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1 mo ago
Current u cant tell from my bio or this post but i am in fact very literate yes indeed i am
6 likes
8 mos ago
yo i just noticed people can read my statuses whoa that's trippy
2 likes
8 mos ago
if you wanan pm me do it cuz i'm bored most of the time and chatting is fun
8 mos ago
what would happen if Astolfo was actually a woman though like isn't it weird how they happily genderswap King Arthur and then make Astolfo almost a genderswap
8 mos ago
now it's set up and people can know the things to pm me about when they stalk me, hell yeah

Bio

hi i'm kuro
i like fate, the soulsborne series and being general weeb trash
i also like elsword and if you know what that is are you real
uhhh..
what am i doing

i moved here cuz i got dragged here by a friend
advanced literate i swear and promise
if you like any of the things i like pm me cuz we can rant at each other over mutual likes

Astolfo best'girl' 2017

Most Recent Posts

ya boi Kuro is back from no internet purgatory and boi have i done a big mcpost
i keep forgetting not everyone is in the Discord so i'd like to apologise for this late ooc post
yeah

wassup yo

'Illusion'


Illusion gave Monica a stern look, almost offended.
Definitely offended.
She reached up and placed her hands over her heart, sighing dramatically.
"Please, dear, I am much cleaner when I eat people. I'm no low ranked Demon, I've simply come to offer you a way out. Now you can come with me or you can get eaten alive when time is resumed."
With a faintly amused smile, Illusion crawled up onto the seat and sat herself inches away from Monica, staring directly into her eyes.
"I live in a nice place in Rome, not a castle, but full of protection against the very thing you're running from. Take my hand, little Monica Dansbury, or you'll lose both of yours to the thing that's seconds away from ripping the plane open and eating everyone inside."
Illusion didn't mean to scare the poor girl too much, of course, but it was just natural for her to be a little.. intimidating.
She wiggled her nose a little, sensing Monica's power kicking in but not exactly being affected by it in any measure. Monica was weak, and Illusion was someone far beyond anything she could become for a thousand or so years.
Besides, when one has mastered Mental Magick as she has, something like this is almost unnoticeable to you.

"However, you'll be going alone. As a member of the most lovely named Warriors of the Divine Light, a rogue Demon like this must be.. put down." Her smile dropped as she finished her sentence, danger flashing in her eyes as she slid away from Monica and offered her hand.
"I am a busy woman, Monica Dansbury, and I can't always be here to protect you. Please, come with me. I mean you no harm."

@Mistiel




Jonathan Black


"I'm glad your work is going better than mine.
At least there's no possibility of being exploded into 100000000000000 pieces.

Please don't hog the console again thanks.
"

The poor doggo on the slide needed some hugs. Jojo wanted to provide them but couldn't so he spent a little while cuddling with Iggy instead.

Dawn had arrived home around the time she always had, and Jojo had spent the next few hours playing the same game he always played- Bright Hearts: Prepare to Love Edition. He gave her the usual 'Welcome home!' he always did, and returned to trying to actually finish the game this time instead of, well, repeatedly dying like usual.
He was partial to all of the games in the Bright Hearts series. The spin off, Loveborne, was his particular favourite among them.
If he really had to choose, that is. Bright Hearts II: Scholar of the First Kiss wasn't half bad either, the DLC was fun. Very Old Angry Dragon was a bit of a pain, though. The DLC of Bright Hearts III was pretty good.
He'd rant about the series for hours to anyone who asked.
Dawn had asked, once, and he was sure she'd regretted it. Poor girl probably had an earache afterwards.

Jojo had spent the rest of his day gaming though. His day was free, thank the Lord above, and that was a rare blessing for him.
Luckily a certain someone didn't hog his games.

And so it was that, after finally relinquishing the controller to the woman, Jojo had decided to go to the nearby McDonald's to grab dinner. He briefly mentioned it to Dawn but she was so immersed in the newest FPS she'd snagged that she didn't respond.
Meanie.

The air was a little chilly as Jojo marched down the street. The light nearest their apartment block was busted and had been for about a week now. It was weird that nobody had come to fix it, but whatever. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he reached a road, looked both ways, and jogged across quickly before settling back into a brisk walk.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he was being watched.

Laughing to himself softly, he kept up his walk until he was where he wanted to be; good old McDolan's.
Gotta avoid copyright, after all.

He stepped inside, finding it awfully empty despite it not being particularly late at night where he was. He sidled up to the counter with a small smirk on his face.
The cashier, looking rather blankly at him, took his order and within a little while he was pushing out of the door. A girl was making her way down the road rather quickly, catching his sight, and he stepped aside to hold the door open for her as she slid into the McDolan's past him.

She was taller than him, with blonde hair that was tied in a ponytail but still reached her lower back. Her eyes, a lovely golden hue he figured were a pair of contacts, caught his for a moment and she frowned before giving him a warm smile.
"My apologies. Please have a nice night, sir."

"You too."
Jojo watched as she slipped past him and into the restaurant, the person behind the counter perking up at her appearance. Jojo blinked and moved through the doorway, letting the door shut behind him as he made his way back home with bag of food in hand.
A chicken burger and a Half Half Pounder.
Dawn would be happy for the food, but mad that he'd been sneaky about it. He had to pay her back sometime, though, otherwise he'd feel bad constantly. With an oddly renewed vigour he practically powerwalked his way back to the apartment, humming a familiar song to himself as he did.

His mother used to hum the song to him whenever he was scared.

He found himself pausing in his tracks, staring up at the sky above him at the stars he could barely see.
He'd never admit it, but he did miss her.
Well.. if..

He was snapped out of his thoughts as something loud crashed nearby and he jumped out of his skin.
Nothing was there.
Letting out a tense sigh and then a not-so-tense chuckle, Jojo went on his way.

And that's how Jojo found himself staring at a rather cute girl staring angrily at the door to their apartment.
She hadn't noticed him yet, he didn't think, so he watched for a little bit as she pulled out her phone and dialled a number.
"Can you come pick me up or something? Yeah, yeah, I got locked out of my apartment again. Darren said he'd let me in but he probably fell asleep. I'm so mad, I've been standing here for, like, fifteen minutes."

Well, Jojo was pretty sure she wasn't putting on a show just for him considering she hadn't even noticed him yet. Her back was turned now and he smiled to himself ever so slightly.
He cleared his throat and the girl jumped in place, reaching up to put a hand over her heart and give him a look.
"I, um, couldn't help but notice you were, uh, a bit stuck." He fished into his pocket and pulled out his own card with a grin. "I can let you in if you'd like?"

The girl's features relaxed and she smiled, nodding to him.
"No, nevermind, I'm gonna go. A person that lives here's letting me in. Have a good night, sis."
She waited a moment and pulled her phone away from her ear, tapping it quickly and stuffing it in her pocket.
"Sorry to be such a bother."
"No, no, it's fine! I know how you feel. My housemate ignores the doorbell sometimes because she's too wrapped up in her games. I'm, uh, not much better sometimes, though." He flashed her a grin and stepped inside, swiping the card and hearing the soft affirmative beep of the door unlocking. Pulling it open, he stepped aside for the second time in the last half hour to let a cute girl through a door.
Was there a convention on or something?

