then something that looked like a saggy person, then something that was oblong, and veiny, and kept getting bigger and smaller, over and over. “Your stomach, processing the food you eat. Your skin, buried beneath your fur. Your heart, that which beats in your chest. Those are organs.
The cloud dissipated. Sirna waited.

“They sound important.” Teefee murmured. “How would I give any of that to you without…” She suddenly whispered, “Dying?” She took a slight step forward, holding her arms close to her chest. “Do I have to give anything at all? What if I just woke up?”

Then you would wake up,” answered Sirna, simply. “And you would be with your family, and smile with them, and travel with them, until the day you lose them.” Night blinked into day. The violet primroses waved in the cheerful sunshine, a glimpse of a world that cared little for a cat left all alone.

Whyever it happens, however it happens, when you find yourself asking if you could have done more to help them…” Sirna’s pink faded into pale violet. “You will know that you could have and did not.” The waterfall’s parting grew narrow.

I am not interested in killing mortals. Whatever you choose to give me will not result in your death. That, I can reassure you.” Now Sirna glowed a dim blue. “To offer up “everything” is easy. To live with that, less so. It is understandable if your family is not worth the choice.

Her dream visitor, if one could even call the floating ball that, spoke in a way that made Teefee feel small. As if she was being instructed by an adult from the tribe. They always assumed she was stupid because her mind wandered but that wasn’t the case, mostly. So Teefee knew what the ball was doing in saying such things. Trying to guilt her into a decision but the worst part was, it was right. How could she live with herself if she had been offered the ability to keep safe and protect the ones she loved? She pursed her lips and gave a small nod.

“You know just what to say.” Teefee said in a soft voice before she smiled and spread her arms wide. “If you promise that I won’t die by this, then I give you my heart. For I would give it up in the name of my loved ones.” Sirna’s light flickered colour-less, for just a moment. The waterfall parted wide open.

You mortals,” they said, softly. “So very, very interesting when you choose to be.
Strings of white spun out from Teefee’s chest, thin as spider silk, and tangled into shape above the water bowl. A tiny, little heart took form, coated in familiar white fur.

I claim your heart, Teefeen. Your truest desires, your deepest ambitions – every step you take to achieve them is a step that I bear witness to, no matter where you are.” The curtain of water closed with finality, snapping the threads connecting Teefee to her heart. “In return, I anoint you Dreamwalker, the first of your kind. The Dreamscape is open to you. All of it. You may wander, you may visit the dreams of others. And perhaps most importantly, you may find your family, wherever they may be, so long as their minds lie within my realm.” The ball tilted. “Navigation can be challenging, but you will never be lost. Not here.

A pair of muddy-looking ears popped out from the primroses. It was followed by a head, a twitching nose and a pair of glowing eyes. A hare. Another hare showed up next to it, glossy black. At the sight of only two hares, Sirna’s colour faded again for a brief moment.
These Dream Guides will lead you to your brother and mother, if you so wish.” The pour of the waterfall lessened. Sirna’s presence faded, as if they had their attention elsewhere. “Your sister may require finesse. Take this.” A spear appeared in Teefee’s hand, as though it had always been there. “It will point the way.
The waterfall returned to full force. Sirna’s moon lit up into a warm, sky blue.

I look forward to the rest of your life, Teefeen.

Teefee blinked as she held the spear. She wasn’t really sure how to react with what had just transpired but those hares sure were cute. “So I’m able to walk within other’s dreams… That’s… That’s awesome! Toffee will be super jealous, wait what’s wrong with Toffee? And who are you, anyway? I can’t just call you dream ball, can I?”

Because Sirna had some pride as a god, they wrestled the urge to dim their sky blue colour to a midnight shade. So what if Teefeen was the first to ask them that question, without bestowing her own idea of what they should be called upon them? Sarhush had done it, as had the countless dream shamans who had flocked into the temple they had never asked for, as had the mortals who remembered what glimpses they had of Sirna in their dreams. Sirna had not thought much of such transgressions, but the simple question brought forth an unprecedented rush of feeling within them.

This is a moon,” they said, mostly to test out the evenness of their voice. It was pretty even. They continued, “You may call me Sirna. As for your sister… her dreams are her stories to tell.” Abruptly, Sirna’s waterfall reversed direction, rising up to wrap around their moon.

Farewell,” they said, and popped out of existence.

