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6 yrs ago
Current It's called the circle of life because life is pointless.
6 yrs ago
"I should go." - Commander Shepard
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6 yrs ago
Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humour.
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6 yrs ago
I want to travel to Prague so I can Czech it off the list of places to visit.
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6 yrs ago
I ordered 1000 kilograms of Chinese soup. It was wonton.
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Mountain Dew Quickscope

Echo of a Wizard's Tower-Governance Hub


Mountain shut the door behind him and looked around the building. As far as he could tell, the entire place was pitch-black, lit only by flashes of lightning outside. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a large flashlight that doubled as a lantern and switched it on. The bright LEDs contained in the light illuminated the entire building. He did a quick sweep of the entire place, noting the interior's bareness, before setting it down by its feet. From there, Mountain walked around the area, silently disappointed by the fact that there was no loot anywhere. However, his hopes were soon restored when he caught sight of a fresh backpack sitting by the foot of a wooden cot, which next to small makeshift firepit in the middle of the room. Rushing over to it, he swiftly unzipped it, keen on finding out what goodies were stored inside, only for his hopes to be crushed once again when he found completely normal camping supplies inside, which he didn't need.

Rather annoyed, he took his anger out on the cot, first picking it up and throwing it at the wall, which caused it to break into several pieces. Then, he tore the pieces into smaller pieces, before tossing them all into the firepit. Following this, he took out a bottle of lighter fluid and poured some onto the firewood, glanced at the bottle, shrugged, and tossed the entire thing into the pile. He rummaged through his pockets and fished out a plastic BIC lighter, flicked it several times to get a small flame, and threw it into the pit. The wood instantly ignited, bathing the area in a nice orange hue and providing some warmth. It was getting pretty cold with the rain outside, after all.

Now with a brighter source of light, Mountain was free to pick out all the details in the building. There was a staircase by the opposite wall, and he could pick up the sharp scent of finely-aged wine as he neared it, though he also could smell... something else, and it didn't smell good, either. He assumed there was a wine cellar below. Walking up the staircase, he found that the upper level was blocked by a locked hatch. Frowning, Mountain wondered if he had to get a thousand points to unlock it. Other than that, there really wasn't anything else. After inspecting it for several minutes, he descended back down to the first floor, feeling somewhat tired now that the effects of caffine had worn off.

Making his way back the blazing fire, he reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a miniature red and white bed. He then tossed it onto the floor, and suddenly, the bed seemed to expand until it was nearly ten times its previous size. It looked like a regular super single bed now. Mountain sat on the bed and absorbed the heat, eating a bag of Doritos and a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red to wash it down for dinner. However, try as he could, he couldn't take his mind off the hatch. Something about it seemed awfully suspicious, and he had played so many horror games and watched enough horror movies to know. Tossing the remains of his Doritos and Mountain Dew into the fire (which caused it to glow red and green for a second), he stood up and walked towards the hatch. He stared at it, half expecting it to suddenly open or for a knock to come from the other side, but nothing came. Still feeling paranoid, he took out a Dew grenade and tied it to a piece of string, before tying it to the hatch. If anything opened the hatch, it would receive a nasty electric shock.

Finally satisfied, he walked back down and lay down on the bed, taking out a joint filled with the dankest marijuana from Snoop Dogg's Garden of Weeden itself, and lit it using the fire. He gently puffed on it, feeling high as fuck and relaxed, before tossing it away and crawling underneath the covers and closing his eyes. Soon, he was fast asleep and snoring, undisturbed by the thunderstorm outside, rocked to sleep by the soft pitter-patter of rain on the windows.

-----------------------------


Distant booms jolted Mountain awake the next morning. So startled in fact, that it caused him to teleport to the top of the room in shock. Blearly-eyed, Mountain blinked and looked around, noticing that he was several metres above the ground. "Aw, crap." And then he fell for a much longer time than what was normal for someone falling from that height, before smashing into the ground, missing the bed by just an inch. Grumbling, he grabbed the wooden supports and pulled himself up. Rubbing the pain out of his back, he yawned and stretched, smacking his lips together to get the foul taste of a night's sleep out of his mouth. He then blinked several times, finally noticing that it was daytime, which confirmed the time as six-thirty in the morning when he checked his G-Shock watch.