The girl gave him a smile and a nod, her emerald eyes sparkling in the light of the entryway. Her skin was slightly tanned and her eyes were quite pretty. Her blonde hair fell to her shoulders and across her right eye a little.
Definitely a cutie.

She moved past him into the building and he followed behind her, making sure the door was locked as he did. She'd already made her way over to the elevator and pressed it, waving him over just in time for the doors to open and for the duo to step inside. Jojo reached over and pressed the button for his floor.
"Hey, that's convenient. We're on the same floor."
"Really? Nice."
She was standing quite close to him and she gave him a small smile.
"Thanks for letting me in."
"Oh, it's no problem, don't worry. Like I said, I know how you feel, hahah."
The elevator doors opened and he extended his hand for her to go first, which she did with a smile and a quick bow, before he followed just in time. They walked down the hallway together in companionable silence before Jojo stopped just outside his door.
"Well, this is me. Hopefully you have a better night after this, miss."
A faint blush spread across her cheeks as she looked down the hallway and chuckled softly.
"Actually, um, could I stay with you for a little bit? I just live next door but my brother Darren works the night shift so he'll wake up in a few hours. I'm so, so sorry to bother you but I, um.. I kinda need to use the bathroom."

"Oh, sure thing!" Jojo nodded and unlocked the apartment door, pushing it open and stepping inside.
"Dawn, I'm home!"

No response.
He blinked, confused, and stepped inside the apartment. The girl followed him quietly, looking around the place.
"Nice place."
"Thank you." Jojo replied, moving through the house and checking. Dawn wouldn't have been asleep by now, would she?
No, she would've text him and let him know to be quiet when he got home.

He dropped the McDolan's bag down on the couch and looked around for a bit before pointing down the girl to the bathroom.
"Sorry, bathroom's just down there."
The girl hurried down the hallway and vanished almost immediately.

Jojo was alone.
Jojo was concerned.

He pulled out his phone and wrote out a message with a worried haste he hadn't felt since..
...

"Dawn pls
Did you go out or something?
I got you maccas you dork
just let me know you haven't been kidnapped
"

Send.

Jojo spent the next couple of minutes striding around the room, chewing on his definitely non-brand name burger. Dawn didn't text back.
No, she was fine, Jojo, come on. You shouldn't be letting it get to you, she can take care of herself.

Noise outside caught Jojo's attention as he heard a pair of voices coming down the hallway.
The neighbours.
Well, since the girl was in the toilet currently, he thought he should let the guys next door know that their sister had arrived, whichever one of them was her brother. Making his way over to the door he paused as he went for the handle.

Wasn't Darren supposed to be working the night shift? He could've lied to his sister, but..
He gripped the doorknob and pulled it open, looking outside and catching the two just before they went inside.
"Hey, yo, dudes, do either of you have a sister you're expecting?"
Both of them paused and shook their heads.
"Nah dude, sorry. But yo, did you happen to let your girlfriend in earlier?"
Jojo paused.
"Girlfriend?"
One of the guys laughed. "Yeah, cute chick with super green eyes?"
".. I don't have a girlfriend."
"Ah, bummer, maybe you should though. She seemed pretty intent on getting inside your house and maybe your pants." the other joked.
"Neither of you are named Darren, are you?"

At that moment Jojo realised that they probably noticed something was wrong.
Just like he did. The expression on his face probably tipped them off.
"Should I, like, call the police?" one of them whispered. Jojo nodded silently.
"Fuck dude, you let her in?" the second guy whispered as the first pulled out his phone.
"She said she was your sister..!" Jojo retorted, frankly starting to freak out.

"I'll go stall her, you guys go hide alright? If she tries to get in, say no, obviously."
The two men closed their door almost as soon as he finished his sentence.

Well, fuck, this was bad.
Dawn not being here was a good thing after all.
Jojo took a deep breath and stepped back into his apartment, swallowing thickly as he called out and took a few steps inside, leaving the door open behind him just in case.
"Uh, miss?"

No response.
He realised he hadn't even heard the toilet flush.

The hair on the back of his neck pricked up as he moved through the house, pulling out his phone and texting Dawn once again.

"dont come home
danger
might die
ily fam but u better eat the maccas i swear
"

Send. Again.

Jojo jammed his phone in his pocket and, taking a deep breath, moved through the apartment. He checked the kitchen first, making sure no knives were taken- none were- and grabbing one for himself just in case.
After that he tiptoed his way to the bathroom, pausing for a moment before knocking on the door loudly.

"Ah, miss, are you okay in there?"
No response.
"... Miss?"

He slowly pushed the door open, knife in front of him.
The bathroom was empty.
Jojo paused, feeling a cold wave of terror flood through him. He turned around, moving out of the bathroom and back into the apartment when-

She was standing in front of the apartment door, licking her fingers almost idly before she caught sight of him. There wasn't much of it, but Jojo could see blood speckled on her chin and the shirt she wore. Her fingers, he immediately noticed after, were coated in the stuff where she hadn't licked it.
"The window. I just climbed into theirs and had a quick snack. I didn't want the police coming, you know."

Jojo took a step back, swallowing thickly.
"A.. snack? What?"
"Uuuuh.. I ate them? They're food? Like what you have in that bag?"
"They're.. people! Like you! How did you eat them?!"
"People like me? Oh, honey, please."

She let out a low, mocking chuckle as she swept her hair out of her face.
Jojo let out a shocked curse as he stepped back, lowering his knife slowly as two-four-six more eyes opened around the first two.
Eight eyes.
She gave him a wife grin, happily baring all of her needle-like teeth. She blinked, her eyelids closing in sideways before her two main eyes straight up fell out of her sockets and onto the floor, rolling around like eyeball ping-pong balls as she closed her eyes again and, suddenly, two completely different eyes stared back at him. The whites were pitch black and her pupils were a rusty crimson red as they focused in on him. She licked her lips, smiling once more and letting Jojo see her fangs once again.

Her body shook violently and she doubled over, gripping herself as the back of her shirt exploded violently, four furry segmented legs reaching out. Three of them reached down to touch the floor but one reached up to touch the roof, they were so long, like the legs of a huntsman spider.

A huntsman spider.

A spider.

"Oh FUCK me."
She slowly stood back up and Jojo dropped his knife, stepping back and biting his lip fearfully. Her felt himself starting to choke on his fear as he backed up, tearing up a little as his terror slowly, slowly, took over his mind.
"You're a spider."
"Yes, I am."
"Why?"
"What?"
"What the fuck?"
"Are you done?"
"Kinda."
He turned on his heel and bolted through the apartment to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him, hurriedly locking it and clambering over to the window she climbed out of earlier. He was halfway out of it before he heard the door behind him slam loudly, shaking on its hinges as she beat on it with.. whatever she was beating on it with.
The thought of those hairy legs made Jojo quiver as he reached out, grabbing a pipe that ran down the side of the building before hearing the door behind him outright explode. Something gripped his ankle and yanked him back inside, tossing him across the bathroom and into the wall nearby. The tiles cracked as he hit them hard and almost fell over, but a clawed hand reached out and grabbed him by the throat, lifting him off of the ground and choking him.

His knife fell to the floor, just out of reach.

