Frizan

The Tell-tale Spam (Tell a spooky story one sentence at a time).

"My dick is made of bologna" said a strange man in a mime outfit.

I'm actually doing that roleplaying thing again

I dunno, I actually have a good feeling about this one. My first foray into Advanced; I hope it sticks, honestly.

I'm actually doing that roleplaying thing again

What a NERD amirite?

Star Wars - Edge of Rebellion

Alright, there we go, all done.

Star Wars - Edge of Rebellion

Name: Jacob "Jackie" Parson

Age: 26

Species: Human

Appearance: One might say that Jacob is a little short to be an imperial trooper. His squad mates easily go over him by a few inches, and they are no giants themselves, the tallest standing at only around six feet tall. His short platinum blonde hair is always in a shaggy mess; Jacob has stopped bothering to comb it down as his helmet will rip it all up as soon as he puts it on, showing only his soft brown eyes anyway. One very-visible scar, which would most likely be correctly identified as cauterized by anyone passing by, reaches down from his forehead, curves around the bridge of his nose, and continues down his face until it reaches his upper lip. Several perpetually-dirty smudges dot his face, a testament to all of the field work he gets sent on in comparison to the pencil pushers and desk jockies that litter the imperial army. His trooper armor covers the rest of his body.

Abilities/Skills:

• Blaster rifle marksmanship training
• Survivalist training
• Proficiency with the maintenance and repair of weapons and equipment, such as blasters, re-breathers, and environment suits.

Equipment:

• Field-repair toolkit
• Blaster rifle
• "1001 Varieties of Flora and Fauna: A Trooper's Survival Guide", a book written by Jacob's commander when training to become a trooper. Never quite got to the publishing point, though.

Personality/Motivation: Jacob, while not a man without principles, is fiercely loyal to the Empire, and by extension, his superiors. If ordered, Jacob will swiftly massacre a village, as he would assume the action to be necessary to secure a united and prosperous Empire. When left to his own devices, he prefers to forgo any perceived unneeded collateral damage and complete his objectives with surgical precision, following the instructions of his superior officer to the letter. Off-duty, it would have very hard to pick Jacob out of a crowd, as he behaves like any other person: He jokes, he makes casual conversation, and doesn't embellish any details about his work. It would shock most people to know that he'd be ready to kill them without hesitation if the order ever came.

Jacob fights for a united and prosperous Empire, where all can forge their own path in life, and he thoroughly believes that even the simple slave will be able to rise to greatness if they would just give the Empire a chance to sort things out. He feels pity for revolting slaves and rebels, as Jacob sees it as them simply not realizing that the very toils they scorn will give rise to a system where they can be their own men and women, and by revolting, are sealing their fates as mere slaves and peasants.

One day, as a sort of a pie-in-the-sky dream, Jacob wishes to join the ranks of Imperial Intelligence as a special agent. In short, Jacob has watched too many spy flicks, and is either naive, or chooses to ignore the fact that missions given to Agents are not always as fantastic as single-handedly shutting down a Rebel orbital platform's defense systems or busting a galactic smuggling ring. Still, Jacob keeps his head high and his loyalty to the Empire strong in hopes of a chance at reaching that pie.

Biography: Born and raised on Boonta near Hollow Rock to a family of scrap-hoarders loyal to the Empire, Jacob was quickly taken in by the tales of fantastic feats of strength and brilliance displayed by the Empire's finest, told to him as bedtime stories by his mother and father. When not collecting the junk that crash-landed out of the orbital trash heap above, Jacob helped his father make use of it all, building all manner of utilities and repairing things brought to them by their neighbors in the surrounding area. Jacob's proudest moment came at the age of fourteen, when a patrolling squad of troopers were making their rounds around the perimeter of Hollow Rock. He heard one of the troopers complaining about their blaster rifle malfunctioning. When Jacob approached and, rather sheepishly out of reverence, offered to repair it, the trooper took him up on his offer, albeit with a strong tone of sarcasm which Jacob quickly picked up on. He simply took this as a challenge. The squad followed Jacob to his workshop where he examined the rifle. After a few minutes of prodding and dismantling, he discovered the cause of the malfunction, that being a power cell had discharged prematurely in its chamber, frying some of the circuitry. Jacob got to work, replacing the affected wires and chips with, although old and fidgety, functioning components. Handing the rifle back to the trooper, he cheered to himself silently when seeing the face of the trooper after a successful test-fire: Complete and total bewilderment. After an explanation of the problem and how to both avoid and remedy it in the future, the trooper thanked Jacob and even gave him some credits as payment.

