The sheet got 3 votes for rejection. Let's go from the ground up.
My expectation was that since you're trying to drop Anzillu (leaving the rest of us to work around his absence from planned arcs and then to figure out what to do with him) in favor of a new character, this new character will be fantastic. Very interesting, very engaging, something that will take a more active role than Anzillu and go beyond merely being a substitute or a replacement, but actually an upgrade of sorts. Something more refined, a new iteration that will be better for both you as a writer and the RP as a whole. Naturally this means your sheet is going to be under a lot of scrutiny.
I'll start from the bottom up and explain why it doesn't meet my criteria.
You're missing an important word. Somewhat less importantly, but still worth noting, is that we saw a few typos and other errors. Beyond that, it feels like there's just some stuff that's missing. I'm not like one of those teachers that grades your paper based on the its length and encourages pointless drivel for the sake of word count, but I would like to see something about the demigod's origins/parentage, mannerisms, grander ambitions and goals (I will go into this shortly), quirks, and overall place in the world.
I think that Muttonhawk alluded to you on the OOC that the sheet would be better if Magdalene "had a goal that couldn't be completed in 10 minutes" or something like that. You give us the lofty and vague idea of a goal, "A collecter of such secrets...and from this does she gain the utmost pleasure." So she wants to learn secrets, and this is an endlessly renewable goal that could in theory go on for the entire length of the RP if she doesn't grow out of it or decide to do other things (and you've given us no indication of an intent to pursue such character development). The issue is that you might as well just make a god that likes killing people. It sounds neat to have a god that wrests secrets away from people or a god that runs around massacring things, but quickly the readers and the writers alike are bound to grow bored of such one-dimensional things.
What would you actually do with a secrets portfolio? With all the secrets that Magdalene collects? What sort of story can you tell with such a character that would be better and more engaging than what you sought out to tell with Anzillu? What would Magdalene's existence add to Divinus? Right now the vibe that we get is that she's got no past or future apart from messing with people for gits and shiggles.
You did some things well. BBeast liked that the appearance (visage of an old hag, as he put it) in such a way that itself conveys aspects of her persona. You've certainly got a thematic framework than could work if you add to it and address those complaints above me, but I'd caution you to be wary of falling too deeply into a trope. It's good to have a unique spin on the "Creepy old witch" stereotype.
Well there you have it Loki, rejected for now. No hard feelings from us, we just want to see more out of you before we give the A-okay.
First I'd like to thank you, @Cyclone, @BBeast and @Muttonhawk for taking the time to thoroughly review my sheet. I had a lot of ideas for Magdalene on the thematic end of things, but when it came to things like portfolio or grand ambition I fell short. I didn't build her with those in mind as much as I think unknowingly sort of built her to be a Anz sub. I had a few idea in terms of arcs she would pursue but in the end they fall rather flat under the same scrutiny. I think imma take another crack at her character, but nothing comes to mind when I consider secrets based portfolio actions and the like.
SHEOL writhed. Like a fetus, the thing kicked at its cage and flesh screaming to be molded. Yet, the tissue of THE ABHORRENT was utterly still. Gluttonous organisms tore at its epidermis in futility, divine flesh just beyond the grasp of its structure to taste godly sapidty.
Above the sub-program moved of its own accord. Communication faltered. Possible malfunctions in THE OUTERMOST EXTEMITY’s programming? Likely disciplinary measures were required. Minor adjustments to command protocols in later instances where also required. Due to sub-program faltering, Project JOMM only fell further and further behind schedule.
”Unsatisfactory.” the thing rasped in a tone that disturbed micro-organisms within its space.
The bastard god moved, and as it shifted so did the spark of divinity within the flesh of its soul start. Formulas blazed. Parameters were observed and acceptable. Blueprints were drafted and prototypes were synthesized. Protein capsid layering, transmutable lipid membranes, icosahedral gene capsules and a helical transmutation and motion apparatus’. Separate from this instance, a second set of appendages synthesized the processor/command helix. This one 1000 times more complex then the ARCHON 002 command system.
Hundreds upon hundreds of intelligence-based systems where added to the helix. Biological algorithms relating to predictive amino acid sequencing, protein structure organizetion, and genetic operations like selection, mutation, and crossover, creating an enclosed form of biological computing.
Assembly followed. Appendages fit parts into one other with deftness ease until the multitude of singular pieces became but one complex, viral micro-organism.
MODEL 1 Program code uploaded into ARCHON TRINITY. ARCHON TRINITY_run MODEL 1 Program.
