Avatar of Dervish
  • Last Seen: 1 yr ago
  • Old Guild Username: Dervish
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 5991 (1.32 / day)
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  • Username history
    1. Dervish 12 yrs ago
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Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current Remember, nobody actually enjoys roleplaying if there isn't at least five shameful fetishes uncovered by the 2nd page.
5 likes
7 yrs ago
Somebody stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about it.
14 likes
7 yrs ago
Let's be honest, it's far more satisfying and challenging to actually imagine what a character looks like than paste a hundred gifs of a celebrity and call it good.
4 likes
7 yrs ago
So, a team of players who are good at playing as a team in a team-based game are individually bad players. Seems kind of silly when you put it like that, no?
8 likes
7 yrs ago
My goal these days is to have an RP that can actually finish, or the very least, last a few years. I see way too many die on page one to take chances
4 likes

Bio



Lowering the site's value since January 2012.


Most Recent Posts

Ah, what the hell. Throw Stormwulfe onto the list, I haven't played in ages.
As someone who moved 3500 kilometers, 3 provinces, and two time zones, I know exactly what you're giving up.

Trust me. It gets easier, and you are moving to traverse into the next stage of your life. In the end, it's worth it. And 4 hours isn't so bad. You can still make weekend trips back home. Don't feel like you're giving up everything. You're just changing the frequency.
Don't you have friends you could call?

I sometimes play guitar, carve soap stone, read, paint Warhammer figures and other shit. Just try something. Don't make excuses.
HeySeuss said
Leaving this open so maybe Vance Miller can read his fanmail sometime, if he ever decides to check out where his bots have been...


There, I'm all caught up.
Hegathe Barracks…

Wets-His-Blade’s reconnaissance, as luck would have it, went unnoticed by the three men in the upper floor. A well-furnished penthouse with no small amount of displayed art, fine rugs, and all manner of weapons and mannequins displaying elaborate sets of armour were laid out before Blade’s eyes. It was clear that Captain Ismal Doshin lived well outside of the means of your average Hammerfell citizens, doubtless enjoying the fruits of his partnership with the dwemer authority. He stood at the ready in scaled armour and a gold accented saber at the ready. With him were two men in heavy plate armour, chainmail veiled helms, and armed with kite shields and maces, both of dwemer make. All had their attention fixed on the locked door that evidently descended below.

After looking around the room, Blade will have noticed a forth figure, an upset looking man holding a ceramic mug in both hands, as if his life depended on it.

“There’s just the one man?” Captain Doshin asked, not unkindly, to the seated man. The man drank from the cup and nodded once.

“A single argonian, but he was skilled… he killed the men at the gate with ease. I know you left your best fighters as guards, Captain, but I do not know if it was enough.”

The captain seemed to give this no small amount of thought. “Very well, Kael.” One of his bodyguards stepped forward. “I need you to scout the lower barracks and see if you can’t find this assailant. Lock the doors behind you and exercise extreme caution; you may be one of the best fighters in the city, if not the entire province, but I do not want you to take any unnecessary risks. Now go.”

“Yes, captain. I will be diligent in my search.” He said, removing a key from a waist pouch as he approached the door.

“Kael, one more thing.” Captain Doshin called to his guard’s back. The man paused before he inserted the key into the hole.

“Kill on sight. No prisoners.”

The man nodded, a barely noticeable gesture behind the heavy veil, and soon the guard was through the door. Captain Doshin watched his man leave, confident in his own ability as a warrior, as well as his remaining bodyguard. Kael was a master of battle, a veteran of the Alik’r and one of the most ruthless bandit killers Doshin had the pleasure to employ. There was no reason to doubt his capacity in a fight.

The Captain turned around and immediately noticed something; the balcony door was ajar. He knew he had personally secured it when the alarm went out and a sinking feeling opened into the pit of his stomach. The killer was in the room.