"Nothing personal, kid, but you need to die. You're going to end the world just by existing. Now, I know, it's not fair because you don't even know, but.. I have family. I have friends. I have people I love that will die if you keep breathing.
Plus.. killing you nets me one hell of a paycheck."
She leaned in, opening her mouth wide as Jojo saw a pair of fangs push past her needle teeth, fangs exactly like those of a spider. He shuddered in her grip, reaching up to grab her face and try to push her away, but she was far too strong. Her strength was just as inhuman as she was, and one of her legs jammed itself into his shoulder painfully like a spiny spear, dislocating it and piercing through it as he screamed in pain. She twisted it, making him flail and writhe in her grip as she got closer and closer and-

Jojo let out a choked shriek as her human hand slid over his mouth, her fangs sinking deep into his neck. He could feel the venom flowing into his veins as he struggled and fought back, tears welling up in his eyes as she slowly began to suck the life out of him.
His right arm dangled uselessly at his side as he tried to fight back again her but failed.

"You can do this, son, I believe in you."
An unfamiliar voice echoed in his mind as his thoughts turned to the guys in the other apartment.
They were killed and for why? Because this thing wanted him dead? They had lives, jobs, futures! They had no right to be killed by this, by this monster!
And what about Dawn?!
A thrill of heat shot through Jojo's body as his unfocused eyes focused again, burning with rage and determination.
If Dawn came back and this thing was still here..
She'd died.

Hell.
Fucking.
No.

Jojo lashed out with his right arm and smacked the sink, reaching up to the mirror cabinet and yanking it open. He reached inside and rummaged around for a moment before he was suddenly yanked away and slammed into the ground, the spider girl pulling her fangs away and glaring at him murderously.
"Stop struggling or I'll make it as painful as possible."
"Good luck."
"Wh-"

Jojo, his left arm clutching the razor he used to shave, swung across her vulnerable face with the makeshift weapon.
She immediately shot back, yanking herself away from him with a loud, agonised screech as she reached up and clawed at her face. Jojo threw himself across the room, dropping the razor and grabbing his dropped knife before darting past the girl, who started flailing wildly with her legs. One of the smacked against his side with enough force to toss him into the opposite wall of the hallway, but he forced himself to recover and sprinted out of his apartment as fast as he could, yanking the door shut behind him as the screaming stopped. He dashed to the elevator, hammering the button in a panic.
"You CUT OUT MY EYE, YOU FUCKING PRICK!"
Jojo would've loved to toss a witty reply her way, but he was far too busy on the edge of a panic attack to do much more than almost break the elevator button. A spider! Why was she a spider?! What the fuck was even happening anymore?!
He heard her shout out his name and he pressed himself against the elevator doors, praying to any God that would listen to please, PLEASE, open the elevator RIGHT NOW.

The elevator doors opened.
Jojo practically threw himself inside as, with a roar from his attacker, he heard the front door of his apartment explode as she ripped through it. He practically punched the Shut Door button and the doors closed just in time as one of her spider legs jammed through it, followed by one of her arms. She reached around, grabbing at him and eventually grabbing the collar of his shirt.
Jojo sliced her inner forearm with the knife, making her scream another curse and retreat, yanking both of her limbs from the elevator doors.

They slammed shut and Jojo pressed the ground floor button, breathing a sigh of relief to himself as he pulled out his phone and tried Dawn's number.
Voicemail.

Good enough.

"Dawn, Dawn, don't come home. Please, for the sake of FUCKING GOD, do NOT come home. There's a- a fucking- some bitch just turned into a FUCKING spider and- I- just stay away, go somewhere else, please don't- don't come home, love you, bye, tell Iggy I'm sorry, please!"
It was only at this moment, speaking Iggy's name, that Jojo realised he hadn't seen the doggo since he got home.
Internally, Jojo cursed, but there was nothing he could do now. The only thing he could do is hope she didn't murder their dog and lead her far, far away until the cops came.
If they came.
"Call the police as soon as you get this, the neighbours got like, fucking, eaten or something, I don't know, I gotta-"
The elevator rocked violently and Jojo realised, with sheer dread filling his body, that she hadn't decided to chase him down the stairs.
"She cut the fucking-"

The elevator was in freefall before he even finished his sentence, Jojo screaming as he grabbed the metal railing on the side of the elevator as tightly as he could, dropping his phone in the process. The elevator flew through the empty shaft and Jojo closed his eyes.
This is it. I'm done. It's over.

But the voicemail hadn't sent.
If Dawn didn't get it..
Swearing loudly, Jojo leaped over and grabbed the phone, the screeching of metal on metal as the elevator fell making it impossible to say anything else.
Which really was the worst.

He ended the voicemail as he always did and hoped to the same God that helped him before that it went through.
He would've checked if, a few moments into the thought, the elevator hadn't slammed into the basement floor with enough force to completely wind him and leave him laying there, groaning in agony, with several shattered ribs. There was no dust in the elevator, which made sense considering this wasn't a movie.
Maybe.
He coughed hard, wincing harder as his chest exploded with pain. Slowly, he dragged himself forward and grabbed his phone, stuffing it into his pocket and staggering to his feet. His entire body ached worse than he'd ever felt, but somehow he was able to keep moving. He reached over and pressed the Door Open button on the elevator and it did.
Kinda.
It only opened halfway, but that was enough for the exhausted, bruised and broken man to force himself through the gap and stagger, almost unconscious, out into the garage below the apartment. He clutched his numb right arm in his hand and kneeled down, taking a deep breath before reaching up and jamming his dislocated shoulder back into place. Yet another scream ripped itself from the poor man's throat and he doubled over, tears welling up in his eyes from the pain. He sniffled hard, getting to his feet and hurriedly wiping his eyes clear of the stuff. He blinked a few times, taking a deep few breaths before slowly making his way through the garage. It'd be locked at this time of night, but Jojo had a buzzer to open it.
He also had his car keys still in his pocket.

Staggering over to his car as fast as he possibly could, Jojo unlocked it and slid inside, keying the engine and starting it up. Luckily for him, there was no trouble like in the movies. He backed out of his park and stopped in time to hear loud banging noises from the elevator shaft. He pressed the button to open the garage door and looked over just in time to watch the spider woman, barely visible, drop down into the elevator. Her eye locked on him, filled with rage and hunger, as she gripped the elevator doors with both hands and began to push them open.
They started to move far too easily.

Jojo floored the accelerator and his car shot forward, the garage door opening just in time to let him zoom out onto the street. He spent a lot of time driving, so if there was one thing he was good at..
He shot down the street, making sure to avoid going over the speed limit. He wasn't scared of a ticket, but he was sure as hell terrified of getting pulled over and having the spider bitch catch up to him. He swallowed hard, looking in his rear view mirror just in time to see her explode onto the road, using her four spider legs to chase after him like she was the villain in the second movie of an appropriately titled superhero movie series.
She couldn't catch him, however, and they both knew it. Jojo's car was fast even if he was following the law, and she couldn't risk being seen by anyone else, he figured. If that was allowed then she would've killed him in the street.
She was an assassin, and assassins attacked from the shadows.
Although.. she wasn't very good at her job, which made him wonder if she really was an assassin.