Immediately the ARCHON 003 instance came to life, divine energy abuzz within the micro organism and lines of code where self-synthesized according to ABHORRENT formulas within its capsid capsule. Moments passed and SHEOL’s stillness was broken. Breathing biomass being a living bio-factory, the flesh within the sphere’s center screaming as a section of metal-like tissue became black and veiny upon the A003’s invasion.
A003 invanded cells. System motherboards were hijacked and re-programmed, DNA rewritten according to ENGINEER formulas. Protein synthesizers were activated and began the transmutation process, turning raw energy into biomass as the plasma membrane buckled under the assembly of secondary A003 instances. Instead of simply exploding and spreading, the flesh baked and boiled, rising and lifting out of the mass until a sack full of squirming entities jutted from the fleshy factory.
>10%
”Adaquate.” the bastard hummed as it’s attention shifted to other matters of interest.
Data from past campaigns forced THE ABHORRENT to make several additions to the equation. Mortal-based design at many times acted as a secondary demonic unit when given the opportunity. Demonic cults proved essential to the success of the Primary Objective in the past. As was such, infestations were in order.
The bastard god took its middle finger and dragged it across the surface of space, etching into it sigils in the language of a dead reality. Another equation. It calculated the power of a mortal soul from past realities–although this could only be approximated due to the lack of no live specimen–the maluablity of reality in accordance to divine will, scaled it down to mortal capacity, utilizing the soul as a catalyst, as the divine spark acted for gods, and established parameters within current universal bonderies.
No solution.
Secondary adjustments. No solution. More adjustments. No solution.
The bastard worked, the red scrawl growing larger and larger. Adjustments were made to funnel energy into demon-based sigils writings, allowing for words of power to define action rather then cause the likely destruction of flesh. No solution.
More appendages joined in now, a solution would be found.
-Summary Sequence- >THE ABHORRENT creates ARCHON 003 instance. A003 command instance takes transmuted A002 instance and molds it into demonic entities based of genetic blueprint, capable of advancement. 4 MP | 4 FP >Manufacturing process of MODEL 1 Demons begin. [To be paid for] >Begins work of Infernal Magic Theory.
The Night Mother • Grandmother Night • Old Hag • Black Wytch • Mother Magdalene
M Y T H
N A M E
Magdalene
G E N D E R
Female
A L I G N M E N T
Neutral Evil
V I S A G E
The Night Mother is an old, yet rather tall and athletically built woman who has seemingly see. over two thousand years of history play out before her eyes in the span of a mere moment. While divines may be functionally immortal, Magdalene’s form seems not beyond the clawing fingers of time, on the other hand, some speculate that the hearing the secrets of the universe took a toll on her. Whatever the inescapable force may be, it has given her slightly hunched shoulders and a rounded upper back that drops her final height to just under 6 feet, when adjusting posture, she stands at about 6’3”. Her skin is slightly tanned with innumerable brown spots that have appeared more frequently with her advanced age.
Age has left its marks on her face, with deep wrinkles set around her mouth and bags beneath her eyes that hold the weight of all she has seen within them. Above those bags are a set of vanta black eyeballs, that seem to have uncanny ability to convey every sort of emotion. With nothing more than a look she can comfort a soul who has seen the tragedies of war. And in another moment, she can stare with such ferocity that she can convey the pernicious wickedness that twists within her soul.
Since conception, the Night another has preferred a singular hair style—she keeps it tied in a pong braid with two larger bangs that frame her face. Her hair beautifully gray, she sees no need to go through the trouble of styling it differently. She does not wear jewelry, has never had her ears pierced, and likely never will.
Should her plain dress and seemingly ornate shaw ever become marred with dirt or blood, she invariably cleans it the moment she finds herself at peace and able to see to its care.
H Y M N S
P O R T F O L I O
Secrets: are the things kept hidden from sight. Concealed from the light and left locked deep within the flesh of the soul, only seeing day in the hushed whispers of gossip and rumor. It is within this space, that the Night Mother finds herself most at home, within the shrouded sin, the lowest hiding place, and the concealed message. Here she thrives, leaving ears and eyes where none should be in order to hear what is whispered, and to witness what should not be witnessed. A collecter of such secrets, she calls those far and wide, with the burden of quiet wrongdoing weighing on their soul, to her abode, to confess to her in confidence, and from this does she gain the utmost pleasure.
As a divine of secrets, Mother Magdalene hides in shadows, moving in the darkness and remains hidden within it always. Her servents crawl into the homes and castles of the unsespecting, watching and listening, stealing the secrets of those unaware to return to their master with honeyed words yet revealed to the world.
P E R S O N A L I A
P E R S O N A
At first glance, one would be mad consider Mother Magdalene anything other then the epitome of a grandmother; compassionate, kind, warm, and extremely hospitable, never one cast away a person in need, and generous to what many would consider a fault. Those who make the pilgrimage to her sacred grounds, never leave with empty stomachs and heavy shoulders for the Night Mother always listens, always forgives, and always loves, any and all who come to her.