“Show yourself!” He called out, brandishing his blade. His bodyguard took up position behind him, shield and mace at the ready. The receptionist leapt to his own feet, looking around uncertainly with his own blade. “Are you here to kill me, argonian, all alone? Is it your wish to perish in this room? Don’t be shy! What is it that you want, assassin?”
Vakte said
Any excuse to deny me eh Dervy? :pI can wait a bit :)Last post was Hades btw, same as this one :)


Always, Hades! I enjoy being a pain in the ass. ;D

There we go! Sorry about the wait. Feel free to mingle with partners and take some liberties with the scene; there's a bit of time before SI arrives.
This was already going better than Tanya could have anticipated. Not only did she have far more willing and able volunteers, but they were already sliding into the roles she suspected they would without any prompting on her part. While there was a healthy amount of skepticism and reluctant acceptance, there were more than a few who were eager and ready. Well, that’s the hard part over. Pulling this off is going to be a walk in the park in comparison. she thought, offering a bemused expression to the female drell, Daryna, and her cooler. She looked like she was offering to share lunch instead of offer rather unfortunate merchandise.

“I’m not going to ask why you decided to go collect a bunch of krogan testes, and frankly, ew. They’re all yours, you should run a wire through them and wear them as a necklace and tell people you ate the last one off its still squirming victim. Nobody would fuck you with you after that.” She said with a playful wink, rising up from her seat. Humour was generally the universal language for defusing potential tension, and practical jokes made up approximately half of her interactions with her old crewmates. Tanya pondered if she’d develop a similar bond with the group assembled around the sketchy little conference room in the ass end of nowhere.

“Alright, glad to know there a few people in this galaxy who have more balls than Daryna’s krogan.” She said, ignoring Kesik’s intensely hateful gaze. She’d have a few words with him soon enough. “Sleuth and the quarians, you guys will be key to pulling this off. That ship needs to be locked down and comms jammed before we can make our move, otherwise we’re fucked. I can’t stress this more; we get one shot at this. Keep in contact with one another and the minute you guys have your objectives met, ping me on my omni-tool. Then the fireworks start.”

She decided to bury the major hatchet next. Her gaze turned over to the two batarians, who after only a few minutes, seemed to be bonding together tighter than an epoxy resin. Other than some intense facial expressions, both kept their words professional, buying into the work. Kesik’s lack of protest actually surprised Tanya; she thought he’d be much, much more belligerent at the announcement of his role as bait. “I realize what I’m asking of you is absurd and dangerous by any measurements, and it’s clear neither of us have any love lost for one another’s species. For what it’s worth, I respect you for doing this and I’m not going to let any asshole lay a hand on you. As soon as the show starts, your bindings will be off via omni-tool command and I’ll have a pistol in your hand just as fast. I’ll be one of your make-belief captors, along with Saseen.” She looked at Valok next. “We’ll keep you close in the hanger, within easy shot of the SI troops. It’ll look suspect if a batarian’s selling one of his own off to imprisonment, but nobody’s going to look twice at somebody looking like they belong to another ship. After that, you two can share bunks for all I care. I’d rather people stick with people they were comfortable with, but there’s going to be times we all need to do unpleasant shit. This is one of them.”

Turning to the group at large, “The boring logistical part of this is the fact that we all have personal gear and belongings. I’ve rented an automated storage container on the hanger deck that can be wheeled over to the ship on a command. We’ll have to hump that shit in by hand down the docking arm, but it’s a hell of a lot better than all of us running around dragging cases behind us. When we sync omni-tools at the end of this, you’ll have the access code and the bin number. Bay E-15, crate number A-129.” She glanced at Henrik. “I think you’ll be best used for the bordering party, along with Kosso and Saseen. Kesik, Valok, and myself will keep the entryway of the ship clear and make sure our goods get aboard okay and I want to keep an eye out for our tech team. Mark and Jaerdi will be looking after our hacking friends and making sure C-Pat isn’t a pain in the ass. If it makes any of you feel better about getting in a fight with cops, it really isn’t hard to come across riot control rounds in these parts.” Tanya activated her omni-tool, her own requesting connection with the other omni-tools in the room. “I’m sending you all maps, schematics, and points of interest that you may wish to go after in the 3 hours we have until the ship arrives, including stocking up on equipment, armouring up, and getting your gear down to E-15. Don’t forget your toothbrushes. Try to be in the hanger in two and a half hours.” She said, gathering herself as she prepared to get her own affairs in order.
_ _ _ _ _

Time, as it is, either crawls when you wish it to pass, or you feel like what little time you have is never enough. Tanya had immediately set off to find somewhere to eat – she wasn’t sure what kind of food would be on the ship, and she had no idea when she’d be able to enjoy a good full meal again. That task out of the way, all that was left was returning to her shared hotel room where she showered, put on her armour, and ran a final systems test on her equipment and weapons while a shitty batarian sitcom played on the vid screen in the background. Try as she might, there was no discernable way to find enjoyment out of it, and she was all but certain the only way the show was still on the air was because the Hegemony had made it a crime not declare passionate love for it. As her omni-tool beeped, declaring it was time to check out and head down to bay E-15. Tanya shut off the vid screen and sat with her shotgun laid across her lap, as if collapsing it would finalize the fact she really was going through with her plan.
The connected room's door opened and Kosso walked in, the drell looking like his affairs were already sorted out. Tanya looked up at him nervously, the reality of the situation finally sinking in. "So... we're doing this, huh?" she asked.

