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    1. Cottonmouth 9 yrs ago
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Critique me plz: Too OP?


You're good my dude.
A lot of the stuff in this Rp is gonna be over the top.
I thought it was creative too.
Caspian seemed less upset about his blade once he saw that Raiya had been injured. Her return fire brought his attention back to the fight. Caspian held out his hands to the side and fired off two blasts collide and stop the blasts arcing at him. However this action left him wide open to her slash. Caspian tried to move back, but found it wasn't enough when the blade cut through his clothes and seared a cut across his stomach.

It wasn't deep, but it was a wound all the same. Caspian felt pain not just from being cut, but from the sensation of being burned as well. While still feeling the sting, he followed up by stepping back in and swinging at her with his cutlass towards her left shoulder and down. But he figured that it would likely end up getting blocked, so he sent a powerful kick towards her as well, aimed right at her fresh wound by her ribs.




Nemo seemed to be a lot less entertained once he saw Raiya hurt. His expression turned emotionless and blank now as he watched from his chair with his head propped up by resting it on his palm.
Caspian tried to assess the situation as fast as possible. By the looks of her new weapon, he felt that it would really sting to have it connect. He knew that he wouldn't be able to block it with his normal blade, and it was already too late to try to generate anything clever. Thinking fast, Caspian channeled more energy into his blade before blocking.

Luckily, Caspian's blade was enchanted. However during the block the aura of the blade began to falter, and soon enough small sparks began to fly up as the edge started to get damaged. He let out a growl and pushed back as hard as he could to break away from her. Caspian inspected the edge of his cutlass and was horrified to see a small chip in it now, something he previously thought impossible. He eyed Raiya with a scowl. "I guess I was wrong in assuming that someone with a samurai sword would fight with the same honor of one." He spat out.

"I'm sure it'll buff right out?" Nemo heckled from his seat.

He found that channeling more energy into the blade was harder now, as if the sword's enchantment had been disrupted. The effect seemed to lessen over time, but it took using any significant spells through his sword off the menu for this fight "I suppose the at fault is me. In the end what good does fighting clean get you? If it's life and death on the line the only thing that really matters is winning." Caspian said before holstering his flintlock and rushing in towards Raiya.

Caspian charged his sword with a small spell and swung at Raiya with one hand. Should the cutlass connect with her plasma blade the charge would immediately disperse from the interference into thick vapor. Caspian intentionally devised this to blind her for enough time to follow up with a small knife he was carrying in his free hand. Should his trick pay off, he'd try to stab her with his knife hooking from the left towards Raiya's right ribs.




"That's jus' how I say hello." Roy replied to Travis. He used a knife to deflect Zoey's slug with an impressive display of reaction speed. It let out a piercing pang when the side of the blade came into contact with the metal payload. Afterwards he slung the damaged knife towards Zoey as repayment. The knife curved towards her from the left, aimed at her chest.

Figuring Zoey would be busy with the knife, Roy pulled another grenade from his belt and tossed it towards the group. This one with a three second timer and filled with a disorienting purple gas, capable of impairing vision to the people caught inside and induce coughing.

"The work I do requires me to be flexible in my capabilities." Caspian replied. He was puzzled by what she drew next, it's lack of any blade confused him. But he knew well enough that it wasn't a joke. Caspian put his glowing sword up and flourished it himself twice before underhandedly scraping the blade onto the ground, kicking up sparks. The magic seemed to enhance the action, emitting much more sparks than usual. He then fired his flintlock into the cloud at Raiya, igniting them further and generating a cannonball sized purple ball of fire and energy. Besides being incredibly hot, the spell would conclusively explode the first thing it hit.
Nemo made sure to hastily catch Raiya's jacket and hoodie before they hit the ground after she tossed them. The last thing he wanted to see is any bare clothing hit the moist floor of the room they were in. He spawned a metal object from his inventory and planted it onto the ground. Afterwards the object started to fold out, transforming into a basic chair. Nemo sat down and crossed one leg over the other, giving him a good view of the fight.

