Recent Statuses

2 mos ago
Current "Grandad, tell us more about the 2020 Toilet Paper Famine."
3 mos ago
Me: *skips the 15 second youtube ad* Youtube: *loads another ad about foot powder spray, 30 seconds long and without the skipping option*
1 like
5 mos ago
Me, taking a shot everytime I hear the word "destiny" in the Witcher series: "Hmmm, fuck."
5 mos ago
You ever stub your toe so hard you could literally hear the Scatman's voice in your head? Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub, yo da dub dub, ski-bi dibby dib yo BABABOBOBOBOBOBBO--
5 mos ago
"Dear 2020, give me more hope and less worry." 2020: *Slowly looks up from the other side of the boxing ring* You'll be fine, cupcake, just drink lots of water.


Give it up folks, Einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B.. Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 157 IQ brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my gratitude. Actually, what's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife.

Thank you for your work.

Most Recent Posts

I honestly forgot what random fact I was about to write. What the fuck.

I just found out that some people deep fry bacon and eh . . .
I taught my horse how to rear today.
This is going to be my 100th post.

That's my altar boy.
<Snipped quote by Xandrya>

I let loose a front kick that hit my daughter square in the torso.

Father of the year.

I snore when I sleep. Occasionally, my wife complains about it. But she snores too. It seems to be a race to see who gets to sleep first.

"But she snores too."

LMAO, she can't complain then.
Following up on my last fact, I actually stopped going hunting after it became evident to me that my partner at the time was unstable. I ducked out real quick once they pulled a shotgun on their family. High school was wild. Ghost hunting is still cool and I do miss it though.

Good thing you dipped out, god knows what would have happened if you didn't.
<Snipped quote by Chasebloodcrest>

Coke is to acidic(?) for me. I dunno. It leaves my teeth feeling funny.

Pepsi is meh.

Dr. Pepper is superior, though my heart truly lies with Mountain Dew.

Pepsi is too sugary.

And correct, Coca-Cola nutritionally has a touch more sodium than Pepsi.
Coke is better than Pepsi.
Well, fuck.
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