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[IC] When I Lost You (Magic223 and Tsubasa) Page 3

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Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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tsubasa

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"Mmmm," She hummed softly as she rested her head back on his shoulder, "I think I love you too... I don't know...I don't even know what love is..."

She adjusted herself in the bed and sighed, "I want to say I love you... but I don't know if I do... I know the thought of Loki killing you... scared me because if I survived... I didn't know what I would do with myself."

She looked up at him before out the large glass windows into the hall. She saw a wheelchair leaned against the wall and pursed her lips, "I'm tired of being tired... When you feel better... can we go for a walk around the... um..." She blinked a few times trying to gather her thoughts had seemed to run through her fingers like water. She looked at him, "Do you think I love you?"
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was looking at her. He lay there. He wasn't sure if she was making much sense. He wasn't sure how somebody could not know what love was. Even if they were an assianian.

"I don't know what I would have done without you either, And I know I couldn't foregive myself If I was the one that killed you." He lay there and fiddled with her hair.

"Yeah a walk would be great , staying in bed is dull , But we will have to check with the nursed when we do," He knew she had been quite badly hurt.
He hugged her carefully and lay there.
"I.........," he was thinking for a bit. "Its not something I can be sure of, But Loki seemed sure you feel that way about me.' He curled up.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha looked at him as he explained that he thought that she might since Loki thought that she did. She nodded and kissed him quickly and lightly. She gave him a small smile as she relaxed against him, "I'm okay with loving you...."

She snuggled against him as best she could without moving anything that would put her in more pain. She looked up at him, "How's your... um... Head? Did the doctor give you medication? Is it making you feel better? Does your head still hurt?"

She was worried about him but all her thoughts in her head seemed to swim around not letting her focus on one single thing. It was irritating her. The thought of the fact that she was stuck in this bed came across her mind. Her heart rate rose slightly and she shrunk into Clint, letting out a small whimper.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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The Hawk was looking at her "I'm okay with loving you too." He said . He kissed her. He never had reaslised how much he wanted to do that until now. Everything felt just right. He knew she was a bit out of it right now as well.
"Yeah they gave me medicine." He told her "Feels a little better."
He felt calm with her. Clint curled up close to her.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine you were seriously hurt." He wanted her to recover. He closed his eyes. He soon was falling asleep. He looked exhausted a bit. The agent was really in need of sleep.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha sat up on the hospital bed. She had been given the okay to move around the hover carrier as long as she did so in a wheelchair with someone to take her. Clint stood that the side of her bed, she was still in vast amount of pain but she was no longer on morphine and her panic attacks had decreased. She reached out and grabbed Clint's arm as she lifted herself off the bed. She winced as she put pressure on her still healing leg and quickly took a seat in her wheel chair. She closed her eyes tightly and took a moment to calm down as the pain slowly faded. When she was comfortable, she sighed and looked at Barton. She gave him a soft smile, he had been making sure she was getting out of the room often, knowing that she hated being cooped up in one place. She also knew that he felt like he had to make it up to her. She grabbed the small hanger that held her IV and medications and rolled it over to her. She looked up at Clint, "Where are you taking me to today?"
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was looking at her . He was glad she was recovering. He was worried about her still. He knew that it was hard to not worry about her. He felt like it was his fault that she was injured. He helped her up from the bed and into the wheelchair. He was looking at her.
He didn't realize he had done so much damage to her.
"Never realiized I did this much damage." He sighed.

Clint was looking at her "Mmm I don't know, Not that we can got that far, " He had no idea where they could go. His head wasn't hurting him anymore really. He smiled at her. He was glad to just be with her.
The agent was glad she was allowed out of bed now.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha looked up at him and smiled, "Don't worry... It is mainly just the leg now... The bone still have to heal after all," she reached up with her good arm and placed her hand on his neck, "I hardly even have scars. Other than the knife wound on my arm, besides," she pulled him closer for her to kiss, "Scars are sexy."

She laughed and took hold of her hanger again. She thought about where it was that they could go. They could access any floor they wanted but the doctor didn't want them going to far, in case she had another panic attack or something else went wrong. She pursed her lips, "How about a trip around the level, gets me out of the room a little and I don't go stir crazy."

She looked up at him and smiled, "Thank you for taking me out like this... It has to be rather boring for you."
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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"I hope so," He really was trying to make it up to her after all he had done. Even if he hadn't been himself then. He still felt like he needed to make it up to her. He knew that she wasn't bothered.
He chuckled when she said the scars were sexy. He kissed her "Yes they are."

He wheels her out of the room. "That will do." He said. He was glad that things seemed to be going a bit better than they had been. He walked by her. He couldn't wait for her to be back on her feet though.

"Ah don't worry, its fine," Clint knew he could be doing other things. But he cared about her. He didn't seem to mind.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha smiled as he pushed her in the wheelchair. Having to drag the hanger with all her medication made it quite difficult to leave the room on her own. So, she was thankful for those who popped in and took her out of the room for a little bit. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to get up and walk. She couldn't wait until the doctor deemed her well enough to go higher floors. It was killing her, not talking to the others about Loki. The doctor and Clint both refused to allow anyone to discuss Loki with her, not wanting her to suffer another panic attack. However, she didn't know where he was, what he was doing and she was scared that he was going to take Clint again... That he was going to make him kill her.

She relaxed in her chair and looked up at Clint, "Why did it take you getting taken over by some evil god bent on killing me and me almost dying for us to realize our feelings?" She asked, laughing a little at the absurdity of the question.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was silent as he walked , and wheeled her, He realized how close he had come to killing her, He knew he couldn't have coped if he did end up doing that.
He loved her so much.
"I....I realized how close I came to losing you and I don't know... Guess made me brave enough to say it." He wasn't sure why else. If it hadn't happened would he still have admited it? he wasn't sure.