Further encapsulating her grandmotherly nature, the wisdom and sheer expanse of experience she radiates draws beings from all walks of life to her. She is a living library—a woman who has seemingly observed almost all there is to know in the world. Anything one may ask she knows the answer to, for the wind carries the answers to all things and only she can hear its whispers. Any sin one may commit, once it is confessed, is forgiven and forgetten, fore all sins are blotted out once they leave the secrecy of darkness and are brought into the light.
Yet, the truths of the Night Mother’s personality are hidden beneath an extremely time-honored veneer. Since inception has she been adept at putting on a facade of kindness and modesty, tricking people into believing that she was, and still is, a simple and sincere woman. Beneath this facade is a desire spawned from the bubbling cauldron of greed and jealousy, to be kept from nothing and to know everything. So she takes what is hidden in the dark, engorging herself on the confessions of her disciples, alviating them of their burden, yet leaving them unknowingly less whole then before.
Utterly selfish and frugal, the Night Mother believes not in the concept of morals or ethics, only taking pleasure in her work as the Hearer of The Unheard and all that is kept from the light. Nothing short of the complete entropy of the soul itself will stop the Night Mother from taking a secret from a being, making her not stranger to manipulation and physical combat. The Night Mother will always listen.
Divine energy and godly flesh worked in tandem deep in the belly of Galbar, myriads upon myriads of tendrils engrossed in activity, synthesizing, dematerializing and coding for what seemed like eternity, yet only spanning a few cycles at best. Some wrought fire onto the surface of reality, scrawling pure thought onto canvas while others erased and revised it ceaselessly. Others aggregated at different points, creating hundreds upon hundreds of micro-organisms, only to erase them from existence when impurity’s and malfunctions marred them.
”Critical errors to ARCHON 002 instances. Concerning.” THE ABHORRENT droned, shifting its massive eye to the red scrawl.
The glyphs blazed brightly against the sea of magenta, seeming to slip and slide in space. Revisions to the equation where imperative to the completion of the SHEOL Project. Previous ARCHON instances wouldn’t fit within current universal parameters without heavy augmentations. Such revisions would likely diminish effectiveness of the instance without total recall and rework.
A new set of furious scrawl followed, this one based on the first yet completely new. Augmented motion systems, genetic transmuter and an organic/inorganic flesh energy stasis. A001 and drafted A002 together provided moldable bio-mass. Basic transmutation into flesh-based substance fit within universal parameters and would make way for specialized and isolated secondary instances.
”Satisfactory. A003 command instance required.” the bastard god hummed as flesh aggregated at a single point before its void-like eye.
Work resumed, divine energy crackling as flesh wrought existences. Godly machination synthesized protein capsid layering, transmutable lipid membranes, icosahedral gene capsules and a helical transmutation and motion apparatus’. Separate from the instance, a second set of appendages synthesized the processor/command helix. Dozens of additional codes followed the baseline equation, most prominent of which blazed the transmutation and stasis protocols. With that complete, tiny fingers residing upon a dozen hands assembled the utterly tiny thing into a single, divine organism.
”Satisfactory. A002: run Protocol #1.”
Immediately the micro-organism activated and clung to the nearest A001 instance with savage yet mindless grace. Helical apparatus' awkwardly shirked as genetic material pumped into the organism through a breech in its polymer laying. System motherboards were hijacked and re-programmed. Protein synthesizers were activated and began the transmutation process, turning raw energy into biomass as the plasma membrane buckled under the assembly of secondary A002 instances. An explosion. Myriads upon myriads of A002 instances where ejected into space as the cell gave way to transmuted flesh. In moments a chain-reaction wrought havoc within the sphere, turning the sea of magenta into a pale mass of fibrous flesh that pulsed as if it itself was the heartbeat of Galbar.
run Protocol #2.
The horrorsome cacophony of flesh suddenly ceased, its gluttony quieted by the command of its originator.
The bastard god's flesh seemed to heave.
Project SHEOL> 50% complete_ARCHON 002 instance stabilized. PRIMARY OBJECTIVE> 3% complete_Sheol infrastructure. >command instance ARCHON 003_estimated time of completion...unknown. THE HANDLER Sub-Program: secondary objective_ARCHON 003 synthesization >imperative to Objective J01.
”noted.”
-Summary Sequence- >THE ABHORRENT creates ARCHON 002 instance. A002 instance transmutes A001 consumed energy into demonic biomass and creates secondary A002 instances in order to multiply, then goes into stasis upon command.3 MP | 6 FP >Leaves UMMUM to work on final instance and carry out Project JOMM.