“Goodbye…” she paused but they were already gone, “...Sirna.” Teefee said the name, seeing how it felt upon her tongue. She said, “Moon.” As well. Strange words for strange times. Teefee shook her head and felt her grip on the spear. There would be a lot to think about in the days to come because this entire ordeal was worthy of a good thinking. For now, she would go and investigate her family’s dreams, since she would be able to now?

Teefee’s gaze dropped to the hares, who seemed to wait with anticipation. She smiled.

“Lead the way, little buns!”



And There Was Light





Just before the world would be bathed in light, when Teefee and Tad pulled the family sled. Toffee and her mother walked ahead, out of earshot but in silence. Toffee’s mind was a mess, her heart was heavy and she felt as if she had sullied herself. It was just an accident, right? No- It had not been an accident, no matter how much she wished it to be. She remembered so vividly the heft of the spear, the weight as she lifted it, the power behind her throw. When had she gotten so strong? On and on her thoughts raged as the battle within pushed and pulled from the deep abyss of nothingness that threatened to drag her down, to the rationalization of the killing.

She of course had hunted animals before, She had been taught to wield a spear by her mother, they all had but only she and Tad hunted. Toffee could remember the rabbit which her spear had pierced. Right through the center of it. As blood gushed forth it kicked at the air, unable to move. A prisoner in its own dying shell. She had put it out of its misery with bashing of its head and from that day on, she vowed to make the cleanest kill possible. No more suffering. No more pain as the creature died.

Malac had died quickly. Too quickly. No, that wasn’t right. His death was painless. He probably didn’t even realize what had happened. Right? It was this part of her mind that was beginning to win. She could feel guilty all she wanted but the fact remained; he was going to do something unthinkable to Teefee and his death was warranted. Why feel remorse or melancholy about it? But then again, why did she need to feel at all? Why couldn’t she just… Teeter on the edge of that abyss and dip a toe in. It wouldn’t be that bad to slip into a melancholy.

But what about her siblings? Her mother? They needed her. Or did they? Who would want someone as broken as she? Was she broken? Or was it just more of this stupid guilt weighing her down.

“Toffee. Stop.” Her mother’s voice made her blink in surprise. She looked to Ina, who stared at her with an expression of worry.

“Stop what?” Toffee tried to play dumb.

“I know what it is that you dwell upon, daughter and you must stop.” her mother said, looking ahead to the distant stars. “On and on it will go. For to take a life, is no easy thing to come to terms with. But letting it consume your every action, will only lead you to a dark place.”

Teefee scowled as a sudden wave of anger peppered her. What did her mother know? How could she be so callous? So she voiced her opinion. “You know nothing mother. I have killed a man. I have sullied myself. Instead of facing the ancestor’s judgement, we are fleeing the tribe.” She, of course, wasn't entirely truthful but her mother didn’t need to know everything.
Ina remained quiet for a time and only once Toffee kept glancing at her and fidgeting, did her mother speak once more. “I once killed a woman.”

Toffee’s eyes went wide with shock as she looked at her mother.

“She was from another tribe during the days of fleeing. It was a chance meeting. Everyone was sick and hungry. Those of us who were strong were sent further and further to find what we could. I guess she was in the same predicament. I had found a small pond of the clearest blue water you had ever seen. I still remember the taste. She came out of the woods and stared at me. I remember her so vividly.” Her mother paused, still looking ahead. “She demanded I leave, that it was her water. I refused and she came at me. After a short tussle next to the bank, I managed to grab hold of a rock and smashed it across her head. She went limp and that was that.”

Her mother finally looked at her and where Toffee thought she would see remorse or guilt, she only saw a fierce determination. “It broke my heart to take a life, Toffee but she would have killed me. I did what I had to do, to protect myself. And you did what you had to do to protect Teefee.”

“It’s not the same.” Toffee blurted.

“Isn’t it?” her mother snapped back, “He harmed your sister. He harmed you. He could have put his seed inside her, Toffee. He could have killed her.” Toffee looked away, tears beginning to well, ones she tried to banish until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Her mother’s voice was softer now, “I told you before Toffee, I do not blame you, I do not hate you. Now you must learn to do the same. As I did. As others have done before you. For the world is a brutal place, my daughter and every day is a fight for survival. No matter what shape it takes.”

Toffee, lost for words, only nodded. But she knew it was easier said than done.

“Would you like to know how I dealt with what I did? Outside of coming to terms with it, I mean.”