"Huh, I haven't felt that rested in a while." Mountain muttered, before pushing the door open and walking out, curious to find out what that massive explosion was. Walking out, he noticed that the sun was just beginning to rise, given that it was only slightly above the horizon, which shone through the distant clouds and glistened off puddles of water from last night's storm. The city was pretty peaceful during this time, too. Birds were chirping and the air was nice, and there were no annoying cars honking their horns, clueless pedestrians who caused the drivers to honk their horns, and the toxic fumes of carbon monoxide. The sun was then blotted out by a rising cloud of dust from what Mountain presumed was where the explosion came from.

Above, several black helicopters zipped by, followed by odd flying objects. Mountain raised an eyebrow, before the area he was in was suddenly bathed in shadow. Confused, Mountain turned around to the sky, and his eyes widened when he saw a massive black shape hovering in the air. "You have got to be kidding me. It's fucking Independence Day now?" He almost shouted.

Suddenly, Mountain's heart thingy came to life. Out came the cheerful voice of the announcer, joyfully informing each contestant that teams from the College would start moving in to study the area. He then went on to say that the nerds from the College had discovered things called 'Echoes', apparently places that didn't belong in the city 'phasing in', so to speak. Mountain turned around and stared at the watchtower, wondering if it was an Echo. It certainly didn't look like it belonged, and it had seemingly risen out from the ground, given the cracked concrete around its base Mountain had missed during the storm. What really caught Mountain's attention, however, was what Oren said next. He spoke of things called 'Factions', a term Mountain knew all to well from his years of gaming. NPCs milling around, each one belonging to a certain group. He wondered if they were hostiles to each other, but he guessed he would just have to find out.

There was the sound of rustling papers over the mic, before Oren cleared his throat and informed each contestant that Round 2 was now in session. He said that it was intra-zone, so everyone had some exploring to do. Then he said that everyone could call for help if needed for up to three times, for directions or information. Excellent. Mountain always got lost during certain quests. Once that bit of information was relayed, Oren hung up. When he did, there was a slur of feedback and burst of static on Mountain's end, causing him to rear back. "AUGH! Dammit, man, get a better mic for fuck's sake!" Mountain angrily cried. So, his opponent was going to be in a different zone, which meant he probably had enough time to go hunting for loot before rekking his opponent's ass.

His stomach suddenly rumbled, reminding him that he hadn't eaten yet. He couldn't rekt on an empty stomach, after all. Walking back into the relative safety of the watchtower, Mountain pulled out his regular breakfast: a weed sandwich and Mountain Dew Kickstart, along with a Taco Bell waffle taco. He devoured his meal, feeling rejuvenated and full. That done, he punched his bed, which caused it to shrink into its original size. He stashed it away in his pocket and walked back out, sparring the tower one final look before getting into the Range Rover he had parked in front of the building last night. He switched on the engine and sat there for a bit, combing his messy hair into something was somewhat less messy, before driving off, following the road wherever it went, though it was in the general direction of the explosion.

Mountain connected the phylactery to the car via Bluetooth (which it had for some reason) and gave Oren a call. "Hey, man." He began. "I kind of need your help for something. Can you tell me if there are any quests available with epic loot rewards nearby?"

@Damiann47

No worries.
Parker shrunk back at Silvia's sudden outburst and put his open palms in front of him. "Whoa, calm down. I told you, I'm a technician. I repair broken computers and fix technical issues." He put his hands down. "To be exact, the jacket's carbon kevlar polycotton, nanoengineered synthetic fibres. My jacket was manufactured in the Brisk Fabrication Yards on Hiemal. It's made by the Advent Corporation." He showed her his powered-down holotool for a closer look. "As I said earlier, my holotool's a compact computer. I can connect and browse the StellarNet whenever I want. Don't you know that?"