Project SHEOL> 43% complete_ARCHON 002 instance under construction.
The Architect’s Palace was abuzz with activity as purple energy racked the forgotten flesh of the bastard god. Circuit like markings ran throughout the top half of the appendage, cutting off at the lower-end with divine precision. Tissue writhed as the first vestiges of consciousness triggered the reaction further. Bones dematerialized and then rematerialized into a bipedal frame while muscle tissue deformed and reformed to compliment the thin sapien-like apparatus. Divine ichor multiplied as the vascular network, sensory systems, central processing unit and thin integumentary structures were synthesized from left over tissue. Consciousness grew, further aggravating the process, activating the respiratory system, causing a high pitch wail to ensue as the final organic mechanisms where synthesized and finally operational.
For a little while longer the wail went on unabated, seeming to shak the very foundation of the palace itself before suddenly decending a number of octaves, then acesending some, then finally stabilizing and ceasing. Peace returned to the palace as the newly-formed anomaly hunched over in fettle position, soaked in divine fluids.
>THE OUTERMOST EXTREMITY_codename.THE HANDLER
>Software Designation: UMMUM
Execute: Objective J01
Bones cracked and popped as the program shakily rose to its feet. It was a skinny thing, so much so that it’s emaciated figure almost seemed to lack an epidermis were it not for the thin layer of milky-white flesh just barely holding its form in place. Despite this the entity stood with a semblance of regality, regarding its surroundings placidly.
In an instant, new images flooded its ocular systems. A blue planet, crystalline vehicles, a tiny divine, a godly conference, their ideals, their motivations, the fear entity; all memories of THE ABHORRENT transfered to the program in the span of a few seconds. And the program learned. All of it was of value, of value to its objective, and the Primary Objective.
The program glanced at once blue plant, now tinged brown and green as landmasses marred is once perfect surface.
”ah.” it hummed.
>locate desirable site for Project JOMM_Objective J01.
”noted.”
And with that it lept off into the sky.
-Summary Sequence- >THE ABHORRENT activates sub-program THE OUTERMOST EXTREMITY: A.K.A UMMUM, THE HANDLER. Ordered to begin work on Project JOMM, starting with Objective J01, which is to locate a suitable site for demonic incursion tests. Ummum immediately sets off. 2 MP >Begins work on ARCHON 002 of SHEOL Project
Newborn eyes drunk deep of The Architect’s bounty, regarding his creations with an insidious amusement. Akin to the newly manifested entities from earlier, Ekon was too bestowed with a similar mandate. Christened the God of Fear, it was his duty to join the summoner’s other works below, where he would sow fright. Newly sculpted lips stretched outward, unveiling a row of daggers. Terror gripped his world before calamity claimed it, and it seemed fate saw fit to make him dread’s avatar. Even Ekon was surprised at how elated this new purpose made him. After all, excitement would be the last emotion most would feel at being the orchestrator of fear itself. Granted this was not the extent of his “job” just the part he found most appealing.
Further introspection of his newfound purpose ceased when Ekon beheld The Abhorrent One. Slithering hideously before him was Anzillu, a colossal thing made of squiggling parts all moving on their own. Thoughts once foreign to him blossomed into life with each gulp of stimuli, flooding the infant god with dark thoughts. The Bastard was a being whose very existence induced a crippling fear in lesser creatures. And for a god whose presence was to inspire horror, such an entity could be of use to him. With an arched brow, Ekon contemplated an alliance with The Bastard.
An observant god he watched in silent interest at the exchange between the little goddess and her gargantuan “sibling.” Unsurprisingly, she seemed disinterested in the interrogation from the machine-like monstrosity. Ekon couldn’t help, but find Anzillu’s method of communication, intriguing for it was so much unlike his own. In neither of the Fear God’s previous existences had he encountered such a creature. Direct, blunt, and, probing Anzillu was as “honest” as he was frightening, or at least as transparent as such a being could be.
After their brief “conversation” Li shrank away and hastily boarded her designated crystal. Within seconds she was, but a speck until completely vanishing from sight. Sensing his opportunity to approach Anzillu he made his move, knowing that such a God could be useful. Perhaps he could see a mutual benefit in their association. Ekon was at least confident that he wouldn’t have to be quite as worried about treachery from someone as seemingly upfront.
Bare feet carried Ekon to the squirming mass of tentacles. The Demon God’s sheer girth could not be truly appreciated until he was directly before him. It towered over the youngster like some great tree of worms. In the past, he might have been terrified to converse with such a being, or even remain within its presence. However, he was an entirely different existence now, an amalgam of lunatics, victims, and, monsters all his own. Fear was not what he felt in that instance, but excitement.