Toffee nodded again.

“I told your father, I told my own mother while she still clung to life. I confided in them and they told me what I have told you now. It is good to talk with the ones we love, for they remind us why we do what we do.” A quick pause, “I told you this act would be one you had to live with and you will but do not let yourself believe it has sullied you in some way. Malac would not have even blinked if he had done the same. Why let it bother you so?”

She gulped and finally found her voice. “This sadness I feel threatens to drag me down but part of me has already begun to accept it. Why must the line be so thin?”

“Oh daughter,” Her mother put an arm around her, “Taking life is no easy thing and it shouldn’t be. When it becomes as easy as eating, then a part of us is lost forevermore. But to take a life in the name of life, hard as it is, is necessary. And these feelings that come with it, just mean you have not lost yourself. With the water I found, I managed to give life to those that needed it and without it, my own mother would have passed far sooner than she did. I would not have had you, if the other woman had killed me. This is life.”

There was a shared silence between the two as Toffee contemplated. It was just a part of life, wasn’t it? It shouldn’t be but it was. Mother was right. Malac would have killed them both and not have cared in the slightest. But Toffee realized that a part of her was glad she did care, that she did feel remorse. For it meant that she was far better than him. It would take time but Toffee knew this would not defeat her. She would find beauty in the world still, despite what she had done or what she would do, in the future.

“Thank you mother. I love you.” Toffee said at last, wrapping her own arm around her mother’s waist. She leaned into her and sighed.

“You are loved, never forget that my heart.” Her mother said.

And then, as if in answer to Toffee’s silent thoughts, the sun began to glow.




Teefee sneezed. Toffee sneezed. Tad sneezed. And they kept sneezing as the light grew brighter and brighter. Though this was happening and their eyes were watering and their heads were hurting, none of them could look away. Shadows were banished from their perception. The haze, yes the haze that had always been in the sky, was purged to reveal a deep blue that hid the stars like a blanket. All at once, it was as if they could see. As if they had been blind their entire lives- the grey netherworld burst into color unimaginable. Deep greens. Rich greens. Dry yellows. Warm reds. The earth was littered with browns and grays and rocks that glittered for the first time in their existences.

Their mother was the first to fall to her knees as she wept unbidden. She prayed to the ancestors, she prayed to the great light in the sky, to the wind, yes the warm breeze that came and tickled them and she prayed to all the colors of the earth and she kissed the land and outstretched her arms to the heavens.

The triplets followed her example, so profound was it to be alive in that moment, that all the pain of the day's past were banished. So consuming was this revelation of light, so invoking of what it was to be breathing in the air, blessed as they were- it felt as if they were the ones to be witnessed. So shattered was their worldview that it took a long time to even comprehend that the world had never been dull, it was just that they had been unable to see it as it should have been seen.

They were not so alone on that perch of grass, now that they could see unhindered. The land about them was teeming with life. So too did the animals bask in the new light, so too did some hide and flee from the illumination of the sky. Others chirped and sang and called forth to begin life in this new state. Insects buzzed and took flight, while birds swooped and their plumages radiated iridescently in the sky. Of colors in colors that danced and were joyous to be at least seen and appreciated.

Even the grasses and the shrubs seemed to rejoice, shivering with anticipation and turning to face this new source of nourishment.

All the while Toffee was slack-jawed. Tad’s eyes were wide and his pupils dilated as he looked about. Teefee’s smile was so large despite her blurred vision, for tears were streaking down her face. Untold minutes passed as the family took it all in and then there came the greatest surprise of all.

It was Toffee who finally looked away from the colorful word to look upon her siblings and mother. It was then she broke into a garbled cry, so heavy was her emotion. She could only point at Teefee and Tad and mother.

“I can see you.” she said at last, as they gathered around her in concern. And it was true. Their appearances to one another had always been under the light of the stars or the red glow of a fire. Now and only now, were they able to look at the fine coloring of Toffee’s brown hair, almost hazel in the light now. Or the deep grey with lighter strands that were Tad’s and the dirty white of Teefee’s mane. For she needed a good wash.

They looked upon their mother and they saw the same face but with now an untold warmth that only light could reveal. Her eyes seemed to dance as she too saw her children in vivid tones. They all began to cry and where their tears fell onto the earth, unbeknownst to them, the plants lapped it up and demanded more.

