Dervish Member
Let's get volatile
STATUS: Remember, nobody actually enjoys roleplaying if there isn't at least five shameful fetishes uncovered by the 2nd page. 5 yrs ago
- Last Seen: 1 yr ago
- Old Guild Username: Dervish
- Joined: 12 yrs ago
- Posts: 5991 (1.32 / day)
- VMs: 8
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Username history
- Dervish 12 yrs ago
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Latest 10 profile visitors:
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Most recent →
WardenCelestine,
Nyxella,
TokyoPewPew,
Tlaloc
Status
Recent Statuses
5 yrs ago
Current
Remember, nobody actually enjoys roleplaying if there isn't at least five shameful fetishes uncovered by the 2nd page.
5
likes
7 yrs ago
Somebody stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about it.
14
likes
7 yrs ago
Let's be honest, it's far more satisfying and challenging to actually imagine what a character looks like than paste a hundred gifs of a celebrity and call it good.
4
likes
7 yrs ago
So, a team of players who are good at playing as a team in a team-based game are individually bad players. Seems kind of silly when you put it like that, no?
8
likes
7 yrs ago
My goal these days is to have an RP that can actually finish, or the very least, last a few years. I see way too many die on page one to take chances
4
likes
Bio
Lowering the site's value since January 2012.
Most Recent Posts
Remember the good old days where you actually had to search for shit yourself? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Do it!
Oh look, a Broker post!
Debriefing D-26-76 Transcript
Subject: Agent Darius Ryloc
Assignment: Information Acquisition/ Target Elimination
Assignment Status: Completed
Handler: Jorin Malek
_________
Malek: Welcome back to Intrepid Station, Ryloc. You know how this goes. Any complications from the sedative?
Ryloc: No, but the assistant has a hell of a right hook. It’s a good thing our Personnel Resources Manager is apathy personified.
Malek: …Please don’t smoke in here. What exactly happened?
Ryloc: Let’s just say she got an eye full and she made a snide remark. I guess I misread her signal, and let’s just say that I don’t think we’re going out later this week.
Malek: …Right. So why don’t you give me the rundown of what happened?
Ryloc: A gentleman never tells.
Malek: (Groaning) No. Your assignment.
Ryloc: Oh, that. I secured the data packet, destroyed the network, and killed 7 rent-a-thugs, plus Nysalla Daleon, the so-called information broker who thought she’d black mail the boss. Oh, and I interrogated her, too. Can’t forget that. I have that exchange copied to an OSD. Might want to tidy it up a bit before sending it upstairs; she was a bit of a screamer.
Malek: I see. We’ll have to determine the validity of the content, since she was under duress and liable to say anything to try to alleviate the torture-
Ryloc: It wasn’t duress.
Malek: Explain.
Ryloc: (A pause, drag on cigarette) She mistook me for her lover in the dark. I simply asked her about her day when I entered her bed chambers.
Malek: You didn’t.
Ryloc: Did.
Malek: How did she not know you were a different person?
Ryloc: Studied the mark, worked on mimicking her lover’s voice before the mission. Turns out our voices were pretty close to begin with. Don’t worry, there isn’t any evidence. You know how shitty the gas lines can be in the Terminus. (Drag on cigarette) Plus, the Blue Suns aren’t known to be great detectives, even if they are the de facto law enforcement on Chalkos. I’m going to take a guess and say that Eclipse may how have a shot at that contract, considering the amount of charcoaled bodies with compound fractures and bullet holes.
Anyways, the mansion had one of those rudimentary security systems that’s popular with the D-list celebrities, you know, the wash-ups who resort to showing up in commercials because their funds ran dry and they’re desperate to revitalize their career. Apparently, Nysalla was an information broker on a budget. We knew she was an upstart and trying to get into the game, but to be frank, it was kind of embarrassing. I simply hacked into it, changed the sensitivity settings so everything from a strong wind to a big insect would trip the alarm. I forwarded the call service from the residence to go directly to a number I had temporarily linked to one of those cheap pre-paid phones, pretended to be the service department and told them that a technician would be out to fix it.