Six years later, Jacob waved good-bye to the beaming, proud faces of his parents as he left for the capital city to join the ranks of the imperial army. For him, the posters and stories from travelers did not do Boonta justice. He marveled at the governor's palace and watched the many ships fly to and from the spaceport, their reflective hulls occasionally blinding Jacob. He even saw some of the people that were in the stories his parents used to tell him as a child. Embarrassingly, it took all of his strength not to run up and greet them. He eventually forced himself to stop admiring the hub, and made his way to the recruitment center. Jacob spent the better part of nearly a year at the academy. He had opted for additional courses, specifically in survival and mechanical engineering, so he spent more time in training than some of his peers, who were content with their basic combat training and took the chance to ship out early. At twenty one years old with all the teachings of his instructors he could keep in his head, Jacob was shipped out back to Boonta. His first assignment was as a mine guard near Hollowed Rock, but he never got to see his parents as they were a few miles out from his post, and strict schedules didn't leave time for him to trek all the way out to visit. Jacob continued to be given smaller assignments all the way up to present day, slowly gaining rank, and is currently a Corporal, which he understands that he will be until he sees major action, but he is content with it.

Secrets: Jacob collects flowers of all types, and keeps them in an air-tight glass case under his bunk, with some smaller spares in his locker.

Relations: N/A

Star Wars - Edge of Rebellion

This seems like it'd be a good first-time Advanced rp for me. I'd be happy to join in if you'd have me.

You are sitting in the back of a cop car with the avatar above... (Game)

Your face is on fire! Hold on I'll get some water!

Deus Ex just got spoopy on my ass

So, my first ever playthrough of Deus Ex. Bought it when it was on sale for like a dollar a week ago and got the Revision mod for it. It's pretty good stuff. There's so much freedom given to the player, feels like all the devs did was write a story and construct the game world and left it at that. The game lets you run wild.

Here's where it gets pretty damn spooky though: I got to mission 11 I think, where you go to the Lower East Side Cemetery to meet Spoiler-Man. Before meeting him, I found a key to the chapel that was just outside the main gate and decide to take a look. Opened the doors and found...fucking nothing. Just some pews and a lectern. I also found a pipe in the wall that I could interact with; and so I did. But I'm stupid, and looked everywhere but behind me for what might have opened, but I'll get to the later.

I go and meet the dude, learn more about the story, and then a squad of fucking shock troopers ruin my goddamn fun. I get out of the building where I met the dude and sneak around the soldiers. I ducked back into the chapel to wait out a patrol, and that's when I see a trap door that was opened by the pipe I messed with. "Oh, a secret area!" thought I, and I promptly dove headfirst into a room that looked like part of a catacomb. Inside there was an elevator that took so long to reach the bottom of the shaft that it felt like I was descending into the pits of hell, and looking back, I was pretty fucking spot-on. So here I was, in even MORE catacombs. Dark as fuck and my bio-energy was running low. Silly me, I didn't hoard flares so I got into a position of "fucked" fairly fast. I go through the creepy-ass tunnels, past a coffin that WAS LAUGHING AT ME into a large room full of coffins, with one alcove at the end. Turning one of the crosses in the room opened up another hidden room with another coffin; inside was an Ancient Sword. I picked it up, and guess who's back? The laughing douchebag from the coffin. Still disembodied of course. The way behind me shuts, trapping me. I eventually run out of energy so my light augmentation shuts off. Yay.

Thankfully I find a hidden switch in one of the support beams which opens up another trap door sending me even deeper in those bullshit tunnels. Honestly, I half-expected a Minotaur to come running at me as I progressed, but I was disappointed. Instead of a Minotaur were two chicken-raptors manufactured by the Big Bad Company(TM). Put the two bastards to sleep with a healthy overdose of tranq darts from my mini-crossbow(love that thing). Later in the tunnels, I fall through a fake floor, sending me into a pool of water populated by alligator things, also manufactured by the Big Bad Company(TM). Eventually I climb my way back up, and jump across the fake floor. More laughter from the ghostly dickhead. Why couldn't it be Casper instead?

Fortunately, that was the end of the Wild Ride and I took no time at all punching the "up" button on the elevator.

Then I jabbed the shock troopers topside in the neck with my riot prod, and all was good in the world.

Jesus that was longer than I'd thought it would be. Maybe I should turn this into a creepy pasta? I mean, most of the foundation's already there. All I need to do is write a paragraph about the laughing ghosty saying my name and trying to spook me, and describing game mechanics that actually aren't in the game to make it look like my digital TOTALLY DISC BASED copy is "haunted" or something. Oh, and I could also add that I couldn't find a SINGLE reference to the place when I googled it. The walkthroughs I looked at didn't even give it a passing mention or acknowledgement. Anyway thanks for reading my stupid story about my first time playing Deus Ex.

TL;DR: I find a spoopy secret area in the first Deus Ex and get spooped out by a spoopy ghost spoop while evading spoopy traps of spoopyness.

Let's B!tch. I feel it's a healthy release for our roleplay annoyances 2.0

This is a roleplayer public service announcement: Writing with enough purple prose to make Shakespeare wet his trousers in delight doesn't make you "deep" or "intelligent", it makes you sound like a pretentious twat who is SERIOUSLY compensating for something.

Not saying you need to be like Ernest Hemingway and write as plainly as possible, but there's no need to steal from a Roman noble's vault of purple dye.

We're the masters of space!