Avatar of ClocktowerEchos
  • Last Seen: 2 yrs ago
  • Joined: 9 yrs ago
  • Posts: 7442 (2.23 / day)
  • VMs: 27
  • Username history
    1. ClocktowerEchos 9 yrs ago

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Recent Statuses

2 yrs ago
Current I was gone for a lot longer than I thought >.>"
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Sorry for my absence! A Volunteering position suddenly turned into a Volunteer Leadership position I was not expecting at all so things have been hectic.
4 likes
2 yrs ago
Look at you posers, having to bang dragons or sell your soul for magic when you could just play a lute for some. Anyways, here's Wonderwall. - Bards
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Sometimes we live in a society. Other times, a society lives in us. Occasionally, society.
3 likes
2 yrs ago
I am fucking screaming. Why are there so many fucking MLMs posing as actual marketing/advertising agencies. Just give me an actual fucking job reeeeeeeee
2 likes

Bio

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Most Recent Posts

Holy shit, I never thought I'd see someone actually try to do a Walmart Apoc RP. Definitely throwing my hat into the ring for this! Haven't been on in a while but this seems like a good place to start up again.
WIP - Feedback Appreciated <3



@Keyguyperson KEEEEYYYYYYYYY :D




@Nate1008 Going off of what @Aleranicus has said, here is a list of "have you tried" and similar things that might help you:

What do you plan on doing in the RP that will not only make it fun for everyone else but also for you? As it stands currently, people will not really want to interact with what is obviously a very hostile and treacherous hivemind meaning you will end up posting about yourself for a while as everyone is interacting with each other.


I believe you are trying to take inspiration from the likes of the Flood, the Tyranids and the Zerg but have you considered the option of not requiring to take all of them to create a "super parasite"? I know the word OP has been thrown around a lot, but that is honestly what it seems like you are trying to do, make an unbeatable creation that cannot be stopped and cannot be destroyed. Have you considered that the other players would not consider this nearly as amusing or interesting as you?


Have you considered any deeper history for your species? As it stands right now, it would seem that the government was astronomically inept at preventing what was basically a zombie outbreak to the point it has taken over a colony and a moon. No stable government would ever let this just slide but that also means you could have had a weak or ineffective government ignore or not dedicate enough resources to fixing the issue. In my own sheet, the Haradoni would have had enough resources to put down an outbreak of the Syndorian Virus but because they were terribly loosing a war, they decided to let it loose on themselves.


From personal experience, I would recommend against using precise numbers. As it stands on your NS right now they are only taking up space and not really giving any meaningful information. Same with the lists, they are just taking up space and could at least be put in hiders. On the topic of numbers, 718 people is a pitifully small force to the point that it is likely impossible to do any meaningful actions; I'm fairly certain the high school I went to had around 700 people.


I would suggest removing the infested naval vessels and coming up with some more of your own with pictures. To a lot of poeple just saying you "take over other player's stuff" is both lazy and bad writing. In addition your navy's weapons do not seem to be intimidating or even practical at all. I understand that you're trying to use the Tyranid hiveships as a basis, but your writing does not make it seem impressive. How about firing boney spikes and fleshy mass, you use bioplasma, rapid fire spore cannons that fire a super dense bone-like spike that mimics conventional kinetic munitions or even living creatures who can latch on to ships (if not stopped by shields) and start to dig into them.

Also the fact that you can take over another player's hyperdread is really off putting. Even if you don't plan on doing it, the fact that you list is as part of your active navy and allude to it as a possibility means that there's always a chance. A chance many don't want to take.


For what reason do you have slaves/non infected populations for? I know that you've mentioned somewhere that you turn some of them into sleeper agents with the virus in them, but you are relying on the fact that said agents won't simply say where they are coming from and authorities simply knowing that they're from infected space. You're also overlooking the fact that some people would be more than willing to just shoot down suspected infected craft. Instead, what if your hivemind was smart enough to start basically farming humans/other sentient beings for hosts and biomass. In addition, what was your original host species? There is more than just humans in this galaxy.


There is more but this is what I could quickly think of off the top of my head. Another word of advice, don't be upset if you have to change your NS a lot. Ask any veteran NRPer and they will tell you that they change their NS many times if not dozens of times. Hell, I know a decent number of NSs that their creators never consider "finish" and continuously work on it up until the RP itself ends up dying out.
@Nate1008 Could you give a definitive list of what your virus can and can't do and how? Since it seems like you are just pulling things out of thing air as you need to to adapt to whatever new thing comes up. Also this:

Also, the virus does not shut down the host. If it shuts down the brain, the host dies. The virus feeds on the hosts nutrients. When the body dies, it stops transporting nutrients. The virus also needs the brain alive if it is to take it over. If the brain shuts down in any way, the virus dies out because the body is no-longer giving it resources it needs to survive.