It was easy enough to obtain the uniform and tool kit prior to my deployment, and they didn’t give me as much as a second glance. From there, it was a simple matter of methodically eliminating the rent-a-thugs with some hand-to-hand takedowns and heavy-gauge pistol rounds, as well in one case I couldn’t resist strangling with one of those exercise jump ropes and dangling him from a balcony. Put a trip mine on the corpse in case any stragglers were around, and that’s when I paid Nysalla a visit and extracted information. Got tired of her screaming out, so I shoved one of her toys down her throat… (A giggle) it was actually hilarious. Likewise, I rigged her body up with a trip mine and hacked into her terminal and extracted the information she was going to sell to the Suns. It was kind of a letdown.
Malek: Yes, the information was pertaining to identifying the group responsible for the attack on the Blue Suns registered docking bay on Omega, in particular the identity of two of their former associates. She somehow also got word that they were planning on infiltrating a high-profile hanar crime lord based on Kahje named Brinzoner Luek’s scheduled investor party on his personal luxury yacht. She was planning on tipping off the Suns so they could send one of their own agents to interfere with and eliminate elements the group. It didn’t pan out, clearly. The Shadow Broker requested Khel Zhar to monitor the situation.
Ryloc: Oh, the stuck up krogan who thinks he’s fancy and ashamed of his heritage? He’s not exactly inconspicuous on account of being a fucking krogan.
Malek: He’s also one of the most respected entrepreneurs on Illium, and one of the richest men in the Terminus System. And if you want to talk about inconspicuous, choking a woman to death with her own sex toy, killing all her guards, and blowing up her home is the exact opposite of subtle.
Ryloc: Oh, and I threw her lover off of his apartment balcony afterwards. After making him listen to the audio of me screwing his girlfriend.
Malek: You… there are no words.
Ryloc: Come on. The guy was a Red Sand addict. He already thought he could fly.
Malek: Regardless of… your indiscretions, there was other sensitive information that the Broker found most useful. Enough to send you on another assignment, at least.
Ryloc: Please tell me it’s not Eden Prime. I can’t stand farmers.
Malek: No, that’s an… on going issue. Where did you hear about that?
Ryloc: Perry. She wanted to see if I was willing to switch jobs with her. I told her to go fuck herself.
Malek: No. You’re going to Taetrus.
Ryloc: Damn.
Malek: I thought that might interest you.
Ryloc: Humans have a saying, there’s no place like home. What am I looking for?
Malek: Facinus is the group that sold the Blue Suns the gas cylinders that Nova stole on Omega to help fund their operations. The turian government is trying to figure out how they got the gas in the first place, because they don’t believe Facinus stole the gas. Not directly, anyways. They’re offering good credits for information pertaining to that breach of security.
Ryloc: I do love myself a good mystery… and the chance to kill my dear uncle.
Malek: Quite. I think we’re done here. By the way, your actions have moved you up two places on the leaderboard. If you keep making the Broker happy, you might make it to be one of his preferred agents, and a candidate for the Wetwork squad. Dismissed.
__________
End of Transcript.
__________
Handler Notes: Agent Darius Ryloc has proven to be an effective and loyal agent with a high success rate for assignment completion. However, unprofessional conduct and his utter lack of regard for collateral damage may prove to be a liability. Agent Ryloc’s sociopathic mental condition prevents him from assigning emotional values to his actions, and indeed he seems to enjoy taking life to the extent of going out of his way during a mission to do so, and his condition may prove to be a liability that may require immediate addressing. Despite this, Agent Ryloc is excellent at covering his tracks and so far, no evidence has been recovered from the scenes of his assignments implicating him, or worse, the Shadow Broker. If his abilities can be refined and a more professional disposition towards his work be established, he has the potential to become one of the most effective field agents assigned to Intrepid Station. Recommend continuous observation and evaluation of Agent Ryloc’s performance, as well as providing incentives to encourage behaviour more in line of professional conduct.