Of course, the confusion came when she said something about his civilisation being weird. "Okay, what?" He asked in disbelief. "I knew the colonies were diverse, but damn, you not knowing what a holotool even is?" That probably supported his suspicion that she was from an isolated colony or something. "Can you at least tell me what planet you're from?"
In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda.

Yugi and the Beastie Boys decided to play hopscotch and all died of pulmonary embolisms. But then the unthinkable happened. Half-Life 3 was released, and this of course meant that Gabe Newell became the new doctor, with complimentary companion included. As Elon Musk charged his electric nipple clamps, he fantasised about Gabe Newell in a sexy nightgown in a self driving automobile.

"Ohh Gaben" swooned Elon, with much drool as he continued eating Littlefoot's computer. Yoga & Yoda drove to South Dakota, where Boba & Mona Lisa went to a water park and swam with the pixies.

George Lucas just sat alone, getting smashed with Darth Vader
Parker raised an eyebrow. "Wool? No one makes clothes out of wool anymore." He picked up his discarded jacket and showed it to her. "My jacket's made out of carbon kevlar polycotton." He said, running his fingers through the material. "It's waterproof and highly durable, along with providing excellent insulation." He pulled off his weatherproof gloves, revealing a pair of fingerless ones underneath. He just liked to wear them, and they helped provide some protection when handling machinery.

Silvia then asked about the device on his wrist. "My holotool? It's a computer. I can browse the net, read some reports, record some videos and stills, and play games." He explained, tapping it and expanding the holographic interface, which glowed blue. He tapped it several times, and graphs and diagrams, mostly on the current weather outside appeared. He tapped it again, causing them to disappear and the tool to power down, displaying only time and current weather.

The girl suddenly spread her arms wide, and Parker immediately shifted backwards with a yelp, startled. "What? I'm not a noble. We don't even have nobility anymore. Not in more than a thousand years. I'm just a technician." He looked around the interior of his house, lit by several electronic lights. "My house isn't massive. It's just a normal three-storey house. It's not even the biggest in this neighbourhood. My family's owned this place for years."
"Where do you come from, anyway?" Parker asked, leaning back. "And what do you mean you've never seen anyone dress like me before?" He gestured to his discarded jacket. "It's normal for people to be wearing this in subzero temperatures." Now, Parker was pretty confused. Why would she never have seen clothes like him before? Maybe she was from an isolated colony or something? But then again, there was one thing she said which was really bugging him. "Far away... hm."

Parker's holotool beeped twice as an alert, and he tapped it. The display immediately expanded, showing time, temperature, and most importantly, weather alerts. The most prominent of which was the current weather condition outside. It was negative fifty right now. Ten degrees within the span of less than half an hour wasn't good. "Looks like we won't be going anywhere in a while." He paused, contemplating what to say next. "And, well, I guess since you're very far from home, according to you, you're uh, welcome to stay here until we figure out what to do."

He was being too welcome and trustful. He knew that. But curiosity and concern overrode those two thoughts. This was a real mystery.
@Damiann47 Sure.
Parker raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean you don't remember how you got here?" He asked, leaning in closer to her. "People don't exactly appear out of thin air, you know." He gestured over to Silvia's clothes. "But with clothes like that, I would've guessed you're from Arcadia or something." Arcadia was, of course, a mainly tropical planet composed of numerous islands of varying size floating on an immensely large ocean. Parker had never been there, but its inhabitants always seemed to dress for the warm weather. Silvia's clothes reminded him of the ones Arcadians wore to formal events. Still, her clothes looked far too ancient, almost as if they were from another time.