With the opportunity present, as a master tailor Nemo could help himself from inspecting Raiya's jacket further. It gave him a better insight into it's design and her size. Zoey's message then ran through, interrupting him, but at that point he was satisfied with his inspection anyways. He neatly folded the Oyabun jacket and hoodie over the headrest of his chair and used his manadial to type out a reply. The no doubt paragon induced storm made it near impossible to communicate out of it back to Felix, but since they were still miles from the paragon itself it was still possible to communicate via dial on the ship.

"I've got a front row seat down here for a performance I'd hate to miss. Besides, it's three on one up there, I'd hardly be a sportsman if I came up there and bumped that number up to four. I already feel bad for him.

If he becomes too much to handle send me another message and I'll be there. But until then, have fun. As for Zuri, I'm sure Felix would be interested in that, but her shade is of little concern to me. You seem to be the shadow expert anyways."


After sending his message Nemo went back to viewing the fight.




Caspian found Raiya's speed and draw impressive, but he expected nothing less from someone holding a sword such as hers. Speed was often the nature of katana wielders. He used his cutlass to narrowly parry her attack with his right hand. He used his left to pull out a small flintlock from his side, one he obtained from another member of their crew. It had a blunderbuss style barrel, various ornate details and runic engravings, and was capable of firing without any type of ammunition inside, instead using the wielders mana and acting like a wand to channel the energy into attacks.

Caspian fired the weapon point blank, the barrel lit up blue and hissed as it briefly charged before spewing out an impressively sized wave of concussive blue energy.




Due to the trajectory of his shot, Nemo had to extend out his gloved right hand and use his magic to dispel the wave once it reached him.
"I coin toss would do fine. I usually have them handy." Nemo replied, reaching into his leather jacket and picking out a large solid silver coin. It was the same type he used for various payments in the underworld, the silver variant was the most common overall. He held up one side of the coin, picturing a basic runic circle with a angel in the middle among some writing. "Heads." He stated, then flipped it to the other side, revealing a witch hunter anti-magic style circle with a demon in the middle. "Tails." The sides acted like a yin and yang to each other, effectively cancelling out any type of real magical effects they might have.

"Since it's my coin I think it's only fair I get to call, I'll go for tails." Nemo explained, rolling the coin across his knuckles before flipping it high up into the hair. He caught it with his left hand an flipped it on top of his leather glove. After lifting his left hand off he grew a rather disappointed reaction. "Heads." He revealed. "I hope this fight will be more satisfying for you than the last was." He added. Nemo was a bit disappointed, not just because he was going to have to sit this out, but because he had hoped to work more on their synergy during this outing. But he resided in the fact that there still was likely to be much more adept enemies to utilize than on.

Caspian grew even more annoyed than before after the coin toss. If clearing out the water wasn't tedious enough, having to be insulted on his capabilities of handling the fight was even worse. The outcome didn't bother him much, while Nemo had annoyed him, and insulted his intelligence, he found her condescending comment much more infuriating. "I'll be sure to try to keep you entertained." Caspian said between gritted teeth and he pulled his cutlass from it's scabbard once more, it now glowed a feint blue. He was ready to fight.




Everything seemed to slow down for Roy as he tried to contemplate what was happening. He was beginning to regret engaging all three of these enemies by himself. His dagger slash quickly became the least important thing to him once he noticed the large looming shadow coming towards him. Realizing that if he followed through he was likely screwed, he gave up and diverted his attention to the new threat before it was too late.

With most of the dust blown away, it made creating a spell more difficult, but possible now.

Roy sidestepped away from Travis and creating a glowing sigil from his palm to try to stop the attack. It expanded out to be much larger after being activated. But to Roy's dismay, instead of stopping, it ethereally passed right through. For a minute he resigned himself to his fate and counted his lucky charms, but instead it passed right through him as well.

Roy was about to click his heels together in joy until he heard a gunshot. With the shadow hand taking most of his attention and all of his remaining mana he gathered, he was mostly helpless against it. Roy though fast and tried to dodge by leaping away and spinning in the air acrobatically. The slug barely missed by ripping through the coat and shirt around his stomach, leaving a awfully painful sting in the line that it passed though. But in the end, Roy still felt lucky.