Jojo's mind was on something else, though.
Where the hell does one go when being hunted by a spider person out for blood? The police would think he's crazy and she'd wait until he was alone. He couldn't go anywhere he knew or he'd put people in danger.
More people, his mind reminded him.
He grit his teeth and pulled onto a main road. As he did so he became aware that the spider girl was no longer following him on the road.
He wasn't stupid enough to think she gave up, though, that's something that'd get him killed for sure.

Well.. time for a roadtrip, it seemed.




Jojo sat at the wheel of his car, staring out in front of him blankly.

Traffic was horrible.
He'd been driving for.. hours. Far too long. His phone had gone flat as well.
He was completely alone and completely exhausted. The venom was kicking in and he started to wonder exactly what it was that he'd been injected with in the first place.

Either way, it was slowly killing him. He realised he took the wrong route a bit too late. The only real way to go now was out to Long Island.
He preferred it, though. He'd rather drive around Long Island until he ran out of fuel instead of driving into the middle of nowhere on the mainland and dying somewhere in the desert or whatever.
Besides, there was an airport.
He could hide there until a plane was due to depart and sneak on board.
He was gonna have to do that back in London in any case, and if he got arrested, well, good. He'd be safe.
The drive was a thinking trip for him though, really.
Who was the person hunting him, even? Why? What did she mean when she said him breathing would kill the people she loved?
Was she being forced to do this? Was someone..
No, she mentioned a paycheck.
She was choosing to do this, then, but still believed his existence was going to destroy her life?
With a frustrated groan Jojo slammed his head into his steering wheel but immediately jumped when his car horn went off. He gave himself a wry smile and reached up, running a hand through his hair and closing his eyes.

He couldn't keep running, though. The spider girl might just go back to his apartment and wait.
Then Dawn would show up.
And she'd die.
And Iggy would die.
And everyone else there would die.
The police would die.
And when Jojo finally went home, hoping everything was over, he would also die.

He really only had one option. There was a construction site not too far from where he was. He'd seen the telltale signs and seen the cranes from afar. They weren't working at the moment as far as he knew.
As far as he hoped. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of water he always kept in his car, taking a long, heavy swig from it and driving as soon as he could.

He had to stop this.

He pulled up across from the construction site and got out of his car, locking it behind him and looking around. It was quiet, the lights were all off, and Jojo mentally prepared itself. He could still feel himself being watched and he turned just in time to see a figure leap from the top of a building across the street and into the building being constructed. He licked his lips nervously, his heart beating harder and faster as he thought of her slowly stealthing through the structure and grabbing him from behind-
He took a deep, relaxing breath and headed into the structure as well.
There was only one option, he had to stop this.

He took a few steps into the structure and pressed himself against one of the support beams, looking around in the dark to see if there was anything at all he could use to his advantage.
A few blocks of wood, a couple of hammers, nothing much. His knife was still in his left hand but he'd much rather use something with a little bit more distance.

Something more like a sword.
He always attended kendo practice, after all, like some sort of sword worshipping nutcase. It kept him fit, it kept him focused. It was fun, too.
Apparently it was also a lifesaver. He was by no means the best, but he could duel someone fine.
Except he'd never duelled a spider woman who could outrange him and also probably stab him to death without him even noticing. He moved as quietly as he could over to the pile of stuff, placing the knife down quietly and grabbing the pipe he noticed before.
A web shot out and hit the knife, keeping it stuck to the pile of wooden planks. Jojo shot backwards and raised the pipe, breathing hard.
The little light the nearby street afforded him let him see the girl, legs extended, moving towards him. She grinned and, for a moment in the light, he saw her teeth once more.
"Unlucky. My body's impossible to injure with blunt objects, especially by a human. My legs are all armour plated, you dumbass, so you should've kept your shitty little kitchen utensil!"

Well, shit.
"Well, shit."

Jojo gripped his pipe tighter, though. If her legs were armoured then he'd just have to smack her non-spider parts.
Which wouldn't be hard as long as she didn't block him.
With a smug smirk she lashed out, slamming her leg into the pipe as he barely blocked with it. The girl seemed more than a little surprised as she yanked her leg back, sizing him up.
"Ah.. you're gonna fight? Thought you were just gonna keep running until you dropped dead, honestly. Nothing you can do, though, you're not strong enough to kill me yet, haha, sucks to be you!"

Jojo cursed under his breath, his vision swimming as he almost, almost, stumbled forward. He caught himself however, gripping the pipe in both hands and licking his lips. He watched her move towards him before she suddenly struck again, aiming for his left leg. He, once again, blocked it with the loud sound of armour hitting metal. She went with another leg, aiming for his injured shoulder. He blocked it and stepped forward, taking ground against her. With confusion in her eyes she stepped back, keeping distance.

He had to get in close.
They both knew that.
She had to keep him at range as much as possible and Jojo had to remove the range.
It was a fatal game of tug of war that they had to play.

Jojo, however, had questions.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why are you doing this?"
The spider girl raised an eyebrow incredulously. "You're asking the person about to murder you why they're doing this?"
"You said that me breathing would kill the people you loved. What does that even mean?"
She paused, giving him a concerned look that took him completely off guard.
"You don't know?"
"Don't know what?"
"You're a Child of the Devil."
"What? No I'm not. I don't even know my dad!"
"Yes you are! I'm not falling for your tricks, you bastard, I know what you Demons are like!"
She whipped forward with two legs, one smacking hard into the pole Jojo was using and the other hammering into the side of his lower leg, knocking him off balance and shattering the bone. Jojo swore and dropped to one knee as the leg swung again and slammed into his side, bruising his organs and knocking him across the building. He skidded to a stop on the dirty floor, groaning to himself and pulling himself up.

Demons?
Child of the Devil?
...
Jojo finally understood. He finally got it.

This was an anime.
This was 100% an anime.
It had to be.
Which meant that, as the protagonist, he couldn't die.
Unless he wasn't the protagonist.
In which case he was definitely screwed.

Getting back to his feet he barely managed to lift his pipe in time to block another smack from her legs. The things were easily double his size, so her reach on his was immense. He turned to her, tired and broken, and coughed a little.
It stung like a bitch.
She reached her maximum range and stopped, legs at the ready. Jojo himself stood ready to defend, narrowing his eyes at the woman. She narrowed her eyes in return before pausing as if she heard something in the distance.
Jojo raised his eyebrows.

A momentary lapse in concentration.
The smallest of distractions.
Her leg shot out and hammered him across the face just before he blocked it, whipping his head around and sending him flying across the building and into one of the support pillars. Jojo barely pulled himself off of it before she swung again and he ducked just in time for her leg to smash through the column and miss him by an inch. He sprinted forward and jumped instinctively, her other leg lashing out to trip him but missing. He spun as he landed, smacking another of her legs away as she struck again. He blocked again and again, narrowly managing to avoid being savaged by the things as they came at him, trying to impale and smack him again and again and again. Duck, dodge, block, duck, dodge, block. From above him, from his lower right, from right in front of him. The onslaught was unstoppable, Jojo barely able to keep up with what eventually seemed like a whirlwind of jabs and smacks and whipping tendrils of spear-tipped spider legs. His body was working in overdrive to keep himself going, all of his weight on his right leg so his shattered left wouldn't make him fall over.
But he couldn't last for long.

