[IC] When I Lost You (Magic223 and Tsubasa)

[tsubasa]

Natasha looked at her partner, he seemed a little more than just distraught. She reached out and took his free hand with her uninjured arm. She pulled him closer to the bed to forcing him to sit down. She gave him a small smile, "Of course, I know you wouldn't. But you were supposed to take the out... You didn't have to say it was you..."

She leaned back and stared at the ceiling for a moment. There was only one thing that was haunting her about what had happened, was the kiss. She looked to the door when she heard shuffling to see the Captain walk into the room. He smiled at her, "They... told me you were awake."

"I am," Natasha said with a smile. She released Clint's hand and looked at Steve, "What can I help you with, Captain?"

Steve laughed and shook his head, "Absolutely nothing. You are on bed rest and I'm not going to be the one who pulls you out of it," He looked at Clint. He wasn't sure how he felt about Clint. Not after what had happened and how he had basically been a watch dog at Natasha's door since they got here. He returned his attention back to Natasha, "I'll leave you two... You should get some rest."

Natasha nodded, "I feel like I already have," He left then and she looked up at Clint, "How long was I out for?..."

[Magic223]

Clint let her pull him closer. He seemed surprised she wasn't mad with him. He still was sure that she would be later. He sits down "I feel so sick at the thought of what I did." He whispered.
"Damn Loki." he growled. He had been happy until that damn god showed up.
He was tired and distraught. He knew that he would need to rest.

He looked around noticed Steve Rogers walk in. He had his head down. He wasn't sure if the rest of the team were mad with him . "Hey......," He refused to look Steve in the eyes.He knew that he couldn't change what had happened.
He wanted to make it up to everybody.
The man yawned and closed his eyes. "Captian is right... you'll need to rest up and awhile... I mean I was out some of that time too."

[tsubasa]

Natasha looked at Clint and nodded, "Right..." She took his hand in her own again, "I'm sorry about that.... Cognitive Recalibration... I'm just glad it worked."

She squeezed his hand lightly. A moment after, the drugs seemed to kick in again, her eyes grew heavy and soon closed. Her head lulled to the side as she quickly fell asleep.

She awoke some hours later in a cold sweat, biting her tongue, trying not to scream. She tried to move to find her hand were restrained to the bed. She started to tug at them trying to make them release her. As she did the fear of hanging in that bloody freezer and Clint slowly walking toward her, filled her mind. She fighting against the restraints, freaking out. A nurse ran in as her heart rate started to elevate. She could have handled the image of her being trapped but it was Clint that threw her into a panic. The woman held her down against the bed, trying to calm her as she called for a doctor.

[Magic223]

Clint had a nasty headache. He didn't answer he had fallen asleep. He looked rather tired as he was laying there. He knew that he needed the rest, He snored deeply.

Clint wasn't asleep long, he started tossing and turning. He was having bad dreams. He was sweating in his sleep. He moaned and soon awoke gasping and panting.
He rubbed his eyes. He saw that Natasha was panicking. He tried to calm her "Tasha... Its alright you are safe." He whispered. He wondered if she thought she was still trapped.

"Your not trapped your in the hospital bed." Clint reached forward and held her hand. He was hoping she would calm down. He hated seeing her like this."
He knew she must be freaked out after what happened.

[tsubasa]

Dr. Morrison ran in when the nurse called for help. She grabbed a syringe and ran over to the bed. She looked at Clint as he tried to calm the woman down. She looked at her, "Natasha, it's alright. You were pulling your IV out, we had to restrain you... Now that your awake," she looked at the nurse who quickly ran to the other side of the bed and released that woman's wrist as the doctor did the same on her side.

Her wrists free and Clint not looking at her like he wished to kill her seemed to calm her down. Dr. Morrison placed the syringe back on the small table and looked at Clint, "If she starts to freak out again... Call us. We don't want her breaking something or tearing her stitches."