So it was that the family continued on, only an hour or two having passed but bit by bit they began to notice a different change. Fields of flowers and other plants besides the familiar tallgrass were bursting through the soil. Even more color was added to this new tapestry. Pinks and whites, blues and oranges, purples and reds. Even the leaves of shrubs and other leafy plants sprouted with vivid greens tipped with a creamy color and yellows. Here and there, the leaves were glossy and dark or fuzzy and bright.

Teefee was having the time of her life, unable to stay still for too long in one place as she danced and ooo’d and awed at every little thing that caught her interest. She giggled wildly when a caterpillar crawled up her arm and she went eerily silent when a butterfly landed upon her nose. But her smile could be seen throughout.

That left Tad and Toffee to pull the sled and for once, they were content to do so, as they watched their sister enjoy herself.
But it was only when a few more hours passed when Toffee began to notice that the plantlife around them was still growing.

“Are the plants… Growing?” Toffee asked Tad.

Tad looked at her with a quizzal expression. “They’ve been growing, you dolt.”

“No I mean, I know that, it’s just, they haven’t stopped growing? The sled is getting harder to pull brother. The grass once came up to our knees, now it's almost up to our chests. Surely you’ve noticed that.” Toffee said, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I guess now that you mention it, yeah. But that’s probably just because they are basking in the new light. I’m sure it will end.”

It did not end and when they all started sneezing again it wasn’t because of the light. The air had become thick, slowly but surely, with a myriad of pollen. Teefee came back with a runny nose and red rimmed eyes. Even their mother was looking uncomfortable. Toffee kept sniffling and sneezing and Tad kept muttering under his breath about the air quality.

It quickly became too much and to their horror, the colorful world around them began to wither and die. The blessed light had gifted too much of itself and now all would suffer the consequences. The air had grown so thick with pollen that the air was now choking and only by the quick thinking of their mother had they been able to rip off a few thin furs to cover over their faces. Only their eyes would suffer the bite and sting of the air and the blur of their eyes from all the tears that began to stain their faces.

They needed to find shelter but in the open plains, there was little respite and it was becoming harder to see.

A dip in between two hills proved to be their only shot at weathering out this sudden catastrophe. They huddled down, pulling their furs over them into a thick blanket and though it was hot and stifling, it provided a small amount of relief for their eyes and throats.

It had been such a wondrous day of beginnings but now the cold knife of uncertainty had wedged itself back into their hearts. All of them fell asleep and their dreams were not kind.



The True Spring





“It’s started to rain, mother.” Tad said as he pushed the flap to the side and entered the warm, dry tent.

“Your sisters will not be so happy.” Ina chimed back as she worked sewing some furs together. “I imagine we will be seeing them very soon. Best to have some food ready for them, don’t you think?”

“I know I could eat.” Tad said, picking up the family's turtle shell and bringing it over to the fire. “Perhaps a soup?”

“You seem intent upon soup if you are bringing the pot to the fire. Heat up some stones then.” Ina said, not looking away from her work. Tad did as she asked, placing the shell next to the fire. He then stoked the red coals and placed some stones within.

They fell into comfortable silence as Tad prepared water and some herbs while his mother continued with the furs. As Tad threw in some roots and dried meat to the water he heard his mother say, “Will you speak to me, my son, of what saddens your heart?”

He hesitated to speak, his mind mulling over if he should be truthful or keep it to himself. But it would be far too late for any decision, he realized. For his mother was already eying him with suspicion.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. “I asked Misha to come with us. I thought… Well… her duty to the tribe is more important than me.”

His mother remained silent and Tad felt as if he had to fill that silence. His mouth betrayed him. “I loved her, mother. She is sweet and strong and will make for a good chiefess but… Why does my heart ache?” he finished in a quiet whisper. He felt tears begin to roll down his cheeks as the reality of the situation came flooding out all at once. His mother rose and embraced him as she sat down beside her tearful child.

“It isn’t fair.” Tad said, as he let himself be held, His mother began to stroke his hair, the gesture soothing but his sadness gave way to a sudden burst of anger. “Why are we being sent away? Why not others? Why can’t we remain? This is our home mother! The outside world is choked with ash and terrible winds. They send us to our doom and we are supposed to just let it happen?”