"Just walk away, please, I promise I'm not gonna hurt anyone!"
"That's exactly what you would say, Demonspawn!"
"I'm not even a Demon!"
"Bullshit!"
Jojo reeled once more as she suddenly lunged at him, shooting across the building with speed he never thought imaginable. She slammed into him, covering her body with her legs and becoming some sort of spider cannonball that tossed him once again off of his feet. She shot after him, unwrapping her legs with blinding speed. They slammed into him, cracking even more ribs and the bones they hit, crushing him through one of the support pillars. He tumbled to the ground, coughing and grunting as he did, before coming to a stop and rolling to his feet. His balance was gone, his vision was swimming once more, and he hacked up blood all over the ground beneath him. His entire body ached, like it frankly should've, but a single thought came to him.

"Why am I still breathing?"
He shouldn't be alive. He should've died when she sank her fangs into his throat in the apartment. She was right about one thing, and he couldn't deny it; he wasn't a normal human by any means. Slowly staggering to his feet, Jojo turned just in time to feel the girl grab him by the throat once more and yank him off of his feet. She stared up at him, expressionless, and opened her mouth. Her fangs slid out again, dripping with venom and ready to finish what she started. There were no words exchanged between them.
Jojo realised she looked awfully tired.

But if this was an anime, Jojo, reckoned, he almost certainly had some sort of ability hidden away. If his body was suddenly changing, something had to have been kicking in.
If she said he was a Demon, said that he was a Child of literally Satan himself, then he sure as hell wasn't going to die here. He gripped his pipe tightly and lashed out, booting her in the stomach and making her recoil. As she did, he brought his pipe up and into her arm. Her bone shattered and she let go with a scream, pulling back.
He only had one second.

Something boiled inside of him, his body charging up with.. something.
His eyes flashed for a moment and time seemed to slow down around him, the spider girl slowly retreating while taking a wild shot with her leg. Jojo narrowed his eyes and pushed himself forward, gripping his makeshift sword in both hands and charging forward. The world around him seemed slow but he wasn't slow at all, easily evading her attack and watching her eyes grow wide. His grip on the pipe tightened and the metal cracked between his fingers as he shot forward and took aim.

Her legs were too slow, however, and Jojo smacked her chest with the bat. Her body curled around it as her mouth and eyes widened, a few tears flying past Jojo's head as her fangs began to recede into her mouth. He felt the pipe impact into her torso in the blue-tinged world he was in and, following through with his attack, he tossed her as hard and as far as he could.
The girl shot through the air slowly, eyes going unfocused as- suddenly- time went back to normal and she vanished, slapping through one, two, three support pillars before slamming hard into the ground and rolling almost to the other side of the building. Jojo looked down in amazement, jaw almost on the floor, before he shook his head and ran over to the crumpled woman. He needed to take advantage of the little time he had!
He skidded to a stop as he watched her on the floor, trying to pull herself up and failing until, slowly but surely, she managed to get to her feet. "D-Damnit.. This isn't the type of.. getting my insides messed up.. I'm a fa-" she choked in the middle of her sentence, throwing up blood all over the floor and stumbling backwards. She gripped her stomach, hissing and panting and choking as Jojo approached. She looked up at him with a wide grin, tears pouring down her face, and she opened her arms wide.
"Well, come on then, satankid, fuck me up like your daddy would want. Go on and destroy our planet, I won't care if I'm dead."
Jojo paused, watching her for the longest time.
She was dead set on him being a monster.
"Come on! Fuck me up! Crush my skull with your little fuckin' murder stick! Spiders are meant to be exterminated, am I right?!"
She laughed at him, but Jojo wasn't worried anymore. Tears had soaked her face and messed up her makeup. Her right eye wasn't even opening anymore, clenched shut in pain. Her fangs were gone and her teeth were back to normal.
She just looked like an upset cosplayer, now.

"I'm so sorry."

Jojo dropped his pipe and walked away, even turning his back on the woman who stood there, dumbfounded, before shouting at him again. If she wanted to kill him, she could, but he had a hunch that his hit had done a bit more than just wind her.
"What? You're gonna leave and go ruin everyone's lives another day?! Kill me, you prick! Kill! Me!"
Jojo didn't respond.
For this entire time he'd thought of her as a monster trying to kill him, but the moment he'd scored that hit and seen her tears, he was dragged back to the first time they'd met.
When she was a person.
Behind the spider legs and the fangs and the creepy eyes, that spider girl was still a spider girl.
Besides, Jojo wasn't a Demon. He wasn't going to kill her, nor was he going to kill her or her family. He never intended on becoming a murderer and tonight was no different.

He kept walking and didn't stop until he left the building. Whatever he'd done to her had seriously fucked her up. Maybe all of her organs were where he hit? Maybe her human body was ultra sensitive? Who knows?
He turned around to look over his shoulder as she staggered against one of the remaining pillars of the structure and vomited up another stomach-full of blood before she shot out of the place, leaping away into the night like some sort of ninja with no sense of balance.

Jojo didn't make it back to his car. He dropped to his knees at the edge of the building and began to slowly fade into unconsciousness. He reached out and dug his nails into the dirt road, pulling himself forward with the little strength his body still had.
He swore he heard the sound of cars pulling it, of several people shouting orders, of his body being lifted up and draped over something they used to carry him.
He swore he saw blonde hair and crimson eyes peering down at him in worry.
He swore someone wished him a good sleep.

He was gone, far gone, in the land of dreams. His bruised and broken body was silently loaded into a truck and, as the team of cleanup experts began their grim task, the truck he was in gained one last passenger and suddenly it was gone.
Teleported across the world, in fact, to a little place called Rome.




???


Leviathan's phone would quite conveniently buzz if it wasn't on silent.
An unknown number.
"Hello there.
I hear you require a specific service.
I am here to offer assistance.
Severe trauma is the path to strength.
I can promise results.

If you confirm, I will provide further instructions.

Pleasure to do our future business.
- T.
"

That was all.
How convenient.

@VitoftheVoid
Something shifted. Some unknown force made everything, just for a quick moment, stutter before moving on normally.
Two pink eyes opened and glanced up at the sky as reality staggered for the briefest of moments.
Asmodeus made a face as the birds flying above her paused in place, reversed, and then restarted to continue on their proper way.

For the briefest of moments she swore that, perching on the edge of the roof of the building across from her, was a figure with six massive wings that stretched out across the sky and blocked the setting sun's rays.
Then everything was moving again and the figure was there as if they'd never even existed.
They hadn't.

Reaching out with her hands, Asmodeus watched the single feather fall through the air and land squarely in the palms of her hands. She looked down at it for a moment before it glitched out like some sort of graphical issue and disappeared in her grip. She closed her hands, narrowing her brows and looking up once more at the sky above, grand and open and free.

Perhaps..

She cut off that train of thought and began the short walk back to her shop, humming softly to herself the entire time.
If that was to happen, then there was no point worrying too much.




Elsewhere, Illusion hummed to herself softly as she stared out the window. The brief stutter in Reality had caught her by surprise, but in a world where there was an entire organisation devoted to covering up portions of history itself in one large fabrication there wasn't too much to be surprised by. Instead of worrying about it, the vampire turned on her heels and opened a small hole in the air before her.
Into a rather quaint airplane. With a cough she stepped through it and Reality shifted once more.
She couldn't have her target running away now, and her own personal Boundary was the most efficient way to make that certain.

