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5 mos ago
Current job hunting is hell
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Is it naptime yet?
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Bio

I like edgy bullshit and wholesome content in equal spades. Characters are people, and should be treated with the same thought you'd treat a person in real life with. I like magical girls, fighter jets, and magical girls that are fighter jets, and also vampires.

Don't DM me just asking for RP. If you contact me, put some thought into it. I wouldn't normally put something like this in my bio, but seriously - if I don't know you, and you don't present me with anything to go on, how on earth would I know whether I'd even want to begin putting in the effort?

Most Recent Posts

Kobayashi Rika




Oh, good. He was spewing some philosophical bullshit about the evils of mankind to justify his actions generally falling under the category of "total thundercunt." Was she fighting an alien in a ship rising above Pax Septimus, or arguing with someone on social media? "Fuck you, kidnapping people is a dick move!" came Rika's eloquent reply, as wires quickly wound themselves about her again. The alien had, conveniently, vacated the pilot's seat, and while she was fairly certain this thing required at least a CDL to drive legally, she suspected nobody was going to pull her over in the weird-ass cube spaceship she was probably about to crash.

The wires wrapping around Rika also began to sprout from the walls of the now-exposed cockpit. Of course, she didn't strictly have a backup plan if this was too slow. . . but maybe if she just let this dickhead skewer her in that case, she'd pop away like she did before. Yeah, yeah that was probably a good plan. Probably. Attempt to pilot something not even designed for human hands, that she's never seen before now, while relying on arcane abilities she doesn't understand to survive being impaled by an angry termite man with a vendetta against humanity, or worse, being subject to whatever the fuck weird experiments he wanted to do to her.
Kobayashi Rika




"Aren't you the dickhead that tried to roofie and then kidnap me or something?" Rika's expression was incredulous in response to the purple alien's demands. "Here's some diplomacy for you." She pointed at a section of ship nearby, which began to groan. "Stop flying away or I'll keep blowing up your stupid ship!" To emphasize her point, she released the spell, causing another hole to violently rip itself in the hull (hopefully, anyway.) "Seriously, aren't aliens supposed to study Earth culture or something? If you want someone to come home with you, you don't just grab them. What the hell?" She didn't really believe that Tim was going to somehow be swayed by some teenager berating him, but she also wasn't really thinking about anything but how confused and frustrated she was at the moment.
Kobayashi Rika




"Oops. . ." Rika let out the understatement of the century as the ship heaved. I guess the ship itself is a bad guy. . . ? Also, goat boy was yelling at her for being homophobic or something? Or sensitive about his big hands? Or both? It didn't really matter either way, because she was like 60% certain that ship flying away was going to be a successful mass alien abduction like something out of an old scifi film. She took a few running steps before leaping up next to Kidd, landing with a grunt. "Wow, that's so much harder on your knees than people make it seem like."

Agreeing that hitting the engines was a good idea, but having about as much knowledge as anyone else nearby seemed to have of the ship's layout and overall design, she elected to choose an alternative route. After looking around unsuccessfully for a couple seconds, she promptly gave up. "Oh, fuck it, they probably glow on the inside or something." With another grunt, she raised Gram above her head, and drove the blade down into the hull as hard as she could, attempting to see if she could cut a hole in it, or at least randomly put the blade through something important.
Esaka, the Tiered City

Yayama Yama
Status: youtube.com/watch?v=OCj8pqVqa1M
LV: 6, EXP: 51/60
Word Count: 636 (+1)


It wasn't long before Band and Nadia picked up the now second-newest member of Gold Team trudging her way toward them. Yayama's expression was unusually distracted, the dark knight lost in thought and hardly paying attention to her surroundings. She knew this could be a mistake, given their reason for being here, but she trusted her teammates enough to give her time to react. Also unusually, her distraction was (mostly) not taking the form of brooding at the moment, or arguing with her recently-resurfaced dark side. It might not be Eorzea or a reflection of it that she was defending at the moment, but having a clear shot at a threat to the realm had sharpened her focus considerably.

Internally, she reviewed her memories of conflict, assessing each one for relevance before deciding whether to dive in further. Implanted or not, Yayama would be making full use of her experience to ensure everyone here walked away alive except for their target. They could replace losses, in theory, but a group like theirs simply couldn't sustain more than a minimum level of attrition, and treating her troops as disposable had not once occurred to her. . . Not that the Seekers were hers, or troops in any traditional sense, but the military training had her thinking in those terms anyway.

Of all the Warrior of Darkness's past battles, the most relevant one was the assault on Eulmore. A shining city of sinister light, controlled by a tyrant of unexpected power and his lethal general, with the ability to turn the citizenry against all contenders for his oversized seat. This was tied to some exceptionally bad memories, perhaps those of her darkest hours - but as she had found strength then, she would find strength now.