Kosso allowed himself a small smile as he settled into place along one of the walls, arms crossed. "Apparently, yes. It's stupid and we're going to die, but we're doing it anyway." He shrugged. "Because that's how it always goes with us, isn't it?" He raised one hand up before his face. It was trembing, shaking like a leaf in a storm. He watched his twitching fingertips with a sort of detatched disgust. "It started early this time. Thought maybe I'd finally shaken it."
Tanya rose up from the edge of the bed, leaving the shotgun behind. She approached her friend, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Come on, it'll be fine. We've done worse, and this time there's like, 90% less chance of drowning, unless somebody tips the water cooler." she paused. "Oh god, what if the ship doesn't have one?" she said in mock horror, trying to break Kosso's tension. He needed the reassurance more than her, it seemed.
Oh, who was she kidding? She was also scared shitless.

Kosso forced himself to give what he hoped was a more genuine-looking smile. "As long as its got a coffee machine and a fridge for booze, I think we'll manage." Honestly, her attempts at steadying him were helping to ease his nerves. Not for the first time, either. He wondered why, wondered how she could make him smile in the face of a coming storm. And then he remembered.

Sunlight on a sea of grass. The roar of a dozen ships. They descend like a flock around them. Blades of green part into whorls and torrents. She turns to him, armor dented, eyes squinting.

"Do you remember that job on Anhur?" He asked, distantly, back in the present. "The one that we thought for sure we weren't going to get out of alive?" His eyes were dilated, moving, tracing images that lived now only in memory. "Smile and a shotgun. Smells of sweat and smoke. 'Thought they'd send more,' you said. 'Guess this will be easy.' Finger on the trigger, smile aching. The doors open among exhaust."

His pupils contracted again as the memory faded. "But we did survive." He'd been staring off into space, but now he turned to Tanya with a grin. Because you wouldn't let us die, no matter how much I believed it. Because that's the day I realized we might be on to something great. "Because that's also how it always goes with us, isn't it?"
Tanya grinned in reply. "You mean that one where we actually met batarians who were against that whole assholish slaving thing? That was a good time. It felt good to be doing something for people for a change." her grin turned to something more like a genuine smile, something that had become more and more common in the past two and a half years. "The two of us, we've done some crazy shit, there's no doubt about that. And I wouldn't have changed a day of it." she said, stepping away from Kosso and opening a drawer. Reaching in, she retrieved a small parcel and brought it over to her friend, pulling out his hand and placing it in his palm. "For you, I felt shitty for missing your birthday a couple weeks back." she said.

Kosso arched a brow, amused. "I'm surprised you remembered. I wasn't even keeping track of the days, to be honest." His scaly fingers closed around the package. "This is going to have to be something really great to pay me back for all those times I've saved your ass."

The cheap wrapping paper fell away quickly, revealing a plain box. Inside was nestled a pair of dark sunglasses, sleek and professional. It was so unexpected, so appropriate, that Kosso couldn't help but laugh even as he slid them on. Fits even better than the old ones did. "Were you getting too distracted by my handsome eyes, or do you just prefer the more mysterious look?" His smile was genuine. "Thanks. Sorry all I got you for your last birthday was a case of beer and an expulsion from that bar on Omega."

"You're like a reverse snake charmer, in this case it's the reptile that was doing the distracting. I couldn't stand ignoring all those bullets when you kept shooting me smouldering glances... couldn't figure out if you were trying to seduce me, or figure out what was worth looting off my corpse." she smirked, which quickly turned into a smile at the sight of Kosso's own turn of expression. That alone was worth the extortionate cost. The man had very few happy moments in his life, she'd noticed. She had to laugh. "Oh, Kosso. I thought you knew me by now; always put your money into experiences instead of the materialistic. The memories are worth more in the end. Besides, you let a gal smash a 40-year-old bottle of scotch over some creep's head, you more than paid for a lifetime of fondness. You're welcome."