So does the host need to be continuously fed for nutrients to keep going in? You are aware that brain death usually accompanies any sort of traumatic death meaning that most of the time, you are going to be going after dead bodies which by your own definition cannot act as hosts to the infection. In addition, a live infection which turns people into hosts but also some how change their bodies in some way such as growing limbs/tentacles/etc will be extremely traumatic and will kill the host. Human bodies and most bodies aren't designed to suddenly be completely rearranged after birth and doing so would be not only painful to the extreme but lethal too.
@Nate1008 At the risk of sounding like "that guy", is there any sort of limitation to what your virus can actually do? Since it seems like it can just about do anything and things just kept getting pulled out of thin air? Like someone has previously said, you are tripping a lot of red flags for powergaming.

It is a virus/fungus mutation. It was first produced by a plant in the air pocket of witch it was found.


I'm not a biology expert but I think you're confusing what is meant by a virus/fungus mutation. I think what you need is like cancerous/rapid growth of biomass. Also just from a writing stand point, just having it be something that was found in an air pocket in a mine that went ignored until the entire empire was infected because the entire military and government just decided to stand down and let it happen sounds really lazy and uninspired.

It can gain intelligence and is able to override and grow over a machines parts, Arms, Legs, Neck e.g, and construct muscular tissue and overwhelm a machines motors and takes over its movements. As for a biological host, it can infect the brain, shut down its most important parts and take over those parts. It does not shut down the whole brain, but takes over most of it.


I honestly cannot decipher whats the meaning behind this. Does it "grow an arm" and use it to control machinery? Does it some how infect a very much non-living computer with a very much alive organism that realistically can't "infect/hack" it like it can with a brain? Also machine motors, especially larger ones, are not easy things to move. If you're trying to move like a starship turret for example that would take a huge amount of energy and effort.

As for biological hosts, why doesn't it shut down everything and basically drive the body around like a walking flesh robot? You don't even need the brain if you want to control a body, just have something to fire nerves and muscles and you get a function walking if not janky meat puppet.
Does anyone want to have the honor of being the Major Belligerent that gave Haradoni its ass whopping?

Also, the Virus which I'm renaming to the Varkak Virus has a trait which effectively restores a limited amount of youth and energy to someone meaning that if a crippled person was to be willingly infected, they would have their lives extended and the use of their limbs restored. I ask because I'm wondering if anyone's race would have some mad scientist go and run off to be infected as to prolong their own lives to continue their research or need some place where the ethics of said research aren't really considered.
Oz mentioned to distributing discord link to those who made sheets so I figure that's what is going to happen.
@ClocktowerEchosI also understand your concern and worded similar in the first page. The way I see it this can be worked out in some form through the following:

1.) Oz only handles out invites to those who already made a sheet. Not twiddling your tumbs here.
2.) We can mandate that important stuff have to be posted in the OOC so it won't lost
3.) Try enforcing a posting regimen so inactivity be averted.

How does it sound?


Keeping an RP alive means keeping the thread alive and discord servers siphon away any activity in a thread to the chat. Even if we only let people with NSs in, then that means most of the active population is going to be on the discord. It will also be another gate for people who want to get in to come across since now they will just have to look at a dead OOC, wondering if there's anything going on in a discord. Plus this is an NRP, everyone knows that few NSs will truly be 100% complete with a sizable amount bare.

If you only post important stuff in the OOC but all the activity isn't on the OOC, then there is really no reason to be posting to the OOC. At that point you might as well just post announcements in the discord if everyone is over there. What could happen is that there is an @everyone post on the OOC and then the 0 post is updated with that.

Also posting schedules really don't work as well as people want to believe. They work for about 5 posts at most or something and then people just start going dark because having to reguarly post now feels like a chore they have to do or drop the RP. For people who already can barely find time to put up a post that isn't three lines and a picture, having yet another thing in the back of your mind telling you "oh don't forget to write for that RP" isn't going to help.

tl;dr - The use of discord will siphon activity away from the OOC and by extension the RP as people will no longer feel a need to regularly check the thread. With all the activity moving away from the OOC, the discord becomes the primary communication method which makes the OOC less viewed and useful thus putting more stuff into the discord feeding a loop.
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