Getting Your Bleep Together When You're Struggling [aka "how do writing when am a basket case"]

[Mariana Collie]

Usually some basic advice like practicing and preparation techniques would suffice for a writer of average anxiety, inexperience or other issues. Thing is, I have to call the severity of the situation into question when I struggle to write out a discussion forum post. For example. The grammar here may look okay, but I've corrected it many times already before getting to this sentence. I also spent some time holding down a single letter and spazzing out.

I don't want to get too in depth, but I have personal conditions that lead to things like spazzing out/blacking out/memory issues/anxiety. This makes things especially depressing when I'm an older and experienced writer who spent nights at the keyboard pumping out only to find myself in these recent dry years. It's gotten so bad I've forgotten basic writing rules that I used to know by heart. Things that once made my writing decent but now plague me as I manually go back to recheck everything ten times for embarrassment.

Okay, maybe this IS getting a little too personal.

Let's focus on the discussion I aim for. Writing here can also mean roleplaying, obviously.

1) Do you like to write but struggle to get started, finish or with the process itself? What motivates you to do it despite the struggle?
2) Any anxieties about what you write? What techniques help you to feel more confident?
3) If you have memory issues (or not?), any skills or processes to not lose valuable info?
4) Did you ever take a break from writing for a long time? What motivated you to come back? Suggestions for someone else to get in practice?
5) General suggestions for both newbies and oldies to improve their skills.

[BrokenPromise]

- I am not struggling when I roleplay. Or I guess I should say the most interesting things happen when I'm struggling. I struggle when something happens that doesn't allow thing to progress exactly the way I envisioned. Though finding workarounds for such things is part of the fun for me. With writing longer stories (not RPing) I struggle with content. I have a good story, and I struggle with finding ways to make it longer. It always feels like I'm adding fluff that serves to weaken whatever I'm writing. This is probably why I don't write novels.

- I've been writing for a long time, and there really isn't anything that makes me feel anxious. I did stop writing for a few years, and I was wondering if I still "had it," but most if it came back pretty quickly. Some things just never leave you.

- I do not have "memory issues" but I do keep a folder filled with information I might forget. I've found myself doing that less and less, unless it's something extremely convoluted like the murder plots in my RP.

- I took a break from writing after all of my old RP buddies basically quit without saying anything. I had convinced myself for a long time that I had fallen out of love with writing. But I eventually realized I needed an outlet for my creativity that videogames and movies couldn't fill. Role playing made me rediscover my love for the hobby.

- Best advice I can give is not to be such a perfectionist. You'll learn more writing a hundred posts than trying to write one post perfectly. You'll learn more writing a thousand stories than trying to write one perfectly. Do try your best to put out good work, but we can get caught up on the stupidest things sometimes. Once I was stuck on a single line of dialog for an hour because I couldn't make it sound quite as dramatic as I wanted to. That isn't good for anyone.

[Kuro]

1) Do you like to write but struggle to get started, finish or with the process itself? What motivates you to do it despite the struggle?

I can churn a post out like its nothing if I'm not busy or burnt out. If we're talking about actual book writing, I caved in quickly with that.

2) Any anxieties about what you write? What techniques help you to feel more confident?

While not really an anxiety but more me being picky, I have this subconscious pull in the back of my head to make my paragraphs equal in lines (according to my computer resolution) and don't leave dialogue at the end without fluff after it. Thankfully I've started to pull away from this, but it was something that's bugged me for ages.

Anyway:

I often do most of my post writing within a test thread on the Guild, allowing me to save or type later without actually having to post my IC post in the thread. Having a few people roll around either stalking me or wishing to write with me has boosted my confidence. Hell, I have a loyal group for whenever I reboot one of my RPs that didn't last too long.

3) If you have memory issues (or not?), any skills or processes to not lose valuable info?