Subject: Agent Darius Ryloc
Assignment: Information Acquisition/ Target Elimination
Assignment Status: Completed
Handler: Jorin Malek
_________
Malek: Welcome back to Intrepid Station, Ryloc. You know how this goes. Any complications from the sedative?
Ryloc: No, but the assistant has a hell of a right hook. It’s a good thing our Personnel Resources Manager is apathy personified.
Malek: …Please don’t smoke in here. What exactly happened?
Ryloc: Let’s just say she got an eye full and she made a snide remark. I guess I misread her signal, and let’s just say that I don’t think we’re going out later this week.
Malek: …Right. So why don’t you give me the rundown of what happened?
Ryloc: A gentleman never tells.
Malek: (Groaning) No. Your assignment.
Ryloc: Oh, that. I secured the data packet, destroyed the network, and killed 7 rent-a-thugs, plus Nysalla Daleon, the so-called information broker who thought she’d black mail the boss. Oh, and I interrogated her, too. Can’t forget that. I have that exchange copied to an OSD. Might want to tidy it up a bit before sending it upstairs; she was a bit of a screamer.
Malek: I see. We’ll have to determine the validity of the content, since she was under duress and liable to say anything to try to alleviate the torture-
Ryloc: It wasn’t duress.
Malek: Explain.
Ryloc: (A pause, drag on cigarette) She mistook me for her lover in the dark. I simply asked her about her day when I entered her bed chambers.
Malek: You didn’t.
Ryloc: Did.
Malek: How did she not know you were a different person?
Ryloc: Studied the mark, worked on mimicking her lover’s voice before the mission. Turns out our voices were pretty close to begin with. Don’t worry, there isn’t any evidence. You know how shitty the gas lines can be in the Terminus. (Drag on cigarette) Plus, the Blue Suns aren’t known to be great detectives, even if they are the de facto law enforcement on Chalkos. I’m going to take a guess and say that Eclipse may how have a shot at that contract, considering the amount of charcoaled bodies with compound fractures and bullet holes.
Anyways, the mansion had one of those rudimentary security systems that’s popular with the D-list celebrities, you know, the wash-ups who resort to showing up in commercials because their funds ran dry and they’re desperate to revitalize their career. Apparently, Nysalla was an information broker on a budget. We knew she was an upstart and trying to get into the game, but to be frank, it was kind of embarrassing. I simply hacked into it, changed the sensitivity settings so everything from a strong wind to a big insect would trip the alarm. I forwarded the call service from the residence to go directly to a number I had temporarily linked to one of those cheap pre-paid phones, pretended to be the service department and told them that a technician would be out to fix it.
It was easy enough to obtain the uniform and tool kit prior to my deployment, and they didn’t give me as much as a second glance. From there, it was a simple matter of methodically eliminating the rent-a-thugs with some hand-to-hand takedowns and heavy-gauge pistol rounds, as well in one case I couldn’t resist strangling with one of those exercise jump ropes and dangling him from a balcony. Put a trip mine on the corpse in case any stragglers were around, and that’s when I paid Nysalla a visit and extracted information. Got tired of her screaming out, so I shoved one of her toys down her throat… (A giggle) it was actually hilarious. Likewise, I rigged her body up with a trip mine and hacked into her terminal and extracted the information she was going to sell to the Suns. It was kind of a letdown.
Malek: Yes, the information was pertaining to identifying the group responsible for the attack on the Blue Suns registered docking bay on Omega, in particular the identity of two of their former associates. She somehow also got word that they were planning on infiltrating a high-profile hanar crime lord based on Kahje named Brinzoner Luek’s scheduled investor party on his personal luxury yacht. She was planning on tipping off the Suns so they could send one of their own agents to interfere with and eliminate elements the group. It didn’t pan out, clearly. The Shadow Broker requested Khel Zhar to monitor the situation.