The technician put a hand to his chin. "Unless scientists on Axis Mundi have been experimenting with teleportation again." He'd seen vids and read reports on the topic. A colony that really was one big research facility. Very popular place for scientists due to the lack of populated settlements. Last time he checked, the scientists there were messing around with a weather control device, which went badly wrong and blew up itself, the research team, and a chunk of the continent it was on. However, teleportation was something they were researching years ago. The project was shut down when people started disappearing from various colonies. "Where is your home, anyway?"
Name: Arbiter Thel 'Vadam

Universe: Halo

Appearance: "Were it so easy..." Thel stands at an imposing height of 7'10" (2.39m) and appears to be hunched over. Thel's jaw is quadruple-hinged, with an upper jaw, a greatly reduced lower jaw which are four mandible-like 'lips'. With few exceptions, these mandibles are generally shown with six teeth each; many sources also depict an additional large fang on the tips of each mandible. His hands are tetradactyl, having four digits; two middle fingers, and two opposing thumbs on the outside for grasping, and his legs are also digitigrade, with short upper and lower legs, and elongated tarsals, using the distal and intermediate phalanges to support their weight when walking. This arrangement possibly allows them to run very quickly and jump large distances. Thel has least two hearts, which circulate purple/indigo-colored blood through his veins; the coloration is most likely caused by bimetallic hemoglobin, possibly cobalt-iron, whereas the crimson-blooded Humans possess monometallic iron-based hemoglobin. His skin is ash grey in colour, and he has slitted amber eyes. Other than this, he is always wearing his Arbiter armour. It is composed of a bronze/silvery metal, with ornate engravings and metal work, indicating the Arbiter's ceremonial nature.

Personality: Thel, like all Sangheili, is keen to do things in an honorable manner, though he is more flexible when it comes to equipment, weapons, and vehicles. His hatred of the Jiralhanae doesn't seem to be as strong or destructive as that of other Sangheili; one example of this is when the Arbiter tried to reason with Tartarus in Installation 05's Control Room. He is shown to be true to his title "Arbiter" as he often tries to negotiate with some of his other enemies (Yanme'e, for example) and will only kill when forced to do so. He has deep respect for his fellow Sangheili and a grudging respect for the humans, specifically John-117 and Sergeant Johnson.

Despite being a former enemy of humanity, Thel has shown a willingness to fight alongside them toward a common goal. Even before peace was established, Thel was willing to work with Avery Johnson to stop Tartarus. Johnson's aid in the fight with Tartarus and the fight he put against him earlier may have earned Vadam's respect as he seemed to respect Johnson in their later encounters. He also showed sorrow at Johnson's death, and said that even beyond death, the Sergeant still guided them. He was also willing to fight side by side and back to back with the Master Chief, someone he once considered a great enemy. Thel also respected humanity enough to be present at a memorial to everyone who fell in the war. While he respected the humans he was wary of their intent and likely had his own reason for having Evan Phillips visiting Sanghelios.

Powers/Skills:

  • Combat Mastery: The Arbiter is very experienced at combat and has extensive knowledge of every weapon and vehicles. The Arbiter expressed a desire to understand human weapons even before his alliance with the UNSC.
  • Close Combat: Thel is a master with his Energy Sword, having practised since he was young. He is skilled the point where he can single-handedly defeat multiple skilled assassins at once.
  • Master Strategist: One of the few advantages that Humanity had over the Covenant was how the latter stubbornly refused to use innovative tactics against the former. Thel 'Vadam completely subverted this handicap by being so unpredictable that the even the most experienced and educated strategists of the UNSC couldn't counter his strategies. What makes this all the more remarkable is that Thel 'Vadam came from a culture that ostracised traits such as innovation and creativity, yet he somehow managed to develop these qualities independently.
  • Elite Traits: As a Sangheili, Thel is physically superior to humans. He is comparable to SPARTAN-II supersoldiers like Master Chief in that he can flip warthogs and run faster than even the fastest human. He is also able to pick up humans with one arm. He also has superior eyesight and smell.

Brief Bio: At some point between 2535 and 2552, Thel's exceptional leadership and combat prowess earned him the rank of the Fleet of Particular Justice's Supreme Commander. During his time as a Supreme Commander, Thel was responsible for over 1 billion human casualties, the loss of at least 7 human worlds, the destruction of over 123 human vessels during fleet action and the deaths of over 23,000 UNSC personnel.