Honestly, I have had memory issues as of late, but they're rather minor and don't involve RPG. In regards to RPG, I try to keep everything I want to keep/write down in notepad files on my computer, leaving me with a ton of text files.

4) Did you ever take a break from writing for a long time? What motivated you to come back? Suggestions for someone else to get in practice?

I didn't really "leave," more so awkwardly float around until my burn out wore off. If anything like that happens, I would honestly say do something other than writing. Give yourself chance to recuperate, otherwise you'll end up hating what you write if you end up forcing yourself.

5) General suggestions for both newbies and oldies to improve their skills.

Night owl? Write early in the morning. Early bird? Write late in evening. While I hate waking up early and would rather sleep, some of my best ideas have come early in the morning.

[Lady Absinthia]

1) Do you like to write but struggle to get started, finish or with the process itself? What motivates you to do it despite the struggle?
Accountability. In the Rps I Gm, I have counters that simply state that you must post every so many days or get kicked. I hold myself to my own rules. I post - end of story. It might suck but I am accountable to my Rpers and they are accountable to me. Sure this is a hobby but we pledged our time and effort. It speaks volumes if people break that. So I don't. Having that accountability and holding myself to it usually allows me to power through no matter how bad shit is. (And it has been bad - Assault, illness, etc.)

2) Any anxieties about what you write? What techniques help you to feel more confident?
I really don't have that issue anymore. Granted over 30 years doing this you kind of get over your insecurities and move along to the "zero fucks given" motto. I used to though and I just kind of used them to my advantage back then. (In other words I made characters that had the same anxieties I did and I just wrote as myself for a time.) It actually helped on both ends of the spectrum.

3) If you have memory issues (or not?), any skills or processes to not lose valuable info?
I use an RP Journal currently, used to use PM's to myself. I have an agenda that people use for their daily and weekly tasks that has been repurposed for RP. Each RP has it's own section, when I read posts I take notes of what I need to reply to. I have quick card Cs's for each character that gives me their traits, looks, fears, skills all for quicker references. It all is in one place for easy and quick access that I keep with me at all times. So net or no net, I can still keep everything together and organized and ready for when I need to post.

4) Did you ever take a break from writing for a long time? What motivated you to come back? Suggestions for someone else to get in practice?
God yes, been burned out several times. Coming back was easy, I just got the itch again and needed to scratch it. Coming back, I say jump. Don't think, just jump right in. Like getting into a cold pool on a hot day. The longer you take to get in the harder it is. Just jump in, scream, and then continue.

5) General suggestions for both newbies and oldies to improve their skills.
Keep trying no matter how far you come. Leave ego at the door. Close mouth, open mind.

[Mariana Collie]

I want to thank you all for the input! In here I have found several helpful advices, some of which I already do (write down plans and info in text docs, organized into folders for example, using my own flaws in characters)...but that leads to a rather important discovery after reading your posts: I really shouldn't be so worried.

While disorders and memory loss are embarrassing in person, it doesn't always affect my writing or whether I'm willing to just buckle down and have a good time. I wasn't really feeling sorry for myself (way too used to it for that), but I'd say my life has kinda revolved around my problems to the point I felt they were the basis of my world...not necessarily! I've noticed that I'm far more composed on here than real life and I should take advantage of that based on the whole reason I want to do this again: it's fun and relaxing. It should help me in more ways than one to let the writing beast loose despite struggles.

You guys reminded me this isn't some sort of test to prepare for, you guys just "do it" for the most part. It's a beloved second nature, and I'd like to get to that point too. So thanks again. Maybe I wasn't really fishing just for writing advice, but also fishing for a confidence booster: last night I tried to get started but the thought of making a char or something made me nervous. Will people hate me, or will they hate what I write? Well, it's two separate things isn't it. And like I realized, it's not a test or a big deal. It's okay. The practice will help that anxiety at the very least.

I hope that others can find some useful tips about writing in this thread as well. So if anyone else has thoughts, feel free.