Kosso adjusted his new glasses one final time, settling into a tinted worldview with a sense of familiarity. "Well, now that we've got all the proper equipment, I guess it's time we go kick some Siame ass. With all the bums and lowlifes we just teamed up with, we're bound to get lucky and have a couple diamonds in the rough. We'll take that ship, and the first thing we'll do is raid their alcohol rations." Still smiling, he held his hand up again. This time, the fingers only trembled slightly, the majority of the shaking having subsided. "See? It's a good sign."

“Oh, good. And here I was wondering if you were going to be shooting up our new ship with your shaky hands. Besides, why else are we doing this? You just know those assholes are hording the good stuff.” Tanya let out a brief sigh, running a hand through her hair. “Time to go. We keep fucking around and our brigands are going to think we’re a couple tardy fucks who can’t be arsed to hijack a ship.” She said, moving to gather her gear. As she opened the door, she looked back at Kosso. “Oh, and Kosso? Don’t get hurt. I’d rather our first day not end up in the med bay.”
_ _ _ _ _

While not quite as grand as the docking bays present on the Citadel, Cartagena Station’s bays, arranged around the entire circumference of the station, were both spacious and capable of handling all manner of ships, the largest of military vessels being exempted. Docking Bay E-15 was no different. While it wasn’t quite as comfortable or presentable as a planetside spaceport terminal, its spartan presentation was utilitarian to the fullest. In many ways, it wasn’t unlike a military hanger, only slightly more chaotic and messy. The bay was actually connected to another with an open floor plan, E-15 and E-16 sharing a connected loading area and customs checkpoint. Not that there was a heck of a lot that was contraband on the station, it was mainly to keep Cartagena Station from becoming an easy drug trafficking destination, and anything past personal arms was strictly forbidden unless a company paid rent to store their arms in a warehouse. It wasn’t as if the station was a wild, overly dangerous place either; C-Pat was surprisingly well disciplined and equipped, with each officer carrying not only a sidearm, but his or her choice of long arm and a full set of armour. It wasn’t unlike the gang-controlled sectors in Omega, only the cops here were less likely to shake you down on principle. Tanya could only hope that the Administrator accepted her payment of a ship and a request for C-Pat to stay out of Bay E-15 to heart. She promised whatever happened in the docking bay wouldn’t move into the station proper, and the batarian station master seemed more than enthusiastic at the prospect of Siame Industries getting a black eye. The way he saw it, Cartagena Station was his, and he’d sooner die than let a bunch of meddling, self-righteous mercenaries wrestle control from himself. The man seemed more than content to keep the docking bay clear for the day and direct the Siame Industries vessel to it, after that it wasn’t his problem.

Tanya knew it might have been a set up, but she strongly suspected the Administrator was playing it straight. It was also why she made sure the hacking team was well aware they’d likely be locking out C-Pat from the systems as well and keeping the doors sealed. Too much was at stake to take any more risks than they needed to.

One by one, the team filed into the hanger and either dropped off their equipment in the storage container or adopted positions. Tanya checked her arm, a small LCD clock was installed in the armour. 25 minutes until show time. The handcuffs she’d be slapping on Kesik dangled from her webbing belt, themselves keyed to release with a signal from her omni-tool. It was a system she troubleshot for the better part of 40 minutes to get right; this was not the time for stupid chances.

She was watching the hacking team meet around Mark when the first of her bullshit prisoner party approached. She offered a nod. “Ready to do something stupid?” she asked.
I'm still at work, I should have the post up in a few hours, unless I get distracted by things like movies, co-worker wanting to grab a drink, girlfriend wanting Dervy love, or my neighbour's cats sneaking in my apartment again.
In So today... 12 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
I wouldn't worry about Gameboys not working 20 years down the road, I've read stories and seen pictures of one that was more or less melted in a mortar attack work flawlessly after the screen was replaced. I also think my GameCube will outlive me and the next 3 generations. Say what you will about Nintendo; they build stuff that makes military spec look like Walmart brand.

I want to do something similar, where my potential spermspawn grow up with everything videogame related that I did plus the new stuff. I'd like them to know of a simpler time where you don't have to buy DLC to escape the first level, preorder to get half the game's content, uploads their every move to Facebook, and games that aren't sequel numbered to the point it dwarves the Super Bowl.
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