She nodded and left the room as Natasha lay there trying to calm down. She held Clint's hand tightly in her own as she stared at the ceiling. After a moment, she closed her eyes, "How happy Loki would have been to see that..." she took a deep breath, "That was exactly what he wanted..." she opened her eyes and looked at Clint, "Why did you kiss me?"

[Magic223]

Clint was looking at the nurse. He nodded. He didn't want Natasha hurting herself or breaking the sticthes. He was shaking. The man knew he needed to calm down.
He was so worried about the damage he had caused.
Clint lays back down and sighed, He tried to relax,

"I.......," Clint went quiet, He didn't know what to say when she asked why he kissed her "Loki knows how you feel about me I think and He knows how I feel about you.. he was in my head."
He rubbed his aching head. "He wanted me to mess with your feelings... But I love you."
Barton spoke quietly. His head was in his hands. He just looked miserable.

[tsubasa]

Natasha looked at him as he explained himself. She was quite surprised when he said that he loved her. She hadn't been expecting that. Nor had she been expecting the strange feeling of warmth that filled her and made her feel like a child. She bit her lip as she watched him, his head in his hands and after a moment, started to sit up. It wasn't till she was about halfway through the motion that she realized how much it hurt. Her head swam, her arm screamed, her sides burned, the cuts on her face stung, and her leg throbbed. Wincing through it all, she sat up. She placed her hand under Clint's chin and made him meet her eye. She smiled at him for a moment before she leant in for a kiss. It didn't last long. Her body was crying for her to lay back down and as she broke the kiss, she did just that.

Her free hand still shook, while the other clung to Clint's, her heart rate was still above normal. But since she woke up, she felt like she was actually okay. She think somewhat through the painkillers dripping into her body and it was easy to know that Clint wasn't going to hurt her. She moved over on the bed slightly, making a small amount of room, "Lie down... You look awful."

[Magic223]

Clint could see she was in pain. He leaned foward as well and kissed her. He was glad she wasn't mad . He didn't want her to try sit up when she was in pain. "Tasha take it easy you are in pain." He sounded worried.
He didn't want anything happening to her. He knew that she was able to heal better if she rested. The man was worried about her. He knew that he was worrying too much, but it was hard not to when he had caused the injures.

He was holding onto her hand still. He snorted "I look terrible? What about you? Your injured." He was smirking. He seemed rather amused. He knew that he would need time to mentally recover from it all.
He lies down by her and runs a hand through her hair.
Barton was feeling really dizzy , his head felt like it had been seriously messed with. Clint was shivering a bit.

[tsubasa]

Natasha looked at him and laughed, saying that due to her own state, she should not be telling him that he looked awful. She sighed, "And I'm sure you are struggling with what you did and I did hit your head pretty hard," She smiled when he laid down with her. She closed her eyes as he ran his hand through her hair. After a moment, she moved toward him and attempted to find the most comfortable place curl up next to him without disturbing any of her injuries. Which was rather difficult. She looked up at him, "Have you seen a doctor? I hit you quite hard... You smelled like vomit earlier and you were unconscious for some portion of time. You also seem to have a headache and be a little dizzy... Those are all signs of a concussion..."

She reached her good hand up and touched his face, "I want to know you're alright..."

[Magic223]

Clint was laying there and he sighed, He was trying to just not focus on what happened and push away his pains. "I am tramuatized after Loki messed with my head and I feel sick from that and from hurting you. Think the thought of hurting you made me throw up. Though I havent been checked for a concussion no... I was too worried about you."
He knew Natasha was worried about him, he was tired and closed his eyes.
The man was shivering. "I never want to hurt you again." He lays a head on her gently without hurting her. He knew he had been unconnious and hit rather hard. But it was no bother to him compared to nearly been close to killing her.

Clint looked pale and he felt like vomiting. He tried to push the thoughts of what happened out of his head. But he knew he might be feeling ill from a concussion too now that he thought about it . He didn;t want Natasha worrying.

[tsubasa]

"Clint...." Natasha said softy as he rest his head on her's, "You should get it checked out... It will only take a minute I'm sure.... You won't even have to leave the room..."