The engines stopped, the people around her stopped, except for one.
A girl sitting on a plane with no ticket. How naughty.
Illusion, closing the portal behind her, crept through the middle of the plane with a silent grace that not many beings could match. It wasn't at all long until the girl had arrived at the row in which one Monica Dansbury had seated herself. She licked her lips, cleared her throat, and gave the girl the warmest, kindest smile she could manage.
Which, despite the fangs, was very warm and kind.

"I mean you no harm, Monica Dansbury. I'm here to take you somewhere safe. You can choose the easy way, or you can struggle and choose the still easy but much more bothersome way."
Illusion, quite aware of the frank absurdity of the situation, offered her hand to the girl with a small smile.
"And yes, before you ask, I am indeed a vampire.




Jojo was tired.
All day he'd been working in the cafe and all day the customers had been more and more 'UGHHHHHHHHHHH'.
Seriously, he wasn't even kidding. One guy had asked for his latte remade twice, a woman and her family had claimed the chicken parmigiana wasn't 'parmigiana-y enough' and a kid had decided the best place to spit on his kid brother was in the middle of the lobby.
And the kid brother then promptly threw up all over the floor and turned into a living car alarm that Jojo swore could almost shatter the glass in the cafe's windows if he really wanted to.

It didn't help the place was understaffed today and Jojo was currently carrying 500,000,000 orders to the tables like he was trying to do his best impersonation of the Flash except he was a waiter and not a superhero.
Except, unfortunately, it was understaffed.
It didn't help that the chef was currently coked out of his mind and making a bunch of really wacky orders that Jojo refused to serve out of terror of even touching them.
He cooked burnt eggs and called it 'Crispy Bacon and Eggs' for one and that was a no-no and probably a health hazard. He kept raving on about something called 'fond' but Jojo was frankly not very 'fond' of whatever 'fond' was.
He was also pretty sure it had nothing to do with burning eggs until they were like some sort of pitch black mutant cardboard.

Sliding a pair of plates onto a table and giving the couple as warm a smile as he could, Jojo practically skated his way back to the kitchen and looked up at the clock.
His shift was almost over and, damnit, he was glad.
He sincerely hoped that the chef wasn't going to explode anything in the kitchen.

He needed a better job with less health hazards.

As soon as twelve hit he was out. That's how he'd always done it- "Hey can I work here until twelve and then do uni stuff the rest of the day?"
"Sure thing, dude, just don't kill anyone."
"I.. I wasn't considering it, honestly. Kinda worried you mentioned it."
"No need to worry, friend, it's only happened twice."
"Oh."

Midday hit a little while after Jojo's little exposition flashback and he practically leaped out of the doors of his workplace and jammed his earphones in. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he swiped it unlocked and tapped a couple times before tapping rapidly a couple more times.

'Yo Dawn it's ya boi Jojo
I think my chef is gonna bomb himself tbh
How's work at an actual job going?
Help

JJ.
'

With a few more taps and a small smile Jojo strode down the street and messaged another one of his friends;

'Yo I'm free, we still good for Saturday night or not?
I'm keen to bring pizza if you guys want. Just text me your orders and I'll rock up with the food.

Dat Boi.
'

Shoving his phone into his pocket after putting on some appropriately weeby tunes, Jojo hummed along to the lyrics as he moved down the street. It wasn't surprising that he was so chipper this time of week- when he got home he'd have a brand new episode of-

Reality stuttered and Jojo paused in place, eyebrows immediately furrowing in concern as he reached up to rub his eyes and blink. by the time he was done the world was moving as per usual. Shrugging it off as tiredness, Jojo kept his pace down the street.
He couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, however. He couldn't see anyone that seemed too out of place, though, but he caught a flash of a cute girl with vibrant green eyes eyeing him up as he walked past her. Neither of them stopped but Jojo couldn't help but smile as he realised she was totally checking him out.
Nice.

Shame he didn't stop but by now she was probably lost in the crowd and, well, whoops.
All he'd have to do is catch the subway to the station closer to his house and he'd be fine. No creepy people could walk into his house and spy on him, could they?
No, they couldn't.
Besides, Jojo was well versed in anime fighting techniques and fung koo.
Just don't ask him to actually show them off.
Please.

Slide down the railing on the stairs that nobody seemed to actually use, buy a ticket, slide down an escalator, arrive on the platform, spend approximately five minutes awkwardly sandwiched between a really muscular dude wearing a wife-beater who hadn't worn deodorant in twenty years and was covered in sweat like he'd just exited a pool and refused to dry off and a much smaller girl who gave him a venomous look every time he even slightly bumped into her like he was a man with lizards for eyes and FINALLY JOJO WAS FREE AND WHOO BOY DID HE ENJOY IT.

He practically pirouetted out of the subway and into the fresh air- well, kinda fresh air- of the streets and began his trek to his lovely two-bedroom apartment shared with an equally lovely friend of his by the name of one Dawn Memoli.
Or, as Jojo liked to call her, Don Memeoli.

And soon enough ya boi Jonathan Black was at home, sliding his keycard across the front door and stepping inside to hear it slam behind him. Up to level 8, out the door, down the hall..

He paused, looking over at the door next to his. Those guys had been on vacation for a long time..
Ah well, maybe they'd decided to leave permanently. Surely there'd be another resident soon. He only knew those guys since they'd helped him move in- they were pretty cool dudes from what Jojo gathered of them.
Unlocking the door with the small key he always used, Jojo slid inside and immediately heard a certain little doggo scrambling along the floorboards towards him. Jojo pulled his earphones out and grinned as the one and only Iggy Iggerton skidded into view and over to him.

Needless to say, Jojo gave the good little doggo some ample pets before going on with his chores.
And by chores I mean 'play video games until Dawn reminds him to do actual work before deciding to hog his Gamestation 5 for the rest of the day'.

And so it was that Jojo spent the rest of his day until Dawn got home.
He still had that awful feeling of being watched, though..
@Dark Light Yep, yep, you're free to post whenever you want!
Figured I'd just toss in a reminder that the Discord link is in the 0th OOC post and Discord is free to join, plus it can also run in your browser unless they've removed that function since I used it in my browser last.

Wretch is right about the posts- you're free to do basically whatever as long as you don't rip the planet apart. c:

Yet.
~ The Day Before It Happened ~


Rome. (New York)
5:45 PM. (11:45 AM.)

The sun was setting above Rome as a short girl skipped down one of the streets of the WDL's Roman Academy's Commercial section. The entire thing was a neat triple pizza slice of sectors- the first was the very one she was waltzing down. Shops, restaurants, all the good stuff that the staff could need (and spend their cash on). Secondly was the residential district full to the brim with Exorcists and other WDL staff..

... and the occasional not so human beings.

The third section and by far the largest was the shared grounds between the WDL's Exorcist Academy and the actual military base nearby it. It took up roughly half of the WDL pizza and left a quarter to each of the other two sectors. Military sector, Commercial sector and Residential sector.
Of course, in a small circle of its own in the very middle of the compound was what Illusion called the 'important stuff place' where Arthur himself resided alongside the higher echelon of the WDL's members- the Exorcist High Council- and where a certain power plant was also positioned.
And, of course, everyone's favourite living power source was also there.