Ryloc: Oh, the stuck up krogan who thinks he’s fancy and ashamed of his heritage? He’s not exactly inconspicuous on account of being a fucking krogan.
Malek: He’s also one of the most respected entrepreneurs on Illium, and one of the richest men in the Terminus System. And if you want to talk about inconspicuous, choking a woman to death with her own sex toy, killing all her guards, and blowing up her home is the exact opposite of subtle.
Ryloc: Oh, and I threw her lover off of his apartment balcony afterwards. After making him listen to the audio of me screwing his girlfriend.
Malek: You… there are no words.
Ryloc: Come on. The guy was a Red Sand addict. He already thought he could fly.
Malek: Regardless of… your indiscretions, there was other sensitive information that the Broker found most useful. Enough to send you on another assignment, at least.
Ryloc: Please tell me it’s not Eden Prime. I can’t stand farmers.
Malek: No, that’s an… on going issue. Where did you hear about that?
Ryloc: Perry. She wanted to see if I was willing to switch jobs with her. I told her to go fuck herself.
Malek: No. You’re going to Taetrus.
Ryloc: Damn.
Malek: I thought that might interest you.
Ryloc: Humans have a saying, there’s no place like home. What am I looking for?
Malek: Facinus is the group that sold the Blue Suns the gas cylinders that Nova stole on Omega to help fund their operations. The turian government is trying to figure out how they got the gas in the first place, because they don’t believe Facinus stole the gas. Not directly, anyways. They’re offering good credits for information pertaining to that breach of security.
Ryloc: I do love myself a good mystery… and the chance to kill my dear uncle.
Malek: Quite. I think we’re done here. By the way, your actions have moved you up two places on the leaderboard. If you keep making the Broker happy, you might make it to be one of his preferred agents, and a candidate for the Wetwork squad. Dismissed.
__________
End of Transcript.
__________
Handler Notes: Agent Darius Ryloc has proven to be an effective and loyal agent with a high success rate for assignment completion. However, unprofessional conduct and his utter lack of regard for collateral damage may prove to be a liability. Agent Ryloc’s sociopathic mental condition prevents him from assigning emotional values to his actions, and indeed he seems to enjoy taking life to the extent of going out of his way during a mission to do so, and his condition may prove to be a liability that may require immediate addressing. Despite this, Agent Ryloc is excellent at covering his tracks and so far, no evidence has been recovered from the scenes of his assignments implicating him, or worse, the Shadow Broker. If his abilities can be refined and a more professional disposition towards his work be established, he has the potential to become one of the most effective field agents assigned to Intrepid Station. Recommend continuous observation and evaluation of Agent Ryloc’s performance, as well as providing incentives to encourage behaviour more in line of professional conduct.
mdk said
Pi day!
Richard Parker, why don't you look back?
Sherlock Holmes said
Speak in English, please.
Sherlock Holmes said
You know... Before the old Guild crashed I probably could have sent him stuff that would have even made the most stoic person blush. (Pickings in the new 1x1 section have been slim by comparison so far, however. Give it some time -- I'm sure it'll fill up with 'good' stuff again.)
Their defeat was merely delayed. The time after RPG crashed. When the members of 1x1 would spill their own seed.
No one wanted to believe... Believe moderators did their duties. But when the mods got on, they came down with fury.
But there is one they fear. In their tongue he is Smut Police, Spamborn!
Oh yar, your Youtube links aren't working. With the new forum, you just need the last characters after the equal sign at the end of the URL.
And knowing is half the battle! Also, replied.
And knowing is half the battle! Also, replied.
Voltaire said
I shall assist you Dripper, in Dervs and NoSouls absence.Not death metal exactly, but still really good.Lemme know if your thirst for METAL (it needs to be all caps) has not yet been sated.
YOU ARE MOMENTARILY TOO LATE.
I HAVE DONE MY DUTY.
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