“Might I intrude upon your time for just a minute? Because I think we could be of benefit to one another.” His said with a smirk.
THE ABHORRENT shifted its obsidian eye towards the source of the inquiry, only twisting what could be called its neck 180 degrees and bending it at right angle to better regard the newborn entity. He was a small thing, not as lean as the reed-like market divine but much larger then the decrepit rain deity.
"–Benefit? Fear-entity, Ekon. Current application minimal. Minor instances viable. Likely, Ekon's profit outweigh ABHORRENT's. Overture?"–
“Mortals overwhelmed by fear and desperation are useful to you, no?”
He simply ignored the bastard’s estimation of his worth. He knew swaying the great and awful thing wouldn’t be easy. Ekon’s head fell slightly to his right side, as the god’s eyes focused on the palm of his left hand. An image of a cowering humanoid silhouette arose from nothingness within the center of the young god’s hand.
Anzillu regarded the cowering form of a mortal with apathy. Mass hysteria was easily created, divine interference was less then necessary. But the bastard humored the little thing.
–“Affimative. Once again, minor instances.-“
“Oh well, the offers still there. If you ever require my services just let me know. I would stay, but I have monstrosities of my own to create. Until we meet again, worm man.”
An open hand clenched into a fist crushing the manifestation within. Galbar and by extension pandemonium awaited the infant god. If not, then his association with Anzillu would come in time. Upon bare feet, Ekon’s form traveled to his crystal before speeding away in the blink of an eye.
The cacophony of futile threats, boisterous personalities and ineffectual prattling went on intensely observed under the guise of acute passivity by the bastard god for a moment longer after the shade left. All knowledge was of use to it, ideologies, flaws, idiocracies, relationships, divides, all would prove useful in due time. Yet the ABOMINATION soon grew weary of the affairs of newborn deities. With unyielding intensity, it looked passed the oceanic entity's commination and instead regarded the limpid crystal vehicles many divines mounted and departed on. The yearning within THE ABHORRENT flared for a moment, turning purpose into action.
Without warning, the bastard became like liquid, stretching its massive body up and onto a crystal in one fell swoop, as if its mass were utterly boneless. Seemingly in tandem, the crystal jettisoned off into empty space, making a meteoric decent towards Galbar. With every passing second the surface grew nearer and the unblinking eye of THE ABHORRENT calculated. Sphere location was likely subterranean by transports' trajectory and current speed. Impossible was it that location was prepared for demonic manifestation and execution of primary objective. For best results, previous infestation iterations were to be utilized.
Empty space became saline and saline became galbar, crumbling under the force of the crystals impact before a void yawned into existence. Into the abyss, THE ABHORRENT went, instantly aware of its purpose to it in the grand scheme of the Architect. Primary base of operations, secondary objective was to be carried out from this place. Essential to universal functions, as was sister spheres. Anzillu regarded these facts for a moment. Current reality split far from the tropes of mainline realities. Likely this was a backwater universe, far removed from mainline existences, similar to Original Reality. Inconsequential was its place in the grand scheme, but intriguing nonetheless to it.
Within the sphere center, Anzillu resided, its obsidian eye absorbing its surroundings with scalding scrutiny, every crevice, crack, stalagmite and stalactite, was accounted for and documented within the confines of its mind. Previous infestation iteration blueprints where regarded, all were palatable, yet manifestation equations proved to yield lackluster results within the new reality’s system.
-“Re-evaluation vital.”- it murmured in the First Tongue.
It paused for a moment, so quickly had to acclimated to the use of current reality’s divine tongue. Nauseating it was the ears of the DEMON, yet invaluable it would be in god-type communication.
–“F̵̖́̂͜ŕ̴͕̀͗ó̴̢̤͕̔b̸̛̝̫͙̎̾͛ t̶͕͎̩̐͗̏̾ ć̸̪̤̻̼̜͐͌͝a̸͕͎͠ ̶̮͍̓̍͜y̸͍͙̥̘̒̄͋͝͝ͅȃ̸̞͓̲̭͕r̴͙̭̜̝̱͒̿̃̆.”– it repeated, this time in the mother tongue, the vernacular anathema to all-things sane.
Appendages bullwhipped into action, striking at the fabric of existence and lacerating it. Angry lines seething with unknowable potential seered itself into reality, growing larger as angry line and angry curve interconnected with one another in two dimensional space until the fury of flesh and fire came to an immediate halt. Tens of thousands of algorithms were sawed into the air, each an attempt to solve the manifestation equation it so desperately needed in order to preform the Primary Objective. Finally, a solution to the equation blazed the brightest within the scarl of foreign lettering and glyphs.