She sighed and placed her hand on his chest, "I can be sure that it sickens you that you did all of that... But you weren't in your right mind... That isn't your fault. Besides, we can think of it as... Loki saw that I was the person that it would hurt you most to kill... Not your family or anyone else... And that's kind of a sadistic kind of sweet. That I mean that much to you, that he went to all that trouble to hurt you. That was his goal... It was to hurt you, don't let him win..."

She reached over a pushed the call button and within seconds a nurse was in the room. Natasha look at him, "Can you get someone to make sure that Agent Barton doesn't have a concussion?"

[Magic223]

"I want to sleep more." Clint whispered. He felt miserable and knew he didn't feel it when he was sleeping. He was cuddled up with her. He knew that he wasn't going to want to leave her side for awhile. He knew sleepiness was likely part of the concussion.

"I know I wasn't in my right mind, it just I still did it, " He didn't want to let Loki win by trying to hurt him. His body kept trembling. The agent knew he wasn't himself. He had to try and be strong. He knew Loki would just be glad to see him suffering.
Sitting up, Clint thinks he might throw up and grabbed a contanior that was near by. He coughed and threw up. He then held his head. He was feeling miserable from the pain. He wondered when that pain would go away.
He sat shaking and waiting to see what would happen.

"Ughh my head," The agent moaned. Clint was glad to be in the right frame of mind. Even if his head was hurting him badly. He seemed pale and dizzy. He flopped back into the bed. He curled up. "Ok maybe you might be right Tasha."

[tsubasa]

Natasha winced when Clint lopped back onto the bed, causing her to bounce slightly. She looked at him and shook her head, "Of course I'm right."

She looked at the nurse, who nodded and left the room. Shortly, after Dr. Morrison came in and smiled at the two of them, "Alright Clint. If you could just sit up for me..." once her hand she looked at his eyes before shining a light into them. She tested a few other things and asked him a couple questions before she nodded, "So, you have concussion...
It isn't too severe as you don't seem to have any kind of memory loss... Feel free to lie back down and I'll get a nurse to bring you some tylenol for the headache and something to help keep your food down."

She walked around to Natasha, "While I'm here..." She shone the same light into Natasha's eyes before she grabbed a needle, "We didn't want to take any blood for tests before due to your serve blood loss but... I'm going to steal some right now and see if I can run some tests to ensure that nothing else is wrong," She stuck the needle in Natasha's arm and the red head looked away. She hated needles. She waited until the nurse taped her arm up before she looked back and cringed. Once she had left the room, Natasha looked at Clint, "Now, was that so hard?"

[Magic223]

Clint was looking at the doctor, He let them check him over and he answered what questions he could, He seemed rather tired, He knew that he would be ok now. The god had worn him out after messing with his mind.
He looked at Dr Morrison. "Thank you." he knew he needed to rest and medicine to ease his headache.
The agent was feeling weak. He knew that he had been hit rather hard in the head.

Clint looked at Natasha. He sighed "I know it wasn't hard, I just have been more concerned with you." he didn't seem to worry about his own health when she was injured. He hugged her and closed his eyes.
He looked very tired, He was trying to relax. , but he couldn't seem to. He decided to just wait till medicine was in his system. He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep or relax till the pain in his head was eased.

[tsubasa]

Natasha rested her head against Clint as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt tired lying in that bed unable to move or go anywhere else. Not to mention all the medication that had her on. It wasn't long for her to fall asleep yet again in Clint's arms. She hoped, as she drifted off, that she wouldn't have to wake again in a cold sweat.

The nurse came in shortly after and noticed the sleeping woman. She smiled and walked over to Barton and handed him a bottle of small pills, "Two every four hours or as needed. No less that two hours in between," she whispered. She walked to the other side of the bed and hung a bag on the stand next to Natasha's bed. As she hooked up the clear fluid filled bag, she looked at Clint, "We are putting her on Morphine. We were hoping that we wouldn't have to as it does cause a few unwanted side effects but we are hoping in the low dose we are giving her that she'll be fine and it will help keep her from pulling out her IVs. We don't want to make her feel like she is trapped, so we are hoping that this will keep her calm enough to prevent anymore panic attacks when she wakes up. However, she might be a little... well... out of it," She looked the two of them over, Natasha had to lie on her back which, even when she moved over left little room for Barton, "Would you like me to grab you a pillow or blanket."