Passing by a certain inconspicuous but very conspicuous shop, Illusion glanced at the door and felt a sudden shift in the inside of the place. A small smile crept its way across her face as she slowed to a stop and watch as a taller blonde woman peered out of the doorway after opening it and flipped a sign on the door from 'Closed' to 'Open'.
The woman caught Illusion's gaze and the Principal gave her a polite nod which she returned after a pause.

Slipping back into the doorway and closing it, the Ex-Demon God Asmodeus had much work to do.

Resuming her merry travels down the street, Illusion hummed to herself loudly. People began to appear in the streets now freed from their nine to five jobs and were flocking to the sector to relax after a long, hard day of teaching, training.. Whatever it was that silly little humans got up to these days, really. It was a fun game that a lot of the staff had become accustomed to- well, bar the most devout murderous Zealots of the WDL- called 'Catch the Principal'.
Of course, nobody ever won since she could just phase right through them most of the time with her Magick. A hand reached out to grab her and it passed right through her chest and the body the hand was attached to let out a soft sigh.

"Miss Illusion, isn't it a bit one sided if you just make yourself intangible?"
Looking up as the man courteously removed his hand from her torso Illusion grinned happily, albeit just a little cheekily, and shook her head.
"Well, I suppose you're right, but then I'd have to actually work." Staring up into the man's face she realised that the person before her was none other than Mister Johnstone. With the corners of her lips twitching up ever so slightly she reached over and floated up to put a hand on his shoulder. Johnstone's eyebrow rose as Illusion cupped his cheeks in her hands, a wide, beaming smile lighting up her face.

"Congratulations on your child, Mister Johnstone. I hope she's as beautiful as your wonderful wife." Patting his cheeks before letting go Illusion dropped to the floor and gave him a quaint bow before walking away.

Johnstone, however, was flabbergasted. He stared after Illusion with his jaw more than a little dropped as he struggled to find words.
"M-Miss Illusion..?!"
The Principal turned on her heels and gave him a quizzical glance.
Johnstone stumbled over his words a little before giving her a small smile and a nod. "Thank you. Maybe you'd like to meet her one day..?"
Illusion paused for a long while, expression somewhere between shock and something else. A sly smirk slid across her face as she responded.
"You'd let a Demon near you baby daughter?"
Johnstone hesitated a little before giving her a nod.
Illusion's face lit up.
"I'd be honoured, Mister Johnstone. Tell your family I said hello, please?"
Johnstone nodded and Illusion turned away once more, humming to herself and skipping with a bit more of a spring to her step than she had before.

Johnstone rubbed his chin.
Nobody at the WDL had known about his newborn Angela.. He hadn't told a soul yet.
Turning back to look over his shoulder at Illusion his eyes widened ever so slightly as he saw her waving at him over her shoulder.. almost as if she'd known he was going to turn around.
Johnstone let out a nervous sigh and quickened his pace. He didn't mind her, she was a fine person and a great example of what a Demon could be.. but sometimes she frankly creeped him out.
She had that effect on people.




Arthur Evangelion sat on the edge of his bed and casually pushed the cup to his lips, swallowing the water inside it along with the tablets inside before clearing his throat once he was sure they were down and finishing the rest of the glass. Pushing himself off of his bed and placing the glass on the desk beside it he walked over and stepped into his bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror he noticed yet another grey hair had decided to spring up at his hairline. Grumbling to himself he reached up and adjusted the eyepatch on his face before stepping back and running his hands through his hair to slick it back.

It had been a long time. Being the Archknight, leader of the entirety of the WDL, had its stresses.
Those stresses were slowly growing. He peered out of his bathroom and out into his bedroom before quickly making his way out there.
A rather large crow perched on his windowsill, a rolled up letter clutched tightly in its beak. He made his way over to it and opened his palm, the bird carefully depositing the letter into his waiting hand before giving him a nod and taking off once more.
With a soft sigh, Arthur unrolled the parchment. It was tied with a red string with the familiar Sanzu leaf tied under it against the parchment. The man read the odd letter through, a small knot building in his stomach.

"We're always watching.
Hope you're doing well.
I'll be keeping an eye out.

Regards,
M.S. R."


Indeed, the stresses on the entire WDL had just grown by quite the large margin.
Arthur reached up to run a hand through his hair and groan again.
He was getting too old for this.




Elsewhere in the WDL's compound one Eine Minerva sat at her desk filling out the paperwork that had slowly been building up ever since a new recruit had decided to use Fire Magick on what he'd assumed was a stray cat but turned out to be a peaceful Nekomata that had rather quickly turned not quite so peaceful.

Sighing to herself with a tinge of more than a little annoyance in her voice, she placed her pen down as she finally finished the arduous task. Working over in Rome was much different from working over in her home in Germany. For one, nobody here actually spoke German aside from a few people.
Secondly, almost everyone spoke Italian which she was still learning.
Which meant people could talk trash behind Eine's back.. mostly.

Reaching up to scratch her face under her bandages, Eine reached over to grab a glass of water and took a quick sip before placing it down and sliding the report she'd been filling out to the side. She rather quickly stood up, tucked her chair in, and was about to leave her office when a nurse knocked on the door. With the slightest narrowing of her eyes Eine cleared her throat and bid the person to enter.

Her subordinate, Valencia Nightshade, stepped into the room with another pile of files clutched in her arms.
"I'm sorry, Doctor Minerva, but there was another fight today.."
Eine let out a long, annoyed sigh.
"Who?"
"All the information is in the document on top. We gave them the proper treatment and assigned them both detention and psychological evaluations but we still need your signature for it to be approved."
"The rest of those files?" Eine gestured for Valencia to come over and put them down on her desk as the Doctor pulled her chair back out and took her seat yet again. Valencia did as she was told, putting the file down on the desk and rubbing her arms.
"Just some files on some people of interest that the Archknight has asked you to look over. No more hard work, luckily." Valencia smiled down at the sitting woman who nodded quickly. "Luckily."
"Um, Doctor, could I perhaps take tomorrow night off?"
Eine looked up with a raised brow and Valencia withered a little, clasping her hands together and looking down.
"May I ask why?"
"I, ah, have a date.."
Doctor Minerva studied Valencia's face with a small smile before giving her a nod. "Enjoy your date, Valencia. I will take over your graveyard shift."
Valencia let out a short squeal and jumped in excitement before catching herself and clearing her throat awkwardly. Eine's smile widened ever so slightly.
"Thank you, Doctor Minerva. I'll see you tomorrow!"
"Have a good night, Val."
"You too, Doctor!"

The girl rushed from the room and slipped out the door and Eine heard another voice begin to speak. Val and the other person gossiped as they moved away down the halls and Eine shook her head.
"Ah, people are so funny these days." Looking down at the forms she had to sign, she quickly got those out of the way and slid them over to the side before staring down at the documents before her. All of them were folders, all of them were quite large. Flipping the one on top open she made a noise as she plucked a letter from the top and quickly skimmed through it.

"Doctor,

These files are quite important and as the Chief Medical Officer of our fine establishment I feel you should be apprised of the new developments and changes coming to our lovely little pocket of Eden.
Do not divulge the contents of these folders to a single soul or you're like to lose yours. I don't enjoy threatening you but the sheer importance of secrecy in regards to this event requires it.
You will be assigned to their care personally.
Be good.