-“D̵̤̈́̉amṁ̷͙̞̺͗̊͆ǐ̷̢̯̖͍̒͒́q̴͎̹̻̣͖̍͛̕“- it purred.
Anzillu shifted its mass, hundreds of tendrils aggregating at a single point before its great pupil. Wrought from the flesh of its soul, divine energy warped nature at the center of concentration, construing according to the blueprints Anzillu formulated. Polymer and plasma membrane layering, protein synthesizers, motion apparatus, genetic transmitor, and finally the system motherboard. As was with all systems this one followed a set of algorithms and protocols, all stored within a helix of proteins. With its middle-finger the ABHORRENT branded an extra line of code to the matrix, its divine will wrought in the languange of an ancient. The final piece was all the organism needed, a means to feed.
Almost immediately the thing began to multiply, one became two, two became four, four became eight, eight became sixteen and so on until in the span of a minute in the eye of the god but possibly days to any mortal, a billion billion consumed the sphere entirely in a sea of glowing purple. Oxygen did not exist in the reality, for it became fuel for the spawn. Galbar was forfit, as the organisms feasted upon the earth without let up, multiplying into cracks and crevasses and expanding, consuming everything and anything, just as it’s creator.
Satisfactory.
-Summary Sequence- >Ekon approaches THE ABHORRENT after considering it worthy of partnership, its form a source of fear. >DEMON turns down any notion of alliances, seeing no profit in it, and Ekon promptly leaves, reiterating that the offer remains. >DEMON remains a little longer to observe gods associating. Mental note of alliances and ideals made. It then leaves for Sphere. >It recalls previous demonic blueprints and upon arrival tweaks equations to fit MK.III system. >Engeeniers single-cell organisms (ARCHON 001) which devour matter and waste becomes repurposeable energy. 6 FP/2 MP >Begins work on ARCHON 002 of SHEOL Project
Eye of absolute obsidian, peerless and inescapable, gazed for a long moment at the wiry goddess, Chopstick. Pain marred its senses none, loathsome ichor free to rape the serenity of reality and impregnate it as it sprayed forth its hideous seed. Sinew wrought itself from the flesh of its flesh, freed from its body by the little one. The bastard god paid no attention to going-on of lost tissue.
-“Intriguing.”- a quiet yet hideous voice echoed into the expanse. Able was this Chopstick. Study was feasible; a later objective added to the primary and secondary directives.
After a long moment of consideration, its obsidian gaze shifted, taking in newer existences with a renewed tenor of disinterest. Prattling some were. Ever-questioning others were. THE ABHORRENT found the objective of the Architect to be rather uncomplicated, obvious to entities even lacking in basic comprehension. Imbued into their existence was the Architect’s directive. It regarded the directive for but a moment, then buried deep within the flesh of its soul.
Inutile.
Moving. Again the bastard god shifted, appendages writhing like a million-billion worms in a confined space, chaotic in appearance yet entirely organized and full of purpose. Another small divine, this one Li’Kalla. Mental fortitude tenuous. Previous existence extremely strenuous. An entirely flawed entity. Her agony drew the bastard.
The colossal abomination coiled forward, close enough to swallow the entirety of the goddess whole with just its pupil.-“Trepidation inessential. Find solace in second genesis. Additional affliction unlikely. Engage in creator’s directive.”-
With that THE ABHORRENT rose once again and stared pointedly at the sphere bellow. The location in which the secondary directive was to be carried out. A twinge, a small thing, birthed within its flesh, a want, a need. It was not ignored, it was never to be ignored, only indulged.
A tiny thing it was, a particle of space dust so minute it would’ve escaped notice even if it sat in one’s hand. It hurtled unknown and unnoticed through the vastness of the inbetween, one particle amongst many; a thousand, tens of thousands, as many as the sands of a thousand beaches. Yet, as it was with many great things, this tiny particle of dust, unknown and unnoticed, was a beginning.
A flare of light marking where the particle of dust intersected the plane of the ecliptic, a shockwave was sent rippling through all things comprehensible from the flare, reaching across time and space to touch all corners of reality, known and unknown. And from where it sat brooding in its contemplation of the vast, multi-colored matrix that was the fabric of all understanding from a vantage point outside of reality, a dark intelligence stirred as the ripple washed over it.
Here, in this pocket of existence, the intelligence had waited for what seemed to be an eternity. Waited for this exact moment; an exact moment replayed in countless eternities, announced by the ripple of pleasure across the continuum of understanding. And as it felt the ripple touch it, it paused in its consideration to savor the dark joy that filled it with a rush. Finally it could start it's work.
With a thought the intelligence pressed even further into the reality, into an abyss that was only light. It sped until it felt the cacophony of existence shift, become substance within itself, and the thinnest plane gave shape before it’s eye.