Roy rolled back to his feet away from the group, he seemed to be upset by the fresh hole in his coat. "Now that wasn't very nice." He commented. With no mana left, he didn't feel like going back on the offense yet until he was more comfortable with what this group was capable of.
@ShiningSector Waiting on you before posting as Roy my guy.
Raiya was right about the mage, as soon as she began to cut down the axe wielder he let loose a powerful spell. It shot out a basketball sized energy attack that would explode on contact, likely intent recklessly on taking out all three of the people it was aimed at.

Nemo nodded and used his warp to transfer himself in front of Raiya with his right arm extended and his gloved hand open. A X made of black colored energy began to form out from the X rune on his glove, and rapidly expanded till it was a little bit larger than the mage's spell and floated in front of Nemo's hand.

The spell collided into Nemo's X mark, put instead of exploding into a blazing fury, it was absorbed directly into it while emitting an odd piercing noise. The X mark itself slowly began to fade from dull black, to a bright glowing white as it fed off the energy. Once it was finished, with a flick of his wrist Nemo propelled the mark back towards the mage at a high speed.

The spell morphed from an X to a oval shaped ball while in transit. As soon as it connected with the mage it exploded, cleaving him in twain as it eviscerated his midsection.

With the two goons out of the way, Nemo continued on to the doorway. The knocked twice on the metal door before opening it, revealing a large room with the shield generator at the other end. Standing in there way was a sole man.

The room was lowered below the entrance, with a small pathway leading to some steps down extending from the door. Above the room was large cast iron grate, letting rain and seawater slip through and pool on the floor, making a big puddle over the floor about five inches high. The shield generator was letting off a similar glow as the actual energy shield, indicating it was still active.

Nemo walked across the platform above the water to get a better look at their opponent. It was definitely the first mate, Caspian Crowhurst. He had long wavy black hair combed back, blue eyes, was about six feet and three inches tall, seemed to be in his mid twenties, and had light skin. The man was wearing a short black peacoat, black trousers and boots, and a white and blue horizontally striped shirt underneath. The only thing else to note was various jewelry and a long silver cutlass at his side.

"So you bested Sap and Sin huh? I knew this trip was going to be exciting, but not this exciting." Caspian said, energetically drawing his sword and pointing it towards Nemo and Raiya. "Let's dance." He remarked.

"No." Nemo replied plainly, before turning and beginning to walk away. The competitive engaged gaze in Caspian's eyes sank like a rock. "What do you mean, No?!" He spat back. "Why the hell not?"

Nemo stopped and turned back around, an irritated look on his face. He pointed to the floor. "Look at this, I'm not fighting in this sludge like some swamp troll. Not only is it going to stain, but it'll make my pants all soggy and get in my boots. I wont even be able to enjoy the battle if the whole time I'm thinking about how it's ruining my ensemble." Nemo explained.

"W-well I'm already standing in it-" Caspian began to reply before getting cut off.

"That's because you're an idiot." Nemo said. "And I don't fight idiots in muck."

Caspian let out an irritated sigh. "What if I got rid of the all water?" He asked. "Would you fight then your highness?"

"I suppose I might be able to overlook your idiocy then." Nemo commented.

Caspian reluctantly sheathed his cutlass and crouched down. He placed his hands into the water and recited a small incantation. After a couple of seconds the pool of water in the room parted down the middle and started to flow to each side of the wall. The water then slowly started to defy gravity and roll up the wall, starting out at a slow pace before gaining speed. After reaching the top it began to pour out the grate and onto the ships deck until there was none left in the room.

"There, happy?" Caspian asked, rising back up and gripping his cutlass once more.

"The lighting leaves something to be desired but I suppose it'll have to do." Nemo replied, stepping down from the platform onto the now dry floor.



"Most of Seidon's crew isn't quite cut out for what we'll be bringing to the table. They're smugglers, not true fighters. Either way I found their harmonization to be rather interesting." Nemo replied looking towards the exit of the room and continuing on. "I'm sure that the opponents will become tougher soon enough. Not to mention what we really have to worry about is those two church members." Nemo said.

