Avatar of Bluetommy
  • Last Seen: 1 yr ago
  • Joined: 11 yrs ago
  • Posts: 2208 (0.56 / day)
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  • Username history
    1. Bluetommy 9 yrs ago
    2. ██████████ 11 yrs ago
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Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current I remember being on this website all the time. Where does the time go
1 like
6 yrs ago
Buying GF with Fall Guys crowns please pm me if interested
1 like
6 yrs ago
I'm going to beat you to death
6 yrs ago
Today on bottom gear
6 yrs ago
Dear diary, I shat myself to destroy the libs.
2 likes

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Most Recent Posts

I think we should decide to make the bag into a stylish pair of pants. I mean, we can't run around pantsless.


Looking down at your torn and ripped jeans, you decide that perhaps you need a change, you look at your money, then to the nearest clothing shop, back to the money, back to the shop, shop, money, shop, money...

BAG! You thrust your legs through the now empty bag and tie it at the waist. Lookin' good! Now you truly are the most stylish hobo in the city. You get a few odd looks, but you took fashion studies in college, you know how cool you look, and that is super fuckin' cool dude, like wow.

You have lost: -A BAG (AWESOME)
-DISGUSTING FASHION

You have gained: -NEW PANTS (STYLISH AF)
-FASHION GOD

See a large sack of money fall from the sky rolled a three and a six


Suddenly, you hear a loud whistling sound coming from above you, you awake just in time to take a massive sack of money to the face. Thankfully, you are unhurt by this, other than a large lump on your forehead. Picking up the money in your hand, you look it over. You never much paid attention in physics, but this usually wasn't supposed to happen.

You hold the money up and shake it, it sounded like there was nothing inside. You feel stupid for thinking a god-given money bag would contain money in coins, but hey, you're rich all of a sudden, that's a plus.

You have gained: -DOSH
-A BAG (AWESOME)

𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓶


Liam smiled at Colette as he noticed her standing behind the opened door. Lovely, someone else as assurance should this go badly, he stared at the woman as she spoke, imagining how glorious it would be to deposit four rounds right in her head. He fantasized silently, a larger and larger smile creeping over his lips, he imagined the open gasping face she would make as her death came in an instant, the blood that would pour down her face and cloak her in a lovely splatter of deep crimson. Of course, he didn't act on this, no man of class would, instead he slid his dagger from his belt and spun it skillfully under the table as he feigned paying attention to her speech.

He managed to catch the sob story, realizing that his smile was perhaps mistimed. Oh well, he supposed, she was practically shaking as the ratio of assassin to congresswoman got ever more in favor of the former. He could do whatever he wanted and she could do nothing. He reveled in that power, his smile twisting as it attempted to consume the rest of his face. The sob story was a good one, she truly seemed like she cared, not that Liam cared, maybe if he was one of those Familia pansies he would have given it a second thought, but all Liam saw right now was a desperate woman needing a contract.

In other words, a good meal for the bank account.

Standing up, he slowly walked around his desk, slinking slowly, coiled as if ready to strike, tracing the now revealed knife across the wood. He pulled it up to the light and examined it a moment.

"Please, do not pound desks, the other clientele may be annoyed," he said, slightly annoyed by her outburst. "You see, if it was me, I'd do what this person wanted, of course, I'm also a brilliant assassin who very much enjoys the soft, foul smelling underbelly of our fine city," he pushed his hair back with a hand.

"I honestly don't care about a few stray children, it seems callous, I know, but if they all died tomorrow I wouldn't lose any sleep. If you want compassion go elsewhere, but if you want this person dead, well, what're you willing to pay? The more money you give, the longer he takes to die, that's what you want, right?" He said quickly, leaving almost no time to breathe as he toyed with her, attempting to appeal to her anger to drive up the price of the hit.

"Perhaps I'm smitten, you know, a woman after mine own heart. Knowing that you're so kind, so loving, even to the point where you would murder to protect your loved ones, it would be impossible not to fall in love. If I had a ring I'd ask you to marry me, we'd get rid of those pesky children and retire to my bedroom where we'd waste away the hours... reading," he teased coldly. The words came from a place of truth, though Liam's libido wasn't restricted to just her, much to his chagrin in some areas, and less in others.

@KiwiBaer
So let's play a game

The rules are simple, roll two d6s (Use dis site here: random.org/dice) state whatever you want to happen, and no matter how absurd, no matter how completely off the wall insane, as long as you get above four, it will succeed. If it is below four, you die in a needlessly cinematic manner. Please use the dice responsibly, I don't want to see five twelves in a row.

First response selects the action.

Let's do this.