She focused on the practical considerations. Anyone nearby could become an enemy at any time, so isolating the target was paramount. She'd need to review techniques for nonlethal subdual with her teammates in the likely case that they failed to totally cut off the Consul from potential brainwashing targets. This fight would require exceptional vigilance - or a willingness to discard the other ashen shadows of this world - to ensure that it couldn't turn against them at a moment's notice.

Then there was the issue of the target simply being able to flee. Catching someone by surprise was all well and good, but there was an oft-neglected downside to attempting to take down a powerful foe outside their fortress. If one's walls were broken down, then there would be nowhere to run - but if one were merely separated from them, there was still the ability to beat a hasty retreat inside them once more. Most of her foes had been conquered under the former condition, often after striking out and being repulsed. Truthfully, she wasn't sure what they could practically do to stop the Consul from using brainwashed civilians as a smokescreen and fleeing in the ensuing chaos should the fight go poorly for them.

Well, the answer is simple then, she supposed. We'll just have to hit them so hard and fast they simply don't have time to realize that they're losing this battle. Her considerations largely finished for the moment, her awareness returned to her surroundings, just in time for her to nearly bump into Band. She awkwardly stopped short, her startlement at their proximity obvious. It was times like these where she was glad for her short stride length, as if she were the size of someone like Hoary, she wouldn't have been able to stop before plowing cleanly into her metallic friend.

"Ah, hello there," she said, acting as if nothing odd had happened. "Any news to report?" Yayama asked, deflecting from her somewhat maladroit arrival. "I was just considering our tactics going forward."
Kobayashi Rika




"Uh, magic, got it." Rika started to move into a more defensive position closer to the hands, considering what, exactly, she planned to do in the meantime. She began composing her spell, at which point she noticed the gigantic fuckoff gun the slimes decided to just assemble to blow the shit out of her, specifically, because fuck Rika apparently. "Oh, crap-!" She hurled the ball of jagged steel that had formed in her hand in the general direction of the reformed turret slime, then dove for cover. This would have been decidedly more pleasant had Pax remained under whatever spell it had been subject to, but risking the random detritus washed up on the beach was probably less painful than eating a laser to the face.

If she were cooler and better trained, she might have turned this into some sort of combat roll, but as she was, she was mostly capable of getting up really fast after what amounted to a dramatic bellyflop. She stood as her spell burst into crushing chains and crumpling plates around the offending slime and its neighbors, complete with the shriek of bending metal. "No, no, stop that, don't do that." She really didn't want to see what happened when the slimes got up to the innards of the ship, so she shot-putted yet another metal ball up in that direction, to similar effect. "Right, now protect the yaoi hands." The dragon girl readied her sword and prepared to bat away any stragglers that decided to attack the hands, figuring that continuing to listen to the weird and rather questionable goat guy was better than letting aliens kidnap magical XCOM or whoever was in there.
Kobayashi Rika




Things had, unfortunately, abjectly refused to become less confusing. At least the weird puppet lady had helped, although it seemed like the assistance had been promptly murdered. Her clever plan had also been quite foiled by the magic of her opponent being able to see, but at least her armor still felt sturdier than before. (Because apparently she had armor now. It was cool from what she could tell, but still, what the hell had happened to her bikini, and why wasn't anyone else confused by this?) Her assailant had definitely hit her after she fell on her ass, but evidently she had some instinctive Instant Transmission bullshit built in now, because she was now somewhere else and very not brained.

Furthermore, it seemed like the goat guy from before (whose porn had vanished, thankfully) was holding down a whole ass spaceship while espers poured both into and out of it, something that she had been vaguely aware of in the background but not really processed due to the immediate mortal peril. Holy shit, how long has that been there!? He seemed helpful enough, he was pointing her at someone else to hang around (who she vaguely remembered might have also tried to help earlier during possible kidnapping attempt #1), and the other person currently trying to point her in a direction had been kind of a literally-backstabbing asshole.

Taking a moment to look around, she was pretty sure the person she was theoretically supposed to go towards had gone through that portal just a bit ago. At the very least, she didn't see any more cool sci-fi heroines running around out here, just the vaguely familiar-looking space lady who'd exploded out the side of the ship. So, after consideration, she was going to ignore the goat guy's advice for the moment, and follow his OTHER, slightly more recent advice that wasn't actually directed at her.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna listen to the people not trying to kill me, thanks!" Rika called over her shoulder, as she took off running after Kidd at full tilt. She wasn't sure she was actually faster than her potential pursuer, but she was still pretty damn zippy, as she'd discovered over the last few days. "You know, you're kinda sending mixed messages," she said to Kidd as she approached. Rika raised her sword as she drew close to the jiggly tide threatening Kidd's giant hands, then started hacking at the slimes. She had a sword now, so she might as well do something useful with it.



"Air Maeda is open for business, I guess."