After taking a few turns he came upon a long wide hallway leading to one big door with two guards standing besides it. "Our shield generator should be right behind that door." Nemo commented.

The first guard brandished a fire axe and stormed down the hallway ready to swing while the other began to charge up a spell while his partner provided a diversion. As soon as the axe wielding sailor would reach Nemo or Raiya he'd take a swing as fast as possible.
The long haired twin was able to consecutively block the Z pattered swipes, but when he charged up his sword to block her magical attack, he didn't anticipate the electrical effects. As soon as the arc hit his sword, all the voltage shot through his body at once. The twin was temporarily dazed and unable to move, leaving him wide open to her second attack.

The long haired brother closed his eyes and waited for his death to come, but it was one that wouldn't come quite this soon. He opened his eyes to find his wounded brother had jumped in front of him, blocking the energy ball from hitting.

He used the rest of his empowered sword to get the brunt of it, but sadly that didn't cut it. The rest of the energy charged into his body. Turning most of the front half facing the plasma to ash, and leaving the rest severely burnt. He then toppled over after his sacrifice, dead.

"How noble." Nemo muttered, a hint of irritation in his voice. He was clearly disappointed that he didn't get to finish the man off himself.

The brother got back up, recovered from the electric shock and clearly unhinged from witnessing the death of his twin. He raised his sword up and began to charge Raiya, letting out a battle cry as he did so. With his mind so set on vengeance he wasn't paying enough attention to Nemo, who suddenly brutally collided into him before he could reach Raiya with a hockey style body check. The man was knocked off his feet and sent tumbling to the floor.

The twin got back up, his sights now set on Nemo, who had his sword extended out with one hand in a fencing style position. When the livid man reached him to took a swing at Nemo, and was easily parried. Nemo then followed it up by adding another fluid motion with his sword to disarm the man, flinging his sword across the room. Before he could even comprehend how he was disarmed so quickly, Nemo's body abruptly slid forward magically, without moving his feet, and thrust the katana straight through the twin's chest.

The sole twin let out a pained raspy gasp, his breathing audibly compromised. Nemo then pulled the sword from his chest, and in a final fluid swing, decapitated the brother. The ease at which the blade went through the man's neck was remarkable. Now parted of his cranium, the man collapsed dead on the floor.

Nemo looked back to Raiya and shrugged his shoulders. "Well I guess that's that." He commented. He looked down to his sword, now covered with blood. But instead of wiping it off, the sword itself seemed to have other plans. All the crimson liquid began to suddenly absorb into the steel until there was none left. Once properly 'cleaned' Nemo spawned back the scabbard and re-sheathed the weapon, now holding it by his side.

"I'd say it's been too long since I've gotten to use a sword. Well, I suppose that's obvious considering the whole prison thing. But still this has been rather refreshing." Nemo said as he walked over to her.




"Call me whatcha want lad, my only real morals, my allegiances, are to my crew and money. I'm a rogue. Bein' a hunter was a nice gig for a while, but sometimes we all gotta move on to greener pastures." Roy explained. Travis' warning tipped Roy off that something was coming, and he took proper precautions to cover himself for what was coming.

As soon as Travis' spell was activated he picked up on the nature of the attack and activated his counter-spell by pushing both of his forward. A sudden wave in the air was caused, traveled inward on all sides towards Roy as he used his witch hunter "arts" to extract latent mana in the environment to use. Flames suddenly began to spew out from his hands towards the ice attach, melting the crystals back down to water before they could ever be a threat to him. Making it only successful in hitting him with a mist of water.

When the two spells both dispersed, Roy was also gone. Likely using the rest of the mana he gathered to teleport. A sudden clink of a grenade being pulled from his vest would alert the gang of Roy's presence not far behind Travis. He rushed at him with a dagger and bounced the grenade off the ground like a bouncy ball off towards Zuri. It was set to explode within five seconds.

Roy suddenly tossed a handful off white crystalline like powder towards Travis with his freehand before swiping at him with the knife. The powder was a traditional witch hunter recipe designed to disrupt spells from being formed with it's lingering presence in the air it occupied.
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