He would have kept speaking if not for his mother gripping him tighter and she at last said, “Your heart aches because it has drunk deep from the spring of affection. With it bloomed tender shoots of warmth only another can give. It encompasses not just the heart, but the entire body.” here she let out a deep sigh and hugged him tighter. “When that spring dries, be it for any reason, the warmth turns cold and we are left with a parched soul that is not so easy to quench again.” She kissed his brow, a frequent gesture but one he could not compare with Misha’s own and Tad knew they could not be compared. For his mother’s was a deeper meaning. Something wet jostled him from his thoughts and he realized she was crying.

Tad pulled away to look at her and he felt his heart sadden further. “Mother…?” he said, unsure of what to do.

She gave him a soft smile and pulled him back to her chest. “I weep not for anything that you have done Tad but for the pain you endure. For it is an endurance that only time can overcome. But I know in my own heart that you will. You may not think so right now, but the thought of her will begin to fade, becoming less and less prevalent. Until there comes a day you are no longer saddened when you think of her name. It will be alright, my son.”

Tad knew not what to say to his mother’s words, so he kept quiet, mulling them over as she held him close. It was a comfort he sorely needed. Eventually they parted and with a reassuring head pat, Tad and his mother went back to their respective tasks. He came to the realization that his mother spoke from her own experience with his father. He could not even imagine how hard it had to have been. Much harder than his own hurting.

He let the monotony of stoking the fire keep him focused.

And then his sisters burst into the tent.




Both were soaked. Both looked terrible. Toffee was cut and bleeding. Teefee looked dazed. Tad stood, his own problems banished like smoke in the wind. Toffee’s voice was shaky as a string of words escaped her mouth, “We need to go. We need to go now. We don’t have time. We need to go.”

“Toffee, what’s wrong? What happened?” Ina said, as she rushed to them.

“Don’t touch me!’ Toffee snapped as Ina began to fuss over her wound. Taken aback, their mother’s brow furrowed.

“Toffee?” She tried in a soft voice.

“Why are we just standing here, we need to get moving!” Toffee said, the panic in her voice rising as she began going through her belongings.

“Toffeen!” Their mother shouted. “What is wrong with you!” Teefee flinched at their mother’s voice as Tad approached her with a dry fur. He draped it over his sister as the two watched their mother loom over their frantic sister.

She gripped Toffee’s wrist as the girl stuffed what she could in a pack. This finally seemed to snap whatever mantic state she had been in. All at once she stood and threw herself into their mother’s chest and began to wail. Ina’s own temperament changed and she began to soothe Toffee.

Tad could only look at the shivering Teefee, who seemed to be looking off into the distance, except it was just a dark wall.

“Teefee?” he asked in a soft voice. When he got no reply he decided to snap his fingers in front of her face. This had an immediate effect as Teefee, who blinked and looked at Tad. She tried to say something but became choked up as tears welled in her eyes. Before he knew it, Teefee had buried her face into his chest and was sobbing. Tad frowned as he pulled her close. He had never seen them act like this. What in the ancestor's names had happened?

It was only a little while later that their mother had calmed Toffee down enough to where she could speak. Teefee had become silent and was not speaking.

They all sat by the fire now, both girls leaned upon their mother as Toffee told them what had happened. What she had come across when searching for Teefee. Who she had found and what she had done.

Tad’s blood had begun to boil when Toffee had named the foe. Of course it had been Malac. Of course he would go after Teefee in revenge. But as quickly as his rage had come, it froze when Toffee had choked out she had killed him in an act of rage. Malac… he was dead? He had a burst of conflicting emotions at the thought but knew he would have to reflect on them later.

When Toffee had grown silent, Tad looked at their mother. She wore a mask of neutrality. When the silence stretched on, Tad felt the need to say something, anything.

“Mother…” He began but she silenced him with a a raise of her hand.

“Hush now my son and listen close.” She wrapped her arms around his sister’s shoulder. “Teefeen, Toffeen, you listen as well.” With their formal names spoken, the two nodded. “What has happened is a great sadness but it could not have been prevented. Malac chose this path long ago, when jealousy and hatred crept into his heart. Toffee, you protected your sister from hurt. It was only natural to feel such anger but now you must live with the act, daughter. I do not blame you. I do not hate you. You are both here and that is all a mother can ask for. Now Tad,” She looked to him with a stern gaze, “If the chiefess suspects what happened, Toffee’s heart will be skewered. A life for a life. I will not let that happen. Prepare our things, we are leaving.”

Tad nodded and began to take down the furs.