When Natasha was finally discharged. Clint was glad to not be stuck around a hospital area. It was horrible being in such a place. He just wanted to get back to normal.
He was getting panic attacks and still seemed a bit tramatized at moments. He was buried under the covers of his bed seeming scared. He felt like Loki was going to come for him. He screamed when he thought he saw Loki but was imagining it.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha was walking through the halls, nightmares keeping her from falling asleep. She limped slightly into Clint's room to see him, curled up in his bed. She pursed her lips, he was scared. When the worry of her passed, his own nightmares about Loki sprung up. She lifted his blankets up and climbed into the bed behind him. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and kissed his skin. She rested her cheek on his shoulder. She sighed and looked up at his face, "How are you?" She asked quietly.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was looking at her ,his face pale and full of fear "I thought... I thought Loki was in here... seems I'm just going crazy." He whispered, The agent wrapped his arms around her. He closed his eyes trying to push aside all the bad thoughts in his mind. His body hadn't stopped shaking. He knew he needed to relax.
He just couldn't.

"When are things ever going to feel normal. I close my eyes and I see Loki, I don't want to sleep anymore lately." He looked at her. He hoped things would be ok .
Loki had really screwed up his mind it felt like.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha sighed and relaxed against him as he wrapped his arms around her. She shook her head, "Things aren't ever going to go back to normal... You know that," She smiled, "If they did, you wouldn't be having nightmares and I wouldn't curled up in bed with you..."

She started to play with his short hair with the hand she wasn't lying on, "And you aren't going crazy. Unless you are suggesting that I'm going crazy as well," She teased. She looked at him, "Close your eyes... And just think about me... and how much I love you... And how I will be right here if you get scared again."
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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"Yeah... Its just I hate this," Clint knew things would be far from normal. His head had been so messed with. The agent was curled up agaisnt her. He tried to relax his breathing.
He really hated it, expecially when his nightmares got bad enough to cause him to throw up. He knew that at least tonight it wasn't that bad, He sighed.

"No your not crazy, But I do keep seeing things even when I am awake." The Hawk looked at her. He tried to relax more and close his eyes. He was feeling rather tired.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha shook her head, "You aren't alone in that," She kissed the top of his head as he closed her eyes. She didn't fall asleep with it, wanting to make sure that he was okay. After some time, she too began fall asleep. With his arm around her, she felt comfortable, which might have been strange to anyone else. After all, he had nearly killed her, not to long ago. But she knew that he didn't want to and there was only one scenario in which he would try again. Which meant she had to keep Loki as far away from him as possible. If he was this torn up after almost killing her, she couldn't imagine how he would react if her succeeded. She sighed mumbled, "I love you, Clint," Before her train of thought derailed entirely and she drifted off to sleep.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was looking at her. He snuggled up to her. He knew that she was right. He just tried to remain calm.
"MMM yeah, sometimes my nightmares make me feel sick and I throw up when I wake." He sighed. The agent knew that he needed decent sleep.
He closed his eyes. He fell asleep as soon as he saw that she was asleep. That seemed to help him feel calm enough.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha had requested that she and Clint be permitted off the hover carrier, to allow them both time to recover. Fury obliged and set them up in a secure cabin in the Alps, to stay until they were ready. When they got inside, Natasha immediately built a fire before stripping away the snow covered outer wear they wore to fend off the cold on their little hike. She looked back at Clint and smiled. She walked over to him, only the slightest limp remaining in her gait, and helped him out of his coat before tossing it aside. She looked up at him before her hands found the back of his neck and his lips found her's.

Breaking the kiss after sometime, she grinned, "We should eat."
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint was looking at her, He was relaxed on the bed. He knew that he needed to take it easy for awhile. His head wasn't clear and things were making him jumpy quite easily. He knew that he needed to try get to back to his old self. He wasn't sure if any of that would be possible. They had both been through too much. He knew that nightmares and visions might bother him for awhile or the rest of his life.
He just hoped they were safe and far away from Loki.

He had to try and not focus on Loki, or he just couldn't get through his day as easily. He wanted to just have a normal day. He knew that was sometimes far too hard. He looked at her. "Yeah I suppose." He hadn't really been eating lately.
He knew he should, he was just so messed up and didn't feel hungry sometimes.
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by tsubasa
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Natasha walked into the kitchen and looked around. The cabin hadn't been used in sometime but it seemed clean enough, so hopefully someone kept the cupboards stocked. She pursed her lips and started opening them. After searching through every cupboard, she grabbed to can of what seemed to be ravioli and emptied them into a bowl before nuking them. Pulling them out of the microwave, she grabbed a couple forks and walked back into the room where Clint lay on the bed. She looked at him, "You know, I should really stop feeding you in bed."

She laughed and handed him the bowl of meat filled noodles and climbed onto the bed next to him. She stabbed a noddle and started to eat it slowly, "Do you still love me?"
Hidden 12 yrs ago Post by Magic223
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Clint sits up. He knows he should try spend less time in bed, He is just so miserable. He had tears in his eyes. He was clearly still scared and messed up from what happened. He just lay there waiting for her to make them something to eat.
"I know... I should get up instead of laying here," He knew he just felt safer in bed.
"Guess i feel safer in bed."

He takes the bowl and begins eating "Thank you ." He was hoping food would help him feel better. He was looking at her "Of course I still love you." He finished what he was eating. He put the bowl down and he kissed her.
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