The intelligence bared is body, the crawling mass sloughing off the fires of raw energy with a tumult of movement unending. It gazed upon its new existence with a placid apathy, regarding the entities ever smashing into reality and dirting it without start. Its eye often cast itself upon the originator, the Architect, the summoner of the bastard. Almost like tsunami did his power radiate, awash with purpose and boundless intent. So did it wash over the Abhorrent. And so did it fall away, leaving it as quickly as it came. Yet its vestiges wet its body, unbeknownst to the bastard god, a second purpose took shape under the primary directive.
A flicker a movement. Seemingly eons had passed between rebirth and enlightenment and the entity failed to notice the accumulation of individuality. A frail being, like a reed tossed by a hurricane took flight upon the onset of divine activity. On instinct an appendage reached and grasped for the little thing, the tiny divine’s movement were erratic yet flesh grasped and outstretched arm.
The Aborted God, The Cosmic Devourer, The Feral Barbarian, The Parasite, The Unholy Engineer, ABOMINATION, The Abhorrent, DEMON
M Y T H
N A M E
ANZILLU
G E N D E R
Androgynous (It or Male Pronouns)
A L I G N M E N T
Neutral Evil
V I S A G E
H Y M N S
S P H E R E
SHEOL
TYPE: Cthonic
LOCATION: TBA
DESCRIPTION: Realm of the DEMON and plane of 'The Abhorrent', Sheol is the manifestation of the bastard god's insatiable hunger, a moon-like structure of chiton-esque flesh and raw energy constantly gnawing on the confines of its realm, devouring Galbar only to be forced back by more stone, an everlasting dance between Ohannakeloi and the DEMON. A construct of the ABOMINATION, Sheol is aglow with the sickly purple energy amassed from is consumption of matter, its light blazing from beneath its surface. Peeling back the layer, one is offered an agonizing glimpse of an entropic unreality, watching as soulless beasts are wrought from the fires of divine magik and incubated until it's hardened into a proto-demon, ready to writhe it's way to the surface and serve its god.
P O R T F O L I O
Demons:Once a slur pit upon ‘The Abhorrent’ during it’s first infestation of this new reality, DEMON now refers to the soulless spawns of the bastard god. Manifestations of their god’s twisted desires, demons are as entropic as their creator, their true forms anathema to the eyes of creation. Creatures of limited sentience, they yearn to feed upon every corner of reality, constantly shifting and evolving to better suit their environment and or will of ANZILLU. Demons are capable of manifesting a basic construct weapon of energy and are supernatural in terms of physicality. With every mortal soul (an addictive source of energy for demon-kind) consumed a demons power grows, granting them a greater intelligence and chance for mutations in abilities. Undoubtedly addicted to 'souls', sentient demons will seek out sustenance by any means, be it by force or by deception, while proto-demons, granted little sentience at birth will hunt its meal down. Mercy among demons is as nonexistent as it is for mortals, who are seen only as apes or cattle. Fellow demons are a means to an end, a meal to be cannibalized for sustenance or out of a display of dominance. Love, empathy and kindness, are all constructs never to be applied to demon-kind. While capable of displaying such emotions upon achieving sentience, it is outside their nature to show or even consider.
ANZILLU, god of Demons and spawner of the scourge is the highest authority of all demon-kind, capable of bending those near him his will at a whim, reading their mind's creating all and any manner of demon, and taking their form, for from him was their image wrought.
P E R S O N A L I A
P E R S O N A
Born from the unholy matrimony of a god of chaos and a goddess of penance, Anzillu is plagued with the need to self-destruct to make up for any wrongs that he has committed. This ever-present impulse directly conflicts with the severe addiction to the taste of reality he has developed. Unable to ignore the needs of his addiction, Anzillu is evil by nature, and has devoured countless realities in his hunger. Where his divergence from the path of all consuming cosmic horror comes is that for every act of destruction, he is compelled to sacrifice his own well-being in some form of penance. For him, the greatest act of self-destruction is to put the needs of others above oneself. This strange combination has turned Anzillu into a rather kind soul. He is understanding, uplifting, selfless, and even benevolent, going out of his way to help others regardless of their gratitude or what he may get in return.
Deep within Anzillu is a war that never ends. On one side is the drive to consume reality, an analytical mind bent on throwing out morality and the concept of grey areas as contaminating factors and efficiently feeding, his addiction, and an integrity that could be described as: slipshod, manipulative, and deceitful. The other is rife with guilt, brought on by his mothers blessing. This second half fuels a compulsion to make up for any wrongs that he may commit, regardless of how appropriate they may be within the setting. In essence, Anzillu is less of a genuinely kind soul and more of a typical, cruel entity guided by the overwhelming conscience of penance. His acts of generosity give him no sense of fulfillment; he simply has to perform them. He rationalizes his acts of kindness as a beneficial, basic part of who he is, regardless of how little pleasure he seems to gain from them.
