Recent Statuses

12 mos ago
Current "Grandad, tell us more about the 2020 Toilet Paper Famine."
1 yr ago
Me, taking a shot everytime I hear the word "destiny" in the Witcher series: "Hmmm, fuck."
1 yr ago
You ever stub your toe so hard you could literally hear the Scatman's voice in your head? Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub, yo da dub dub, ski-bi dibby dib yo BABABOBOBOBOBOBBO--
1 yr ago
"Dear 2020, give me more hope and less worry." 2020: *Slowly looks up from the other side of the boxing ring* You'll be fine, cupcake, just drink lots of water.
1 yr ago
Before cofee: "I hate you." After coffee: "I feel good about hating you."


Give it up folks, Einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B.. Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 157 IQ brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my gratitude. Actually, what's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife.

Thank you for your work.

Most Recent Posts

Fuck strawberries.
I am plotting to destroy the world. Phase four is about to begin.

hUrry uP.
<Snipped quote by Chasebloodcrest>

I'm actually in Djanet right now and that's in the middle of Sahara.
I once got lost while sandboarding in the Algerian desert.
I like eating walnuts.
I like Oreos.
I honestly forgot what random fact I was about to write. What the fuck.

I just found out that some people deep fry bacon and eh . . .
I taught my horse how to rear today.
This is going to be my 100th post.

That's my altar boy.
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