Hank

I have a penis-related question but I have no idea how to phrase it.

To everyone that answered the question: Clearly the up-tuck is for people who fear midday boners. Everyone else is confused, not easily boner-fied, or has a micropeen.

@Taaj

This made me consider the possibility that your boyfriend still tucks up his dick as a leftover habit from high school. You'd think that, at his age, he wouldn't be susceptible to random boners any more.

I just had the most boring breakfast

<Snipped quote by Hank> Are you implying that@Halo is an altogether mundane individual? … or were you being explicit.

@Holmishire

He studies math.

I don't like Sophi looking at Spam

I don't think she has a reason to be dissapointed with what's going on right now.

@Smink

You are a delusional twat.

RP Tag Requests

@NuttsnBolts 40K is technically sci-fantasy.

Quotes of the Day.

"'TILL THE SWEAT DROPS DOWN MY BALLS AAAALL THEM BITCHES CRAWL OOOHHH SKEET SKEET MUTHAFUCKA, AWWW SKEET SKEET GODDAMN _GODDAMN"

I made a mistake

Mahz is responsible for bringing me to Spam. Why, you might ask? I'll explain: he created it. Fun fact, Spam didn't exist when I joined and the biggest problem the Off-Topic section faced back then (ah, innocent times) were a great multitude of forum games. Spam was initially created to contain them. It's only when people figured out that they could shitpost there to their hearts content that it turned into the cesspool we all knew and loved.

There's some fun controversy stuff going on here

gay

I just had the most boring breakfast

Why on earth would you solicit Halo's help, of all people?

Airedale's Rebirth

Lord Gideon Eisenhorn talked as much as he listened that evening. He had invited most of the well-educated elite in Airedale to attend, which really meant he should have let them talk if he was so interested in scholarly discourse, but the Earl had spent a significant portion of the past three years 'brushing up' on his own academic knowledge and thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to verbally display his prowess. Occasionally his eyes would drift over to miss Goldburrow, who seemed too absorbed with the food to be doing much talking. That ought to soften her up, Gideon thought to himself while laughing at an atrocious joke by Matthew Eriador, the cartographer. Gideon had hired his services to create more accurate and up-to-date maps, as these had not yet been created since the war. Most of Airedale had been reclaimed and now firmly belonged to what one might call civilized land, but there were still portions (most of the forests, for example) that remained mysterious. "How goes your work, actually?" Lord Eisenhorn asked him. Taking a second to think, Matthew dabbed at his mouth with a napkin before putting it down and speaking. "Slow, truth be told," he admitted. "Most of the locals are hesitant to talk about the forests, much less escort me there." Matthew shook his head and sighed. "Superstitious lot, but what can you do? It would be a lot easier if you would be so kind to lend me a few of your footmen, my Lord." Gideon smiled and nodded sagely. "Consider it done. I will have Jettred draft a detail for you in the morning. If I may ask," he said, pausing to lean forward slightly, "what is it the locals are superstitious about?" At this, Matthew laughed. "Oh, I don't know, some nonsense. They're always very quick to assure me that Airedale is a safe place -- which they thank you for -- but the forests seem to frighten them all the same. Perhaps it's just fear of the unknown?" "Hmm. Perhaps," Gideon said, frowning at his food. He glanced at miss Goldburrow again, just in time to catch her looking right back at him. Caught in the honeyglow of her eyes for a moment, Gideon smiled, broke eye contact and looked around the tables. Most of the food seemed to be gone and he saw few of his guests still eating. Motioning for a servant, Gideon gave instructions in a low tone, then stood up and loudly cleared his throat. "I hope you all enjoyed the food as much as I did," he said after the grand hall's murmur had quieted down. Appreciative applause for the servants and cooks swept the room. "Now it is time for the real talk to begin." Servants stepped forward and started ushering guests up and out of their seats, and the large dining tables were replaced with smaller, round ones, upon which platters with drinks in fine, crystal glasses were quickly placed. "Mingle, please!" Gideon exclaimed, clapping his hands together. As the guests started animatedly talking about their work with each other, Gideon moved through them, politely declining invitations to join a conversation wherever he stepped until he found Cicely. "Miss Goldburrow," he said, looking her up and down. "That dress becomes you very well. Please, come with me to my study, and I will explain why I have invited you here." He gestured towards the stairs and gently guided her towards them with his other hand on her shoulder. With practiced movements, servants moved between Gideon, Cicely and the other guests, obscuring the two from view and allowing the Earl to slip away with his charge unnoticed. After ushering Cicely into his study, he closed the door behind them and smiled. "Please, sit down. Can I offer you a drink?"

I have a penis-related question but I have no idea how to phrase it.

My boyfriend apparently flips/tucks it up. This is totally baffling to me. I don't get it. It makes his "bulge" look bigger than it ought to and forces him to readjust it periodically (sometimes uncomfortably often) during the day. DO ALL/MOST MEN DO THIS?????????

@Taaj

This is definitely the weirdest thing I've read all day. I have never heard of anyone doing that. You're supposed to just let it chill down there. That's what boxer briefs are for, to comfortably cup your cock & balls while they're hanging out. I'm not sure I'm even picturing this correctly. what the fuck man