Meanwhile, he could still hear his mother speaking in hushed tones. “Teefee, my smile, be brave for me. Don fresh clothing and help your brother. And Toffee, my heart, let us look at your cut while we can. We have time yet before they begin to look for him.”

It was practiced work, tearing down the tent. He had done it ever since he was able to help his mother, for his people… Well, the people he had called his people, moved from one area of their home to the next as the stars passed overhead. With Teefee’s help and once Toffee’s cut was bandaged, the work went quicker. They were rained on, of course but by now it was a drizzle, breaking apart so that the stars could be seen. It would be over by the time they left.

Others came and asked what they were doing and their mother handled it with small lies. It was no secret everyone knew who would be cast out after all. So what if they decided to leave now?

When the work was done, they donned their skin packs in silence and put what little they could call their own upon their sled, two sticks held together by more furs. It would be Tad’s duty to pull it and his sister’s would take turns with him. His mother would lead the way and with little fanfare, they set off into the unknown, leaving the Hillgrass tribe behind forevermore. At least, they hoped so. They would head north, make for the river and have it lead the way.

They walked for a few hours in silence before they could be sure none had followed and that they were alone.

“Let us rest for a bit and eat. I do not wish to push you children but we must make distance while we can.” Their mother said, putting down her pack. In the ever twilight of the world, Tad could see her expression was downcast. It hurt her to leave everything she knew behind but she would do it time and time again if it meant keeping her children safe.

With a heavy sigh, Tad dropped the leather that pulled the sled and slumped to the ground. He was tired but he knew his time awake would still be for some time.

His mother passed out some dried jerky and the half finished, and now cold, soup. He ate and his mind began to linger on what had happened to his sisters. He was battered with guilt and anger. If he had just left well enough alone, this would not have happened. He could still see Misha smiling at him in that joyous grove. Just over her shoulder, Malac had paused, eyeing him with contempt. He scowled.

Teefee began to hum a small tune their mother often hummed. Hearing it, she joined in. Tad looked upon Toffee, who now held the same gaze that Teefee had when they first entered their tent. Distant and not entirely there. Tad knew he should say something to her but now was not the time. So he ate and rested and before long, they were off again.




Teefee kept pace with Tad as the two pulled the sled as the stars shone overhead. Usually she pulled with Toffee but her sister was up ahead, talking to their mother. Whatever they were talking about, she hoped it would help. She had never seen Toffee so distraught before and it was all because she herself had wandered like she always did. Would Malac have even found her if she had been closer to Toffee? Probably not and now…

“You’re dragging.” Tad’s voice pulled her back to the present. Indeed, she was falling behind, again.

“Sorry.” she sighed.

“Been a rough few days. Huh Teef?” he asked, turning to her with one of his smirks.

“How can you smirk at a time like this?” Teefee wondered, a bit of an edge to her voice.

“Because Teef, you smile and I smirk.” he said with a bit of gusto. Teefee just stared at her brother and before long, he deflated. “I don’t know what to say to make you smile. Every time you’re sad, I’ve gotten you to smile.”

“Oh.” she said, feeling as if she would cry again.

“It’s all my fault, Teefs. If I had just stayed away from Misha, Malac wouldn’t have gone after you and Toffee… Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot.” The self loathing in his voice dripped and Teefee felt a keen sense of melancholy for her sibling that struck her heart.

“No Tad. Just no. Malac was a hateful soul. With or without you living your life how you chose, and there was nothing wrong with what you chose, he would have found a way to make you hurt. It was no secret he didn’t like any of us when we proved our worth was greater than his.” Teefee recalled the day the adolescents of the tribe were sent off into the surrounding lands to forage and hunt. Malac returned with little, while the triplets had returned with a doe and many berries. “And besides…” she continued, “If I had just stayed near to Toffee-”

“Oh I see.” Her brother cut her off, “We will all try to blame ourselves, won’t we?”

She felt her lips curl into a smile.

“There it is.” Tad smiled back. “Mother is right, you know, Toffee is not to blame and she would say the same about us.”

“I know… It’s just hard.” Teefee rubbed her arm.

“She reminded me of something today, actually.’ Tad said, looking forward.

“What’s that?” Teefee asked.

“The memories of this day will become less and less prevalent as we move on. We will think of it but it will no longer hold such a bite. Things will get better, Teefs.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Teefee also looked forward, to where Toffee leaned upon their mother as they walked. “Let’s hope the worst is behind us.”

It was right then that the world erupted into light.



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