- The Principal."


Doctor Minerva raised an eyebrow and took a quick glance over the first folder.
'Rick Brackwall'.
Then the second.
'Jonathan Black'.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth were all the same. People she'd never seen nor heard of and suddenly they were of grave importance. Scanning Rick's file more closely, however, revealed something that sent a shiver down her spine. She quickly scanned through the others and sat back in her chair, taking a deep breath.

"So this was what you meant, then, Devi LeRouge." Her voice returned to the language much more natural to her and she swallowed thickly. Nothing good could come of this.

In each and every folder under the 'Race' section was something Eine had hoped to never see.
"Child of the Devil.."




Reclining in the chair in the small closet that Asmodeus had converted into a special room in the back of her general store, she stared up at the ceiling before casting her gaze over to the box sitting beside her feet up on her desk. It'd been one hell of a trip (hah) getting up here in one piece and having that tiny vampire on her side meant Asmodeus was in a great position!
For one, what kind of Exorcist would pass out the good she was selling, right? On top of that, nobody hunting her sweet ass down would be able to actually get to her sweet ass or any other portion of her body as long as that barrier stood.
And the barrier would stand forever, apparently.

She was in a great starting position. Every single card was on the table and they were all in her favour. She had money, she had info, she had protection and even more importantly just nearby was..
Glancing at the door to her small room, she felt a grin break out on her face as she reached down and tenderly felt her stomach, wincing as she did so.
Everyone in Hell knew what was happening. Illusion hadn't personally been back to Hell in around twentyish years and thus things had changed around. A new Demon God was on the rise, more and more turf wars were breaking out, and Asmodeus had decided this was the time for her own return.

Shifting her gaze from the door and over to the wall beside it at the picture of a certain man with a massive dagger placed between his eyes Asmodeus made a face and slipped her boots off of the table to stand up. Devi LeRouge, the Devil and Satan himself, was going to pay. Everyone that had participated in the betrayal of the now dead Demon Gods was going to suffer.
Asmodeus' eyes narrowed as she walked over to the picture and gripped the hilt of the knife buried deep into the wall and Devi's face.

"I'll make sure you taste the irony of your own family stabbing you in the back just like my siblings did, brother."
And that's the main reason as to why Azzy was here in the first place.
She was here to help Devi's very own smol children rip his heart out and, from her sources, she knew precisely who to go for first. It's why she'd bothered shacking up in such an anti-demon place.
Well, aside from the massive, impenetrable barrier that protected her from whatever the hell it was that was so keen on taking more chomps out of her very being.

Leaning over and clicking her fingers, Asmodeus turned the radio on in her store and couldn't help but smile at her good fortunes. Booting the door to her smaller room open and skidding out into the actual store itself, she smacked the door shut with her rear and danced her way through the store, singing along as she did so.
I Will Survive was one of her personal favourites.

Dancing and taking stock at the same time was a nice little stress reliever for the girl, her pointy Demon ears would catch the rather loud noise of her store's front door opening- several bells and chimes were rigged to make rather beautiful music- if you can consider random noise to be music- whenever the door was actually opened. Not to mention the motion sensors that made a little device in her pocket vibrate whenever the door was opened. I mean, how else would she know if anyone tried to break in when she was in the back room having some private singing time?

Once again Asmodeus skidded to a stop and adjusted a small dagger on one of the shelves, turning on her heel to push a box of cereal back away from the edge of its own shelf. The worst thing in the world was getting Demonic cereal in your hair, trust her, she knew.
Humming to herself as she glanced around her store- a mishmash of different items from food to weapons to Mana potions stacked against the wall behind her counter, it was an inventory like something out of some sort of video game.
And if this was a video game then she sure as hell was the best merchant in it. Nodding to herself in satisfaction as the song faded out and one of the many songs from that fancy new musical about America's founding fathers came on, Asmodeus grinned.

"Well, I suppose it's about showtime, am I right ladies and gents?" she spoke to nobody, leaning against the counter of her shop and nodding in satisfaction.
The door to the place opened into a large room that extended to the person's right and was full of shelves with every type of thing they could imagine. Straight down a rather clear path from the door was Azzy's 'Special Services' room marked with a fun sign she'd made all by herself.
'No Knocks, No Service' was the slogan of the little room and, frankly, she was proud that not a single soul who hadn't had the common decency to knock was given service.

All the way at the right end of the shop was the counter behind which Asmodeus would spend most of her time.. if she didn't really prefer to be in the back room. Behind the counter at the opposite side of the gap she used to get back and forth from behind it was another door that lead to yet another small room that Azzy had converted into a tiny bedroom of sorts. It was a grand departure to what she was used to but hey, whatever works, right?

Asmodeus' shop was quite out of the way and that's how she'd gotten such a bargain on her little residence. Not many people came by this older, more decrepit portion of the good old Commercial district so Azzy had a great amount of freedom on her hands.
Which was great because she was a relatively notorious Demon God who needed to lay low.
Plus, if she really wanted a ton of clients, she'd put up a sign.
Which she did.
She also sent out flyers to several people including her main client (she hoped) by the name of Rick Brackwall.
She'd been loathe to give so much information freely but Illusion had pulled the 'you owe me' card and Asmodeus had obliged.
Thus the files had been collected, collated and taken to some nurse for some reason. Asmodeus kept duplicated, obviously, what good information broken wouldn't? However, it still made her uncomfortable.

She didn't even get any souls out of the whole ordeal.

Asmodeus frowned.

Well, regardless of that she could easily make up for it. With her frown turning into a grin she heard the doorbells open and someone step inside. With a beaming smile sure to dazzle anyone who gazed upon her pretty face she set upon her first customer like some sort of fusion between a predatory bird and a businesswoman.
"Welcome to the one and only Azzy's Bizarre Bazaar! How may I help you today?"

Needless to say, Asmodeus made quite the profit by the time the starstruck Exorcist had left.
"This is a good start, yeah, this is a great start."
Azzy smiled to herself as she counted her cash.




Somewhere far away, somewhere deep within the Earth, somewhere that was hidden and created specifically to keep the things inside hidden away from the world, a masked and cloaked figure placed their hand against the glass of a rather large tube filled with oddly coloured liquid. Staring up at the figure inside of the tube, they bowed their head and pressed their lowered forehead against the glass, closing their eyes behind the mask.

"Soon."
@VitoftheVoid Snekdad is approve~
@A Lowly Wretch Shovel Knight is also approve~
Also please stop ringing that bell it's scaring me
He looks good so far, but would you mind PMing me or sending me a message on Discord so we can discuss some stuff? There's some important information in regards to Demons and stuff I haven't uploaded yet that'll be important for your character! Discord link is in this OOC thread somewhere~

Also a psa that I'm constantly uploading new information in the 0th Post so check back regularly because new stuff is constantly being added there!
Also I'm being sneaky and not announcing my own characters being send in in the Character tab but I'm letting you guys know now sooo~
@A Lowly Wretch
@Mistiel

*Innocent whistling*

On a related note Rick's approved.
Gonna be moving his best buddy Azzy over soonish~
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