[Magic223]

Clint was holding her. He saw that she was started fall asleep. He knew that she must be tired. He was trying to keep her comforted. He didn't want her to wake in panic again. He sighed deeply.
"I'm here Natasha." He whispered.

When the nurse came in Clint looked up. "Oh ok... Thanks." He takes his medicine. He lay back down again. The medicine he knew would help his head, He was looking at the nurse when she set up morphine. "Ah alright... I am worried about her panicing when she wakes, Hopefully she doesn't now." He felt like it was his fault she was waking in panic as he had been the one to handcuff her up. Even if it had been when Loki had him under control.
He knew the Morphine would make her a bit out of it, but he would rather that, than her panicing and getting hurt. "I'd rather that then her panicking and hurting herself, I can handle her being a bit out of it."
He yawned a bit and lay there "Pillow and blanket be great." He rubbed his eyes. He wanted to sleep.

[tsubasa]

The nurse smiled and nodded, "Sure thing, take your medication and I'll be right back."

It took her a few minutes to returned with the pillow and blanket. She handed him the pillow before throwing the blanket over him. She tucked the two of them under it together, not worrying about the woman getting overheated as the room was rather cold. She smiled at Clint, "If either of you need anything, with Natasha not being fully coherent, I want you to know that there is a call button on both sides of the bed and then the one for Natasha that hangs slightly off the bed. If something happens and you are worried at all, feel free to push it and one of us will be here soon."

Natasha whimpered in Clint arms, her hand balling his shirt into her fist. The nurse sighed, "Nightmares and hallucinations, sadly can be a side effect... So there may still be panic attacks but they will be ones of the drugs conceiving and she will be less likely to hurt herself," She nodded her head to him, "She is in good hands, I promise you."

With that she left the room and turned out the light to allow them to sleep.

[Magic223]

Clint nodded. He was looking rather tired. He closed his eyes when he was curled up in blankets. He looked at the nurse "Alright thank you." He knew that he would have to watch out for Natasha.
He was a bit warmer now he was curled up in blankets.
Barton heard her whimpering and he held her closer, he was trying to calm her down. He wished that he could comfort her better than he was. He though closed his eyes a bit and relaxed.

When Clint awoke later, He looked around the room. He had been asleep for four hours. He was sure that he needed more medicine now. He takes some medicine and lays back down. He checked to see how Natasha was doing.
"I'm here Natasha." He whispered.
He hugged her close and he hummed.

[tsubasa]

Natasha mumbled something incoherently when Barton whispered that he was there. After a moment, her eyes opened as she stared at his shirt. It wasn't until she took a deep breath that she looked around the rest of the room. Her body felt numb of any pain, which was strange, since she went to bed slightly uncomfortable. She looked up at Barton again and smiled softly, "Say I love you once and we end up sleeping together... I must be rather sleazy."

She giggled a little and reached up, starting to play with her cannula that hung under her nose. She made a face, "I don't like this... It's uncomfortable... and I take it off?"

She lowered her arms quickly and winced holding her bandaged upper arm, "That huuuurt."

She quieted down for a moment and just sat there hold her arm, staring at the wall. Her eyebrows knitted together, "Do you really love me?"

[Magic223]

Clint was looking at her . He blushed hearing her "I wanted to make sure you were ok, plus not feeling the best." he lay there with her "Remind me to not let Loki take over my head again and then won't need you to whack me in head."
He smiled lazily.
He found himself feeling a bit dizzy still.

"MMM I think you should leave it." He told her. Seeing her giggle and such. He realized she was out of it. He only wished for her to recover fast so she could come out of the hospital. It was his fault she was laying here.
He sighed and looked down for a moment. The guilt was still eating him up.
The agent was looking up again when she spoke. "Of course I meant it." He sounded serious.