Near the end of his time serving as Supreme Commander, he led the victorious Covenant forces at the Fall of Reach. As the battle ended, Thel ordered all ships within his command to follow the fleeing UNSC Pillar of Autumn. Following the Autumn's course led them to Installation 04. Commanding the Seeker of Truth, he had his ships begin evacuation of the ring upon the release of the Flood, but the parasite managed to capture a ship and infect a Minor Prophet, the Minister of Etiology. The sudden widespread evacuation led to confusion as ships became infested, and he was unable to prevent the destruction of the ring and was forced to abandon it. The abandonment saved his life, but also resulted in the capture of the newly arrived flagship, the Ascendant Justice, by John-117, and he was called before the High Council to answer for these failures.

The loss of the Forerunner relic that the Covenant held "holy" rendered the Council unmoved by his defense, and 'Vadamee was stripped of his rank, title, name, honor, and branded a heretic for his failure in safeguarding Hal TheMark of Shame was branded upon his chest in front of many of the Covenant, and he was sentenced to death. He was sentenced to "be hung by his entrails" and his corpse "paraded through the city" as an example to others.The Prophet of Objection went so far as to say "it was heresy."

Upon being brought to the Prophet Hierarchs of Truth and Mercy, they intervened and offered to commute the sentence if he would become the new Arbiter. Understanding that becoming the Arbiter of the Covenant amounted to an indirect death sentence, but also seeking an opportunity to redeem his name to retain honor for his continuing bloodline, the Sangheili accepted the offer.

The rest of Thel's long-ass backstory can be found here.

Shortly after the events of Halo 3, Thel found himself in a new place he had no memory of coming to.

Equipment:

  • Type-51 Carbine: A reliable recoil-operated and charger-fed, semi-automatic weapon that fires 8mm caseless radioactive projectiles. The weapon's cylindrical magazine holds eighteen rounds, and also provides indication of number of rounds left in the magazine, using a holographic display.Good for mid to long ranges.
  • Type-1 Energy Weapon/Sword: A melee weapon used exclusively by the Sangheili. The Type-1 Energy Weapon/Sword consists of a curved hilt, housing an energy storage module and a device for projecting the plasma which forms the blade. The actual blade is composed of two partially ionized 'blades' of free moving electron based gas held in a blade-like form by two small magnetic-field generators built into the handle of the weapon. This forms and contains the oval shaped, ionized blades for which the weapon is recognised.
  • Type-1 Antipersonnel grenade: A spherical explosive composed of an unknown material and contains a small plasma generator. When primed, the Type-1 Plasma grenade starts venting its coolant ensuring that the grenade does not stick to the individual who primed it. When thrown, the gaseous plasma begins to ionize to a degree such that if it comes into contact with a vehicle or individual, the plasma will start to burn into the surface and adhere to it, the venting coolant will cause the small plasma generator inside to destabilize and will in turn cause the grenade to detonate.
  • Arbiter Armour: Thel wears his Arbiter armour, which is a fully functional, if outdated, combat suit. It is silver-bronze with ornate markings. It includes a heads-up display, energy shield system, and active camouflage.


Others: Voiced by Keith David.
"Yeah," Parker nodded. "I'm Parker." He introduced, taking the empty glass and placing it on the coffee table. "So, what were you doing wandering around outside in minus forty-four degrees?" He asked, standing up and unzipping his jacket before taking it off, revealing his plain red hoodie which he also unzipped, showing a white tee shirt with the logo of the Damascus Robotics Research Corporation, the company which he worked for as a technician. He repaired broken machinery and fixed technical issues. Working there had offered him a fairly modest salary of fifty thousand credits a year. More than enough to pay his bills.

"I don't mean to be rude, but what are you wearing?" He asked, gesturing to Silvia's choice of wear as he sat down. It looked like clothing someone would wear during the summer or something. "Why aren't you wearing... you know, something for the cold?"
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