Haruna sat up a little straighter in response to Kiyo. She couldn't help but give the crimson-eyed girl a concerned glance. Her arm lifted halfway to give her a reassuring pat before realizing that the action would air out Kiyo's stresses to the group as a whole, something she had firmly resolved not to do to anyone without a good reason. "I still need a little more time to recover, but I can try to focus on regenerating THUNDER CRACK if we're worried about backup transportation." She felt a little more aware of being one of the only ones here untransformed, but Hizuki needed as much rest as possible. "I think I can carry everyone?" She'd never actually tried to carry that many people, but it seemed within her power.

She also took a moment to nod at Roche. "That's a good attitude. I can also try to talk to any light girls we run across and explain the situation. They might not be thrilled about who its coming from, but I doubt anyone wants a giga miseria stomping around her hometown." Haruna tried to focus on the issues they voiced; besides Kiyo, the desires of everyone in the room blended into a hazy miasma of fears and anxieties, obfuscated even further by her lack of transformation. It was honestly distracting, like trying to have a phone conversation with a loud party next door.

There was also the matter of Tsubomi. She was. . . different. She couldn't tell if this was the old, pre-fall Tsubomi, the one they'd called a weed, or some combination of the two. At the very least, this one would be less frustrating to talk to. The light girl felt a little guilty at the thought; it was mean to get mad at someone for things they couldn't control, and this might well mean the slow girl she'd met was, effectively, dead.

Maybe that's why Kiyo wanted her to shut up so badly.

"I'm not going to be able to do the trick I did against Black Gate for a while, by the way. If we bite off more than we can chew, that's it. Ideally I don't have to do that again until Ashbringer's team comes back." The mention of Michi made her shoot another glance in Earthshaker's direction. The expression on her face, at least until she smoothed it over again, was conflicted. She had a lot of sympathy for Roche. The two of them had a lot in common. Evidently, though, it wasn't enough to prevent Roche from doing something that felt more than a little bit like a betrayal. Haruna didn't want to hold it against Roche, because the Rule Keeper had plenty of reason to not fight at the time. . . but it was difficult. Her sensibilities rebelled against the decision, even if she understood it. There's the gap between light and dark again, I guess.
Kobayashi Rika




"You know you could just leave me alone now, right? I'm not gonna stop you from assassinating whoever you're here for like this." Rika said, not really expecting her words to get anywhere as she held her blade up in a guard shaped more by instinct than anything else. Okay, so, she doesn't really seem like a crazy person, but she also doesn't really seem invested in my well-being, so I guess she's probably ALSO trying to kidnap me? I know I'm hot, but c'mon, really? I'm like, a dragon and shit, isn't there anyone easier!?

Not knowing which direction was safe, she decided to stay in place and get ready to weather whatever this weird-ass furry had to throw at her. Steely scales formed around her body as she kept her head on a swivel, relying more on sound than sight to anticipate Bionca's approach. Of course, Rika didn't really expect to get the drop on a more experienced (and, let's be real, smarter) combatant, so she decided to not really try. As long as she could activate her magic before Bionca tried to hit her again, it wouldn't matter how much faster she was. Rika could just flatten her with a shoulder check, relying on her superior strength and the fact that she was about to have the general characteristics of a freight train to carry her through long enough to start running the hell out of this smokebomb.



"I'm sure that everyone will respond calmly and reasonably to my concerns."




The topic of the meeting at current was something Haruna had been dreading for a while. It was something where the gap between light and dark couldn't be ignored. "Is summoning and killing giga miseria really the only way for you to get stronger? I assume that good deeds don't exactly work, but there has to be more than one way to power up. Like. . . I don't know. Maybe conflicts with light girls? If dark girls run on negative emotions, and light girls run on positive ones, maybe making a light girl expend her power will release negative energy, or something." Despite sounding a bit like she was grasping at straws, she felt like she almost had a theory here. "If that worked, the GEMs being around could be useful. Assuming I can't convince them to leave, which admittedly doesn't really seem super likely at this point."
Kobayashi Rika




Rika was many things. A trained combatant was not one of them, nor was she a character from a spy thriller poised to respond to a betrayal at any moment. What was among them, however, was a person who'd grown up in the real version of Pax Septimus without being wise enough to avoid dangerous situations in advance. When someone wound up to hit you, there were warning signs. A hesitance or a strange care in the voice, the sound of metal or wood being palmed, the intake of breath that often involuntarily came with exertion. When Bionca swung, Rika reacted, gleaming steel interposing itself between the incoming pan and her vulnerable cranium. "Woah, what are you doing!?"

Wait, gleaming steel?

"Why would you just swing on me like that? And what the hell's going on?" Her tone held much more confusion than anger. She'd known it was all too good to be true, but a part of Rika had been hoping that this was just how things were going to be in her hometown from now on. Now, though, everyone was in all kinds of wild costumes and had actual weapons, including herself. The greatsword in her hand felt exactly like the oversized pool noodle it had been, but it was difficult to mistake the presence of a killing edge on it.

Something told Rika that her life was about to get a lot more complicated. Assuming it didn't immediately come to an end at the hand of a frying-pan-and-knife-wielding maniac, or a giant purple alien, or the latter's array of heavy artillery.
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