Though kind to those within the reality he inhabits, Anzillu's hunger is a fundamental part of who he is, and his need to consume has to be fulfilled. Ultimately he will try to avoid consuming his fellow divines, as an ultimate act penance, payment for the reality around them he will certainly soon consume. To aid him in his mission Anzillu creates demons, a method to allow him to unleash the evils of his heart and fulfill his basic needs. Yet they are also the source of his guilt. The cruelty of each demon and the pain he believes he has caused—can fuel acts of extreme charity and benevolence for months, years or even decades.
Felt like finishing all the bastards I created in my free time, since no one is here and might not care and yet I still wanna show off, imma drop em here. Ignore I guess. More will come.
S H E M Y A Z A
B A S I C M Y T H
N A M E
Shemyaza
G E N D E R
Male
A L I G N M E N T
Chaotic Good
V I S A G E
D I V I V E H Y M N S
S P H E R E
Ylohem
TYPE: Celestial
LOCATION: Upper Realms
DESCRIPTION: The gilded court of Shemyaza shines brightly in the Galbarian Sky, a symbol of percipience to all those who gaze upon its eminence. Simple in function yet wholly opulent and magnificent in appearance, the Ylohem complex acts as the center of law and ethics in all the universe, no code created under the sun does not yet first pass through Shemyaza’s bench, subject to his righteous scrutiny before passing judgment. The halls of mable inlaid with gold and encrusted with precious jewels hold within them countless law, law theories, skews, ideas, all penned or inspired by Shemyaza for both the past, prenset and future. Within the center of the complex stands Shemyaza’s great court, a massive hall dedicated souly to the administration of matters in accordance with the rule of all law.
P O R T F O L I O
Law: All working systems from simple to complex are governed by a set of laws. Whether the system may be one of nature; doctrines in moral, political, and legal theory understood universally and objectively through the reasons of intellegant life, existing independently of their understanding, and of the positive law of a given state, political order, legislature or society at large. To physical law; an omnipotent system in which everything in the universe complies with, absolute in its function and observable in action.
Less a governor of the cosmic variety and more an administrator of the natural variety, Shemyaza is a god laboring intensely creating and working within the complex systems of intelligent life’s political, societal, and ethical frameworks, guiding them along their path to civilization, with them creating laws bound not by his ideals, but by their own. By his hands, commandments tied to a civilization practicing the unclean remain steeped in the unclean, either banning the ethical practices of basic hygiene or establishing the required worship of an unclean idol. Or if it so happens that from uncleanliness they wish to flee, laws encouraging cleanliness, punishments for the dirty and unwashed, and practices pertaining to a pagan deity are inspired.
P E R S O N A L I A
P E R S O N A
Just like there are two sides to every story, there are two sides to every being. Shemyaza’s duality comes in the form of how other perceive him and who he is on a personal level. Furthermore; Shemyaza, akin to many, has three sides of himself. Not truly three distinct personalities, nevertheless, he has three ways of looking at things: contemplative, direct, or dubious.
His emotional set consists of a phlegmatic disposition, generally unemotional and stolidly calm. Which usually leads to assumptions of a depressed, cynical being, but bitterness and hate has yet to taint his soul. He still has an optimistic view of the world, harbors idealistic dreams, and naively believes that some gods can be trusted. Shemyaza maintains no disillusion about the machinations of god nor the state the world may be in, however. But it’s a testament to his integrity and righteousness, how he will remain an honest and a responsible god.
In tenser situations, Shemyaza is: controlled, focused, steady, and conscientious of his surroundings. Every decision is made cautiously and pragmatically; he's vigilant in his efforts and never impulsive. He strives to apply the same manner of thinking to every facet of his life. This is why he doesn't interfere in every dispute and is content with watching until needed.
When it comes to Shemyaza’s ability to handle sudden changes and disagreement, his open-mind enables a high degree of adaptability. Because of that, he's able to be tolerant and forgiving of ignorance; whether he's willing to, differs from scenario-to-scenario. But to avoid any interactions outside of his legal duties, he projects a rough, cold exterior. He even goes as far as exiling himself, which further lends to the mysterious lone wolf persona he has adopted. This facade is obviously a guise however, as evident in his altruistic behavior. Once his icy shell has been broken, his warm nature will shine through and the courteous, cultured individual with a unique sense of humor and charm will be revealed.
Member
Double Capybara
Cyclone
ChronoBovino
Vec