You are currently sleeping on a bench, it's midday and the sun is shining directly into your face. You snort and awake, then remember that you are homeless and fall back asleep.

You have gained: -NO LIFE
-NO MONEY
-DISGUSTING FASHION
-SCRAGGLY BEARD

Wat do?
I won't steal ace because I'm not an ass, I think I'll do scanner.
@ChaoticFox *Cracking knuckles intensifies*
There'd better be a zeppelin boss battle.
I'm alive.
There we go, style himself has arrived.
𝓛𝓲𝓪𝓶


Liam had been having a simple day.

He had woken up, showered, as usual. Put on his makeup slowly, precisely brushing away imperfections as he whistled that tune he had heard the day before. It was some disco thing, he didn't know, it had been caught in his head and no manner of bashing against the wall could dislodge it.

The next few hours were spent at sabre, his one love, though epee still had a grasp on him that was indefinable. A good day at sabre left you breathless at the end of it. A bad day left you clutching at your chest as you coughed up liquids that probably came from somewhere around your ankle. This was a bad day for Liam. Thankfully his face remained unmolested, reapplying his makeup would have been a hassle and a half. He really needed to get on a treadmill sometime soon, his stamina had taken quite a hit from his "off week".

Speaking of fat and lazy, Liam had to deal with corporate manners. He wouldn't have started a legitimate business if he had known about all the nonsense he had to deal with, though the boutique was such an obvious front that it burned him inside to think of ever leaving it as it had been. So he tossed on a lovely blue number with frilled sleeves and high boots, a pair of white gloves and a feathered hat to complete it. He loved tailors, they didn't ask questions when you asked for a pinstripe gambeson with a v-neck for Christmas. Fashion sense? Who needs that when you're rich and you can kill anyone who gives a damn. He queued up a new shelf for some reason and put down a few dollars on the stock market before retiring to his desk to devour strawberry licorice and have some wine. That was about as casual as his day got.

Then he shot a man five times in the spine, dumped his body in the river and had a lovely chat with his wife. He murdered her too because witnesses were against professional code. He would call himself a disgusting pig if he wasn't so damn beautiful. Oh well, more money for the bank account he supposed. Then he went to Avia's territory and left a nasty doodle of himself going bird hunting because to hell with Avia. He supposed that was a bad idea because Avia are really good at the whole "Break all your bones and stuff you in a storm drain" thing, but he had a pawn or two with him so it was okay.

He gave Owen a flower and a few honeyed words as he walked in the hotel, you're supposed to keep relationships purely business in the whole assassin industry, but Owen was just too adorable. Not in the sense that he'd be willing to do anything unseemly with him... no matter how much he wanted to deep down. He'd have to give Angela a call, work out some of his tension... or maybe Phil, he knew how to make you much less tense. His mind shot him an idea about Colette as he continued tensing on his way up the stairs and he immediately shook his head and gave it a few pounds with his hand. Not allowed, not now, not ever, Colette was like his daughter, never mind the small age gap. Never ever never, he felt gross just thinking about it.

When he sat down, he sighed and gave himself a few spins to calm down. He read a few pages of Moby Dick before tossing it away because he didn't like it. Another "classic" that bored him. He had never much liked most of the books he was supposed to like, he loved the Fifty Shades series though, and Twilight. Once white trash always white trash he supposed, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

When the congresswoman walked through the door, he immediately slouched to irritate her, he knew just from looking at her composure and posture that she was fairly stuck up, he loved these kinds of people, especially now that he had a reputation. As he listened to her spiel he rolled his eyes. She was really full of herself wasn't she?

A relationship that shouldn't be passed up? Lady I don't even know who you are!

Politics weren't Liam's thing, so he only had a vague understanding that she was a hawk, he had heard a radio show or two about her. He noticed Owen standing awkwardly at the door, giving him a goofy grin before turning back to the lady. He needed Owen to stay there in case things went badly. He fingered the knife at his hip, prepared to use it if the time came.

It seemed that she only wished for a contract, some dirty politics or something he assumed, finally assuming proper posture, he rubbed under his nose and rested on his elbows.

"Owen, close the door for me, darling," he said before turning again to the congresswoman."The bellhop will stay, before you say anything," he continued, a growing seriousness in his voice.

"I'd be more than happy to consider one as talented and attractive as yourself a client of mine," he said, the seriousness gone just as quickly as it had arrived. His flirting would certainly leave her flustered, that was always fun.

"Before we begin, let me inform you, The Royals do not take payment up front, unlike some other groups in this city. We place a trust in you to hold up your end of the bargain, as we will hold up ours. Ensuring an environment of trust in client and patron is very important to us," he said, a smile creeping across his lips. "So, madame..."

"Do you trust me?"

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